if your day starts with “what do i need to do?” instead of “how am i?”

Some mornings don’t begin with a breath. They begin with a buzz.

Notifications. Kids. Deadlines. Bills. Unread emails. People who need you.
People who forgot to ask how you are.
Your brain opens tabs before your eyes do. And energy doesn’t just feel low - it feels stolen.

When that happens often enough, exhaustion stops being a moment - it becomes your background noise.
You don’t rest - you just pause.
You don’t live - you complete tasks.
You don’t choose - you just keep going.

But that’s not weakness.
That’s a system that’s been on too long without maintenance.
A heart that didn’t get heard.
A body that’s still waiting for kindness.

_________________________________________

So what now?

Not “how do i push through”, but “how do i care for myself before i collapse?”

Step one: admit the deficit

The bravest thing you can do is say: “i’m not okay. i need support.”

You don’t have to be broken to ask for help.
You don’t need to burn out to deserve rest.
If the light flickers, you don’t wait for the blackout, you check the wires.

Step two: make care a ritual, not a reward

Self-compassion isn’t pity. It’s presence.

ask yourself in the morning: “how am i?”, not “what’s the plan?”
build a small ritual: favorite mug, warm shower, two minutes of silence, the scent of something calming.
allow yourself one useless, unproductive, beautifully human moment every day.

This isn’t luxury. This is nervous system hygiene.

Step three: asking for care is a skill, not a flaw

Sometimes strength is not holding it all together.
Tt’s saying:

“I’m running low. Can you just sit with me for a minute?”

or:

“I don’t need advice. I need presence.”

People who love you might still miss your signals.
They can’t read minds. But they can respond if you let them in.

The biology behind it

Harvard research shows: chronic stress lowers dopamine and serotonin levels. It messes with your sleep, digestion, focus, and mood. If you keep going without recovery, you risk burnout, brain fog, and even physical illness.

Rest isn’t a trend.
It's not a luxury.
It’s biology.

Your nervous system needs recovery to function. Anything that brings you back to yourself: quiet, breath, walking, cuddling a pet - isn’t extra.
It’s essential.

_________________________________________

Here’s your sticky-note reminder:

you don’t have to be perfect to be supported
you don’t have to “earn” your rest
you can slow down even if others are sprinting
you’re allowed to just be: not useful, not performing, just you

_________________________________________

If you’re reading this while running on 2% - don’t fix everything at once.

Choose one small thing.
Take care of yourself like you would a tired friend.
Even if no one else knows how hard it is - you do.
And that’s enough to begin.

pause.
breathe.
you matter.
you’re not alone.

if your day starts with “what do i need to do?” instead of “how am i?” - read this

if your day starts with “what do i need to do?” instead of “how am i?” - read this

Marina Iakovleva

if your day starts with “what do i need to do?” instead of “how am i?” - read this

_________________________________________

So what now?

Step one: admit the deficit

Step two: make care a ritual, not a reward

Step three: asking for care is a skill, not a flaw

The biology behind it

_________________________________________

Here’s your sticky-note reminder:

_________________________________________

If you’re reading this while running on 2% - don’t fix everything at once.

if your day starts with “what do i need to do?” instead of “how am i?” - read this

if your day starts with “what do i need to do?” instead of “how am i?” - read this

Marina Iakovleva

if your day starts with “what do i need to do?” instead of “how am i?” - read this

_________________________________________So what now?

Step one: admit the deficit

Step two: make care a ritual, not a reward

Step three: asking for care is a skill, not a flaw

The biology behind it

_________________________________________

Here’s your sticky-note reminder:

_________________________________________If you’re reading this while running on 2% - don’t fix everything at once.

if your day starts with “what do i need to do?” instead of “how am i?” - read this

if your day starts with “what do i need to do?” instead of “how am i?” - read this

Marina Iakovleva

if your day starts with “what do i need to do?” instead of “how am i?” - read this

_________________________________________

So what now?

_________________________________________

If you’re reading this while running on 2% - don’t fix everything at once.