There are a hundred times when I was on a train ride, I realized my thought flow flourishes on the moving train, it calms the air around me, and makes me want to focus on thinking in the moment.

The train has a universe in it. The time we spent on it could extend into eternity; it is a test field of our consciousness, and how we spend our limited time on the train reflects how we spend our whole lifetime.

The future of humanity will never change unless everyone stops what they’re doing on the train bound for a pre-planned destiny; everyone only pretends to be busy with the same destination in their mind, to forget that the truth is everyone is heading over to nowhere, into a void land called death.

During the gap between birth and death, the struggle of human life and the process of dying is much slower if you think you have all the time on this train. Often, you won’t realize you're on a slow train to nowhere; it becomes a forgettable fact in everyday life, and somehow humans created routine and all kinds of entertainment as a way of self-deception from the truth: we are going into nothingness. The nothingness is the pure unknown, the oblivion, and the vanished existence.

But on the train of our life, we grow up in this very structured system, with all rules and laws, we feel free to break the window to breathe the air during the journey; however, it won’t change the fact that we are still on the fast-moving train with people who hold hopes or disappointments in this single way journey. No one can explain where we are going, but they know the only way to know it is to be on this train. During the long ride, they start to create dreams, making stories and passing on the fairy tales, to make the people who stay on the train feel there is something to look out for, between the day-to-day sunrise and sunset.

What is the point of all this? Everyone has their own answer, and no one has the answer. It’s just a blink of an eye, then it will be another ongoing chapter or ultimate ending.

I would think there are millions of pieces of me; they lived in every moment that we shared, continued our conversation at that point, and kept gathering around for a good old story and singing with joy, along with the nostalgic music.

I know having options is not an answer to my worries; having options only adds more problems to the insoluble puzzle. I lost many times in options, and kept living miserably in the chosen option to imagine the possibilities I have in another option, which made me unsatisfied and unsettled. I tried to make a conciliation with myself, as I had inner battles, and it became a never-ending journey to find peace within me.

I am the vessel. The universe pours into me. I hold, I overflow, I transform. Everything happens for a reason; our subconscious is the simulator itself.

We choose the things in our lives, including accidents, pains, tortures, and the ultimate ideological battle to fight for, before we subscribe to this train ride.

In another sense, I’m not grounded enough to feel the real pain of a human being, but do human beings evolve more if they could feel every emotion and feeling of others? Sympathy has a mysterious mask; it blinds humanity while facing an ethical dilemma. It is useful in peacetime but harmful during a cruel war. The history proves that humans become more productive and developed if we operate by following a robotic program.

Sometimes I have the thought: what if this world is the test field of wrong code, and we are just a coincidence? Every event looks like a logical pattern, as it is randomly distributed probabilities. Do we happen to live inside the whole code collision?

Luckily, whoever created this mega universe and set the rules for the game can silence us, destroy our bodies, but they cannot touch where the consciousness flows into.