I kicked off my New Year’s resolution a little early this year—because why wait for January when your jackets are staging a mutiny in December? The grand (albeit loosely cobbled-together) plan involves eating healthy and exercising, all because the arms of my favorite jackets decided they’ve had enough of me. At first, I suspected the dry cleaner, but alas, the leather jacket I haven’t even looked at in months also refused to cooperate. This clearly wasn’t a conspiracy—it was a sign.
Projects underway
So here’s the big idea: streamline eating and cut out the bad stuff. By “bad stuff,” I mean Trader Joe’s gummies, ice cream, In-N-Out milkshakes, and, maybe, the occasional burger. (Okay, let’s not get crazy—nobody said everything bad at once.) It’s either that, or I brace for my doctor’s inevitable “I told you so” as she cheerfully hands me a prescription for Ozempic with a side of smug satisfaction.
Day 1 of Operation Jacket Redemption: bought a scale, did Pilates, and went on a hike. Feeling virtuous but also mildly alarmed at how long this will take. Day 2: did Pilates again, which is to say, I barely survived stretching and am already questioning my life choices. If this is a preview of 2024, send thoughts and prayers, It's going to be a long year.
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