Employing a range of chants, sonorous gongs, gestures and other ‘xenobuddhist’ techniques Schwarz led the audience through some of the market channelling procedures

he uses when training stock- and money-brokers to ‘clear’ trading behaviour. "... You are feeling ever more relaxed ... floating in empty cyberspace ... Eliminate your own ideas."

This was the last distinct phrase our correspondent can remember (despite subsequent regression-hypnosis). Her account of what followed

remains both garbled and mystifyingly incomplete.

There once was a girl named Charlotte Fang

Who had a very strange quirk:

She would only date guys

With extremely long ties,

No matter how much they stank.