04
[a fairy forgetting the pixie dust can't fly before free falling]

Let go of those who tore you apart from the past.
Let go of those who tried to steal or eat up your heart.
Let go of what you don't belong all along.

poor little fairy,
you just forgot about the pixie dust in your pocket
after such a long journey.

They made a golden heart turn bitter when they didn't have to
because they also lost all the pixie dust they once had.

'Pathetic. Pretentious. Paltry-minded.'
you looked at your old younger self
holding these negative emotions that
the others once threw at you
while you fluttered your eyelashes.

None of that would matter anymore
as you looked at the ant
crawling down
your handkerchief.

Yet you still had to let all these poems out
so that your emotions were expressed
and your energies from the past would flow out and away.

So you were being clear with that little old self...
'okay, we are not victims anymore, but I'd love to know your back story.'
'I'm not gonna be like the others.'
'I value each and every of your opinion.'
'I treasure you, put you at the spot above them all.'
'I wouldn't condemn you or try to control you in making decisions.'
'I love you however way you are as a whole.'
'I know it's hard to believe, but just know that from your future self.'

There,
your present self
goes and peeps at that dark energy that has to be released.
Actually, you don't have to control who you could be too.
No, I mean YOU, your writing self too.

So, you pulled out villains in your diaries
that could form a deck of cards.

You tore their broken stereotypes apart,
yelling 'idgaf about your limited beliefs' in ways you didn't recognise.
yikes... was that even you?

'emotion can be my power!'

'normalise & humanise emotions!'

'I overthink at the most suitable times!'

'I can multitask & I am enjoying all of these all at once!'

'I just know that I am'

wow...
Okay, but if there really happened to have some villains in some stories...

Just like most of these films,
every villain had a painful back-story?
Harley Quinn?
Sylvie as Loki?
Credence Barebone?
But,
were these their real intentions to hurt the others?
But,
even if not, how do were they not excuses to hurt one another?
But,
since they're the cause of the unnecessary negative loops in our society, why were people kept on doing or being them?

We could heal them, right?
We could heal them all.
We could change that, right?
It's okay to just let us be ourselves.
We could at least do something, right?
It's okay to not too, actually.

But, you didn't think of it as such back then...
So...
as you went to change,
you remembered the way they look at you
with their tilted glasses,
ignorant brains,
and pointy noses.

they told you
'dear kid, reality would break your dreams one day!'
you shook it off 'cause you felt like an old soul,
leaving them with a little pixie dust
they forgot what they had,
at your most rebellious times.

you're saying
don't 'dear kid' me in your diaries
while you
flew away
flapping your wings as a fairy
like a pro, like a master, like a queen.

if they gave their crowns to the others,
at least you had your Grandma who gave hers to you.
Oh, and you're giving your one and only crown to yourself.
You are always and forever
special to your one true self.

you said:
'Trust me, dear self,
you don't have to care about anything or anyone
that are not suitable for you at all.
Even if it might be of good intention from some points,
even if you might not be able to control sometimes,
just let go of everything
that's not yours at all.'

You didn't have to do it with a broken heart.
You didn't have to.
You didn't.
You don't.
But you did.

'Thank you for doing this,'
said the Brain in hushed tones to the heart.

People were asking questions
and
seeking for answers that they've expected
in their minds.
There were no rights and wrongs in these,
but some of them just wonder why.

The spiritual gurus emphasised the 'where'.
The movie makers emphasised the 'who'.
You used to emphasise the 'why'.
Parents love to emphasise the 'how'.
Timekeepers emphasised the 'when'.
The universe loves to emphasise the 'what'.

Yet, you took out a little yacht
and sailed through the sea of all these answers
to seek your sunshine and rainbow
after the rain
for just a short while

at least it's enough to feel great
before the next cycle of seeing the sunshine again.

Before you fell,
the yacht is in the middle of the ocean
felt as if
everything else in the world
had fallen apart in ways that didn't matter to you.

You were so optimistic.

'It's okay.
Just let the waves crash in the ways they love.
I'll be me.
They'll be them.
I am me.
I love me.
Just let me sleep before I have to show you
what happened
for the very last time, please.'

Lovely poets,
Taylor Swift,
someone we'll meet only the people
that would see us as the special existence
that no one else could replace
in the ways that we love.
I mean,
not just the ways we're used to,
but in the ways that they know and love us
for being us.
Here's a little pixie dust for you
and just for you too.

'If you hear me one day,
take me to the castle made of flowers
in the middle of the magical big flower.

A place that
I'll always remember that
I have pixie dust.

A place that
I always feel loved
as myself.'

Other poems here.

'let the lights of love
shine through
each and every dark corner'

with love,
૮ℓเσɳα Chee Pui Khei 徐𣳽琪,
creating mental health tech at toplove.tech,
gathering resources at mentalhealthengineering.com public squad