曾听过这么一句话：
“一个人的脸，就是外在的皮囊。而真正决定一个人形象的则是另一张脸：教养。”
“A person’s face is an external vessel. What really determines a person’s image is another face: breeding.”
好看的皮囊千篇一律，有趣的灵魂却是万里挑一。
Good-looking skin is one in a million, interesting soul is one in a million.
说穿了，一个人的灵魂，也是涵养的表现。
To put it bluntly, a person’s soul, but also the performance of self-cultivation.
因为细节里藏着修养，而修养又滋润着灵魂。
Because in the detail hides the accomplishment, but the accomplishment is moistening the soul.
Of course, when a person experience the “Benefits”brought by the upbringing, will be more willing to upgrade their vision, the pattern.
当然，当一个人经历了“利益”带来的教养后，会更愿意提升自己的视野、模式。
一个人有多少的修养，通常就能够展现出多少的魅力。
How much self-cultivation a person has, usually can show how much charm.
一个人有多少修养，往往就能显示出多少魅力。
当然，当一个人体验到了教养所带来的“好处”，就会更加情愿去提升自己的眼界、格局。
同时，眼界和格局，又反过来影响着一个人的教养，渐而形成了一种涵养。
At the same time, vision and pattern, and in turn affect a person’s upbringing, and gradually formed a self-cultivation.
Breeding makes a man humble
教养使人谦卑
因此，我们可以说: 一个人的力量，隐藏在教养中。
因此，我们可以这么说：一个人的强大，藏在教养里。
Therefore, we can say: a person’s strength, hidden in the upbringing.
1
教养使人谦逊
Breeding makes a man humble
一个真正有教养的人总是能够平静地与自己相处。
真正有教养的人，总是能够做到心平气和地跟自己相处。
A really well-bred person is always able to get along with himself calmly.
因为人与人之间的联系，是基于彼此的三种观点。
因为人与人之间的联系，是基于彼此之间的三观。
Because the connection between people, is based on each other’s three views.
Because the connection between people, is based on each other’s three views.
只有受过基础教育的人才能与他人交流，共同工作。
只有具备基本教养的人，才能同其他人交流沟通，相处共事。
Only those who have a basic education can communicate with others and work together.
Just think, if a person even basic communication education are not, every person on the slander, abuse, slander, ridicule, derogatory.
试想，一个人若是连基本的交往教养都没有，逢人就诋毁、谩骂、中伤，嘲讽、贬斥。
随着时间的推移，怎么会有人愿意和这样的人相处呢？
久而久之，怎能有人愿意跟这样的人相处？
随着时间的推移，怎么会有人愿意和这样的人相处呢？
Over time, how can anyone be willing to get along with such a person?
Over time, how can anyone be willing to get along with such a person?
这样的人，在生活中注定要被疏远、被拒绝。
这类人，在生活里注定是会遭人疏离、唾弃的。
Such a person, in life is destined to be alienated, spurned.
And these people even in a sad situation, no one will feel pity, because such a person is typical of their grief, anger, do not argue.
而这些人哪怕陷入悲苦的境地里，也不会有人心生怜悯，因为这类人就是典型的哀其不幸，怒其不争。
On the contrary, a real self-contained, educated people, even in the reality of no friends, on weekdays also like to go it alone.
但这并不影响他们轻松接触他人，甚至更多的人愿意探索和跟随他。
反之，一个真正有涵养、有教养的人，哪怕在现实里没有什么朋友，平日里也喜欢独来独往。
But it does not affect their easy access to others, and even more people are willing to explore and follow him.
但并不影响他们很容易得到他人的好感，甚至越来越多的人甘愿去探索、追随他。
这就是人格和智慧的魅力，可说到底，也是教养的力量。
Confucius said: “The Gentleman learned in the text, about the ceremony.”
子曰：“君子博学于文，约之以礼。”
一个绅士不仅要博学，更重要的是要有礼貌。
If a person even the most basic moral cultivation are not, how to achieve popular, convincing people?
A gentleman should not only be erudite, but more importantly, be courteous.
君子非但要博学，更重要的还是要做到知礼。
A gentleman should not only be erudite, but more importantly, be courteous.
Therefore, we all need to know the benefits of education, more need to do how to train a whole body of education.
一个人若是连最基本的道德修养都没有，又如何做到得人心，服人意？
故，我们都需要知道教养的益处，更需要做到如何去练就一身的教养。
Therefore, we all need to know the benefits of education, more need to do how to train a whole body of education.
