If you want men to spoil themselves, you must come up with conditions that can convince men.

Some time ago, colleague Xiao Ye ended a five-year relationship with her boyfriend.

In our eyes, they are the right couple, with similar family conditions. Both of them have good jobs and matching looks. Everyone is optimistic about them and waiting for the wedding wine.

As for the reason of breaking up, it is that her boyfriend’s intention for Xiaoye is different from that at the beginning.

For example, the former “where to travel in the future” has now become “talk about it then”;

Once “listen to you”, now it has become “you listen to me”;

The former “let’s discuss something together” has now become “you can do it yourself”.

It seems to be a small matter, but every sentence reveals perfunctory and neglect.

Emotion is a very complex thing. You can’t tell why it came into being or why it changed. The only thing you can be sure of is the details that touch your heart when it changed.

For example, he often said these three sentences.

“Leave me alone”

It was heartbreaking to see such a small video inadvertently.

The boy drove a luxury car to stop the girl riding an electric car and asked the girl why she had to give up her pleasant life with herself.

The girl replied coldly, “you think it’s a gift for me to spend money, but I always feel alone with you. I’m dissatisfied with how much money I have in my heart.”

The picture turns to the little things they used to get along with.

In the morning, the girl chirped to her boyfriend about her plan for the day. Her boyfriend said coldly, “don’t tell me what you’re doing.”

In the evening, the girl happily shared what she had seen and heard in the day with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend was equally cold. He either looked at his mobile phone or refused without raising his head: “I’m busy. Can you stop bothering me with such small things?”

Over time, the girl’s words are less and less, and her smile is less and less. Looking back on the way her boyfriend always haunted her when we first got together, I was sure.

Liu Zhenyun once said:

A person’s loneliness is not loneliness, a person looking for another person, one sentence looking for another sentence, is the real loneliness.

True love is an interactive process. The other party will answer what he says and understand what he thinks. Otherwise, there will be only one person’s loneliness.

If you love someone, you will not take the other party’s talk as annoyance. You will be willing to share your inner thoughts and communicate with each other.

“Don’t bother me” is a clear signal that you are dispensable to this person. His heart has been disconnected from you.

“Don’t ask me”

Backstage reader Xiaoqin asked me if I should marry my fiance.

Xiaoqin said that they are basically in charge of their marriage, such as the decoration style of the house, where to take wedding photos, what style to choose for the wedding dress, which hotel to do the wedding, etc. Their fiance always has the attitude of “you decide, don’t ask me”.

At first, Xiaoqin thought that her fiance didn’t like these complicated and trivial things. Later, when thinking about getting along with him in college, he always imagined the future with himself, saying that he wanted to have a wedding by the sea and install a starry sky lamp in his bedroom, which formed a sharp contrast with today.

It’s not just the wedding. He always ignores what Xiaoqin has to discuss with her fiance. For example, when the company wants to send Xiaoqin to Beijing headquarters to study for half a year, Xiaoqin asks her fiance for advice. He still replies “don’t ask me”, as if he was talking about the neighbor’s house, which has nothing to do with himself.

Xiaoqin is reluctant to be in love for seven years, but in fact, she already has an answer in her heart.

From her fiance’s indifferent attitude over and over again, we can see that she has no place in his heart.

There is a saying:

The most extravagant person in the world is the one who is willing to spend time with you. The one who is willing to give time to you is equal to giving the world to you.

Therefore, it’s easy to determine whether the other party loves you or not. It depends on whether he is willing to spend time and energy for you.

If you love, he will pay attention to anything you do. Give advice when you can’t make up your mind. Discuss and share with you when you encounter something.

“Don’t ask me” sometimes wears the coat of “give you space”, which is actually just his indifferent expression.

“Leave me alone”

We often see such passages in some film and television dramas:

After a man’s career is small, he begins to regard his wife as an accessory. He doesn’t tell his wife what he is doing outside, and even makes such extraordinary things as not going home at night. In addition to being special, they generally have another feature, which is the strong expression of “don’t care what I do” to their wife.

“Leave me alone” seems to want absolute freedom, but it is actually ignoring the feelings of your partner.

If men love women, they will be a little afraid of each other.

Host Li Yong once talked about love:

Whether love has come and whether love is still there is the objective criterion to test it is the degree of fear you have of the people you love.

Wu Jing, a tough guy in the entertainment industry, is famous for being afraid of wives. In a variety show, Wu Jing secretly drank with a group of brothers. When he heard Xie Nan’s voice, he immediately became a good boy, which attracted the ridicule of his brothers.

Unexpectedly, such a tough guy can’t even drink by himself.

I remembered a friend who said to his daughter-in-law:

“I like you to take care of me everywhere, prevent me from smoking and drinking, prevent me from staying up late at night playing games, and keep me away from the gorgeous little girl. If you ignore me one day, I will be like a kite with a broken line and will never belong again.”

Men without love in their hearts will reject the “control” of women and pursue absolute freedom.

On the contrary, those men who seem to be afraid of wives are not willing to see her sad and worried because they love that person. Because of love, they are willing to establish contact with that person in everything and are willing to meet each other for love.

“Leave me alone” is naked away.

Zhang Ailing said:

“The greatest happiness in life is to find that the person you love also loves you.”

Whether true love is valuable or not is also reflected in the details.

If a woman often hears a man say “don’t bother me”, it means that he is impatient with you;

Often hear him say “don’t ask me”, that means he doesn’t care about you at all;

I often hear him say “leave me alone”, which means he wants to draw a line with you.

This kind of information is not love.

To my best friend

Girlfriends, we must remember:

Managing a relationship is never easy