Becoming a mom for the first time will bring forth a whole range of emotions and transform your life forever. As that precious bundle develops and grows, day by day, you’re probably waiting with bated breath to meet your little one. It’s also OK to feel nervous, apprehensive and even frightened - this is an unprecedented period of time.
Although each journey is unique, sharing stories and advice about what to expect may make the experience less fraught, so here are a few things you can expect within the first few weeks of bringing your beautiful baby into the world.
You can plan your upcoming birth down to the most minute detail, but sometimes, babies have different plans. Unless you’re being induced or planning a C-section, your baby will arrive when they’re good and ready. Although your medical team will work with you to provide the most personalised birth experience possible, until the time comes, there’s only so much you can put in place. If the birth of your baby doesn’t quite meet your expectations, it’s completely normal to feel disappointed and in need of support. Negative birth experiences can lead to mothers facing difficulty bonding with their baby and feelings of inadequacy - if this is the case, know you are not alone, and help is always available.
Your stay in hospital will depend on the nature of your birth, as well as the health of you and your baby. Once you have your special little one in your arms, you may find the prospect of leaving the hospital into the wide world difficult. Being responsible for a tiny life is scary, and many new moms view the hospital as a safe space. On the other hand, you may find the clinical atmosphere uncomfortable, counting down the seconds until you can be in the comfort of your own home with your newborn. Either way, both scenarios are normal. You may not feel ready, but you’re as prepared as you’ll ever be.
A disturbed sleep pattern is bound to make you feel grouchy, irritable and emotionally drained. Newborns will wake throughout the night every 2-3 hours, although this varies. Between feeds and diaper changes, you’re likely to feel exhausted. If you’re concerned your baby isn’t getting enough sleep, it could be due to factors such as acid reflux; however, some babies just sleep better than others.
During the first few months of parenthood, finding a balance between childcare and housework can seem like an endless battle. On top of your regular chores, now you have bottles that need washing and baby bedding that needs changing. It’s OK to struggle, and it’s also OK to ask for help. Reach out to your support network, and you’ll be surprised how much people offer to chip in.
Some mothers find breastfeeding an enjoyable bonding experience between them and their baby, whereas others find it uncomfortable. It is likely you’ll experience minor difficulties at some point. Breastfeeding requires patience, perseverance and ultimately may not work for some mothers. Always consider the advice of your midwife or health visitor, and if you decide to exclusively bottle feed, that’s fine, because although breastfeeding has benefits, your baby is still being fed and cared for.
Parenthood can be overwhelming, and it’s easy to understand why many first-time moms struggle. Even experienced moms struggle. If you’re finding it difficult to cope, you must remember that it’s OK to ask for help. Share the household responsibilities with your partner and communicate with other moms who understand the difficulties of life with a newborn. You are never alone and remember, “it takes a village to raise a child”.
The worst possible thing you could do for your self-esteem is to compare yourself to others. Each family is unique, and although some moms may seem as though they have it all held together, things aren’t always as they appear on social media. Surround yourself with a kind, supportive community and focus on your own journey as a parent.
Katie Murray