it often feels as though i am trying to assess so many things the voices in the mind sound like echos at times when they are not there i think i put them there i do not know how to make this sound not like a psychological issue it sounds similar to other conditions but is not them the jolts my environment my reality in which i live something is strange i have vowed to not go on X anymore i think this makes it worse its like they have something as crazy as that sounds my hope is that it doesnt sound like some social media story gone bad "man uses X and finds himself hearing voices and getting jolted" my hope is that it is not played into that i am being truthful i am doing what is right but yet these things, these horrible thought experiments that have been echoed that what feels like i have been monitored the voices inside the mind the disdain and things i would never say the judgment for such things i do not understand i keep telling myself dont have disdain dont just say things in my mind to upset or assert control over my mind but i do fail at this the dilemma is i know i am not this so then then we get into a plea but should not plea for something that i know to be false i do not wish pain upon anyone for this i do not wish harm or pain upon myself for any of this and i guess this is what gets me because i am jolted and fucked with so then with this i can go spinning spitting on the face, the face that is mine as i have come to describe it. then there is the white bear and my memory of what bothers and then white bear again and the loop of it all whenever i speak of this please take it seriously as am i talking about what i am firm to believe is a implant, this is not a code for i do not fuck with that i am open so then i feel they should be open as well the blame is pitted against me i feel and more is just added there is so many aspects and sides to all of this disdain, white bear, autonomy, free will, ethics, pressure, molding, google "hostage interrogation relationship psychological effects" and you will find more i have no idea how i have retained what i have left of me to be honest but i am here waiting for them to explain it all waiting for them to explain why, the how, and when, as it should be for this is the right thing i will keep an eye on the mail box and the session id and email i am only on here now nowhere else just documenting this i mean is it also not a worry that i have not received any messages about someone with equipment to test such thing to see where the jolts come from with a simple external implant device to see where in the brain these jolts are happening is it odd that i have not received any messages or reply about the @commonpace had the same checkmark as noland who is apart of neuralink again i place this letter with the others placing their letters that which they think are important as well

there has to be someone who thinks this is not right someone