Have you ever thought that we might be living in another "The Truman Show"? Our lives are not an entertainment show for others, but a fraud to ourselves which is created by our brains. That is exactly how I felt these days.

We have been in here for a month now. Everything is quite normal, which is abnormal to me. The wife is cooking, the kid is going to school, the neighbors are so nice and talkative, and the gardeners say Hi every morning.

I wake up every day, Tina serves me breakfast and then takes Bette to school.

But something just ain't right. I'm getting anxious.

Surrounding me are pink daisies. Tina bought them from the flower market.

"Okay, stop it. Stop studying me like this!"

I’m yelling. I think I gonna lose my mind, I'm on a dangerous edge right now.

"What are you doing? Tina. Why are you staying with me every second? Don't you get anything to do?"

Her nose nearly approached mine.

"You're my priority now, L. I do everything for you."

She whispered. Her sound was deep and husky, it could get me drunk like whiskey.

But I don't trust her.

The way she looked at me, I was sure she was trying to manipulate me.

She's like a snake, seeking every spot to break in. Her eyes are sort of catlike, so wild. Her lips are full, her skin is incredibly smooth and bright. And yeah, she has very delicate features.

"L, are you alright?"

She came closer and wanna touch my face. I flinched.

"Sorry, I can't help myself…“

She gently lifted my chin with her fingers. Made me look at her eyes straightly.

“You have a lost look in your eyes…so direct and also chilling. Sometimes I can feel that you're totally focused yet almost entirely inaccessible. L, My angel, you're flung out of space.”

I was smelling her fresh breath. A little dizzy. The whole world suddenly disappeared, only she and I.

“L, I am confused.”

She’s playing with my hair, curling on her fingers.

“My feelings for you are getting strange, I wanna dig deeper but I'm worried I will scare you away…"

She pulled my hands on her back sliding. Soft and sweaty.

"What do you want from me? Tina."

I took a deep breath trying to keep my mind sober.

"You. Always you!"

That word made my heart beat harder for a while. Damm, I knew women's nice words would kill me one day.

She pulled my hand going down, sliding inside, drawing circles.

Her lips half opened waiting. Her finger came inside my mouth playing with my tongue. Salty. She sat on my leg, rubbing. I was getting hot. Tina was losing her breath...

I smelled the pink daisies. The whole world was pink.

And the doorbell rang.

"Mom, I am home. Open the door please."

Ahh, my dear Bette! Just in time!!

I pushed Tina away and escaped ASAP.

"How's your day going kiddo? Anything fun?"

I hold Bette tightly, ahh I like her smell like sunshine. She's not like a dying puppy anymore, more like a sunflower chasing me all the way.

"So much fun, Mom. We are learning quantum physics."

"Wow, that's great. Can you understand that? Is it hard to study?"

"Miss Smith said I am so talented. We all love her, her classes are so interesting."

Bette was so happy, I supposed this was the first time she got encouragement from others.

"Keep working, kiddo. Use what feels right. Throw away the rest. You'll achieve something in the future, I have faith in you."

I don't know where will I be in the future, maybe can't be by her side, but still wanna give her some support.

"Love you, Mom. Would you brush my hair?"

I could see her ears turning pink. She's like a doll, so cute. I can't help but kiss all over her cheek.

It's amazing being a Mom. Dress her, bathe her, comfort her to sleep. Her small hands - put on my chest, leg on my hip, she likes to smell me when she has nightmares.

I never thought I would have a kid one day. My wife in my last life, Carol, always wanted some kids, but I thought kids were a burden and never wanted them... Oh, how cruel I was to Carol.

Bette's hair was so soft, like the silk.

I could not stop but kept thinking deeper, what changed me?

I still remember the first time when Bette tried to hug me, I pushed her down subconsciously, but my heart twitched a little bit. Since that, I started to pay attention to why my mind and my body react differently.

