A Look Into the Grandiose Narcissism of Twin Flames Universe Cult Leader Jeffrey Ayan

Narcissist has been a buzzword popping up like dandelions all over social media and in therapists’ offices the past several years. It’s true that narcissism is real, but sometimes it’s over-inflated or misused in today’s culture of perpetuating misinformation over the web. With terms like* twin flame, empath* and energy vampire being ever more present in our collective consciousness, I think we should spend some time clarifying what these things really mean. For now, we can start with a discussion of narcissism.

In the case of true narcissism, one meets a clinical severity of self-absorption that disrupts their functioning in multiple life domains. Within their relationships is an exhausting pattern of idealization (“love bombing”) and devaluation (“discarding”). I don’t know how it feels for the narcissist, but I know it’s incredibly traumatizing for the individuals they abuse. Living with someone who is never wrong, doesn’t respond to your needs and sees you as a tool rather than an autonomous person is spiritually debilitating. 

The diagnostic criteria (DSM-5-TR) for narcissistic personality disorder are as follows:

• A preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

• A belief that they are special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions

• A need for excessive admiration

• A lack of empathy

• Interpersonally exploitative for their own gain

• Arrogance

• Sense of self-importance and entitlement 

• Sensitivity to criticism

Narcissists present as unaware of their mortal status and negatively impact those around them with their sense of entitlement. Those with NPD do not often seek psychological treatment as they are so often obtuse to their destructive actions, especially when they work to the narcissist’s advantage. The narcissist seems to lack any sense that there is a unique identity of the people with whom he associates. I see the narcissist as desiring those in his circle to be an extension of himself – supporting his ideals, mirroring his ambitions while denying their needs entirely. This is why we often see children of narcissists experiencing complicated psychological trauma as they grow into adulthood.

Delusions of Grandeur

One common type of delusion is the belief that one is a god or a divine being with magical gifts to share with others. This is one type of grandiose delusion. Not all people with delusions of grandeur are narcissistic just as many narcissists do not become psychotic. However, NPD is a mental health condition and thus tends to blend into other categories of mental traits like paranoia, mania and psychosis depending on the person’s susceptibility, stress levels and other factors. In Jeff’s case, there is grandiosity with a manic (extreme energy and self-esteem) and psychotic (break from reality) element to it. 

Some individuals describe their break from reality as a positive experience. Jeff likewise seemed to be enjoying his flight from the present and into his corrupt and deluded future. While I’m uncertain of Jeff’s life prior to his Hawaii “lifestyle” experiments, it seems from his blog postings during that era that his mental state indicated grandiose plans that have now come to morbid fruition. Jeff described his vision of being a millionaire business owner and spiritual mastermind and ever since he seems to have pursued his vision with ardent passion. 

The problem with fantastical plans is that reality often gets in the way of the fantasy elements of the grand vision. The dangerous element to Jeff’s unique mental status is the buildup of his narcissistic grandiosity to a delusional extreme. Jeff’s extroverted zest-for-life energy, self-absorption, low empathy and fantasy-based thinking all primed him towards becoming the spiritual guru with twisted, background motives of wealth, status and power – all things most important to the narcissist hiding behind the thin veneer of a fake Übermensch. 

Snake Oil Artistry

“I have my antenna up for snake oil salesmen”, says Rachel Bernstein, LMFT, a therapist to cult victims, when interviewed for a the Twin Flames podcast from Wondery in regards to Jeff’s online behaviors. I had the same thought as I browsed through the many hours of Jeff rambling on about his divine promises while he stands properly in a snazzy suit in front of the camera. I picture Jeff carting his trunk of snake oil concoctions to sell at exorbitant prices to vagrants and lost souls along the path of the western expansion:  “Ladies! Gentleman! Come one, come all to taste the elixir of the gods! For just a small fee, I promise you won’t regret taking a sip!” He pulls out all the bells and whistles, creating a festive sideshow and dazzling his audience. 

Perhaps a line of desperate souls wander up to his trunk full of tiny bottles of various tonics. Jeff promises true love ever-after, eternal riches, or a drink that will turn you into a god. The promises all sounded too good to be true, but Jeff’s customers were all weary from walking down the beaten path for so long in search of an oasis. Before long, Jeff had a group of weary followers trailing behind him as he drifted down the path in search of more customers with whom to peddle his trickery. 

The Magic Elixir Sideshow Ends

Those who drink Jeff’s magical elixirs enter into a trance, holding up mirrors to the man they now called their god. Jeff built a giant pyramid on their backs as they continued to meander trance-like, turning emptiness into gold and holding a mirror to their savior who delivered promises beyond their wildest dreams. Blinded by his own godlike appearance in the hundreds of mirrors shining back at him, Jeff fell off of his golden pyramid and into the abyss. 

Our psychic defenses can only sustain our perception of the world for so long if our environment does not match the fantastical theme of what we perceive to be the truth. Eventually, a megalomaniac in hot pursuit of his warped vision hits the ground like Icarus following his foolish dream of reaching the sun. His fragile wax wings melting, he careens fast into the sea. I wonder what his thoughts will be as he reflects upon his crumbling empire. 

Jeff is only one of many grandiose narcissists who go onto become cult leaders or corrupt business owners. His particular brand of quackery and grifting is personal for me as a professional in the field of mental health who has seen the aftereffects of narcissistic abuse many times. It takes a lot of space, compassion and time to heal from the deep wounds that are left in the wake of the destabilizing force of the grandiose narcissist’s manipulations.

