Currently I am flying back from Malaysia to Paris, and I decided to write this article differently because I have approached this whole trip differently. Per usual I had set out a list of objectives to live up to during my stay, but from the start on I decided to not to stick to it this time. I want to live a disciplined life on the flow. Over de past year I have trimmed down my focus points and this has brought me more clarity and efficiency. I want to implement more flexibility in my life again, thus this is the first trial to live this new (old) way of life.
My trip consisted of 3 parts:
2 weeks of work in Penang Island
2 weeks of work in Kuala Lumpur
2 weeks of traveling through the north of Borneo
My focus points during 4 weeks of work:
Work
Sports
Passion Fruit
Network
Mental Health
My focus points during 2 weeks of travel:
Mental Health
Sports
Passion Fruit
Network
And additionally exploring as much as possible, both during my weekends while working and during my two weeks of traveling. I am here now and must seize every chance I have to explore the nature, culture & people.
This was truly a wonderful place. The local team was very small; only two people and one intern. They were very good students which resulted in a lot of freedom for me. The operation went smoothly from the start. They emerged me in their culture allowing me to see their personal lives both during working hours and outside of it. Daily in-depth conversations, going out for lunch in local street markets and even joining them for prayers in the mosque. They gave me the most immersive introduction into their culture I could’ve ever imagined. A blessing.
In sports I went all out on this one although I still had an ear infection. I went for my daily runs and almost daily gym sessions. Over the second week I could go swimming, and I amazed myself with my performance: 2000m without a break on the first go. WAUW. Still no crawl, but I will work on that later in Belgium!
My health was pushed back a bit in these weeks. Clocking in my lowest sleep time week since recording with an average of 3h40’ a night. The second week improved slightly to 5h a night. However, the volume of sports and scheduling of energy boosting vs consuming activities allowed me to keep on going without severe effects. Mentally I was in a search as well. My head was full of feelings and processes that needed clarification. Feelings of (lack of) self-acceptance, my ex-girlfriend and the choices I made, loneliness and lack of real connection took up a lot of my headspace.
Apart from my colleagues I craved but lacked deeper connections with other people … I went out exploring the island but didn’t go for the touristic options in search for more local experiences. I tried to meet people but didn’t really find what I was looking for. That’s okay. Patience. I had a wonderful time with my first jungle experience, some adventure and saw the life of the “lowest” outskirts of their society.
My next stop was entirely different. The team here consisted of 30+ people contributing to a lot more complexity. During the first week there were still some international colleagues as well. It was a happy reunion to see them back and it added good (business) conversations to the mix. Along the way people left, leaving more responsibility opportunities open, which I happily took the initiative for! Once again, I gained the chance to explore new boundaries and a stage to present my drive for more. During these two weeks I also practiced French online with my lovely teacher Michele to prepare myself to give training in France after my two weeks holidays.
My sports grind dropped in here due to a higher workload and thus less free time. I stuck to my daily 5km runs and that was about it. A sporadic gym session or swimming session, yes.
I was very lucky that my weekend got extended due to a local holiday. During this weekend I had the perfect mix of exploring the city and meeting new people! Having a car made it easy to find enthusiasts to join me. After a night out I gathered three friends to go for a small road trip together. It was exactly what I was looking for! New, non-work related, young, traveling friends. Good conversations and an energetic vibe. We had a great time together … but also a quick goodbye. I am sure though that our paths will cross again, actually very soon! Additionally, I also got invited to the engagement party of the brother of a colleague. Again, a unique opportunity to experience the local culture.
Since this summer, content creation is added in the mix: Passion Fruit. Tuur and I stuck carefully to our weekly meeting and progressed, regardless of the time zones. Still in a search for the optimal workflow but getting there. Our weekly reel is a rather easy task. Editing our second YouTube video together, online, was a new challenge. We managed surprisingly good: a 6-hours session from scratch to finish. The result is a masterpiece of simplicity haha. Tuur balances out my perfectionism very well! Dream team.
Healthwise again not the best weeks but improving! Sleeping pattern still very inconsistent but overall, above 5h a night, leaning into my sweet spot of 6. I have again not prioritized my thoughts and feelings since there was more important stuff to do. Thus, no improvement, but also more distraction so less intensity in my own head. It was an active decision to leave it as is since my holidays were coming up. More time and a better setting to be mindful and filter my clustered brains.
My mental health and clearing my head were top priority after an insanely intense past six months. So much has happened and I have not had the time yet to reflect on it. The setting to do so is perfect here: two weeks on my own, disconnected from my known environment, surrounded by beautiful nature.
My travel started with a banger: running my first ultra in the highlands of Sarawak. Long story short: I registered for 70km but ended up running 100km. I had underestimated myself, felt the best runner’s high ever and got to experience an unimaginable level of peace. And as a nice bonus: I won the race! All of this without specific ultrarunning training. The level of my basic endurance is at its peak and there is still so much room for improvement. Afterwards I only stuck to my daily 5km runs. I finished with a blast as well: climbing Mt Kinabalu in a one-day summit push. This experience highlights why I love (endurance) sports;
FITNESS IS FREEDOM.
