Big projects can be ovewhelming. Small tasks are manageable. All big things are made up of many small things. “The giant tree started from the smallest seed.” We are attracted to the big, the grandiose, the massive narratives. But the joy comes from mindfully absorbing the inherent beauty of the smallest, seemingly meaningless or even pointless, part that makes up the whole. Not just seeing the trees. Rather, seeing the leaves and the bark. And the droplet delicately clinging before it falls ...

Big projects can be ovewhelming. Small tasks are manageable. All big things are made up of many small things. “The giant tree started from the smallest seed.” We are attracted to the big, the grandiose, the massive narratives. But the joy comes from mindfully absorbing the inherent beauty of the smallest, seemingly meaningless or even pointless, part that makes up the whole. Not just seeing the trees. Rather, seeing the leaves and the bark. And the droplet delicately clinging before it falls ...

I was caught up in a vortex of a problem. My chest and back muscles were tense. My voice, heightened. Patience was wearing thin, like a threadbare coat. The feeling in my gut, really outside of my gut, was like I was wearing a tire around my waist, instead of a hula hoop. How would I fix it? How could I make it all go away so I could feel the ever elusive tranquility, like floating on the ocean during a beautiful sunset? I was caught up in my own world of problems. Nearly totally absorbed. Th...

I was caught up in a vortex of a problem. My chest and back muscles were tense. My voice, heightened. Patience was wearing thin, like a threadbare coat. The feeling in my gut, really outside of my gut, was like I was wearing a tire around my waist, instead of a hula hoop. How would I fix it? How could I make it all go away so I could feel the ever elusive tranquility, like floating on the ocean during a beautiful sunset? I was caught up in my own world of problems. Nearly totally absorbed. Th...

Spinning around and around many times quickly in a row, we get disoriented. The ground feels unstable. The mind feels like scrambled eggs. Like being tossed wildly by a big wave at the ocean. We immediately know we’re out of whack. The need is for a recalibration. But there’s a phenomenon of the decalibration. Sometimes it’s sudden and it’s obvious. But sometimes it’s a gradual erosion of self-discipline, self-awareness, and contentment. Sometimes it’s clear it’s happening, like watching an i...

Spinning around and around many times quickly in a row, we get disoriented. The ground feels unstable. The mind feels like scrambled eggs. Like being tossed wildly by a big wave at the ocean. We immediately know we’re out of whack. The need is for a recalibration. But there’s a phenomenon of the decalibration. Sometimes it’s sudden and it’s obvious. But sometimes it’s a gradual erosion of self-discipline, self-awareness, and contentment. Sometimes it’s clear it’s happening, like watching an i...

Like floating in a pool or the ocean, the sensation is all encompassing. Touching every part of the body, it’s like a wetsuit of vibration, of energy. Tingling, it feels like there is no exit. No reprieve. The mind races for an explanation, for assurance that “it’s going to be ok,” but the body says, “not so fast.” Not that it won’t be ok. No one knows. But the choice is to run or to surrender. Running creates a chase. It’s going to catch up and the sensation is going to reemerge, perhaps str...

Like floating in a pool or the ocean, the sensation is all encompassing. Touching every part of the body, it’s like a wetsuit of vibration, of energy. Tingling, it feels like there is no exit. No reprieve. The mind races for an explanation, for assurance that “it’s going to be ok,” but the body says, “not so fast.” Not that it won’t be ok. No one knows. But the choice is to run or to surrender. Running creates a chase. It’s going to catch up and the sensation is going to reemerge, perhaps str...

At first, it’s subtle. Barley noticeable. Just a small bubble, like one a kid would blow from a soap bottle. But, it gradually grows outward, taking up more space, applying pressure to your stomach, your intestines. Pushing up. Pushing down. Pushing out. Until it’s impossible to ignore. It’s not going anywhere until you decide to release it. But you can’t. It may not be the right time or the right place. But the awareness of it has grown until it’s nearly all consuming. It’s the sole focus of...

At first, it’s subtle. Barley noticeable. Just a small bubble, like one a kid would blow from a soap bottle. But, it gradually grows outward, taking up more space, applying pressure to your stomach, your intestines. Pushing up. Pushing down. Pushing out. Until it’s impossible to ignore. It’s not going anywhere until you decide to release it. But you can’t. It may not be the right time or the right place. But the awareness of it has grown until it’s nearly all consuming. It’s the sole focus of...

Like a giant wave in the distance, the thought grows. It picks up speed. It grows in size. The body tenses. The pupils contract. The world becomes smaller. What should be a range of possible outcomes collapses into a moment. Finality. It feels awful. I want to cry. To scream. The grief feels so real, constricting me, like a massive boa constrictor, draining the life energy from my body to the point where I can’t imagine anything beyond. It’s like there’s no future and time has stopped. The wo...

Like a giant wave in the distance, the thought grows. It picks up speed. It grows in size. The body tenses. The pupils contract. The world becomes smaller. What should be a range of possible outcomes collapses into a moment. Finality. It feels awful. I want to cry. To scream. The grief feels so real, constricting me, like a massive boa constrictor, draining the life energy from my body to the point where I can’t imagine anything beyond. It’s like there’s no future and time has stopped. The wo...

