The pains in my head ever roaring, forever tormenting.

My mental awareness clouded by pains, so numbed by the madness of it all.

Everyday, it's one taking over of the great city after the next.

The pain and the numbness of my hands from pulling the trigger everyday.

The trigger!

Lives cut short by my actions, yet I must obey the land for fear of treason.

A whole city leveled to the ground.

Yes, leveled with women, children, strong men, suckling children, and children well hidden in their mother's wombs!

I wonder at my humanity.

I daily question if I still feel pain.

But the fatherland must be protected at all cost.

The pain is agonizing enough, but how long must the war continue?

A thought screamed through my head as the trigger pulled back again!

Pulled back by my finger!

The finger she has forever adored.

The same finger she loved to suck teasingly.

How do I comfort her that I'm no longer the same man?

No longer will the throes of love making be the same.

Because this war has changed me completely.

A shadow of myself. A shadow eclipsed by pain, anguish, regrets and anger at the power mongers.

I stared at night. At the dark sky wondering if I'd ever go home again.

I know she awaits my arrival.

But my homecoming excites me no more.

This wasn't what it was meant to be.

For I have seen what so many eyes have not. What so many mouths cannot utter.

No, my homecoming cannot be explained away with few words.

It is too shocking to please an expectant lover.

For this man here is far gone to be welcomed back into a sane clime.

With drums, harps and stringed instrument - he shouldn't be seen among men.

But I have done my part. I have fulfilled my obligation to my country.

And if they refused to welcome me because I pulled the trigger far too longer,

Then let the one I cherish so much embrace my homecoming with the sucking of the only finger that pulled the trigger ever so teasingly!

The pains in my head ever roaring, forever tormenting.

My mental awareness clouded by pains, so numbed by the madness of it all.

Everyday, it's one taking over of the great city after the next.

The pain and the numbness of my hands from pulling the trigger everyday.

The trigger!

Lives cut short by my actions, yet I must obey the land for fear of treason.

A whole city leveled to the ground.

Yes, leveled with women, children, strong men, suckling children, and children well hidden in their mother's wombs!

I wonder at my humanity.

I daily question if I still feel pain.

But the fatherland must be protected at all cost.

The pain is agonizing enough, but how long must the war continue?

A thought screamed through my head as the trigger pulled back again!

Pulled back by my finger!

The finger she has forever adored.

The same finger she loved to suck teasingly.

How do I comfort her that I'm no longer the same man?

No longer will the throes of love making be the same.

Because this war has changed me completely.

A shadow of myself. A shadow eclipsed by pain, anguish, regrets and anger at the power mongers.

I stared at night. At the dark sky wondering if I'd ever go home again.

I know she awaits my arrival.

But my homecoming excites me no more.

This wasn't what it was meant to be.

For I have seen what so many eyes have not. What so many mouths cannot utter.

No, my homecoming cannot be explained away with few words.

It is too shocking to please an expectant lover.

For this man here is far gone to be welcomed back into a sane clime.

With drums, harps and stringed instrument - he shouldn't be seen among men.

But I have done my part. I have fulfilled my obligation to my country.

And if they refused to welcome me because I pulled the trigger far too longer,

Then let the one I cherish so much embrace my homecoming with the sucking of the only finger that pulled the trigger ever so teasingly!