Oh, here we go again—another executive order so dripping with bad faith, misdirection, and hollow grandstanding that it could be bottled and sold as snake oil. This isn’t about free speech. This isn’t about protecting the First Amendment. This is yet another partisan tantrum disguised as governance, a cynical ploy to rewrite history, weaponize victimhood, and undermine legitimate public discourse.

Let’s start with the blatant dishonesty in the premise. The order paints a fantasy world where the "previous administration" was some Orwellian censor, squashing dissent and forcing social media companies to bow to its authoritarian will. The reality? Private companies made independent decisions about content moderation—because that’s how capitalism works. The government did not “censor” speech in the way this order implies. In fact, the First Amendment applies to the government, not private entities. If Twitter or Facebook de-platformed someone for spewing conspiracy theories or dangerous misinformation, that was their decision. That’s not censorship—that’s business.

And let’s talk about this obsession with “misinformation” and “disinformation.” This executive order frames these terms as some nefarious excuse for government overreach when, in reality, misinformation and disinformation are real threats to democracy, public safety, and national security. Should we just ignore false claims about elections, pandemics, and global conflicts because someone’s “feelings” might be hurt if their posts get fact-checked? The sheer stupidity of this argument is breathtaking.

Now, let’s look at the hypocrisy. This order whines about how the government allegedly coerced social media companies to remove speech it didn’t like, but where was this commitment to “free speech” when officials pressured companies to take down content they found politically inconvenient? Where was this devotion to the First Amendment when lawmakers threatened to punish companies for moderating their platforms in ways they didn’t approve of? Suddenly, government interference is only bad if it’s being used against your side—but if it’s being used to silence people who disagree with you, well, that’s just fine, isn’t it?

And what about actual censorship—like book bans, restrictions on classroom discussions, and legislative efforts to dictate what journalists can report? Funny how this order doesn’t mention any of that. No, because this isn’t about free speech. It’s about power. It’s about playing the victim while actively undermining legitimate protections for speech and expression. It’s about pandering to a base that loves grievance politics more than actual governance.

But the real insult here is the laughably empty enforcement mechanism. The order grandly declares that the Attorney General must investigate past government actions and produce a report. And then what? What happens next? Oh, right—nothing. There’s no actual remedy, no consequence, no substantive enforcement mechanism. It’s all just political theatre—designed not to solve a problem but to create a talking point for cable news and social media outrage.

And in case anyone had any doubt about how unserious this all is, look at Section 4(c):
"This order is not intended to, and does not, create any right or benefit, substantive or procedural, enforceable at law or in equity by any party."

Translation? This entire thing is a sham. It has no teeth, no legal standing, and no real-world impact. It exists solely as a partisan publicity stunt, an excuse to feed an outrage cycle that distracts people from the issues affecting their lives.

At the end of the day, this isn’t about free speech. It’s about rewriting history, silencing critics, and gaslighting the public into believing that accountability is oppression. It’s the ultimate bad-faith move—a cynical, self-serving act of bureaucratic nonsense that has no place in a functioning democracy.