What’s been up? How’s work? Is your family doing well?

I’ve lived long enough to desire more than this conversation. Nothing much, its decent and yeah they’re great. I’m no cynic but this reality has faced me with a parallel universe and hunger for true meaning. I doubt my younger self would believe that has anything to do with an internet frog.

It’s clear there must be pain on the way to bliss.

I wonder what means something when one ceases to explore. Luckily I will never know, at least I hope not. It’s funny when you begin to see how things work. That self-chuckle you get when you see something you’ve already seen happen before. I guess that’s what it means to grow wise, but I must put this to use.

I am absolutely blessed, given perspective. One could argue we are all blessed given the same. It’s all point of view. In theory then, you becoming a master of perspective or “3rd person” could unlock your new reality instead of a passively influenced one.

The past 3 years have been tough, or maybe just exciting. I always remember the main character in a story never has a good time, or if they do it is short lived. This is inherently what creates your story.

Knowledge really is the key. In my journey through the internet I found my way only through curiosity, courage and a healthy amount of greed. For better or for worse, there were no mentors in sight.. all I could do was fail to learn.

Crypto peaked my interest mid 2020 post covid crash. My boss bought 1 ETH for $250, “wtf is ethereum”, I thought. Fast forward a few months I had $10k invested and was amidst the craze of DeFi summer. I had no clue what finance was let alone decentralization. With quite literally 0 guidance I was all in and the idea of quick money + curiosity fueled my education. Even grasping what a market cap took some time… 🤦‍♂️ funny to think.

I often forget how jarganny the finance industry is. An obvious design to keep out Joe Shmoe and an already distracted public. Gen Z hates anything that smells of money so fund managers get to play undisturbed, accumulating for their exit-liquidity. The catch is, even they get too greedy.

I continued falling on my face, blind in a room full of glass and sharp objects looking for a way out. I soon stumbled upon possibly the most valuable lesson I learned in investing. You can never be too curious. In this game a judgmental mind is a broke mind.. broke in funds and in inspiration, à la growth. A beautiful concept to bring into real life.

A memory that comes to mind was seeing the news that VISA bought a Crypto Punk. No clue what that was and appalled by the simplistic pixelated artwork I scoffed and continued trading shitcoins. No research, just judgement. Burnt out from technical analysis and leverage trading an entire 1 year later I entered the NFT space, post generational wealth.

Luckily there I found much more than money, I learned more, met people and learned more again. This is where the secret lesson showed itself. When you embed yourself in a community, understand and then believe in something.. that is when opportunities show up at your doorstep. Less searching for a win, more curiosity + studying while surrounding yourself with the like-minded.

In the land of money-grabs and toxic positivity, the winners are those who remain persistent. Not unlike real life, showing up everyday and being yourself can do wonders. Relentless and un-phased, I myself am beginning to reap the reward of staying committed and showing love.

I‘ve been in every community I could afford. Any culture I could find with opportunity or some semblance of realness + artistry. Communities on Ethereum, Tezos, Solana, Near, Cardano, Avalanche and the list goes on. That was until I brought my attention back to Ethereum early 2022.

At first, I never imagined I would understand Crypto Punks. A year before seeing a Punk I had my 2nd art show in boojie West Hollywood. I “knew art” and “this must be some tax evasion tactic”, I said to myself. How closed minded, while I told myself I was the opposite.

There is something about good pixel art. It only makes sense a lover of paintings admires the texture from a brush.. just as the degen admires the gradient and DPI. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder they say…

Who knows how but I happened upon a collection of Rage Comics inspired NFTs, Derage by the mysterious artist Darkfarms. The name alone sounded like I had heard it before.. it made me want to learn more. A week later the mint for SMOWL was announced and as soon as I saw, I knew it would go.

Fast forward another 6 months of degeneracy, I began seeing artists use Smowls as their digital identity. My only remaining Smowl still sitting dormant in my wallet. I loved it, but didn’t see it as me just yet. I then delved deeper into the meme-power of Darkfarms and the foundational history of Rare Pepes.

Mind you, I still hadn’t minted my art in the 2 years of being in crypto. It needed to feel right and I wanted to do it in the most respectable way (an ideology I involuntarily learned while living in Japan). I started brainstorming and this is where the idea of www began.

