Few are gonna make it. Most probably, the ones who don’t spend all day apeing shit and writing WAGMI all over Twitter. Why?
Simple: Where there’s a market, there’s transaction. There’s circulating money. There are purchases, there are sales. There are assets. Assets have valuations on them. That valuation, literally, constantly changes. We, as people, have been using “money” for transaction for a long time now. We purchase assets, sell assets using money. In crypto markets, we buy/sell money, with the payment option also being money. The seller always sells to a buyer (makes sense right?). There’s always a buyer for the price. If there isn’t any buyer, then it isn’t price. It’s just the value that the seller wants to sell, but will fail to sell. Why was 70k BTC not a price? Becuase there was no buyer.
Remember: People bought BTC at 69K, people sold BTC at 69k. When someone “makes it”, the other one gets wrecked.
Imagine a person comes up to you and says hi. Shows their hand to you, holding 8 used condoms. Says “Do you wanna buy some?”
You say “No. Why the fuck would I want that? It’s gross!”
They say “What do you mean why? These had been selling for 2$ until a month ago. Now people pay 5$ for it. This shit is gaining value. Why wouldn’t you want some?”
You say “What? Why are people paying more as the time passes to this sick shit?”
They say “Well, at first, a weird psycho friend of mine, wanted to buy my used condoms. I asked why and he said he’ll use it to fertilize his plants. He started paying me 1$ for each.”
You say “And then what? Who was the second buyer and why?”
They say “Well, the second one was a girl who believed cum is good for her skin. She was willing to pay 1$ for each too. I sold her a bunch.”
You say “And who the fuck was the third person?”
They say “Well, this part is weird. This guy, who was named Whale Whaleson, yeah, I know, weird name. He came up and said he wanted to buy many, many of them for 1$. And I did sell him many, many used condoms. Then I asked him what he was going to do with them. He said he won’t utilize them in any way, and that it’s none of my business.”
You say “And who was the fourth buyer and why?”
They say “Well, the fourth buyer was me.”
You say “What? Why would you want to buy it?”
They say “Well, after I sold the third buyer many, many used condoms for 1$ each, I came home, the plant guy approached me and asked for 10 more. I checked my secret stash and there were exactly 10 condoms. Just as I was about to sell the guy 10 condoms for 1$ each, the skin-care girl approached us too! She said she needed 10 condoms. I said sorry, you are late, I’m selling all of them to the plant guy. She said she’ll give 1.5$ each. The plant guy said that he was not wiliing to pay that much, he thought it was overpriced. And I sold them all to the skin-care lady.”
You say “Well, then the other guy got screwed, right?”
They say “Nope. I got screwed. Remember the guy who bought many of them? He approached us too! He said he could sell the plant guy some condoms. The plant guy was willing to pay 1.25$ each. So they traded. And at that moment, I realised his purpose of buying condoms. He thought the price was undervalued by my other two buyers. Used that as an opportunity to decrease the circulating supply, buy low, sell high. And there I was, sitting with 0 condoms. How was I going to make money? Well, I needed to buy back into the system. The condoms were now worth 1.25$ each. I bought 8 of them and have been holding them until now. In the meanwhile I’ve been holding, the price constantly went up. New people have been willing to pay more and more because the price was always going up. And the Whale Whaleson guy, well, he became rich. He even kinda manipulates the price sometimes becuase of his large bag of condoms that he bought from me.”
You ask, gently, curious, excited… “Why do you want to sell me now then? You say that this shit’s been gaining value.”
They say “Well, It’s time to take some profits I think. Maybe I’ll go buy myself a beer with some of the profits, and buy some more condoms if the price goes down anytime soon. And also, you know, I think I’ll mine more used condoms. I am not really the trader per se. I’m more like the one who creates the supply.”
You ask “Why would I want to buy if it can be mined?”
They say “Well, not everyone can do it. You’d need so much will power and physical dexterity to fap so much. You’d have to consume large amounts of food to produce that much cum and you’d even end up damaging the mother nature with all those waste that you’d create after consuming so much food. I mean, the fapping itself also comes pricy to an extend.”
