I always knew I was meant for more than the life I was living. That somehow this was just the training ground for what would come next.
I spent most of my life frustrated without really knowing why. I thought it was because of where I was, but I think it was actually because somewhere inside me, I knew where I should be.
You can see the idea. Feel the possibility of it. You might even have pages of notes, cryptic scribbles and a new life you have envisioned more times in your mind than you would care to admit.
But you still don’t know how to get from this point to that point.
So life continues along and nothing really changes.
You wait for that moment of clarity, or the hand that reaches through the clouds and says, ‘Here, finally it’s all yours.’
For years, I thought this was just me being lazy. Unmotivated or too scared to do anything about it.
I probably blamed the people around me, my parents and maybe just life in general for dealing me this shitty hand.
I believed I needed a better routine with a clearer plan that allowed me to be more consistent whilst having less distractions. Maybe even one of those beautifully organised notebooks owned by people who wake up knowing exactly what their five year plan is.
What I eventually understood was far less elegant.
I wasn’t struggling to finish because I lacked discipline.I was struggling because the version of me who started the journey would not be the same person who completed it. And I was kind of scared of what that would look like.
So I was too scared to start at all.
Instead, I lived as the person frustrated with where I was, still knowing I was destined for more, while also being too scared to do anything about it.
Congratulations to me. I’d earned a doctorate in rumination.
Our fantastical mind likes to tell us that change begins with an idea, runs neatly toward the outcome and moves perfectly through whatever steps are required.
You decide what you want.
Make the plan.
Follow the steps.
Collect the result.
But genuine change is rarely that simple.
Instead, it interrupts your identity. It exposes and questions thoughts you have relied on for years. It asks you to release things that feel comfortable while giving you absolutely no guarantee that whatever comes next will be better.
I thought it was the hard work I was scared of. It wasn’t.
It was making that first choice.
Deciding to step out of the never ending loop and into something I could not already see.
This is why so many ideas remain trapped inside potential.
Potential is seductive because it asks nothing of you.
An idea held inside your mind can remain perfect forever. But until you bring it into physical reality, it can be judged, misunderstood, rejected. Or it can fail completely.
But the most confronting, it can succeed.
Then you have to be the person you claimed you actually wanted to become.
The 9 Points of Disruption (9POD), is the framework I created from my very own personal journey where I lived through every single one of these steps (and on multiple occasions.)
The framework itself became part of my process. Giving those experiences a structure helped me see that there was something real underneath all of them, and that what had looked like a collection of unrelated changes had actually been following a similar movement.
Each point of disruption moves a concept out of possibility and into your own tangible reality. It also says to anyone struggling, that someone else has been through this before you and you will be okay.
The nine points identify the process as I experienced it.
They are not nine tidy boxes to tick nor something that must be followed, just simply my anatomy of my own personal awakening.
Every real creation begins before you fully know what it is.
It can begin as discomfort or an irritation. Even a thought that just won’t go away.
It is usually connected to your own desires, particularly the ones you keep ignoring, so it will push through pretending to be something else entirely.
It can look any way it wants.
But somewhere inside it will be the requirement for change. That is its entry.
The Origin is not the polished concept. It is the disturbance beneath it.
Something inside you starts asking you to move while all the old thoughts you have collected start fighting the change at exactly the same time.
The new fights the old.
The familiar fights the unseen.
Fragments that once appeared unrelated start colliding and you have absolutely no idea what to do with any of them.
Regardless of what you decide, the point of conception has already formed somewhere inside the psyche.
This is where you either make the choice willingly, or sometimes life ends up making the choice for you.
You probably won’t see the Origin while you are standing inside it.
But somewhere further along the journey, you will look back and know exactly when it happened.
The Origin does not arrive with a completed plan.
It might only be a spark. An idea. Something waiting for a new shape.
It does not have to shout.
It just has to remain persistent enough that eventually you respond.
And how you respond creates what comes next.
(This is an oldie, but this series was created back when 9POD wasn’t fully formed yet. Click this link for the full playlist.)
Even though it may not feel like you have begun something big or new yet, things start expanding in every direction.
You notice more, you want to know more.
A sentence in a book or a stranger’s observation.
A pattern in a completely unrelated field. Something you overhear while waiting for coffee.
Information starts coming in from places you would never have thought to look.
The temptation here is to start filtering it.
We use our old ways of looking at new information because certainty makes us feel productive. We want to name the idea. Define its audience. Decide what it is allowed to become and organise it into something that makes sense now.
Expansion asks for almost the opposite.
Open the doors.
Receive before immediately deciding whether something belongs.
Let the strange references, contradictions and unexpected threads accumulate.
