my heart actually hurts a deep, deep, slow, tightness. it's got a thick viscosity and lingers like cough syrup it spans over my rib cage, is it because i'm losing so much weight? there's a tightness at the top of my stomach but it's screaming for food at the same time my jaw is clenched i find my shoulders to be tense, at all times when i write i often stop breathing where does the fear come from? what is the fear of? why is it easier to speak the things i'm feeling than it is to write it? why am i avoiding writing or producing things? am i? i've assigned myself so many different projects and can never find one that sticks, instead it's messy

her face flash's through my head throughout the day. sometimes voluntarily, other times involuntarily and often, i cry.

10-11-21

my heart actually hurts a deep, deep, slow, tightness. it's got a thick viscosity and lingers like cough syrup it spans over my rib cage, is it because i'm losing so much weight? there's a tightness at the top of my stomach but it's screaming for food at the same time my jaw is clenched i find my shoulders to be tense, at all times when i write i often stop breathing where does the fear come from? what is the fear of? why is it easier to speak the things i'm feeling than it is to write it? why am i avoiding writing or producing things? am i? i've assigned myself so many different projects and can never find one that sticks, instead it's messy

her face flash's through my head throughout the day. sometimes voluntarily, other times involuntarily and often, i cry.

10-11-21