**A former TFU member gives the following tips for exiting a cult: **

• Don’t isolate yourself

• Take your time

• Find a therapist

• Call a hotline

A Look Into the Grandiose Narcissism of Twin Flames Universe Cult Leader Jeffrey Ayan

Narcissist has been a buzzword popping up like dandelions all over social media and in therapists’ offices the past several years. It’s true that narcissism is real, but sometimes it’s over-inflated or misused in today’s culture of perpetuating misinformation over the web. With terms like* twin flame, empath* and energy vampire being ever more present in our collective consciousness, I think we should spend some time clarifying what these things really mean. For now, we can start with a discussion of narcissism.

In the case of true narcissism, one meets a clinical severity of self-absorption that disrupts their functioning in multiple life domains. Within their relationships is an exhausting pattern of idealization (“love bombing”) and devaluation (“discarding”). I don’t know how it feels for the narcissist, but I know it’s incredibly traumatizing for the individuals they abuse. Living with someone who is never wrong, doesn’t respond to your needs and sees you as a tool rather than an autonomous person is spiritually debilitating. 

The diagnostic criteria (DSM-5-TR) for narcissistic personality disorder are as follows:

• A preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

• A belief that they are special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions

• A need for excessive admiration

• A lack of empathy

• Interpersonally exploitative for their own gain

• Arrogance

• Sense of self-importance and entitlement 

• Sensitivity to criticism

Narcissists present as unaware of their mortal status and negatively impact those around them with their sense of entitlement. Those with NPD do not often seek psychological treatment as they are so often obtuse to their destructive actions, especially when they work to the narcissist’s advantage. The narcissist seems to lack any sense that there is a unique identity of the people with whom he associates. I see the narcissist as desiring those in his circle to be an extension of himself – supporting his ideals, mirroring his ambitions while denying their needs entirely. This is why we often see children of narcissists experiencing complicated psychological trauma as they grow into adulthood.

Delusions of Grandeur

One common type of delusion is the belief that one is a god or a divine being with magical gifts to share with others. This is one type of grandiose delusion. Not all people with delusions of grandeur are narcissistic just as many narcissists do not become psychotic. However, NPD is a mental health condition and thus tends to blend into other categories of mental traits like paranoia, mania and psychosis depending on the person’s susceptibility, stress levels and other factors. In Jeff’s case, there is grandiosity with a manic (extreme energy and self-esteem) and psychotic (break from reality) element to it. 

Some individuals describe their break from reality as a positive experience. Jeff likewise seemed to be enjoying his flight from the present and into his corrupt and deluded future. While I’m uncertain of Jeff’s life prior to his Hawaii “lifestyle” experiments, it seems from his blog postings during that era that his mental state indicated grandiose plans that have now come to morbid fruition. Jeff described his vision of being a millionaire business owner and spiritual mastermind and ever since he seems to have pursued his vision with ardent passion. 

The problem with fantastical plans is that reality often gets in the way of the fantasy elements of the grand vision. The dangerous element to Jeff’s unique mental status is the buildup of his narcissistic grandiosity to a delusional extreme. Jeff’s extroverted zest-for-life energy, self-absorption, low empathy and fantasy-based thinking all primed him towards becoming the spiritual guru with twisted, background motives of wealth, status and power – all things most important to the narcissist hiding behind the thin veneer of a fake Übermensch. 

Snake Oil Artistry

“I have my antenna up for snake oil salesmen”, says Rachel Bernstein, LMFT, a therapist to cult victims, when interviewed for a the Twin Flames podcast from Wondery in regards to Jeff’s online behaviors. I had the same thought as I browsed through the many hours of Jeff rambling on about his divine promises while he stands properly in a snazzy suit in front of the camera. I picture Jeff carting his trunk of snake oil concoctions to sell at exorbitant prices to vagrants and lost souls along the path of the western expansion:  “Ladies! Gentleman! Come one, come all to taste the elixir of the gods! For just a small fee, I promise you won’t regret taking a sip!” He pulls out all the bells and whistles, creating a festive sideshow and dazzling his audience. 

Perhaps a line of desperate souls wander up to his trunk full of tiny bottles of various tonics. Jeff promises true love ever-after, eternal riches, or a drink that will turn you into a god. The promises all sounded too good to be true, but Jeff’s customers were all weary from walking down the beaten path for so long in search of an oasis. Before long, Jeff had a group of weary followers trailing behind him as he drifted down the path in search of more customers with whom to peddle his trickery. 

The Magic Elixir Sideshow Ends

Those who drink Jeff’s magical elixirs enter into a trance, holding up mirrors to the man they now called their god. Jeff built a giant pyramid on their backs as they continued to meander trance-like, turning emptiness into gold and holding a mirror to their savior who delivered promises beyond their wildest dreams. Blinded by his own godlike appearance in the hundreds of mirrors shining back at him, Jeff fell off of his golden pyramid and into the abyss. 

Our psychic defenses can only sustain our perception of the world for so long if our environment does not match the fantastical theme of what we perceive to be the truth. Eventually, a megalomaniac in hot pursuit of his warped vision hits the ground like Icarus following his foolish dream of reaching the sun. His fragile wax wings melting, he careens fast into the sea. I wonder what his thoughts will be as he reflects upon his crumbling empire. 

Jeff is only one of many grandiose narcissists who go onto become cult leaders or corrupt business owners. His particular brand of quackery and grifting is personal for me as a professional in the field of mental health who has seen the aftereffects of narcissistic abuse many times. It takes a lot of space, compassion and time to heal from the deep wounds that are left in the wake of the destabilizing force of the grandiose narcissist’s manipulations.

**A former TFU member gives the following tips for exiting a cult: **

• Don’t isolate yourself

• Take your time

• Find a therapist

• Call a hotline