Hi I'm AD, I want to log my daily feelings and thoughts to the cyber space.
Hi I'm AD, I want to log my daily feelings and thoughts to the cyber space.
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I suspect my depression isn’t from the work. It must be to some degree, but maybe there are other things.
I hate it when people don’t listen to me because I would eat myself from the inside. I hate it when I’m not the most shiny person in the room because being mediocre sucks. I don’t feel respect at work.
Obviously I’m not good enough, and might never be good enough in crypto world as I joined the party too late. They look down on me for a reason. I wasn’t even aware of Curve and Uniswap when it first launched. And most of them were there already.
But I’m depressed because I feel there’s no hope for my life, recently I feel like my future has been written and sealed, I mean, “this is it”, my life told me. Even if I’m 34 yo, I always felt there’s room for me to do whatever I want, but not anymore.
Which is ridiculous. I have a decent salary, in the UK if you get £150k annually you shouldn’t be worried at all. The thing is, I basically swap my salary (in USDC) directly into BTC and ETH, and now it’s down bad. The income I made last year just poof, all gone! For now.
And the fact I don’t have a rich family or anyone I can rely on makes me anxious. I understand bear comes and go (really?) and I’m still making the good salary, I could’ve just keep it…however, that’s not what I’m doing, I still swap as I want to lower my average buy price.
Am I silly? In crypto you normally are dumb or smart just for the time being. I’m being dumb now in speculation of being smart some day in the future. But who knows? The Tornado Cash sanctions, Fed rate, etc.
Today is relatively peaceful. Got some time for soul searching and found the blurry answer. Maybe I’ll be fine when the bear markets ends (probably in 2024 and I hope I haven’t committed suicide before that).
I suspect my depression isn’t from the work. It must be to some degree, but maybe there are other things.
I hate it when people don’t listen to me because I would eat myself from the inside. I hate it when I’m not the most shiny person in the room because being mediocre sucks. I don’t feel respect at work.
Obviously I’m not good enough, and might never be good enough in crypto world as I joined the party too late. They look down on me for a reason. I wasn’t even aware of Curve and Uniswap when it first launched. And most of them were there already.
But I’m depressed because I feel there’s no hope for my life, recently I feel like my future has been written and sealed, I mean, “this is it”, my life told me. Even if I’m 34 yo, I always felt there’s room for me to do whatever I want, but not anymore.
Which is ridiculous. I have a decent salary, in the UK if you get £150k annually you shouldn’t be worried at all. The thing is, I basically swap my salary (in USDC) directly into BTC and ETH, and now it’s down bad. The income I made last year just poof, all gone! For now.
And the fact I don’t have a rich family or anyone I can rely on makes me anxious. I understand bear comes and go (really?) and I’m still making the good salary, I could’ve just keep it…however, that’s not what I’m doing, I still swap as I want to lower my average buy price.
Am I silly? In crypto you normally are dumb or smart just for the time being. I’m being dumb now in speculation of being smart some day in the future. But who knows? The Tornado Cash sanctions, Fed rate, etc.
Today is relatively peaceful. Got some time for soul searching and found the blurry answer. Maybe I’ll be fine when the bear markets ends (probably in 2024 and I hope I haven’t committed suicide before that).
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