I never expected that the greatest challenge I would face whilst working on a startup would be the existential struggle of figuring out what to work on.

I knew it would be hard to prioritise tasks, but this isn't just about picking what to do for the next few hours, this is about picking what to do for the next however many years of my life.

Recently, I listened to Mr Beast on Lex Fridman's podcast. I was inspired by his dedication and obsession to a single purpose, making the best video. It is clear that his obsession is the main contributor to his success, and the same goes for many other founders. He has a level of focus that is inconceivable if you aren't 1000% certain about your raison d'être.

The problem, I found, is that I don't have any single thing I am obsessed about. Sure, I have many things I really enjoy doing, but no single passion that I can commit my entire life to. It seems that that's what it takes to succeed as a founder, and I don't know if I'm prepared for that.

There are only a few reasons I can think of that would motivate someone to work as hard as you need to for a startup. Insanity, greed, selflessness, or responsibilities. None of which I have.

I shouldn't have been surprised, one of Paul Graham's most popular essays, How to do what you love, is about this topic. Most people never find something they can do that they love, let alone something they can obsess about.

Where to from here?

Perhaps the answer to my conundrum is that you don't have to find your raison d'être right away, but that any step in the right direction is good enough for now. Otherwise, I'll be spending a long amount of time aimlessly wandering. Premature optimisation is the most common flaw I find in myself and amongst other smart people, and the solution is to just start.

Still, I want to put in as much effort as I can making sure I don't regret my work. Because time is the one thing you can't replace.

If you are working through the same struggle I am, feel free to reach out to me to chat about it!

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