I took a photo of Miley Cyrus. So it's sometime in the early 2010s and I am shooting a lot of "cool" parties with guest lists that had actual celebrities but also these fake celebrities that I was expected to photograph and so often it was like a DJ who is only known because they dated a celebrity. "Oh you gotta go photograph that guy because he used to date Taylor Momsen." It started kinda becoming a meme to me and I started joking about how I needed to date a celebrity for a while just so people would know me as "the guy who used to date ______". I decided the blank for me was going to be Kesha. She was famous, but like not that famous so maybe I had a chance and she seemed like a good punchline to the bit. One day I was hanging out with my friend Lola and I suddenly remembered that she grew up with Kesha and so I explained this dumb idea I had and asked her if she could hook me up with her. She told me that she kinda hated Kesha and that they all called her Ketchup growing up which honestly, rude, but she had another idea. "You should date my friend Miley Cyrus. She just broke up with her boyfriend and I think she would like you." "The child from Hannah Montana? I think I'm good." A few months later Cannonball came out and she was the biggest artist in the world and I realized I had really blown my opportunity to make out with a celebrity. Although in retrospect she was like 20 at the time and I was in my early 30s so my instincts were probably correct. But yo, shout out Lola. She was such a rad person even though she was super religious and didn't believe in evolution or dinosaurs.