Imagine Jesus strolling back into town, not on a white horse with a halo, but as a rogue revolutionary with dusty sandals and a keen eye for hypocrisy. What’s he here to do? Not to condemn the gays—hell no. He’s here to call out the bullshit peddled by the sanctimonious pricks turning religion into a weapon.

Here’s the raw truth: Jesus never muttered a word about homosexuality. Not one. While these modern Pharisees are out there preaching hate under steeples, Jesus was the guy flipping tables on the religious elite who loved law more than people. His message? Radical, unconditional love. So, where in the hellfire and damnation do these bigots get off saying He’d judge anyone based on who they love?

If Jesus were here, he’d probably be the first to crash Pride—not to save souls, but to celebrate love in all its forms. Because, let’s face it, in His book, love was love. He’d be marching, banner in hand, alongside those the church tries to marginalize. Why? Because Jesus was an iconoclast, a true punk in robes, challenging norms and embracing all, especially those the world tried to shove to the margins.

And to those zealots using the Bible as a bat? Maybe it’s time they read it again, because the Jesus I know? He had zero time for their brand of narrow-mindedness. He called out the hypocrites, tore into the money-changers, and had dinner with the sinners and the outcasts. If you’re looking for a savior who discriminates, you’ve got the wrong guy.

So here’s the takeaway, straight from the gritty underbelly of theological critique: If your faith is more about judging than loving, you’re doing it all wrong. Jesus came to upset the status quo, not enforce it. Get with the program or get out of the way, because love, in all its forms, is here to stay. And that’s the gospel truth, sans the sugarcoating.