In fact, education in reality, not only can not pretend to come out, it is not easy to learn.
当我们真正理解了孤独的力量，我们就会意识到无论何时何地与自己和谐相处的重要性。
Self-discipline to Polish, think, reflect and sum up, but also to do a deep heart to be alone, thoroughly feel some.
它是在人们面前的克制与克制，也是在人们面前的自律与执着。
其实，教养在现实里，非但装不出来，更是无法轻易习得的。
When we truly understand the power of solitude, we realize the importance of being able to live in harmony with ourselves wherever and whenever we please.
It is the restraint and restraint in front of people, but also the self-discipline and persistence after people.
它是人前的约束和克制，更是人后的自律和坚守。
An educated person, on the other hand, knows exactly what they are capable of and, more importantly, is able to accurately identify their weaknesses.
自律地打磨、思考、反思与总结，同时也要做到沉下心来独处，彻彻底底地感悟一番。
Learn from each other’s strengths, or inclusive of their own weaknesses, live out their own strengths, is undoubtedly high eq.
当我们真正明白独处的作用时，就会知道可以随时随地跟自己和谐相处的重要性。
And such a person, in reality, but also really can be with others, give others more warm, comfortable feeling.
而一个有教养的人，他们很清楚自己有多少能力，更可贵的是，他们也能够准确地意识到自己的弱点。
取长补短，或是包容自己的短处，活出自己的长处的人，无疑是高情商的。
Learn from each other’s strengths, or inclusive of their own weaknesses, live out their own strengths, is undoubtedly high eq.
Although there are many differences between people, whether in birth, environment, character and upbringing.
而这样的人，在现实里，也的的确确能够在跟别人相处的时候，给到别人更多温暖、舒服的感受。
And such a person, in reality, but also really can be with others, give others more warm, comfortable feeling.
That’s the power of one’s upbringing.
这就是成长的力量。
That’s the power of one’s upbringing.
这就是一个人教养的力量。
尽管人与人之间有着太多的差异性，无论是在出生、环境、性格以及教养上。
Although there are many differences between people, whether in birth, environment, character and upbringing.
Educated people are acutely aware that there is a large degree of interconnectedness between people.
有教养的人会深刻地意识到，人与人之间在很大程度上也是相通的。
Educated people are acutely aware that there is a large degree of interconnectedness between people.
This commonality is that everyone’s inner world longs for the good things.
这种相通性，就是每个人的内心世界都渴望着拥有美好的事物。
This commonality is that everyone’s inner world longs for the good things.
There’s a line from the Roman poet Horace:
罗马诗人贺拉斯的诗篇里有说过这么一句话：
There’s a line from the Roman poet Horace:
“他们的慧耳能准确聆听缪斯之声，他们的灵魂能远离庸俗的嫉妒。”
“Their ears can hear the voice of Muse, and their souls can be free from vulgar envy.”
其实教养的核心，就是懂得、舍得、容得。
In fact, the core of education is to know, willing, tolerant.
懂得理解和体谅，舍得所拥有的，容得自己所看不惯的。
Understand and understand, give up what you have, tolerate what you can’t stand.
Understand and understand, give up what you have, tolerate what you can’t stand.
理解和理解，放弃你所拥有的，容忍你所不能忍受的。
Understand and understand, give up what you have, tolerate what you can’t stand.
理解和理解，放弃你所拥有的，容忍你所不能忍受的。
眼界宽了，格局大了，你看到的世界，也就不一样了。
The bigger the picture, the more you see the world, the different it is.
The bigger the picture, the more you see of the world, the more different it is.
图片越大，你看到的世界越多，世界就越不同。
图片越大，你看到的世界越多，世界就越不同。
The bigger the picture, the more you see the world, the different it is.
而你看待这个世界的眼光，自然温和了、谦逊了、舒服了。
你看待这个世界的方式，自然是更温和，更谦逊，更舒适。
And the way you see the world, naturally, is gentler, more humble, more comfortable.
And the way you see the world, naturally, is gentler, more humble, more comfortable.
图2
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图2
教养使人明智
图2
There’s a term in psychology called the “Darhk effect,”which says that the lower a person’s quality, the more likely they are to have an inexplicable sense of superiority.