You are not assembling the final answer yet, you are increasing the number of possible connections. (Anna Tip : this might be one of the most important parts.)
It can look messy from the outside, but internally, something much more interesting is happening, you just can’t see it yet.
Self awakening requires willingness.
You cannot keep accepting information from the same places, interpreted through the same beliefs, and expect to discover something completely new.
There is a lot more out there.
Sometimes the code that changes your life appears in a form you would never normally have looked at.
Let it in before you decide what it means.
Remain open to the possibility that truth might arrive looking nothing like you expected.
Eventually, inspiration has to touch the body.
Which means you are going to have to feel it.
This is the point where an idea stops being something interesting inside your mind and becomes an actual experience.
You test it. Wear it. Put some weight on it and allow it to get friendly with your existing beliefs and see what survives the collision.
Without this part, you can very easily become a collector of other people’s wisdom.
Which sounds impressive but does not change anything.
There is an enormous difference between understanding something and having it change the way you live.
You can consume hundreds of hours of information about courage while continuing to organise your entire life around avoidance.
You can speak fluently about authenticity without once risking anybody’s disapproval.
Experiment is where the performance ends and you actually have to do it.
Try the practice.
Make the offer.
Change the routine.
Say the thing.
Build the first version.
Enter the room.
Then let reality answer you.
Some experiments will confirm the idea, and others will dismiss it completely.
Things you had previously romanticised might suddenly feel flat or incomplete once you actually experience them. Both outcomes are useful.
The point is not to be right.
The point is to become an active participant in your own transformation.
You cannot think your way across every threshold.
At some point, your feet have to carry you there.
This is where the process usually stops being pleasant.
All these new changes are now beginning to interfere with things.
This different version of you needs room, which means some of the things you are still holding onto are going to have to move out of the way.
There is no space for the new when the room is still full of the old.
Every significant creation eventually reaches something in the existing structure that it has to dissolve.
Your inherited rules.
The identity you approved.
What your family expects of you.
How you decided success should look.
You have to undo some of it before you can build something solid. Otherwise you are just adding another floor to something already sitting on sand.
Nobody decides to upheave everything they have known for most of their life because it sounds like a pleasant Tuesday afternoon.
Letting go of pieces that made you you, without knowing what will replace them, is deeply uncomfortable. But being able to see those pieces clearly is also one of the most empowering things that can happen.
With an open enough mind, you eventually start asking some very simple questions.
Who taught you that?
Who benefits from you continuing to believe it?
Would you choose it again if you were hearing it for the first time today?
Simple questions.
Potentially enormous answers.
Here comes a story…
When I was a kid, we were at a service station back when someone would come out, fill your car with fuel, clean the windows and check the oil. My father pointed to the man working there and warned us that if we did not study, this was where we would end up.
He would say the same thing about the bin man.
The valet.
The cleaner.
The gardener.
We were constantly shown the people who, in my father’s eyes, had not done enough with their lives.
His message was very clear.
The ONLY way to succeed was to get good grades at school, go to university and get a good job.
Undoing that was hard.
At first, I didn’t even know there was anything there to undo. I thought that was simply what life was.
The undoing allowed me to pull it apart far enough to see what it was actually made from, what belonged to him, what I had carried forward, and what was left once I stopped automatically agreeing with it.
Undoing can feel like failure because the old structure starts collapsing before the new one is visible.
Plans stop making sense and relationships change shape.
Things you once tolerated can suddenly become physically difficult to ignore.
It does not necessarily mean you are lost, it simply means the directions you borrowed are no longer controlling the route.
Seeing what is no longer yours is not the same as letting it go.
Release requires participation.
You can understand that a relationship has ended and still keep reaching for it, hoping somehow you can get it back.
You can outgrow an identity while continuing to introduce yourself as the old one. You can know a belief is false and still organise every decision around it.
We cling because even an outdated reality has one very compelling advantage.
It is known.
The nervous system can have a strange preference for familiar pain over unfamiliar freedom. Release creates space.
But that space does not always feel peaceful and at first, it can feel like loneliness.
It can make you wonder whether you have made a terrible mistake and sometimes you will start looking for a way back.
This is why release has to become physical at some point.
End the agreement.
Clear the room.
Stop returning to the conversation.
Remove the object.
Change the pattern.
Allow what is finished to become finished.
Imagine holding a balloon by its string. You do not need to hurl it dramatically into the distance, just loosen your hand and the wind knows what to do next.
And that’s it.
Let go.
Annoyingly, sometimes it really is that simple.
After some of the noise leaves, you start hearing with a little more precision.
Connection is not the desperate search for another answer, it is recognising what is ready to match.
