After I stepped into my new job, every day became very regular, eating at the right time, working at the right time, working at the right time, working at the right time and sleeping at the right time. The 24 hours of each day are divided into segments, and these segments are filled by me.

I am afraid of suddenly calm down, also afraid of suddenly idle down, because I will miss Han Wei very much. This is how I look at my heart, and I don't want to lie to myself, so I'm true to myself.

At the beginning of my new job, once I was idle, I began to think about Han Wei crazily, how much I loved him and how pitiful I was. Tears fell on my desk for fear of being found by colleagues around me. I was wronged and very careful.

If there are colleagues around, I have to endure it and cry quietly on the way home from work. No matter how many times I told myself I couldn't do it, I didn't want to do it, BUT I couldn't hold back the tears.

I did not dare to make a phone call to the family, more afraid to call a friend, I know, if I start talking, and I will be around in, and constantly to let his pain, I have to spend this period of hard times, no one can help me, I have to get past, I have to day after day of counting the days to battle through this period of quiet time, the silent years, this period of the baptism of self growth.

The only thing I am proud of is that I did not contact him. Yes, I did. I did it with determination. I told myself that every day I die even if I feel uncomfortable, but after all, I did not die, then I would not contact, unless I met with a big question of life and death, then I can, I would like to encourage myself, comfort my own difficult years.

The beginning of each day, really good hard, take the soul seems to be, I review my whole life stages of love, never so loved a man, love actually beyond myself, beyond everything, I have been trying to imagine some pictures, if faced with a choice between life and death, if need to use my life to return for his, so I would like to? I hear the answer in my heart clearly. Ah! I would like to! Is a very positive answer. Now I still ask the question, I ask myself, do I still want to?

My answer is: no. I wouldn't trade my life for his.

I was surprised by this answer. It was the answer my subconscious gave to myself, and some books I had read told me that my subconscious, which had been carefully calculated by my brain, must be the most accurate answer.

While I thought of the pain and tears that he still felt, I realized that each day I survived had given me energy that I needed to thrive. And I was surprised that I changed the answer, I have from the bottom of my heart do not want to shake anything for his life, although it is only a hypothetical proposition, but at least has changed.

Yeah! Everything is changing in this world. Only change is the real growth and progress. How could I not realize that before?

I remember the feeling that you cry when you eat, you think about him, you think about him when you work, you think about him when you go to bed, you think about those warm pictures of you and him, no matter what you do you think about him. At that time, I felt as if I was experiencing a baptism of life. I was experiencing a life experience that I had never experienced before. I had no idea that I would have such a strong emotional experience when I was living alone. The original taste of love is such, the original is not the right way to manage love is so destroyed. I kind of keep moving forward and reflecting so I don't make the next mistake.

In the process of my new job, about a week later, I did another thing. I cleared out all the friends and colleagues related to Han Wei, including han Wei's family.

I have been to Han Wei's home and got along with his family for a period of time, so I have his family's contact information.

I am still surprised by my ruthless, I have never thought, I think of a break up tangled more than half a year of people, and finally in the state of sudden enlightenment malicious so resolute. I in the end how ruthless, I also finally listened to the views of friends around, and I witnessed some other things, I just understand, the nature of my bones was so cold.

During this transition, I went from counting the days to counting the weeks, and after a few weeks, I realized that I had slipped through a month.

For a month, I asked myself to take a personal fitness class after work. I even told my trainer.

I said: "Don't mention it, you set big training abuse me! I beg for torture."

The coach knew I broke up, so he didn't hesitate to say: "You rest assured, you must abuse to go home on the stairs are difficult."

In my coach's eyes, there is nothing that can't be solved by a good workout.

In order to help me get over the breakup faster, my fitness trainer would tell me about his dating history, how he got married, how he married his current wife, and how he had two daughters.

In the eyes of my trainer, my breakup was a minor event. "As time goes on, you don't even remember him," he said.

I curled my lip, not quite believing him, but said nothing to contradict him.

Fitness time, I should be the most concentrated moment of the day, can not think to run away, because as long as I am absent, the coach slapped on my back. At this time, I would smile awkwardly at the coach and immediately adjust myself.

He Yang, my fitness instructor, is in her thirties. She is married and has a good relationship with her husband and two daughters. Generally speaking, she is in a stable state. I used to call my coach "Lao He".

Old he belongs to the type of thin body, how to eat not fat, old he said, his stomach absorption function is not good.

Although he is a fitness coach and has been practicing for many years, I really can't tell he is a fitness coach in shape, but he is very professional in teaching you, you really can't refuse, why on my body structure, as well as the power of muscles, I think he knows more about my own body than I do.

It is this daily life that links the 24 hours of the day to the day. Why there are a lot of single men around, coupled with my appearance, as well as the body of the management, why think I want to find a boyfriend is a minute thing, why afraid I am obsessed with my ex can not come out, always enthusiastic to introduce me this, that single young men.

But I don't seem to have any idea about this, not that I can't put down Han Wei, not that I am still looking forward to making up with him and so on. I asked myself, none of it.

Part of the reason is that I've been in love for so long. I've been in love with Han Wei for 5 years, and I've forgotten what it's like to be single.

Although occasionally some thoughts came to me, thinking whether I should fall in love again in some way and forget Han Wei in a faster way, I later thought that my idea was understandable, but I still couldn't do it, or I was very repelling in my heart, and I didn't want to do it at all. Because I with what to treat yourself so casually, as if the people around me who will do the same, that how line, I can't accept, more can't accept this attitude to treat men, although said, I was the hanwei enterprise slag, and he throws his women belong to deceive the feelings of man, that I also can't take all the men in this world is a bonzi killed, feel is bad! What a radical idea! I can't take it!

Time suddenly passed very fast, I know, I can have such feelings, really can only show that I am developing in a better and better direction. It has been 3 months since we broke up. I seem to have stopped crying and felt so uncomfortable when I thought of Han Wei.

I was amazed. I was amazed that the man I once loved so deeply was no longer in love, and yet it had only been three months, 90 days, and the feeling that I once loved so deeply was gone.

Ah! I felt I was cool and thin. I began to wonder why some people could not get out of the dark for many years after they separated from someone who loved them. I questioned and thought.

Yes, now I love thinking, love reading, work leisure I will use to read some books, and read very fascinated, infatuated, but also like to read and write some feelings, I feel I got a great sense of peace in my heart.

My biggest change should be to love reading and thinking, and never tired of demanding knowledge, I love myself now, I found love.

In just a few months, MY whole person has changed a lot. This change mainly comes from my inner spiritual world rather than my external world, but I believe that my external world is also gradually changing.

At least, no one likes a crybaby, and I stopped crying long ago. Now I don't cry at all when I think about Han Wei, and the point is, I don't think about him much anymore.

I actually do not hate him, is very peaceful inner feelings, not too big fluctuations and ups and downs.

Ah! At that moment, I looked out of the window at the sky and felt that life was really wonderful!