Binary thinking feels like it makes life simpler. Nuances don’t need to be dealt with. The definition of success or failure is clear. It’s a particle. A point. Non-binary thinking feels like it can make life more challenging. Nuances are considered. Definitions are muddled. It’s a wave of possibilities. But, when binary and when non-binary? When to keep the wave alive and when to collapse it to a point? My head hurts, telling me one thing, arguing for clarity so it can kick into planning mode...

Binary thinking feels like it makes life simpler. Nuances don’t need to be dealt with. The definition of success or failure is clear. It’s a particle. A point. Non-binary thinking feels like it can make life more challenging. Nuances are considered. Definitions are muddled. It’s a wave of possibilities. But, when binary and when non-binary? When to keep the wave alive and when to collapse it to a point? My head hurts, telling me one thing, arguing for clarity so it can kick into planning mode...

It’s probably a survival mechanism. How to anticipate the upcoming harsh winter. But the ability to imagine awful scenarios playing out can hurt us as well as help us. Yes, “plan for the worst, hope for the best” is good practical advice and should be followed. But the sadness that comes from imagining awful futures sits deep in our bones. It weighs on our shoulders. It tugs at our hearts. It puts the bags under the eyes and activates the tear ducts. How to imagine them, prepare for them, and...

It’s probably a survival mechanism. How to anticipate the upcoming harsh winter. But the ability to imagine awful scenarios playing out can hurt us as well as help us. Yes, “plan for the worst, hope for the best” is good practical advice and should be followed. But the sadness that comes from imagining awful futures sits deep in our bones. It weighs on our shoulders. It tugs at our hearts. It puts the bags under the eyes and activates the tear ducts. How to imagine them, prepare for them, and...

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been watching a building go up. It’s six stories high. There’s a crane. There are trucks. There’s a lot of material. This morning, however, the only thing I heard was the sound of one hammer. An entire six-story structure, full of rooms, wires, windows, concrete, metal and more. And the only sound, for that moment, was one tiny hammer. But without that one hammer, the entire building does not get completed. Over the course of our lives, we build massive meta-stru...

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been watching a building go up. It’s six stories high. There’s a crane. There are trucks. There’s a lot of material. This morning, however, the only thing I heard was the sound of one hammer. An entire six-story structure, full of rooms, wires, windows, concrete, metal and more. And the only sound, for that moment, was one tiny hammer. But without that one hammer, the entire building does not get completed. Over the course of our lives, we build massive meta-stru...

I went for a swim in the sea yesterday. It was fascinating to observe how, no matter how much I intended to go straight and stay aligned with the rope, I would inevitably be pushed off course. So, I just started to relax and realize that, periodically, I’d need to just look around and see where I was, put forth a bit more effort to get back (mostly) to where I wanted to be….and then the process (kind of a wave function itself) would start again. I wasn’t in there long enough to develop an int...

I went for a swim in the sea yesterday. It was fascinating to observe how, no matter how much I intended to go straight and stay aligned with the rope, I would inevitably be pushed off course. So, I just started to relax and realize that, periodically, I’d need to just look around and see where I was, put forth a bit more effort to get back (mostly) to where I wanted to be….and then the process (kind of a wave function itself) would start again. I wasn’t in there long enough to develop an int...

Every now and then, I “break ranks.” It’s a source of (perhaps egotistical) pride that I have strong self-discipline. But, sometimes, that discipline just goes entirely out the window. Well, maybe not entirely, but pretty far. It used to be that this would happen and, while it was happening, I would constantly berate myself for the fact that it was happening…which made it all the worse. While I’m not 100% okay with it, now I’m slowly starting to realize that, on occasion, these moments can be...

Every now and then, I “break ranks.” It’s a source of (perhaps egotistical) pride that I have strong self-discipline. But, sometimes, that discipline just goes entirely out the window. Well, maybe not entirely, but pretty far. It used to be that this would happen and, while it was happening, I would constantly berate myself for the fact that it was happening…which made it all the worse. While I’m not 100% okay with it, now I’m slowly starting to realize that, on occasion, these moments can be...

There’s an interesting phenomenon when you watch the sun set over the horizon at the water’s edge. It’s the speed. Most of the time, I’m not really aware of the speed of the sun across the sky. Over hours, sure, but minutes and seconds? Not really. But at sunset, at least for me, it’s really noticeable. The descent and the disappearance. It all happens so quickly. Like, if you blink, you’ll miss it. I found myself both grasping and letting go at the same time. Wanting to savor those final mom...

There’s an interesting phenomenon when you watch the sun set over the horizon at the water’s edge. It’s the speed. Most of the time, I’m not really aware of the speed of the sun across the sky. Over hours, sure, but minutes and seconds? Not really. But at sunset, at least for me, it’s really noticeable. The descent and the disappearance. It all happens so quickly. Like, if you blink, you’ll miss it. I found myself both grasping and letting go at the same time. Wanting to savor those final mom...