I usually feel it in my body before my mind has worked out how to explain it. Like a comfortable settling or even an opening. Sometimes just a very obvious internal yes.
The right thing does not always make me feel safe, but it does feel coherent.
That difference is important.
Even when something feels like fear, it can still be present when something is right for you.
Alignment is not always appearing in the absence of fear, sometimes it is simply the absence of self betrayal. And when some of these connective moments start to happen, external opinions starts losing some of its strength.
You have created enough internal space to recognise which information belongs to this version of you and which is simply noise asking for your attention.
The body becomes part of how you discern. It will tighten or feel uncomfortable around the things that are not meant for you.
Or it can come alive around something that asks you to become more fully yourself.
Connection is the moment something makes sense without needing to be argued into place.
You feel it.
Sometimes there are no words yet.
You just know.
Your beliefs, reactions, experiences and all the things you have already done form their own structure inside the way you think, move and make decisions.
This is Coding.
The beliefs you tested, the rules you undid, the space you created and the things you recognised start forming a different personal sequence.
Not an affirmation pasted over an old wound, but an obvious change in what you expect.
You will notice things differently, you won’t allow any others. And sometimes you will just stop chasing things without reason.
Your desires can change because the person doing the desiring has changed.
Goals that once consumed you can suddenly lose their charge and other possibilities become visible. Not necessarily because they only just appeared, but because your previous coding did not know how to recognise them.
This part is deeply personal.
Two people can receive exactly the same information and make entirely different realities from it.
The code is shaped by the individual body, history, desire and moment.
You are no longer trying to install somebody else’s map, instead you are starting to recognise your own.
You are learning the pattern of your own signal.
Slowly, your choices stop reinforcing the life you have outgrown and start making room for the life you are actually capable of living.
Then it moves. The internal change enters physical reality.
It wants to express itself and it needs form.
Something you can see, touch, experience or point to and say, that exists now because I made it.
You write the page.
Publish the work.
Build the room.
Leave the job.
Begin the conversation.
Make the object.
Name the method.
Create the boundary.
Buy the ticket.
This is the point where desire acquires consequences.
Creation is often far less cinematic than we imagine. Sometimes it is a collection of very plain, unglamorous actions completed while doubt continues running underneath them.
The inner voice rarely gives you the entire journey, it may only give you the next movement.
Then waits to see whether you will follow it.
I have spent the last few too many years working on this part.
I have created more than 50 brands, 78 courses, 32 PDFs, 17 apps and more images than I could reasonably count.
From the outside, this looks like an uncommitted sequence of almost nothing. And in some cases, where it was my own fear holding me back from allowing things to be fully expressed, the whole process showed me that instead.
Every single time, I learnt something new about myself.
I expanded somewhere or my knowledge changed.
I realised that what I had just built had already shown me the next thing. All of it became part of the process.
Each creation was an outward expression of something I was feeling, something I had moved through or something I needed to bring into form for myself and, sometimes, for other people too.
I followed the insight and let the creativity move.
This is how frequency becomes form.
Not by wanting harder, but by responding to what comes next, piece by piece.
Sometimes without knowing exactly why.
Creation is self trust made visible.
You might expect completion to finally deliver certainty.
Instead, it brings you here.
The Unknown.
This is the final point, and for me probably the most difficult one, because it asks you to release the identity that was built around striving toward the thing.
You have undone the old coding, followed the new signal and created something that did not exist before.
Now you have to stop trying to control exactly what happens to it.
Honestly, this can be the most uncomfortable and the most exciting part at exactly the same time.
You have done the work and now you can sit inside the endless possibility.
It is the moment you jump into the ocean and allow the current to take the weight.
The old version of you believed safety came from predicting the destination, but some futures can only be reached when you stop demanding what they look like.
The Unknown is where creation becomes larger than the creator and where the work meets the person who needed it.
Where one decision creates another sequence you could never have planned.
Where an ending becomes another Origin.
And this is why the nine points were never really just a method for finishing what you start, because finishing is not the end of anything.
Every idea that becomes real, changes the person who carries it.
Every act of creation, disrupts something in the internal order.
Every honest release, leaves enough space for something you could not hear before.
You begin with a concept ns you end with a different relationship to yourself.
Perhaps that is the real reason we resist completing the things that matter. We understand, somewhere beneath the excuses, that the work will not allow us to remain unchanged.
The abandoned draft, the delayed decision and the unnamed desire are not always waiting for more discipline.
Sometimes they are waiting for us just accept the disruption without question.
Then we enter the water without demanding that the current show us the entire ocean.
The first point is an awakening.
The final point is a surrender.
9POD | 9 Points of Disruption by Anna Chittick
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