Good morning, Vietnam. Today I'm trying to do things that are right in my hand. I'm going to be writing with my voice. I'm just talking.

It's funny, I was just talking for a while And I realized that I have this habit of explaining myself. It's funny, I explain myself even when I'm not talking to anyone and I have no intention of ever showing this to anyone. It's amazing how deeply I feel that I have to explain myself. So, I... and I certainly don't want to do that here because that's just like a level of delusion I can no longer tolerate from myself. So, I'm just talking to myself. I'm just talking to the world, God, whatever's out there. And I'm just saying what I want. I want a family. I would love at least three kids, maybe more. I would love... to do that with a wife, where our relationship gets better over time and we both want to fulfill each other's needs. I want to be able to with... I want to be able to support the family... extremely well... I want to have the time... be able to have time... to raise my kids properly... or at least in the best way that I... I can, so I want to be able to have the time for that... and I want to have financial freedom... while I'm raising them... so that they get that version of me... that doesn't have to be spending all day every day... working... That said, I do want to have an exceptional work life. I feel... I don't know, I don't know... I feel that I have... the skills and ability to do something... valuable for the world. I don't have a responsibility... but I believe it's who I am... and so I'm conscious and I'm looking in that direction... I'm looking for those opportunities... for what I am and what I could be... my view is that everything will be fine, certainly, without me... and everything is fine in general... I think it would be cool to see what humans are capable of and how far the story goes. But it's not something that I think has to happen or anything like that, because I think we die. I think humanity eventually dies. Like everything else, I think there's an expiration date. But that doesn't mean we can't enjoy it and can't do tons of really cool things. And I think... I want to participate in that.

I don't know, yeah, I think it's... When I think about it, like, damn, it's so cool. Like, I just walked out onto my balcony and like, holy shit. Look at this little fucking world out here. Like, what the fuck, dude? It's so beautiful. So cool, so interesting. I wanna see what I can do. I wanna see what we can do. Might as well, you know? We've got this time. Energy. Freedom of thought. I'm going to go see what's out there. See what I can get done, see what I can experience. I really like experiencing things, new things. Peace out. Okay, so... What else? What do I want? That was pretty general. So more specifically, for a woman, what is she like? She's smart, funny, beautiful. I have to think she's beautiful. I have to think she's just one of the most beautiful people in the world. That's something that I always felt like I was shallow for wanting or needing. I need to think that... I don't think it has to be like pure physical. It definitely doesn't have to be. It's definitely a package. But the physical part I definitely discounted how much I needed that. I thought I could work with anything, roughly. And I definitely can't. I have to be... It has to be at a certain place. And then the rest is also just as important. They definitely just can't be pretty. I can't be their only thing. I've moved my mind. Interacting with someone like that for the rest of my life. They need to be smart, but... Smart in the way that they live their life. They don't necessarily need to be an intellectual. I think I honestly discount my intellectualism significantly. I think it's mostly wheels spinning. So... Yeah, I don't think that... Someone who knows how to make a home, home. Someone who knows about feelings and emotions. And can create, you know, positive experiences. You know, a little bit of a... a little bit of a wizard, witch, like that, who's just lovely to be around. There's a lot of love. I think that's it. Maybe that's the most important part. I just know how to create love. And share love. And appreciate things. And see the beauty in things. That's what I want, so that I can focus on our physical reality, our physical life. What we are, what we're doing, not everything that we're doing, but how we're situated in the world. I want to focus on that, I think I'm good at that. Yeah, I'm fucking really good at it. So... Yeah... Let's do that. Let's play that game. For me. Yeah. I think things are going really, really well. You know, all things considered. A lot needed to be learned, still. I feel that I know what I know. And my training is completed. I'm ready. Not that I... You know, I don't have more to learn, and I won't keep learning. Obviously I will. I'm fucking... But like, yeah, I'm almost addicted to just keeping learning. And, yeah. It's time to really test myself now in the world. Feel that comfortable in who I am. My possibilities. Comfortable if nothing happens, if I die. You know, I really feel like I've been going flat out. You know, my body physically needed me to just shut down this year, but I just like was going... too hard, and a lot of it was I was going too hard at the wrong things. Trying to change people. Due to a deep insecurity. It's almost laughable now. Some of the ways in which I was orientated towards the world. Just so silly. I can't believe I thought that was ever going to work. Why? I'm just like, why was I doing those things? What am I doing? I just, gosh, I need to regularly ask myself why I'm doing some of the things I'm doing. And... if it's making a difference... at all. Yeah, so I'm definitely making the transition from... yes, this absorber of information and knowledge to someone who lacks confidence in themselves and needs everyone to agree with him to someone who knows what they want so clearly, sees the best possible options on the path forward, can articulate them clearly, can see what's needed to get there, pull those people and resources together and effectively support getting there. Being unemotional in the execution, emotional in the reasons, in the why about the execution, unemotionally. Get it done. I'm gonna say that again. Transitioning The best product for the market out there in the future and knows the best path on how to get there, which mostly includes bringing in the best people. But only if, and only learning things and only focusing on information intake if they are supportive of arriving at the destination. Instead of being like... what I've been doing, which is observing all information for all possible destinations based on the opinion and the whims of everyone related to the industries and things that are adjacent to the things that I want to do. So I just need to get continually clear on what exactly I am looking for, and who can help, and what's needed. What do I want, who can help, and what's needed. That's it. We just run at that. We just go as hard as we can at that. That's it. That's what we fucking go for. Everything else, literally, does not matter. In terms of work stuff. Family stuff is different. Family stuff, I need to let go. I need to put this year behind me. I need to put the disappointments behind me. I need to put the truths that I've realized behind me. And see what's best for everyone moving forward. I need to be a source of love, a source of reason, a source of support. I need to be someone that people can count on. And... a beacon of help and love. Yeah, I think of my family, it's love. Love, general sense of someone who loves them unconditionally. Someone that they can count on emotionally and mentally. nd I'm going to give you a little bit of a tour of the area. And I think material support comes third. So it's love, emotional... Love, I guess love and emotional support, tactical, mental support in terms of strategy. And... And then, yeah, material support. I think material support I've got to put third, because it really is the least important, except in emergency-type situations.