We become freelancers to be “the boss” and have flexibility.

It’s the “ideal” job for mothers who can finally “have it all” and do it all. Unfortunately, that’s not how things work, and learning to keep the wheels running can take time and some extra night working hours.

Here’s what I’ve learned about freelancing and work-life balance in the past eight years.

Spoiler alert: This blog post will debunk some myths.

As soon as I landed my second client, I realized I was anything but the boss as a freelancer. I wanted to over-deliver and secure future work from both clients while making myself available full-time for my family. I worked at night, slept poorly, and became overwhelmed.

That’s what happens when you don’t know how to set boundaries.

And it hits you. You have two full-time jobs (the actual work + client management) and a rigid boss. You become the bookkeeper, the salesperson, the one who handles clients who don’t pay, and the cleaning lady. Plus, you must worry about sending invoices, networking, and taxes.

How do you fix it? Lower your expectations. Outsource. And set clear boundaries with existing and new clients. Furthermore, you need to develop soft skills like persuasion, collaboration, adaptability, and time management that enable you to find better clients and deliver a better customer experience.

Whenever anyone’s talking about freelancing mothers, they illustrate their materials with a happy mother holding happy kids while doing something at her computer. I’ve been doing this for many years, and it’s safe to say that this idyllic image can’t be further from the truth.

Here’s the thing: Whenever you go on a client call, your kid will want water or something to eat. In more complex scenarios, they’ll need to use the bathroom, watch their favorite cartoon, or throw a tantrum.

If you’re a parent, you’ll most likely have to schedule work based on your kids’ sleeping schedule. Plus, your program will adjust to new challenges every summer based on how old your kids are and how much you can rely on your partner and grandparents.

After understanding that chaos and freelancing don’t go well together, you’ll try scheduling — the holy grail of people who need to do more, better, and faster. I’ve learned the hard way that planning my day was easy, but sticking to the plan was a very different story. Nothing happens just because you write down tasks.

The good news is that scheduling works when you’re realistic, committed, and flexible.

If you want that work-life balance, you must make it part of your schedule and commit to not working when you’re not supposed to. It also means you don’t over-promise or take on extra work just because you can.

You might think of yourself as “just a freelancer,” but the government might have a different opinion. Doing your homework on what working independently means legally is in your best interest.

And, even if you’re a freelancer on paper, you must grow a CEO mindset. That’s because you must learn to develop your activity and gain stability. Fifty-nine percent of freelancers say they’re living paycheck to paycheck, which doesn’t have to be that way.

Another thing I’ve discovered about being a freelancer is that work-life balance comes when you no longer have to worry about bills or paying for your kids’ piano lessons. You need systems, regular clients, and consistent income from multiple sources to get there. The way to achieve all these is by learning to manage your work more as a CEO and less as someone who does the homework and goes home.

Once you become a full-time freelancer, you won’t be able to be present every hour of every day of your kids’ lives. The sooner you get used to this, the easier it becomes to manage professional and personal obligations without guilt or missed deadlines.

When I started making a consistent income, I accepted that I could hire a babysitter and work from home simultaneously. Asking for help and forgiving myself for missing playdates allowed me to be present in the moments that mattered without quitting anything.

This way, I can focus on work when necessary and be fully present with my family when everyone’s around and needs my attention.

Being a freelancer isn’t a perfect scenario. It has its ups and downs — pretty much like any other job. In some ways, I have it all, and that’s because I redefined “all” to make it realistic and achievable.

Freelancing taught me to be myself. I’ve built a system that enables me to grow, meet new people, and be financially independent — everything from my kitchen table. But I had to align my expectations with reality to make this possible.