sup bros its been awhile since i went inactive on this alt. so many of you asked “where Summer went?” so heres some thoughts i had the past month/few weeks that led me to be inactive.

before that, heres a background of me without doxxing myself too much.

well (after a rough night of getting rugged onchain 😉), i always wondered why I wasn’t ever happy even though i seemed to have my life “in order”. If yall didn’t know, I used to struggle alot back then with $.. I made alot towards the end of 2024 and early 2025, which basically solved all my financial problems and put me in a very comfortable position. i had been spending alot of time with my family, my partner, did pet sitting/boarding which I had always wanted to do, and even made many new friends with some of yall here on CT, giving/helping out in private. Basically, i started doing things which I never had the time or finances for in the past.

my thoughts on Religion, and how it affected me

i grew up in a VERY religious Christian family but only started going to church regularly since June 2024. after a personal encounter with God around Oct 2024, I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. i started volunteering, donating since then. though i always wondered why people around me in church seemed to be mostly successful people, and some of them were even rich. Now i’m not doubting anyones faith, but that is just my plain honest thoughts based on my personal experiences. i recalled back then when i was struggling alot, i remembered angrily thinking to myself multiple times “if there was a God, why has He forsaken me, why are people suffering, why can’t He solve all these problems.” and whenever my Mom and Dad talked to me about God in the past, I used to always say to her “i don’t have time for all this”.

I found that believing that God is in control from a position of success, and praising God when you aren't doing well in life takes a different kind of faith. . I belonged more to the first party unfortunately. When the onchain environment changed after LIBRA, I wasn’t as profitable as before. I gave back a significant amount to the market. Even when I hit a big win/streak, i was still guilty of thinking about coins while in church service, and my mind was constantly obsessed about the next trade.

It was then I truly realized it is much easier to praise God when things are going in your favor, whether it be feeling gratitude that a higher power is helping you, and you are afraid of losing that favor, or you just feel blessed and thankful. when things get tough, having trust in God truly takes a different kind of faith. I was slowly distancing myself away from God. Memecoins had become my idol. I prayed to God to help me become closer to Him again.

finding meaning in life and my plans

yet things are still going well. i still had alot, but I was somehow never satisfied… there was always something “missing”. I also missed working (professionally) in crypto as i used to work on a protocol/app with a team i been with since graduating from college. punting onchain no longer satisfied me anymore. they were all just numbers 300k, 200k, 100k? it was meaningless to me. yes really. i would get momentarily happy ofc whenever i made a profitable trade in size, but something always felt empty. I realized i lost the perception i had of money, as they were all numbers on a screen to me.

in an attempt to “change” my mentality, I started trading less, and started proactively finding work in crypto again. while interviewing, I also worked part time adhoc in different cafes, still doing pet sitting/boarding etc. It was then i realized that to the average person, earning money was not that easy as clicking a few buttons and hoping that coin went up enough to make their yearly salary in an hour. it was tough, but I am in a happier state now. I still punt onchain and keep up with the market meta but it no longer consumed me in an unhealthy way, and I no longer feel “empty”. I feel closer to God, and I am ready to start working in crypto again and having a more productive life.

to my frens who are going through a tough time, keep your head up and keep pushing forward. trust in God, work hard but also find some way to enjoy the process. you will look back as I had and reminisce what you had gone through in the past to get to where you are in the future. people often tell me “religion/God is a way to cope”. that is certainly not true to me, it is so tough when i am honest to myself and began questioning my own intentions when i realized certain things. it is also much easier to live life without restrictions. keeping faith and trusting in Him is certainly not easy when things aren’t going well.

and to my frens who are doing well but struggle to find meaning in your life, hopefully this relates to you and helps you in some way or another.