它还告诉我们，如果一个人的教养低下，他天生心胸狭窄。
Figure 2
图2
Breeding makes men wise
教养使人明智
教养使人理智
一个人的知识面狭窄，最终只会伤害到自己。
Breeding makes men wise
教养使人明智
它还告诉我们，如果一个人的教养低下，他天生心胸狭窄。
心理学上有个词叫“达克效应”，说的是素质越低的人，越容易有一种莫名的优越感。
因为当别人发现你的模式只是这样，眼光也只是这样的时候，他们就会疏远你。
It also tells us that if a man is of low breeding, he is naturally narrow-minded.
It also tells us that if a man is of low breeding, he is naturally narrow-minded.
Because when others find out that your pattern is only so, vision is also only so time, they will alienate you.
这也告诉我们，一个人若是教养低了，见识自然就窄了。
But if you are still sitting in the same spot, always feel that they are not wrong on the contrary, the good in life can only let you push away more and more.
可以肯定的是，心胸宽广的人从来不会把自己的优越感表现在脸上。
A person’s knowledge narrow, in the end only hurt themselves.
A person’s knowledge narrow, in the end only hurt themselves.
因为他们知道，一个人最大的优越感，应该来自谦逊的心，温柔，理性和冷静。
一个人的见识窄了，说到底最终伤害的只有自己。
Because they know, a person’s greatest sense of superiority, should come from the heart of humility, gentle, rational and calm.
因为当别人发现你的格局不过如此，眼界也不过如此的时候，便会疏远你。
理性的人，包容的人比容易敏感的人更稳重、冷静。
Transposition thinking, easy to face, do not give trouble to others, do not find their own pain.
可你若是还在原地坐井观天，总觉得自己没错反而对，生命里的美好只能让你推离得越来越远。
To be sure, a man with a big heart never projects his superiority onto his face.
To be sure, a man with a big heart never projects his superiority onto his face.
Don’t show off your achievements, Don’t belittle others, be kind-hearted, and have a heart of understanding and tolerance.
换位思考，洒脱容易面对，不给别人添麻烦，不给自己找痛苦。
诚然，一个内心丰盈的人，从不会将优越感投射在脸上。
理性的人，包容的人比容易敏感的人更稳重、冷静。
理性的人，包容的人比容易敏感的人更稳重、冷静。
真正的教养是能够考虑到别人的困难，也能够理解自己的痛苦。
因为他们知道，一个人最大的优越感，应该是来自内心里的谦逊、温和、理性以及从容。
Rational people, inclusive than easy to sensitive people have been more stable, calm.
Rational people, inclusive than easy to sensitive people have been more stable, calm.
理性的人，包容性从来都比容易感性的人来得更加稳定、沉稳。
换位思考，洒脱容易面对，不给别人添麻烦，不给自己找痛苦。
换位思考，洒脱容易面对，不给别人添麻烦，不给自己找痛苦。
奥斯卡•王尔德(Oscar Wilde)表示:
不炫耀自己的成就，不贬低别人，心怀善意，更有一颗理解以及包容的心。
Transposition thinking, free and easy to face, not to give trouble to others, not to find their own suffering.
真正的教养是能够考虑到别人的困难，也能够理解自己的痛苦。
Transposition thinking, free and easy to face, not to give trouble to others, not to find their own suffering.
真正的教养是能够考虑到别人的困难，也能够理解自己的痛苦。
换位思考，洒脱面对，不给别人添麻烦，不给自己找罪受。
True breeding is the ability to take into account the difficulties of others, but also to understand their own suffering.
True breeding is the ability to take into account the difficulties of others, but also to understand their own suffering.
真正的教养，是能够顾及到他人的难处，也能够理解自己的苦处。
Oscar Wilde said:
奥斯卡•王尔德(Oscar Wilde)表示:
Oscar Wilde said:
奥斯卡•王尔德(Oscar Wilde)表示:
奥斯卡·王尔德说：
“每个圣人都有不可告人的过去，每个罪人都有洁白无瑕的未来。”
“Every saint has a secret past, and every sinner has a clean future.”
“每个圣人都有秘密的过去，每个罪人都有干净的未来。”
诚然，一个理性的人，看待事物总是多面性的，不会轻易地否定，也不会盲目从众。
To be sure, a rational person, looking at things is always multi-faceted, will not be easily denied, will not blindly follow the crowd.
可以肯定的是，一个理性的人，看待事物总是多方面的，不会轻易否认，不会盲目地随波逐流。
遇到问题不会轻易问对错，而是探究源头。
You Don’t ask the right question, you ask the source question.
你问的不是正确的问题，而是源问题。
为什么呢？
And why is that?
为什么呢？
因为理性的人在面对一个问题时，本能地知道对与错并不像他们已经知道的那样重要。
Because rational people, when faced with a problem, instinctively know that right and wrong don’t matter as much as they already have.
