I started music back as a junior in Highschool about 12 years ago. I’ll write an article on the many deep adventures music has bought me since then. But today I want to write about how the Matrix & societal pressures almost made me quit my dreams.

Back in August I got extremely burnt out after working at a major music studio (A2F Studios) for about 2 years. I had to leave to address important personal factors in my life such as finances & mental health. This also coincided breaking up with a singer I was dating all last year. Then to top it off, I got Covid.

It was a rough patch, but it got rougher. Over the years I had built a cool Bedroom studio vibe where I could create for myself and with friends.

However my personal studio was unwinding itself while I was working at A2F Studios. Slowly things broke or burned out. Since I lacked the funds to repair or replace them, I couldn’t. But I figured that I thankfully had a major studio to test out all my tunes at. However, when I ended my period at A2F, I no longer had a studio. My brother moved back home with us, things had to be rearranged, and I just had a bedroom. I was reduced to my laptop and a pair of headphones.

How could I be as talented as ever, my ears hearing more detail than ever, having more music knowledge than ever. And yet my environment made me feel like I was a beginner again. All I had now was a laptop and pair of headphones after 12 years in this music journey.

Did I mess up? Why do I feel massively ascended on the inside, but looked like I regressed on the outside? Is this another tribulation of the music journey?

The Matrix is the system that provides a “convincing, simulated life” while it harvests your energy to keep its system functioning. The Matrix does not want you to push outside of its bounds, because then you’re no longer under its influence or control.

I consider any influence from the Matrix to be that which pulls someone away from being their highest self, being uniquely creative or being an artist.

Since music & the studio had been my full time job, I was now 28 years old without a steady job or income, and with bills to pay. This is how the Matrix starts to oust most people from their dreams; financially. In fact I’ve seen it happen to many of my music friends around this age, they quit for that reason. I was wondering how it would feel when I reached it. And I understand now.

No one wants to stop being creative or doing their art. But being almost 30 and not having “made it”, being a fully grown adult with bills to pay and knowing you have tried all your 20s trying to make it in your art.. It’s not “illogical” to want to have some stability as an adult for the first time in your life. The Matrix will lure you in that way. It will negotiate your creative divinity for financial security.

A mental whirlwind ensued within me, an identity crisis. I was going from 12 years of being a creative individual to now trying to settle in the workforce. I cried privately everyday for about 2 weeks. I wasn’t lazy to work, but it felt like my music dream was collapsing and now a bunch of my time would be taken up from a mediocre job that I had no interest in. It didn’t resonate within my soul to be there. The first job I quit after the second day. Having a “boss”, trying to seem like I cared and was happy in a company culture I had no interest in, the lack of ambition in the employees and the low pay felt toxic for my mindset. The employer begged for me to stay for at least 6 months so he could find someone else, as if that’s a short time span of my life. HELL NO to that. I needed to find a job that was at least meaningful to me. Is that asking for too much?

In November, Sofiya Rothschild, a great friend of mine, invited me to go to EDC Orlando. It was exactly what I needed. I came out so re-inspired in Music, that I felt it had triggered something at the cellular level of creation. Music started coming to me stronger and easier, I was ignited to change up my workflow and try music again.

Then in December I reconnected with a long time friend, Antonio Gomes, who is the Director of Operations with the Blockchain Education Network (BEN). He said he was having trouble editing audio podcasts from interviews he had done in the industry. He had hired someone from the Philippines to do this. I said are you crazy, I’m a master at this, let me help you out! This led me to going to DCentral Con Miami to record more Podcasts with BEN and meeting awesome people in the Blockchain industry. I got more involved with BEN, helping them with internal work, marketing and continuously learning more about Blockchain.

Now I’m currently studying up on Music NFTs and how it’s going to completely revolutionize the music industry. I still only have a laptop and pair of headphones, but I told myself, I’ll inspire the world by doing more with less. Sometimes showing what you can create in the trenches is more inspiring & creative than what you can create by “having everything”.

Thank you for reading. Don’t let The Matrix get you, find a way for your dreams to work!