Sweet Sweet Child of mine

All stories dont need to end, some are left at to be continued, some pause and take a break, some go happily ever after, some do end, with a happy ending, some wrench at our heart, the pain, rending, A story that is all of these and nothing, shrouded in darkness but not sad, the shadows are not suffocating, its the light that makes us squint our eyes, this story is of, a sweet sweet child of mine.

The best things happen by chance, the most beautiful pieces elude our mind, our brain plays tricks, its illusions and deductions, it recognizes not the reality, but what it perceives to be, it remembers what it wants, it sees what it feels there to be, so everything great, and everything that brings about change, is nothing, but just by chance, and most of it starts with discomfort, are your body and mind, and soul, are not used to that.

A party organized, a simple phone call, so many people i dont recognize, I just want to sit in the corner, chill and vibe, my head is splitting apart, some interesting people, some weird and some just lost, I will focus on one of them, I remember vividly, A girl with pride, not to fuck around, a mixture of nice and rude, the nicest rude person ever, she was dark, in everything bright that night she used to go from chill to argue, in a snap, I watched her vibe with everyone, yet felt lke had a barrier for eternity.

The party ended, everyone to their homes some faces I will miss, only one face, that I would love to have known, days pass by, I strottle around, maybe more parties there will be, in which she I would find, it was weird, not part of the group anymore, I visited them numerous times, but I didnt keep that on top of my mind, some day, some nights, we will be able to talk, the beginning of the conversation, with the sweet sweet child of mine.

Scrolling through social media, looking at stories, that are sad or lost, asking them if they are okay be there for the one who have lost it all I have never been excited for someone's sadness, not a sadist, never puts me on a smile, yet this time was different, it was the future sweet sweet child of mine, I ask her if she is okay, my fingers trembling in time, waiting for a reply, and just excited, there is going to be a conversation to go by, she replied, asking to be honest, and that is my vibe, so I go yeah! she says not okay, and i say wait a while, I scroll through all people I found sad, all the random posts i forwarded in time, forwarding it all to her, trying to make her alright, I dont know what got me so riled up, but i didnt care much, as long as she was fine, she said thanks, I said alright it was my time to leave and leave it to fate, for the next chapter of our life.

Reluctant and sad, not having a great night, a friend dragged me to this place, some event, bollywood, and karaoke night, the time was late, I reached at a fire alarm, I realized its not my vibe, so many people, and my hearts wrenching this time, any reasons to not stay, I would just like to curl up tonight, but we enter, I compromise, I walk in, I want to really get drunk this night, I dont see a lot of friends, I find a place to sit down and just drown in my screen, a face walks over, my heart skips a beat, she says thank you for it all, my mind goes havent u said that already but I say no problem, cause the voice was angelic, I wanted to say thank you for your voice, but she was ready to walk back already, so I said, with all of my mind, excited, hey, sing with us, this is karaoke night from the guy sitting in the corner, scurging for drinks and more, I became the pioneer to go to the stage, so many songs in my mind to unfold, I drag her by my side, her sweet sweet voice is all I could hear, but the thing was coming to an end, rules were being set in place, as alone as I could be, I felt lost, everyone leaves me hanging, my sadness slowly taking me over, refusing to be alone, I wanted to talk to the girl with thank you one more time, I invite everyone to my place, lets party all night! I dont like convincing but I will keep asking her and her friends and more to join us for the night dance everything away or less or more, I just didnt want to be alone, this night. The party started, we dance like idiots and monkeys, slowly drinking into the night, the sweet sweet girl is alone on the table, my mind goes wait wait what why, I leave the floor, I leave the people, I find peace, sitting by her side, talking was not important, just to be by her side was right, so many stories, and unraveling the pain, I tried my best to comfort her in time, but as everything comes to an end, people went to sleep in their beds, I went with them, unwilling to be alone for the night.

days and weeks pass by, not many sad stories to reply to, but we still find to be sad some times, not a lot of conversations, either she taking care of me, or me taking care of her, trying our hardest to make each other believe in life, our motive was not happiness, for now, as so broken, it was just to survive, the timeline is bit cloudy in my mind, a meeting over coffee, talking for hours with no end in sight, until we realized the thing has to close, so we have to leave in time, an excuse, to study, a dreadful realization of travel, I slowly take back my hope and eyes, so lets go through them one at a time these three events, form the foundation of the story, lets try to understand the significance, or weakness of it, of the sweet sweet child of mine.

a msg, she is not alright, my mind goes into focus, what can i do to make it right meet me, i shout, you have to, this time no excuses, you dont have many to give, just meet me at this time, at this place, sigh, I was late, she still makes fun of that, but we meet, we sit down, our hearts wallowing slowly in the deep, our eyes lost, but can find each other in sight, we sit down with coffee, with promise to take more every half hour, but the conversations become so addictive, we let that go, we try and get lost in each others words, drink through each other pain, stay up in each others sorrow. the minutes to hours pass by, what you want to do later this time? come to my place, lets eat together, my evil plan unfolding in sight, it didnt work, but atleast she was there, we talked for hours, we ate together and then slept, just in the beds of our own, miles apart, missing each other somewhat, we touched each others darkness, but that was all.

the second event is travel, she had to go somewhere far, alone, independent, shining in the city, me, just lost, waiting for her return, like the festival of lights, celebrating the return of the king in mind, for me it was the nicest rude person's return, I ran to the bus stop this time, I pretended like I had a normal day, not me just thinking of her all the time, My mind bringing another evil plan, she is so tired, let her sleep over this time, but whatever, she comes to the building everyone talks together, I leak the sweet words to just rest you are tired this time, but she is her, and that is amazing, I lose, but win, I walk her back, to where she lives., walking by her side, talking, reeling in the other plans, lets study together, that should be fun, I cant study alone, so lets try that hun, i drop her back, a small hug, reluctance in my mind, i walk back, slowly, urghh, I am tired too, i could have stayed over at hers, too late so done.. i sleep in my bed, cursing my stupidity and my mind.

the third event, lets call it study, she comes over for stories and to study in time, we talk a bit, we sit down, things never go as planned, or sometimes they lead to something more amazing, cant write the exact, the accuracy is dwindling, so the vagueness of that is enough, our voices were mostly wavering, there was a warmth, and some cold, both our minds entwined, struggling to unravel and let go, so many doubts, so many desires, even though the door was always open, nobody left, no voices were silenced, a decision, a darkness, a contract, as slowly our eyes stayed in touch, that day, i hope we both never forget, as this was the end of ACT I. ACT I, to the sweet sweet child of mine, stay tuned, there is so much more and less, to unwind.

#poetry