“Good Grief!”…

Honoring the sacred and beautiful art of the Grieving Process.

Aloysious holds the “Grief card. “ Image on card face is a sprig of white flowers in a small pile of dirt covered in a glass dome. Three staggered white text boxes appear with bold black outlining displaying the following text from top to bottom: “RELEASE” in red ink, “Grief” followed by “Cycles” in black.

Grieving as a process is not linear.Grief takes its own time to pass and can be down-right unpredictable.

Many of us will come to know that it can and with no regard to our current circumstances, present itself in cascading waves.

For me Grieving is a process of tilling, of turning over and creating space for transformation, and rebirth.

Today I grieve over the “Norms” that I have lost in my life. Special thanks to Covid-19 and the collective inability to acknowledge the meaning of the BLM movement; my whole life feels like its been flipped upside down and scattered all about.

Every routine I created and counted on to maintain my sanity has collapsed before my very eyes. My whole world is changing, and I know I have to follow suit.

With the dramatically changing circumstances of my environment, I begin to start over. But before I can, …I must weep.

I cry real big tears as I remember what it was like to live in a world where I held, what I believe to be mild fears.

Today my fears feel gargantuan, and I cry hard for them. It is in this practice of grieving that I will allow these tears and their companion; sorrow, to move through me…

…I will do this for as long as it takes.

Sorrow can be washed away, I know this to be true because It’s shift can be felt upon receiving adequate attention.

I tell my daughter when she’s trying to appear socially “tough” and push down her tears that the toughest thing she can do is learn to let them to happen. I say things like:

“You’ll fart a lot if you don’t cry when your sad…Pretty sure it’s called emotional constipation. All those emotions have to go somewhere, do you really want them to come out of your bum?”

She doesn’t believe my constipation line but she does seem to see the overall value in us learning how to let go. So we laugh a lot but we also give each other permission to cry.

Child in hospital gown rests their hand and head upon the shoulder of their parent, eyes closed and at ease. Parent is “All teeth” Smiling and appears to not know where to look when taking a selfie.

In our family we believe it’s important to support these big feelings as they rise and we let them flow freely.

As we continue to navigate our internal and external worlds we acknowledge that it’s perfectly normal to have feelings and expressing them is highly encouraged.

Aloysious looks through a large green fan leaf, sun kisses their only visible eye, they are happy.

I’m learning how to ask for help and advocate for myself.

I do believe my voice matters. I’ve learned so much from others and my friends believe my shares have value and I believe them. Every shared story, book, article or zine I picked up has allowed me to dig deeper into myself.

I’ve come to identify as a Queer Polyamorous Autigender & Veteran of Color who is also AUTISTIC AS FVCK (even if you can’t visibly notice) That’s a label I’m feeling pretty comfortable leaning into and I trust it may evolve as I continue to learn more about myself.

Thanks’ for making time to drop in with a bit of my story. -A