Bette was still a stranger to me at that time, and I never like any strangers to come too close to me, I needed a clear boundary. But that twitch made me feel compassion for Bette and also made me feel bad when I let her down which is really terrifying.

It made me think, who is taking control of me inside? Am I really enjoying being a mom, or something make me think in this way?

I am not like who I was anymore. And I don't think anyone or anything can change me in such a short time. Unless it is my new brain that is changing me and making me feel real about all these fake feelings.

"L, Bette is ready for a bath. Will you join us?"

Every time!! When I am about to figure out something, always someone interrupts me.

"Thanks, I'm fine here. You two enjoy it."

"Mom, come join us, I can give you a massage. Please."

Bette jumped on my knee. Kisses on my whole face. She hanging on my neck, I held her carefully and went to the bathroom. Took off all the clothes.

I was shocked when I realized I was sitting in the bath with them. Tina and Bette were blowing the bubble. And then Bette tried to tickle me and make us laugh.

I never liked this kind of intimacy, even when I was with Carol, my true love, we never shared the bath together.

This sacred moment should only belong to me, I can feel the cold water flow on every inch of my skin, every corner of my darkness, washing away all the dirt and making me chill which could remind me I am still alive. Such a special solo moment! Who took it away from me?

“Mom, I am so happy now, it's like living in my dream. I hope this can last forever.”

Bette put her warm hands on my shoulder and sat on my belly, giving me a big squeeze. She was laughing showing all her teeth out. I was holding her back, Tina kissed her hair.

"How can you tell whether you're in a dream or reality?"

I stared at Tina.

"Can you feel anything here?"

Tina caressed my thigh. I felt a shiver. Couldn't answer her.

“You have all kinds of feelings, right? You got hungry and thirsty, you could smell the flowers and laugh as loud as you wanted. So you're real here, not in a dream.”

She started to massage my feet.

Yeah, all these feelings are real, but there's still another possibility, which is that my mind is aware that I am in a dream, but it believes I can eventually wake up from the dream, so it doesn't give me any warning.

So it's possible that my brain is building a "The Truman Show" for me.

But why is it doing this? What's the meaning behind it?

"Mom, are you falling asleep? Let's go to bed then. The water is turning cold."

I opened my eyes and wiped her dry.

We just lay down, and I felt Tina came to bed as well. Her breasts were squeezing my back. I lowered my voice.

"Tina, you get your own bed."

"I know. So do you."

"It's different. Bette needs me here."

"And you need me too."

"What? I don't need you at all. I am fine by myself."

"No, you're not okay to be alone, L. You need me to stop you from overthinking."

"Okay, okay, but not in here all right? Bette is almost asleep."

I caught her sliding hands.

"L, why can't you just enjoy the present? Is it so hard to believe we truly love you and want you here with us?"

Her eyelashes shaking.

"What are you struggling for? L. Fighting something that doesn't exist? Avoiding your true feelings?"

Her fingers were painted on my face.

"You're free, L. Although you never mentioned where were you from and why you were here. But you're totally free and a miracle in here. Why can't you see that?"

Her words were like a bolt of lightning.

Yeah, she's right on some points.

Should I trust her? What if this is a trap? The organization behind her is huge, what if this is an experiment, they are watching me somewhere somehow? Did they bring me here, or did I come in here by accident?

Ohh my messy mind will explode one day.

"L, Babe, look at me."

"Don't you ever Babe me! Just call me L."

Only Carol can Babe me. She's the one and only.

"I'm sorry. Just tell me, please. What can I do for you? You look in pain. I wanna help. Anything!"

I was touched, to be honest. But I can't! I can't!!! Damm!

Everything was breaking down.

Is it really important whether I am in reality or fantasy?

Does it really matter whether my brain is cheating on me?

So what if everyone is watching me without any privacy? Should I care?

Yeah, they love me. I couldn't believe more in this moment!

The love is the only thing that can't be controlled by anyone, anything. Why can't I just admit it?!

I was eventually relieved.

I kissed her hard.

This is my world now.