There is such a young man who is irritable by nature and has difficulty controlling his emotions. His old father asked his son that if he could not control his emotions in the future, he would fix a nail on the wall in the backyard and wait for his emotions to stabilize. Pull the nail out again. So the young man followed his father's instructions. At first, he even set 30 nails a day, but every time the young man pulled out the nails, he deeply felt that the process of pulling out the nails required more effort than the act of setting the nails. Several times, so, the guy slowly began to reduce the chance of nailing, gradually, from 30 nails per day to 15, until he stopped going to the backyard to set nails for several days. Later, the old father brought the young man to the backyard and pointed to the wall board that was full of savage people. When he was out of control, the words he said were like putting nails in the heart. Even if the nails were pulled out, the scars would still be hard to recover.

I vaguely remember that the story was described in this way. It is fortunate that the young man has such a wise old father, who can use such a vivid method to let his son realize the true meaning of it. Thankfully again, I saw a story that made me and the guy in the story feel the importance of emotional management. If you are angry for one minute, you will lose 60 seconds of your happy life; what you say and do when you lose your mind will make you regret immediately; a high education is a threshold for you to enter the workplace, but high emotional intelligence can help you do well in the workplace . And so on similar words are all telling us that emotional management it is important.

Your ability to manage emotions is actually the quotient of your emotional management, commonly known as emotional intelligence. Expert research has pointed out that the difference between EQ and IQ is that a large part of IQ comes from heredity, and there is little chance of acquired change, but EQ can be improved through the guidance and efforts of others, so there is so much management. Learn from experts to study emotion management, and there are so many people who are looking forward to success in emotion management who don’t hesitate to take a related course.

So based on the improvement of my emotional management ability, I have consulted quite a few books, and now I will share with you what I have gained.

Enter the word "emotion" into Baidu, and there is such an explanation "it is a reaction to the environment". Faced with the same environment, such as a rainy day, different people will have different emotional experiences: those who meet to go out to play will feel disappointed, and farmers who are worried that the drought will affect their harvest will feel lucky. The key to different reactions is that people are different, so emotions are actually just a subjective reaction of people to the internal and external environment. Many times, the uncomfortable physiological reactions that emotions bring to us and the adverse consequences of their actions will make us feel that some emotions are bad. Yes, it is not. Emotions are neither good or bad, but a subjective reaction of us.

By analogy, it is not difficult to see from the definition of emotional management "the management of your own reactions to the environment" that the key to good emotional management lies in yourself, because it is a management of your own reactions, so It is said that you have 100% control over emotional management, and it depends on you, not on others. Many times, we often hear someone complaining after losing control of their emotions, "If it wasn't for his attitude, I wouldn't have such impulsive actions." In fact, this sentence is just to find a reason for our loss of control. The remote control of management has always been in our own hands. Once you have a request for the response of the other party, you will unconditionally hand over the remote control of your emotions to the other party, so it is inevitable to lose control.

The colorful colors are derived from the three primary colors of red, green and blue. Although there are hundreds of expressions of emotions, they can be summarized into four basic emotions: joy, anger, sorrow, and fear.

Joy and sadness are a pair of opposite emotions. When people achieve their desired goals and relieve tension and anxiety, the feeling of comfort is the emotional experience of joy; sadness is the emotional experience after the loss of the desired goal. Anger and fear are another pair of opposing emotions; usually when a person encounters an unpleasant thing, our autonomic nervous system will produce a flight or fight response, and when the opponent we encounter is stronger than us, we will take flight. , which is the emotional experience of fear; and when the other party is weaker than us, we will have war, which is the emotional experience of anger. Taking cats and mice as an example, an adult cat has 500 experience points for catching mice, and a weak mouse has 50 experience points against cats, so such a cat will immediately take an offensive stance; another cat has 100 experience points to fight against a cat. The mouse experience value is 150, then the cat may choose to avoid it; there is another cat with 300 experience value, and the mouse experience value of the battle is 250, then we will see the cat keep slapping the mouse with its paws , keep slapping until the mouse escapes without panting before attacking and winning. In our opinion, the third cat is playing with the mouse. If the third cat is injected with a tranquilizer, then this 300 experience is worth the cat will immediately Attack the mouse with 250 experience points, because the cat is slapping like this because it's scared. This is also understandable why drivers tend to lose control of their tempers. They can yell and make insulting gestures in the car when the traffic is not smooth. In fact, this is because people feel safe and fearless in the car, regardless of the situation. How, at least I have a car to protect me, will not face the crisis.