How to heal after a breakup

  • Laugh at the outrageous shit your mother says

  • Listen to 80s pop & rock

  • Go running

  • Walk your dog

  • Wait for Adele’s next album to drop because you know it’s gonna be one of the albums that gets you through

  • Laugh at yourself

  • Start your days with B.S. by Jhené Aiko

  • Strength train

  • Take baths — throw a bath bomb in, why not?

  • Just figure out how to laugh

  • Make new friends

  • Go to therapy

  • Cry

  • Read books

  • Journal

  • Watch Ted Lasso

  • Get a complete fucking makeover including Botox, teeth whitening, and bleaching your hair

  • Cry some more

  • Pay bills and create a budget, but

  • Buy yourself something nice like a sick pair of leather boots

  • Schedule appointments with doctors you’ve put off for months or years

  • Masturbate

  • Meditate

  • Have the hard conversations you’ve put off for years, decades even

  • Dance and sing, it’s okay to not be good at either

  • Lean on friends when you’re in a panic spiral — the good ones are supportive but also give you tough love and encourage you to keep going

  • Eat ice cream…every day

  • Adopt a kitten

  • Work

  • Sleep, you prob need more than you’re getting

  • Don’t cook! If there’s no mess, you don’t have to clean!

  • Talk to your ex

  • Don’t talk to your ex

  • Don’t drink alcohol (yay feeling feelings)

  • Punch a punching bag

  • Buy a musical instrument that you won’t ever touch, but promise yourself you’ll start playing tomorrow

  • Drink lots of coffee, tea, and bubbly water

  • Nap

  • Travel, especially solo trips

  • Surf

  • Pay $80 for that Pay-Per-View fight because you love boxing

  • Listen to Hold On by Wilson Phillips on repeat

  • Completely give up caffeine, including all that coffee & tea you love to drink (your anxiety will thank you)

  • Practice gratitude daily

  • Help your mom organize her storage unit

  • Forgive yourself and your ex

  • Learn that acceptance is the key to happiness, or at least to not being dissatisfied

  • Realize your attachments… and maybe don’t hold onto them so tight

  • Might have to table the previous three and come back to them when you’re not in the throes of grief, anger, and fear

  • Ease up on B.S. by Jhené Aiko

  • Sit in the sun

  • Let time pass