因为理性的人，他们在遇到了难题之后，本能地清楚事情既已发生，对错便不再重要。
What matters is how to find the source of the answer to this question.
重要的是，该如何在这个问题上找到源头答案。
Therefore, rational people do not rush to blame others or put the blame on others, but know how to deal with problems.
To find the answer to the source, to see things as they really are, so that they don’t happen again.
找到了源头答案，才能看清事情的本质，往后才不会重蹈覆辙。
所以，理性的人，遇到问题并不会急着去责备别人，或是将责任归咎于别人身上，而是懂得如何处理问题。
That’s the power of breeding.
这就是繁殖的力量。
这就是教养所带来的强大。
J. K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter, said this:
《哈利·波特》作者罗琳说过这么一句话：
“一个人真正的教养，不要看他如何对待比自己身份高的人，要看他如何对待比自己身份低的人。”
“A man’s true breeding depends not on how he treats those of higher rank, but on how he treats those of lower rank.”
深以为然。
I think so.
我想是的。
People have a “Bully”nature, which is the bad human nature.
人都有“欺软怕硬”的天性，这是人类的劣根性。
A rational and cultured person, on the other hand, is never concerned with personal status or power.
而一个理性且有教养的人，他们所关切的从来不是人与人之间的地位或是权势。
They are more concerned about fairness and justice between people, is able to balance the weight of things, be able to treat anything in principle.
他们更在乎的是人与人之间的公平和公正，是能够做到权衡事物的轻重，能够有原则地对待任何事物。
So a man of breeding, even in the face of adversity in his life, can continue to maintain an emotional and caring connection with the world.
所以，一个具备教养的人，哪怕生活里遭遇了横祸，也能够继续同这个世界保持情感的、关切的联系。
Will be both rational and serious about every insignificant people, will not cater to or flatter every person in positions of power.
既会理性又认真地对待每一个不起眼的人，也不会迎合或是奉承每一个身居要职之辈。
Calm, calm, proud, educated.
冷静，冷静，自豪，受过教育。
图3
从容、淡定，有傲骨，有教养。
3
图3
图3
Figure 3
图3
教养使人强大
A man’s strength lies in his upbringing.
Breeding makes a man strong
教养使人强壮
On the contrary, you will find that a weak person, always habitually complaining about life, belittle others, but also like self-expansion.
When you’re strong enough, everything looks good to you.
一个人的强大，藏在教养里。
当你足够强大的时候，看什么都顺眼。
There is no doubt that these men are not only of average ability, but hardly of breeding.
反之你会发现，一个弱者，总是习惯性地埋怨生活，小瞧别人，还喜欢自我膨胀。
Because gold glows everywhere, not because it’s in a different place, but because its power is there.
无疑，这些人非但能力平平，教养也很难说得过去。
Therefore, the size of the upbringing, destined to go further.
因为金子之所以到哪都会发光，并非因为它所处的地方不同，完全因为它的实力就摆在那。
Yu Qiuyu, a writer, spent some time traveling in Germany.
因此，教养的大小，注定了自身能否走得更远。
One day a whim to rent a house, have a good rest, finally found a house, intend to rent with the landlord.
He told this story:
他讲了这样一个故事:
作家余秋雨曾在德国旅游过一段日子。
The landlord is an old man, in that Yu Qiuyu demand, not the first time agreed to sign the contract, but said such a sentence:
他说了这么一个故事：
有天心血来潮想要租个房子，好好休憩一番，好不容易找到了一座房子，打算跟房东租下来。
房东是个老人，在得知了余秋雨的需求后，并未第一时间答应签合同，而是说了这么一句：
“你还未了解清楚，也不知道好坏，可以先试住几天，等拿定了主意，再来签订长期合约吧。”
“You don’t know it yet, and you don’t know if it’s good or bad. You can try it out for a few days and then come back and sign a long-term contract when you’ve made up your mind.”
余秋雨便听从了老人的话，先试住五天。
Yu Qiuyu listened to the old man and tried to stay for five days.
五天之后，余秋雨有意再续，准备跟老人签长约。
After five days, Yu Qiuyu intended to renew, ready to sign a long contract with the old man.
可前一天，因为自己的不小心，打碎了老人房子里的一个玻璃杯。
But the day before, because of his carelessness, broke a glass in the old man’s house.
余秋雨连忙打电话跟老人道歉。
Yu Qiuyu hurriedly called the old man to apologize.
