Deng Chao and Sun Li, who have been in love for nearly ten years, are still full of fun in their daily life.

Recently, Deng Chao did something again.

He posted a piece of calligraphy of his wife Sun Li on his microblog, while he lay down beside the long rice paper and put on a look of falling to the ground.

Netizens asked him why he took photos, and Deng Chao replied: “because she said I didn’t have paper length.”.

It has become normal for the couple to share their funny daily life on the Internet.

Once, Deng Chao gave people the impression of being a playboy. Rumors of marriage change and cheating were frequently spread on the Internet.

However, in recent years, Deng Chao had no scandal, successfully transformed into a “big director” with a total box office of more than 10 billion, and turned into a “child and female slave” at home.

I’m afraid Sun Li didn’t dare to think about the happy days of the four members of the family.

This woman, who was deeply influenced by her parents’ failed marriage and even full of fear of marriage since childhood, made her husband in the “impetuous entertainment circle” die hard on herself and let each other willingly interpret every role in marriage.

It makes people wonder how she did it?

A woman who has the skill to control her husband must have her “killer mace”.

In the biography of Zhen Huan, she takes the means of capturing men to the extreme. She is hidden, uncertain and unpredictable, which is the “three no women” pursued by most women.

However, in reality, Sun Li used an alternative “three noes” to “clean up” her husband Deng Chao.

take it easy

Slowly dig each other’s truth

Back in 2005, Sun Li and Deng Chao first met because of the TV series “happiness is like a flower”.

At that time, Deng Chao was a “crazy person”. As soon as he appeared, it would warm up the atmosphere. Sun Li was deeply impressed by his self-confidence and openness.

Perhaps it was because she had been a soldier that Sun Li lost a whine of a Shanghai woman and had more righteousness and frankness. Coupled with her special love for small animals, Deng Chao was fascinated by it.

A year later, the photos of the two playing in Sanya were exposed, and the relationship between the two surfaced.

After that, they fell in love, got married and had children. While running their own small family of 1 + 1 = 4, they cultivated their own career.

Many people say that they must know each other completely before they can live such a warm life.

In fact, on the contrary, Sun Li told the truth in an interview:

After he became a director, I found that I didn’t know him at all. His bravery and delicacy on the set is something I have never seen in my life. Every time I cooperate, I will find him different.

It’s too difficult to know my other half. It’s hard for me to say with certainty that I really know Deng Chao. Maybe after a lifetime, he is still a stranger to me.

As she grows older, Sun Li realizes that it’s easy to love someone, but it’s not enough to really understand someone, even if it takes a lifetime.

Psychologist Jung said that everyone has a “personality shadow”, which is the part of personality that goes with him but is not recognized.

Using the “not in a hurry” mentality to explore each other’s true side requires a very broad mind.

Sun Li once revealed at a press conference that she had a very “Crazy” stage.

She wanted to tie Deng Chao around her for 24 hours so that she could understand everything about his past.

Over time, their communication has become a routine. Marriage seems to be in the workplace and has no interest at all. It is difficult for each other to live a normal life in a tense and repressive atmosphere.

In the era of “fast food emotion”, slow has become a luxury in emotion.

When the emotional crisis comes, we always firmly believe that “as long as the other party completely reveals his heart, we can solve the problem.”

But often this quick way of understanding will only suffocate your partner.

Once there are more means than sincerity and more IQ than EQ, marriage will become utilitarian and insipid.

After learning from the bitter experience, Sun Li decided to let go of each other and herself, and the two talents regained their comfortable rhythm.

Not pleasing

Do not sacrifice current happiness for anyone

In 2011, Sun Li was on the rise in her career. She made a major decision to get married and have children.

At that time, everyone objected. They knew that the golden period of an actress’s acting career was too precious. A new generation of beautiful flowers emerged one after another. Once they made a wrong choice, they would be easily eliminated by the market.

Even her agent Guo Si repeatedly advised her to think about it.

Facing the dissuasion of the outside world, Sun Li decided to “not please” anyone.

But the result is not as bad as the outside world thinks.

A few months after she married Deng Chao, Sun Li became the “Queen of domestic dramas” after the fire of the starring “Legend of Zhen Huan”.

Many years later, in an interview, Sun Li reviewed the mental journey before marriage: “they are not me, they only see Sun Li outside. I don’t want to worry too much, just want to enjoy the best arrangement in my life.”

Choose a family in the rising period and converge when it is popular. Don’t please others, don’t hurt yourself, she lives very thoroughly.

Sun Li’s plays are one fire and one fire, and her career and family are open at the same time, because she knows the choice.

In 2018, Sun Li won the “best actress” award for “flowers bloom in that year and the moon is full”. She said: “I have acted in two TV dramas in the past four or five years. In fact, I spend all my time with my children. Now that my children have grown up, I have more time to shoot and act better and more seriously.”

She loves children and acting.

So she traded the low output of one play a year for time to accompany her family, but at the same time, she continued to polish the acting skills of each play and beat herself with extraordinary self-discipline.

She constantly adjusted the balance between family and career, defined her pursuit, and abandoned it at the same time.

Sun Li loves acting and Deng Chao loves being a director. They are perfect for each other. They never compromise because they please each other, and do not sacrifice their pursuit because of their family.

The philosopher Kant said that the most terrible thing is that one person must obey the will of another person.

Many people are used to pleasing others and being submissive.

In fact, it is to covet a familiar security.

With obedience, compromise, to adapt to marriage, parents, partners… But finally abandoned the real yourself.

However, the more self-contained people are, the more unwilling they are to please others, and the less they need others to please themselves.

Without prejudice

See the differences

Not long ago, Sun Li posted a microblog commemorating her 9 years of marriage, describing it in detail