AI Took My Job, My Girlfriend, and My Life Savings And All I Got Was This Stupid Meme Coin
SAN FRANCISCO — Advanced automated intelligent large language models are depleting the funds of local resident Less Sentsinsky. Officials reported...
AI Took My Job, My Girlfriend, and My Life Savings And All I Got Was This Stupid Meme Coin
SAN FRANCISCO — Advanced automated intelligent large language models are depleting the funds of local resident Less Sentsinsky. Officials reported...
Tesla to Pay Employees in Universal Intersubjective Work Tokens
AUSTIN — Starting in Q3 of this year, Tesla will no longer pay employees in US Dollars and instead pay them in $TSLA, a brand new universal...
Tesla to Pay Employees in Universal Intersubjective Work Tokens
AUSTIN — Starting in Q3 of this year, Tesla will no longer pay employees in US Dollars and instead pay them in $TSLA, a brand new universal...
Total Solar Eclipse Still Has Nothing on Luna Eclipse
DALLAS — On April 8th the moon passed in front of the entirety of the sun for the first time since 2017. This rare phenomenon isn’t set to occur again...
Total Solar Eclipse Still Has Nothing on Luna Eclipse
DALLAS — On April 8th the moon passed in front of the entirety of the sun for the first time since 2017. This rare phenomenon isn’t set to occur again...
Trump Coin Faces Jail Time for Yield Generating Price Fixing
WASHINGTON D.C. — The whole nation stands in awe as Trump Coin prepares to stand trial for price fixing yield-generating protocols on...
Trump Coin Faces Jail Time for Yield Generating Price Fixing
WASHINGTON D.C. — The whole nation stands in awe as Trump Coin prepares to stand trial for price fixing yield-generating protocols on...
PREMIUM — Bitcoin Halving Will Take Half Your Money, Experts Say
POUGHKEEPSIE – Researchers at a small college in upstate New York have uncovered an alarming truth about the upcoming Bitcoin Halving. While many...
PREMIUM — Bitcoin Halving Will Take Half Your Money, Experts Say
POUGHKEEPSIE – Researchers at a small college in upstate New York have uncovered an alarming truth about the upcoming Bitcoin Halving. While many...
Markets Rally on News SHIB and DOGE Expecting Puppies
DOWNTOWN — In the volatile and unpredictable world of cryptocurrencies, where virtual assets frequently adopt the guises of dicks, butts, HarryPotterObamaSonic10Inu and even ugly ass primates, two coins have unapologetically seized the spotlight, captivating not just investors but also fervent devotees: SHIB and DOGE. Though sharing common canine ancestry, the two breeds have a somewhat different foundational stock that has manifested itself through their respective online communities, price ...
Markets Rally on News SHIB and DOGE Expecting Puppies
DOWNTOWN — In the volatile and unpredictable world of cryptocurrencies, where virtual assets frequently adopt the guises of dicks, butts, HarryPotterObamaSonic10Inu and even ugly ass primates, two coins have unapologetically seized the spotlight, captivating not just investors but also fervent devotees: SHIB and DOGE. Though sharing common canine ancestry, the two breeds have a somewhat different foundational stock that has manifested itself through their respective online communities, price ...
SBF Sent to Jail for Punchable Face Violation
PALO ALTO — Currently living with his parents while out on bail pending trial, Sam Bankman-Fried, aka SBF, was arrested on Friday when his bail was revoked by Judge Lewis Kaplan. According to court records, Kaplan noted, "a flagrant disregard for the court’s order to ensure the public display of his physical appearance does not compel others to violence." In other words, SBF was told not to publicly display what is more commonly known as a "punchable face," yet he did anyway. Early in his ine...
SBF Sent to Jail for Punchable Face Violation
PALO ALTO — Currently living with his parents while out on bail pending trial, Sam Bankman-Fried, aka SBF, was arrested on Friday when his bail was revoked by Judge Lewis Kaplan. According to court records, Kaplan noted, "a flagrant disregard for the court’s order to ensure the public display of his physical appearance does not compel others to violence." In other words, SBF was told not to publicly display what is more commonly known as a "punchable face," yet he did anyway. Early in his ine...
Petty Thugs Look for Curve CEO
LONDON — Curve CEO Michael Egorov owes money all over the blockchain. The DeFI guru is 80 M in debt, leveraged to his eyeballs, and staring down the barrel of a margin call shotgun. Blockchains, and their protocol's, are notorious for being "unhuman", that is strictly ran on code. However, given the outsized position of Egorov's debt he now has several petty thugs passing his photo around town, and asking if, "anybody has seen him." Unfortunately the thugs are not that bright, and t...
Petty Thugs Look for Curve CEO
LONDON — Curve CEO Michael Egorov owes money all over the blockchain. The DeFI guru is 80 M in debt, leveraged to his eyeballs, and staring down the barrel of a margin call shotgun. Blockchains, and their protocol's, are notorious for being "unhuman", that is strictly ran on code. However, given the outsized position of Egorov's debt he now has several petty thugs passing his photo around town, and asking if, "anybody has seen him." Unfortunately the thugs are not that bright, and t...
Twitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...
Twitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...
Crypto Newbies Tired of Hearing About "Good Ol' Days" from Guy Who Got in Two Years Ago
TULSA — At the “Crypto-Curious” Meetup group, new attendees are already voicing concern about existing member, Joshua Stanton. Stanton—who’s been coming to the meetup since summer of 2021—shared several insights at the group’s most recent gathering about the favorable market conditions that year. “PEPE’s nothing,” he blurted out, interrupting three first-time attendees who’d been talking about making some money on the popular meme coin. “Back in my day, we had a ‘PEPE’ every week!” he continu...
Crypto Newbies Tired of Hearing About "Good Ol' Days" from Guy Who Got in Two Years Ago
TULSA — At the “Crypto-Curious” Meetup group, new attendees are already voicing concern about existing member, Joshua Stanton. Stanton—who’s been coming to the meetup since summer of 2021—shared several insights at the group’s most recent gathering about the favorable market conditions that year. “PEPE’s nothing,” he blurted out, interrupting three first-time attendees who’d been talking about making some money on the popular meme coin. “Back in my day, we had a ‘PEPE’ every week!” he continu...