To enhance the circumstances for self-reflection I decided to not use any wifi or mobile data for 5 days to disconnect myself completely. It felt empowering for my mind. It revealed, not surprisingly, the constant urge to grab a phone for everything. I was already aware of it, but this experience made me even more conscious of the toxicity it adds to my (& other’s?) life. And one in particular: social media. The constant need for validation and the urge to capture everything, replacing the awareness in the moment. Suddenly I had so much more free time to be bored and think. It felt freeing. There was however also a downside. This world became so reliant on phones that you must find very creative ways to get some things done, requiring way more time and costing you more money due to the lack of information to compare online.
This offline practice made me reevaluate what type of content creator I want to be(come). Content creation goes hand in hand with social media. Tuur and I now make Instagram reels and YouTube video’s which also require us to capture a lot. But somehow, we both also dislike social media and the online lifestyle that is more and more apparent in this society. So, we are taking part in it while simultaneously wanting to be different and spreading another message. Passion Fruit is about LIVING with your senses in the NOW and not caring about all this reputation and validation nonsense since IT MUST COME FROM WITHIN YOURSELF. There certainly is a way to do this and we will get there. Trial and error.
Another side effect without internet connection: you must talk to other people. I am very social, so this is not a problem, but I still have my boundaries for (dis)comfort. It pushed me more because I couldn’t redeem these feelings online. I met lovely people and made meaningful connections with both locals and travelers. I am grateful for these interactions. Each one of them teaches you something. I’m looking forward to crossing paths again.
Lastly and maybe most importantly I want to highlight the Malaysian culture. This is my first experience in Asia, so I cannot differentiate between Malaysia vs Asian culture. But WOW I am impressed. The level of kindness, love and care for one another I felt here is far beyond what I am used to. People here actually care for strangers and suggest help without anything in return. They go the extra mile and give you more than they can afford for themselves. The feeling of unity and inclusion regardless of race, religion or relatedness. This is a feeling I am missing so hard in Belgium and maybe more broadly Europe. Everyone is so focused on themselves, friends & family receive love, but strangers, barely!
The past two months have been in an internal battle centered around self-acceptance. After Canada I went on a two-week trip through England with my brother. Here I became aware of it. Since I started this new job, my life changed drastically. I am living the life of my dreams and transitioned into a new life phase. But change comes with friction and requires time to adapt accordingly, both for your environment as for yourself. My relative position to my environment/friends and how I appear to them occupied my mind.
I have been “on the grind” for two years, and this has changed my personality and my relationships a lot along the way. Now, this hard work finally pays off … I have difficulty accepting this success and what it looks like to others. I love to publicly share my way of life while simultaneously living humble. My growth has been very consistent, yet invisible, over the past years. And now I suddenly have very visible results that are even to me too crazy to grasp. Thus, I struggle with how to express this without looking arrogant or as a show-off. In the end I also shouldn’t care … As long as I am truthful and honest to myself. I know deep in my hearth that this is just progress and not show-off.
An appropriate quote that resonates with me:
“Slow progress builds character; fast progress builds ego”
Creating a new life path together with Tuur and the creation of Passion Fruit in England has played a major role in this. By finally choosing each other as the number one priority in both our lives. Laying out a multi-years commitment towards a passionate life together, in which we work towards our craziest dreams. And potentially inspire other people along the way by creating content. If no one likes it. Fine as well. We love it and do it with whole our hearts. The possibility to express myself in my most pure and honest way has brought so much peace and acceptance. I now have a place to publicly share my progression and view on life to an audience without feeling pushy or arrogant. And I can share this wonderful journey with my dearest and most-loved person in the world; my brother Tuur.
My two weeks of solo traveling through Borneo have given me the chance to reflect and dive deep into my soul. I finally got the time to acknowledge my feelings. Finding balance between self-acceptance and the need for validation; loneliness and the desire for meaningful connection. Being conscious of these feelings and allowing myself to feel the duality of them. It brought peace and sparks gratefulness for the life I am living. It all melted together in the tattoo I got on my last day in Borneo.
I really don’t feel like going home. I am not ready for it. But I have no choice and, of course, it will all be fine and I will make it work. Being alone has contributed immensely to my peace of mind by completely disconnecting from external influences. This has allowed crucial thought processes about my personal development to occur. I don’t feel the need to interrupt this process at home and have them influenced by my environment. I need to do this alone.
Additionally, I don’t like breaking my routine. Breaking it slows down momentum. Suddenly I will have to take others into account. On top of my own way of life come expectations from my environment. I am aware these are with lovely intentions, and they are much appreciated. But they are also exhausting. I’ve arrived in such a good flow. Interrupting it for two weeks, to then restart my own flow again does not feel efficient. I’d prefer not to break the flow. Restarting costs energy.
During my time in Belgium, I must schedule all administrative tasks for my job that have piled up over the months. It is important to clean these and take time to evaluate my position with my management. Additionally, I can spend some time with my colleagues whom I haven’t seen a lot. I’d love to strengthen my bond with them in Brussels as well!
Conclusion: I am talking from an extreme position of luxury. Deal with the circumstances and enjoy my time with family and friends. Stick to my routine as much as possible and learn from it.
A more detailed insight of this trip is available on my Polarsteps where I share daily thoughts and pictures: www.Polarsteps.com/GingerKingB
All other links you can find here: https://linktr.ee/GingerKingB