If we are lucky, may we all meet people who face the world hand in hand with us.

Have you ever heard of the saying “marry a man without a Phoenix, marry a wife without a brother?”?

Recently, there is a debate in Qibo’s Theory: should a partner break up if he is a brother helping devil?

Among them, Zhengfang @ ran Gaoming’s viewpoint made many people applaud:

“What’s the purpose of falling in love? Isn’t it just for one person to treat you? The devil of helping younger brother is not necessarily good to you, but it must be good to her younger brother. Then why do you want to be her partner? Break up and be her younger brother! Making friends with her is a mobile merit box. Does the devil of helping younger brother really need love? Money!”

In addition, he also said that the devil and the Phoenix man are made for each other.

“What’s the golden sentence of helping the devil? I’m such a brother. What’s the principle of Phoenix man? I’m such a mother! Restrain each other, drag each other down, and be equal to each other!”

But @ Jiang Zhenyu pointed out the bitterness behind the so-called “helping the younger brother devil”:

“A good girl, how did she become a brother helping devil? Was she born a devil, so frightening? Her devil was not a real devil, but was attached to her.”

If your partner is Fu Di Mo, will you choose to break up?

01

There is a question: what kind of experience is it to have a “help brother devil” partner?

Netizen @ Qu Yidao said:

“Helping younger brothers” are mostly born in patriarchal families. Even if they get married and have children, they are born to live for their younger brothers.

Since childhood, they have often been taught that you are such a brother, you must be kind to her; Your brother is younger than you. You can’t let him be wronged.

Yes, there is a kind of helplessness, that is, everyone’s origin has no choice; There is a kind of sadness, a soul deliberately domesticated.

If there is a choice in life, who wants to be born with another person’s life?

Backstage received a private letter from a girl.

She has been in the family life of son preference since childhood. Her parents are very cold to her. She thought it was because she was not good enough and excellent enough that she could not be recognized by her parents.

But no matter how hard she tried, she never existed in her parents’ eyes.

And his brother’s pranks will make parents happy.

She was very sad and felt that she was an outsider in this family until her brother wanted a pair of limited edition sneakers for his birthday. She saved money and bought it for her brother. His brother happily praised her in front of his parents, and his parents rarely smiled at her.

At that moment, she felt in a trance that they were really a happy family of four.

Therefore, paying for her brother is the easiest way to get close to her parents, so when she was still in college, she contracted all the expenses of her brother and even planned to buy a house for her brother.

She said that at that time, she was not unwilling at all, and even felt very happy, because she felt that she was valuable and accepted.

Until she met someone she liked and realized for the first time what it was like to be loved.

With the help of her other half, she finally reconciled with her past self.

But such lucky girls are in the minority.

More people are powerless, even as partners, will have a deep sense of guilt.

Because she knows it’s not her fault to be born in such a family, but life can’t be so laissez faire.

Weighing the pros and cons, we can only let go.

As ran Gaoming said, “love is the reason you are together, but you still have the right to leave. Healing is the result we expect, but it should not be the responsibility of each other.”

02

Roman Roland said:

“In marriage, everyone has to pay and take back something. This is the law of supply and demand.”

The most criticized point of “helping brother devil” is:

She will pay, or even pay without a bottom line, go crazy, but the object she pays happens not to be in the marriage.

I have seen such a news:

A man in Shenzhen wanted to jump off a bridge and commit suicide after getting drunk. Fortunately, he was saved.

The reason why he can’t live is that his wife took his daughter’s life-saving money to buy a house for his brother.

It turned out that he and his wife’s 8-year-old daughter suffered from congenital heart disease. In order to treat his daughter, he has been working outside frugally and transferred the money to his wife’s account.

As a result, his daughter’s condition suddenly worsened and he was in urgent need of money for surgery. But when he went to the bank to withdraw money, he found that the 100000 yuan he had saved in two years was gone.

Asked the wife to know that she took the money to her brother to pay the down payment for the house.

One can imagine how big such a blow is.

A sister who can’t carry clearly and a brother who can’t do anything can be regarded as a combination of marriage objects.

Some fans have complained about their mother.

“I feel that my mother is the devil who helps my brother. Obviously, my family is not rich, but my uncle comes to my mother as soon as he has something to do. My cousin doesn’t work hard. I lost a lot of money in business. My mother made up for credit card and usury.

A few days ago, my cousin was getting married, and my uncle came to us to get the money. My father didn’t want to, and my mother was dying. I really don’t know how to live. “

Therefore, in order to avoid such a situation, many people will be cautious before marriage, and even overturn the girl with a brother.

After all, if you don’t want to meet the devil who helps your brother, the best way is to marry only the only daughter who doesn’t have a brother.

However, in doing so, we forget the most fundamental problem:

The man behind the “help brother devil” is the real “culprit”.

03

In fact, if you ask the same question in another way, you can easily find something wrong, such as:

Should a partner have a “sucking sister and ghost brother” break up?

Or another angle:

“What if my partner is a sucker?”

Instead of discussing whether a partner should break up with his brother, it’s better to let these men who hide behind the family and evade their responsibilities learn to stand on their own.

In addition, on this issue, we should refuse the double bidding. Don’t take the money of supporting the younger brothers and sisters, and turn around and blame your wife for subsidizing your mother’s family.

Of course, the most important thing to see is whether this brother is worth “helping”, and the premise is to have the ability and conditions to “help”.

Li Zi, who once played Zhao Min in the story of relying on heaven to kill the dragon, has also been criticized as “helping the younger brother devil”.

Lizi was born in a movie family, but her family is in a bad situation. Her father suffers from meningitis and deafness. Her hearing is only 20-30% and her eyesight is also very poor. She can only do odd jobs. The whole family mainly depends on her mother