Think of the different aspects of your life: Family, Children, Friends, Work, School, Hobbies, Interests, Responsibilities, Etc. Envision each as of your life being assigned a different flowerpot.

These pots are empty at first but as you grow in life so does the flower in the pot. The soil and seeds are your foundation; your family members are the soil, your job title is the soil, your children are the soil, so on and so forth. Imagine yourself always being the seed in each flowerpot you’ve assigned. The seed is what needs nourishment; light, sun and overall care.

I feel as though life is so chaotic and crazy that at times we lose our sense of identity and forget that we’re individuals with specific likes, wants & needs. Think of the flowerpots as a way to organize your thoughts and energy. It’s a way to make sure that you’re not only taking care of your job or your house or your car or if you’re a parent, your children. We always need to invest time and energy into each aspect of our lives or else that relationship or aspect of our life will either remain stagnant or wither away.

I’ve struggled with balance my entire life. I’ve often lost my sense of self in relationships or have gone 0-100 with hobbies, interests and passions that quickly lose their lust. Just like a flower, if we over water a plant it will die as well. Anything in excess is problematic so we’re always searching for that perfect balance. I would consider myself a true chameleon because, for me, it was easier to focus my energy and attention on a relationship or a job or a hobby than it was for me to focus on myself. I looked in the mirror and I did not like what I saw. I’ve found that by thinking of my life in terms of different flowerpots it helps to keep me in check and makes it a little bit easier to see if I’m neglecting a certain aspect of my life or investing too much time or energy into that aspect.

NO MATTER WHAT, the most important flowerpot is the flowerpot assigned to yourself, as an individual and nothing else. My life has a flowerpot assigned to myself, to me as a partner in my relationship and to me as a parent as a part of my family. These are often overlooked or combined. Relationships are looked at as one, families are one but that is not the case. If you do not invest time, energy and nourishment into each different aspect then you will find yourself lacking balance. This is by no means a perfect model or exact science but it does allow my brain to differentiate certain roles and responsibilities I play and allows me to make sure I’m paying each the attention they deserve.

This is me, this is how my brain thinks, it may work for you and it may not but this is the Flowerpot Method.

mjm