Before I say anything about “techniques” or “communication,” I need to be honest:I come from a science background — analytical chemistry.Then I moved into accounting, finance, investing, business…And somewhere in between, I fell in love with writing.

Back in my early business days, I was obsessed with marketing and sales.It was so complicated, it made my brain hurt.

These days, I’m figuring things out as I go, and I’ve picked up a few things worth sharing.But I say this upfront so no one mislabels me or puts me in the wrong box.

The fifth technique I often use in communication is a mix of advance-retreat and tone-control — straight out of the creative writing toolbox.

In fiction, writers sometimes get annoyed at their characters.“Why are you saying one thing and doing another?”Characters can be stubborn — like kids.If you don’t get their quirks, they’ll mess with you.

Writers often end up both scolding and soothing them.Still mad, still gentle. That’s how it is.

I was going to only talk about “advance-retreat” in communication — which sounds like military strategy.But it fits.

When talking to experts or artists — people already successful — I step back.I offer, suggest, leave space.They don’t care much anyway, but I do it for good reason.(I’ll share that reason in another piece.)

When speaking to those who feel lost, stuck, or searching —I take the lead.My tone becomes slightly “mentor-ish,” talking about life, effort, direction…Not to preach, but to offer stability — like a lighthouse.

Sometimes, I stay silent.Everyone’s an adult here.

But then I remember the war zones, starving kids, the disabled man selling tissues by the street just to buy food.And I realize — I can’t stay silent.

My true role is support,But with no one else around, I temporarily lead.

Ironically, this technique?ChatGPT helped me see it.But honestly, I don’t start from technique.I start from heart.And technique just finds its way into my words.

#hoalefinan