Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumbly.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!

Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!

Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't peeling well.

Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.

Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash!

Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.

Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems.

Why did the frog call his insurance company? He had a jump in his car.

Why did the cat go to medical school? To become a purr-fessional.

Why did the man put his money in the oven? He wanted to make some dough.

Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice.

Why did the ghost go to the bar? For the boos.

Why did the chicken go to the séance? To talk to the other side.

Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? He needed his space.