The best marriage is like this. I see your pay and you understand my hard work.

Have you found a strange phenomenon in your marriage:

You have paid a lot for this family, your partner and children.

But in the end, instead of being grateful, they take your pay for granted.

What’s more, not only don’t appreciate your kindness, but also dislike and dislike your pay.

Why? Let’s see~

I saw a video on the Internet:

A couple, playing in the scenic spot.

The wife took good care of her husband. She not only arranged his collar for him, but also took out a thermos cup for him to drink water.

Afraid that her husband was too tired to walk, she advised him to sit on the bench and have a rest.

The wife went to the convenience store and bought bread, milk and fruit for her husband.

But why does the husband not only not be grateful, but also have a gloomy face and don’t want to talk to his wife?

We might as well restore their dialogue:

Wife, help me tidy up my collar.

Can’t you do this little thing yourself? How many times have I sorted it out for you?

It’s too urgent to walk. My stomach is filled with cold air. It hurts a little. I want to have a drink of hot water.

Do I always tell you to bring hot water when you go out, but you don’t listen to me. Fortunately, I brought it this time. What will you do next time?

Tired and hungry, let’s take a break.

Tired as soon as you go out, what else can you do? Fortunately, I’m hungry. I haven’t taken a few steps

If we turn this video into silent mode, we can see more that the wife is full of love for her husband and gives wholeheartedly.

But the reality is that her husband not only can’t see her pay, but scoffs at her pay.

And all this is bad in her mouth.

In fact, we all know that her heart is good and she is taking care of her husband’s life wholeheartedly.

But it happened that while she was paying for her family, she was constantly releasing “malice” in language.

This kind of “malice” is either complaining, complaining, wronged or disgusted.

Perhaps, it seems nothing to her, but for close people, it has a fatal “lethality”.

Let their eyes only see you complaining and complaining, but they can’t see your pay at all.

No matter how hard you work and how much you pay, they won’t appreciate you from the bottom of their hearts.

Because your mouth covers up your good.

Sometimes, I feel wronged for those women whose mouths can’t say good words.

I’ve done a lot for my family, husband and children, but I can’t leave a little good. Why bother?

However, looking back, is it really just because the husband doesn’t know how to be grateful?

I think there are many reasons.

Speaking of this, I would like to share a story about the people around me:

My neighbor’s aunt, a hardworking woman, often keeps the house in good order.

He is also very considerate to his husband. He doesn’t let his uncle intervene in the chores of washing, cooking and cleaning up the housework.

However, my uncle didn’t appreciate it. Every time I mentioned my aunt, I was angry.

I remember once when I went to his house to borrow something, I happened to witness the scene of their quarrel.

At that time, my uncle and aunt had just finished dinner. While cleaning up the dishes and chopsticks, my aunt complained that my uncle was too lazy to give a hand.

The uncle retorted, “every time I want to help, you say I’m making trouble.”

My aunt was angry at my uncle’s words: you can’t wash the dishes every time, and the ground is full of water. Isn’t this making trouble? What is it?

Uncle said, “you don’t want to cook. You can’t do it. No one wants you to do it.”

My aunt was more anxious: I don’t cook. Why don’t you drink the northwest wind? Why do I have such a hard life? I serve you and my son from morning to night. In the end, I can’t fall behind. You just have no conscience

The two of them are like this. They quarrel with each other.

I’ve heard a saying: “the cold and hot of marriage depends on the temperature you talk to your partner.”

Whether a marriage is happy or not also has a lot to do with your way of speaking and attitude.

Admittedly, there will always be many grievances and grievances in the relationship.

But too many complaints and complaints will not get their gratitude, but will erase all your efforts.

If you observe carefully, you will find that such women are quite common in marriage.

They have one thing in common: they are laborious and thankless.

You can say they are knife mouth tofu heart, or you can say they are stupid.

Obviously, in the whole family, he plays the role of giver, but he can’t get the recognition and gratitude of other family members.

It’s not worth thinking about.

But why did this happen? We can analyze it from two aspects.

From a psychological point of view, this is a flattering personality plus aggressive behavior.

Your care for your husband and children, and your dedication to the whole family, is to get their love in this way.

But unfortunately, in marriage, it’s not how much you pay that you get.

When you don’t get feedback for your efforts, you will become dissatisfied, angry, resentful, and make verbal attacks.

From the perspective of marital emotion, this is more from the unequal payment of family members and the invisibility of the party who pays more.

Because the essence of marriage is the desire to be seen by each other.

If giving is not seen or recognized, your heart will lose balance, get angry, get angry, and find an outlet to vent.

Xi Murong said:

Marriage is not only two people face to face from now on. Marriage should be two people holding hands to face the world together.

Marriage is a practice of two people. It requires both sides to face the bits and pieces of life and the ups and downs of the world.

Instead, it has always been a person’s pay, a person’s fight alone.

A good marriage can love each other.

He sees your efforts and understands your hard work; You also love his fatigue and share his pressure.

So what I want to say is:

When women in marriage complain, cry and complain, they just want to be heard and understood by their partners, and want their efforts to be seen and recognized.

You know, there is no such thing as taking things for granted or giving willingly in this world.

Behind all the efforts, it is to another person