In the past, he had excellent grades, but now he is suddenly not interested in anything; I used to talk to my parents, but now I always turn my parents away; Obedient children suddenly have several more scars on their wrists… In recent years, teenagers’ mental health problems have shown an upward trend. The reporter recently interviewed a number of teenagers’ psychological counseling institutions in Beijing and found that the counseling volume of some institutions has more than doubled in a year, among which the number of parents consulting teenagers’ depression has increased significantly. Adolescent emotional instability is more common, and self mutilation and even suicide tragedies occur from time to time.

Why are teenagers more and more vulnerable? What symptoms do children have that need the attention of parents and teachers?

symptom

[performance 1] sudden change of temperament

The son with excellent character and learning suddenly became “cold”

As a child, Ms. Zhao is proud of her son who has just passed Grade 10 in junior high school. But recently, Ms. Zhao found that her son seemed not interested in anything. When she came home from school, she always hid in her room and didn’t want to say more words to her parents. After secretly reading her son’s composition, Ms. Zhao seems to have found some clues. “Longing for freedom”, “why don’t I have weekends”, “why do I have so many classes every weekend”… The composition book is full of children’s negative emotions.

Indeed, in order to maintain good grades, my son’s weekends have been filled with all kinds of extracurricular training classes since primary school. Even if you go home after class, you don’t have leisure. You not only have to complete all kinds of homework inside and outside the school, but also ensure one to two hours of piano practice every day. Playing has long been a luxury dream for children.

“Son, I want to talk to you. If you have any ideas, you can talk to your mother.” Ms. Zhao took the initiative to talk to her son. After chatting for a while, the child seems to have gradually become more talkative from his initial indifference and impatience. “I want a dog.” The son made a request. “Then you should study hard. If you get full marks in all subjects in the final exam, mom and dad can consider buying you a puppy.” Looking at her son who is finally willing to open his heart to herself, Ms. Zhao said with joy. “Forget it.” The child’s heart closed tightly again and suddenly changed back to the cold attitude of the past.

Ms. Zhao also wanted to continue her efforts and try to communicate with her son, but no matter what she said, her son stopped answering. Finally, the child impatiently “invited” his mother out of the room, “I don’t want to talk to you again in the future. What’s the difference between what I said and what I didn’t say”.

[performance 2] angry and irritable

Sibling rivalry

“You’re a sister. Give way to your brother.” “Little brother, not sensible. Aren’t you sensible when you’re so old?” Mr. Zheng has a headache. His daughter, who is already in junior high school, is fighting with his 4-year-old brother every day for trivial things, and sometimes even “competing with each other”.

Speaking of it, my daughter is also full of grievances. His hard-working scientific experiment report was painted beyond recognition by his brother with a colored pen when he turned his face. Angry, my sister couldn’t help dragging her brother and began to beat her ass. His brother’s cry attracted the old man at home. Seeing that his sister was beating his brother on the ground, the old man was in a hurry and slapped his sister.

“Why do you all favor your brother? He bullied me. Why don’t you criticize him and beat me instead.” My sister burst into tears.

For a time, the family cried and howled, and the noise became a pot of porridge. Mr. Zheng, who lives in “hot water” every day, is very helpless. The old man’s deep-rooted idea of favoring grandchildren and son preference makes it difficult for the old man to change his mind. Mr. Zheng usually can only ask his daughter to respect the old and love the young as much as possible, but his daughter is stubborn and refuses to let his brother live or die. His family is noisy and restless every day. “I don’t know how to communicate with my daughter. It’s a headache.”

[performance 3] self harm

The daughter suddenly had several more scars on her hands

Recently, Ms. Wang, Xiaoli’s (pseudonym) mother, accidentally found several scars on her daughter’s wrist and felt something strange.

At the beginning, the daughter only said that she was accidentally scratched. After repeated questioning by Ms. Wang, the daughter revealed the truth. It turned out that she cut it with a blade. Ms. Wang had to take her child to a psychologist.

It turns out that Xiaoli’s self mutilation comes from the violence of the family environment. Xiao Li’s relationship with her parents was not very harmonious since she was a child on the second day of this year. Her father always likes to beat and swear. “Almost every day I can hear him scold my mother, and the words used are the worst.” Xiao Li told the counselor that she was often beaten and scolded by her father. Sometimes her father would scold her just because she didn’t do a very small thing well.

Ms. Wang chose to divorce because she couldn’t stand her husband’s beating and scolding for many years, but the two still lived together in order to create a complete family for their children, which led to a violent family atmosphere that continued to affect Xiaoli. Psychological counselors believe that for Xiaoli, only by hurting her body with sharp tools can she release and alleviate the pressure from her family. At first, she just gently scratched her wrist with a hard object. It’s hard for parents to find, “if I find it, I’ll say I hurt it accidentally.” Over time, gently scratching her wrist could not relieve her inner anxiety and pressure. Only when she rowed more and more, she was found by her mother until she was bleeding and injured.

Probe cause

Emotional stress is difficult to release, resulting in children’s psychological vulnerability

Why are today’s children so vulnerable, and even some children will have a tendency to depression? Why do children rebel and don’t like to communicate with their parents after entering puberty?

In this regard, Zong Chunshan, director of Beijing Youth Legal and psychological counseling service center, said that the play, communication and exchange between children and their peers and brothers and sisters are actually an important outlet for their own emotions and pressure. Especially after children enter puberty, they gradually move towards society, and the weight of the relationship with classmates and peers will even gradually surpass the relationship with their parents. But now many children at the age of junior and senior high school are the only child themselves and have no brothers and sisters to grow up with at home; At ordinary times, there is great pressure to enter school, and there is no partner who can have close contact and play together after class. under these circumstances