Coming from a background in design and specializing in brand identity, I love the process and result of creating an overarching brand and universe. If art is about the meaning, its context and voice must be sound but versatile. ‘www’ references both web3 and the internet while allowing me to remain me.** Internet me**.. with Pepe, the default internet being, as my muse.

It has been brilliant connecting with other amazing artists that see things similar as I. A high standard for art with obscure cultural perspectives and a penchant for innovating while respecting history.

Recently I’ve realized my focus is no longer on technical analysis.. most of my days are spent with frens, buying and minting art, having fun on the internet. Who would have thought it could be so simple.

Despite this it is unavoidable to notice macro economics bringing fear into degenerate hearts.. a turbulent time but because of just that, now is when the real remain…

So, I am still here… connecting, creating and building for a better future.

— Color

* originally written November 10, 2022

Funny to find you here… you’ve caught me as I gather the puddle that is my mind. Don’t worry, I’m doing just fine. I thought it would be healthy to write out loud for once.

Life has been transformative the past few months. I travelled from Los Angeles to Austin, TX and beyond to New Orleans and up the Mississippi river. Later to New York city and to upstate NY, Washington D.C., Philly, Baltimore… I always wanted to see the rest of America.

My favorite was Arkansas and Pennsylvania… so beautiful but also so poor. While learning about markets, money and how it all works, traveling through economic decline is such an odd feeling. I never saw it in person… Trump country… endless towns and cities with declining population and GDP. Empty promises and no real solution, just an affirmation that its “not your fault! (insert person or group to blame)”. It really puts in perspective how disconnected the coastal city way of thinking is from the American countryside. We don’t understand each other because the system we live in keeps us divided.

I understand these people at least a little bit better. If racist, their racism is the symptom not their inner purpose. They only see “their kind” everyday with communities revolving around church… then they go home, “protect their land” and watch FOX News. All of which brainwashes and confirms their bias… and it’s not even their fault.

This led me to return to Los Angeles hungry and grateful. I realized how I have been taking my city for granted. A melting pot of culture and commerce, a place with world class minds mixing and if you work hard enough, many opportunities. Now to be grateful and put in that work.

I’ve been making art for some years now. My first show was in Kanazawa, Japan in 2013. My second in Los Angeles in 2017. These works were largely based on a concept I had, Bukau. A sort of visual DNA of the world, used to frame the perspective of the subject the pattern occurred on top of.

All Bukau works are a mix of hand and digital techniques. Though the designs are simple, putting together the perfect placement and spacing of these shapes is a time consuming task. I do love Bukau, it is quite pleasing to the eye and soul… relaxing even. But my hands and endless hours toiling over perfection have been grinding at my sanity over the years.

I‘d like to draw. I see Picasso effortlessly scribble his visions and emotions… how free, how confident. I am not a computer, I am a human. Thus, I must embark on a new journey riddled with uncertainty, some fear and my shortcomings.

A road of freedom and happiness.

Who doesn’t want to be free?

It’s funny how easily our habits lock us away from this bliss. I began looking at my life and why I was so unhappy. I soon discovered this is largely because of expectations. The life-long expectation of success and being great.. pleasing others and taming our creative freedom in the name of impressing others.

It makes sense, they need us to stay in some kind of order… all of us can’t be free. Or maybe we can…

I am done existing in life for anyone but myself. Of course within reason… considering your inner circle is healthy, we are social beings after all.

I’ve hung out with rich people… famous people… both of which have explained to me their problems and reasons for depression. A bitcoin billionaire that can’t deal with his ex-wife, tainting his relationship with his child… a real estate mogul that “has everything but can’t find love”. Both have told me to my face that they are sad and need help.

These experiences compounded became my understanding of the “valuable things” in life. Movies, the government, our parents have told us what we should want. Most of which are wrong and lead to sadness.

nir·va·na: (in Buddhism) a transcendent state in which there is neither suffering, desire, nor sense of self, and the subject is released from the effects of karma and the cycle of death and rebirth. It represents the final goal of Buddhism.

I remembered this buddhist concept. I decided I’ll start with the lite version.

Out with Bukau. Who cares if anything looks good, my goal in life is not pleasing some type of greatness. My goal is happiness and I want to draw.

Now I have found a new road… a path that is only mine with 1 goal, happiness. All this by exploring and learning more about life, who would have thunk it. 😂

I will continue to export my growing mind here. Love.

— Color

* originally written August 11, 2022