老人大度且温和地说：
The old man said kindly and gently:
“不要紧，你也不是故意的，明天我再拿一个新的来就好。”
“Never mind, you didn’t mean to. I’ll bring a new one tomorrow.”
到了第二天，老人拿出了带来的新杯子，然后又问玻璃碎片在哪，余秋雨指了指门口的垃圾桶说在那。
The next day, the old man brought out a new cup, and then asked where the glass fragments, Yu Qiuyu pointed to the door of the trash can said there.
老人翻开垃圾袋，找到了玻璃碎片，突然阴沉着脸说：“房子不租给你了。”
The old man opened the garbage bag, found glass fragments, suddenly scowling said: “The house is not rented to you.”
这下余秋雨懵了，诧异地问道：“是因为我打碎了你的玻璃杯，惹你不高兴了吗？”
Yu Qiuyu Meng, surprised asked: “Is it because I broke your glass, make you unhappy?”
老人淡淡地回了一句：“不是，因为你心中没有别人。”
The old man replied simply, “No, because there is no one else in your heart.”
随后，老人将垃圾袋里的东西倒了出来，将玻璃碎片跟其他人垃圾分开；
The old man then emptied the garbage bag and separated the glass from the rest of the garbage
再一片一片地分离好，装在了一个小盒子上，并在盒子上写了一句：小心，玻璃。
Then, one by one, he separated them and put them on a small box, on which he wrote, be careful, glass.
看到了这一切的余秋雨，顿时觉得脸上已经热了。
See all this Yu Qiuyu, immediately feel the face has been hot.
什么是教养？这便是教养！
What is breeding? This is breeding!
什么是繁殖? 这就是繁殖！
什么是强大？这便是强大！
What is powerful? This is powerful!
什么是强大的? 这是强大的！
英国作家波伊斯说：
Powys, a British writer, said:
英国作家波伊斯表示:
“任何人，不管多么博学，只要他的学问和生活之间还存在着一段尚可估量的距离，就都称不上是有教养的人。”
“No man, however learned, can be called a man of breeding, so long as there is a measurable distance between his learning and his life.”
真正的教养，是能够融入在生活小事上的：
True breeding can be integrated into the Little Things of Life:
扔垃圾的时候，懂得垃圾分类，会想到收垃圾的人是否方便处理；
When throwing garbage, know garbage classification, will think of the garbage collector is convenient to deal with;
Driving down the sidewalk on a rainy day, you think about whether you can splash water to people on the side of the road
雨天开车经过人行道的时候，会想到路过积水区是否会溅水给路边的人；
When you open a door in a public place, you open it carefully to avoid hitting the person behind you.
在公共场合里开门的时候，会小心打开门，为的就是避免撞到身后的人。
设身处地为他人着想，而不是纯粹做给别人看。
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes, not just show them to them.
因为，强大且富有教养的人，从来不需要刻意去夺得他人的好感和喜欢。
Because a strong and well-bred person never has to make an effort to win the favor and favor of others.
正如契诃夫所言：
As Chekhov puts it:
正如契诃夫所言:
“在男人身上，智慧和教养最要紧，漂不漂亮，对他来说倒算不了什么。
“In a man, intelligence and breeding are the most important things, and beauty is nothing to him.
要是你头脑里没有教养和智慧，那你哪怕是美男子，也还是一钱不值。”
If you don’t have breeding and intelligence in your head, you are still worthless, even if you are a beautiful man.”
而生活里，聪明人都会选择跟有教养的人在一起。
In life, smart people choose to be with educated people.
因为他们也知道，跟这样的人相处，踏实、安心，自在。
Because they also know, with such a person, down-to-earth, secure, comfortable.
不用担心遭受伤害，不怕受人算计和中伤，轻松惬意，随性舒服。
Do not worry about being hurt, not afraid of being calculated and vilified, relaxed and comfortable, casual comfortable.
说到底，有教养和没教养的人的区别在于：
After all, the difference between educated and uneducated people is this:
有教养的人相处起来令人舒服惬意，如沐春风，而没有教养的人，则是如鲠在喉，如芒刺背。
Cultured people get along with people comfortable and comfortable, such as the Spring Breeze, and no education, is like a stick in the throat, such as a thorn in the back.
愿你骨子里有教养，心底里装满善良，维护好自己的“第二张脸”，在人间里，活出自己的锋芒。
May you have breeding in your bones, filled with kindness in your heart, maintain your “Second face”, in the world, live out their own sharp edge.