Oh, fantastic. Another lazy, bumper-sticker executive order pretending to be some grand doctrine of foreign policy. This is not strategy. This is not governance. This is an empty, brain-dead, nationalist platitude dressed up as a serious directive, except it contains no actual policy, no substance, and no meaningful course of action.

Let’s start with the blatant obviousness of it all. "America First"? Wow, what a revolutionary idea! It’s almost like every single administration in U.S. history has made America’s interests a priority—because that’s literally the job of the government. Do these people think past presidents were secretly working for Luxembourg? What exactly is being corrected here?

This executive order is so laughably vague that it doesn’t even attempt to define what “America First” actually means. Should we abandon alliances? Cut off foreign aid? Ignore global security threats? Kneecap diplomacy? Or does this just mean random, symbolic chest-thumping while continuing all the same foreign policies as before but with more performative patriotism?

Then we have Section 2, where the Secretary of State is instructed to "issue guidance bringing the Department of State’s policies, programs, personnel, and operations in line with an America First foreign policy." Oh really? What policies? What programs? What personnel? This is an entire directive based on nothing but vibes. No specifics, no metrics, no criteria for success—just a blank check for incompetence.

And let's be clear—this kind of empty nationalist posturing is not foreign policy. Foreign policy requires strategy, negotiation, and diplomacy. It requires navigating complex global relationships in a way that ensures long-term security, economic stability, and influence. This order, on the other hand, is a child's understanding of foreign affairs, a dumbed-down version of diplomacy where shouting “USA! USA!” is supposed to make trade deficits, security threats, and international conflicts magically disappear.

And what’s even more infuriating is that this accomplishes absolutely nothing. Section 3 all but admits that this order has no teeth, no legal impact, and no actual directive power. It straight-up says it "shall be implemented consistent with applicable law and subject to the availability of appropriations." Translation: This order means whatever you want it to mean, as long as it doesn’t actually change anything that would require real effort.

Then there’s Section 3(c), the classic legal disclaimer that might as well say: “This executive order is pure political theater and cannot be used to actually do anything enforceable.” It is hollow, meaningless drivel—a press release masquerading as policy.

At its core, this isn’t even an executive order. It’s a campaign slogan turned into government paperwork. It’s the kind of jingoistic fluff designed to make low-information voters feel good while changing absolutely nothing about how the United States actually conducts diplomacy. Because let’s face it—the world doesn’t work like a reality show, and foreign policy isn’t about who can wave the biggest flag.

The real tragedy here? Instead of issuing serious foreign policy directives that actually strengthen America’s standing, its alliances, and its economy, we get this brain-dead nationalism cosplay. We get a meaningless piece of paper that does nothing except inflate the egos of people who think foreign policy is just about “winning” without ever defining what that means.

If this order were a policy paper submitted in an international relations class, it would get an F for lack of substance. And yet, here it is—on official government letterhead, proof that performative nationalism has replaced actual leadership.