You say “Oh, okay, I don’t think I can do that then. But why would I buy right now if you think there’s going to be a dump on the price soon?”
They say “Well, I personally do think that there’ll be a dump soon because I see so many people fapping and also so many people kind of overvalued this shit in the last week. It became a trend. Now, people like me, who already had their 4x-5x, will want to sell them. If so many people want to sell them, the price will go down. The sellers will keep offering lower prices to the buyers. But, the key point is that I already made a huge profit since I started to hodl, oh sorry, hold* them. The dump I’m expecting, is just a possibility. It can go up from here too. However, I’m fine either way. I made my 4x-5x.”
You say “Wow, I… How can I say it?.. I have a feeling that I… I fear missing out now. I want to buy some.”
They say “Well, it’s 5$ each. How many do you want?”
You grab your wallet, look inside, see 10$, give it to the person selling condoms. He gives you 2 condoms.
He turns his back, starts to walk slowly, after a few steps, he turns his head slightly back to you, he says “You won’t regret fam, this is the new gold. We, the believers, the early explorers of the new era of economy. We, the brave youth, that gives value to this degenerate way of making markets, the uncentra- No, no, the decentralized people, We, are all gonna make it.”
He continues to walk away and he disappears into the horizon as you watch him go.
You go home with your 2 condoms.
You eat.
You go to bed.
You start to think what he said.
“We are all gonna make it.”
You believe.
You ape.
You want it to be true.
You sleep.
You dream of it.
You hold.
You hodl.
You wake up.
You rinse.
You repeat.
A week passes by.
The guy who sold you for 5$ was wrong.
Price didn’t crash.
Condoms are now 15$ each.
You rich.
You happy.
You now new conqueror of the youthful decentralized economy.
You early.
You buy more.
People adapt condoms more.
Market capitalization is now thousands of dollars.
The Whale Whaleson now can’t manipulate the supply/demand of condoms anymore.
A week passes by.
Some local grocery stores start to accept condoms as payment.
Adoption increases.
Market capitalization increases.
Condoms cost 30$ each now.
You hold.
You hodl.
People fear missing out.
People buy in.
People ape.
People hold.
People hodl.
Used condoms are now much more than their utility.
They are not for fertilizing.
They are not for skin-care.
They are for money.
They are for sell.
They are for buy.
They are money.
A week passes by.
Used condoms are now 35$.
It doesn’t gain value as fast now.
Price momentum decreases.
You are 7x since you bought.
The guy who sold you at 5$ is now 28x.
He rich.
He says enough.
People say enough.
People say time to take profit.
Sellers much.
Buyers less.
Price 25$.
You down to 5x.
You panic.
You sell.
You panic sell.
A week passes by.
You see a bear outside the window.
“That’s odd”
You say to yourself.
Price 20$.
You panic.
You sell.
You panic sell.
People buy.
You never ask why people want to buy when you are willing to sell.
A week passes by.
Price 50$.
People thought it was great to be able to buy used condoms for 20$ last week.
They bought.
All time high.
You fear.
You fear missing out.
You buy.
A week passes by.
Price 53$.
You buy more.
You hold.
You hodl.
A week passes by.
Price 55$.
A week passes by.
You see a bull in front of your local grocery store.
“How odd.”
You say to yourself.
A week passes by.
Price 56$.
A meek passes by.
Price 58$.
You rich.
You feel good.
You sell some.
You buy fancy shit.
A week passes by.
You look out your window.
You see a car crash.
“How odd.”
You say to yourself.
Price 13$ now.
You broke.
You sad.
You did not make it.
You 0.
You done.
You sell what’s left.
You go outside, grab a beer with the last money in your wallet. Weirdly, you notice a cute detail on your wallet for the first time. There’s a picture of a cute fox on it.
You sit on a bench.
The guy who sold you your first used condoms comes by. What a coincidence.
He says “hi”.
You say “hi”.
He rich.
You say “You said we were all gonna make it.”
He says “Yeah. Sorry. Few made it.”
A week passes by.
Price is 70$.
You didn’t make it.