Pouring it all out, and then MetaMask timed out and fucking LITERALLY right after I typed “good job dude, I am proud of you” preceded by totally-uninhibited publicly confessed and visible vulnerability in long, long walls of paragraphs of thoughts almost making sense of text just going on and on and well shit man, I don’t have any way to get that back. It seems pretty silly - I mean, it seems like, universal, cosmic or something. I kinda thought maybe I would… ha. I don’t even know.
I have OCD and a social phobia. Hi.
I would really like to see a therapist. So I had this idea. Since I can never afford, well, anything - and don’t worry, I am fine, I am a grown adult who moved back home and isolated for two years after being a drunk for many, engaged to a lovely lady from/living in Germany (while I get stuck at customs at the beginning of a pandemic, sent home, blah blah blah it’s a great story, I will save you the stress, and me too, dammit, I don’t know if I ever get to unpack that shit entirely, or anything else for that matter, but it’s fine let me just get this overwith, uh, self, ok… yeah, not weird, cool) ahem engaged to a lovely woman across the sea, past-tense, was my fiancee - still very lovely and helpful actually, but no longer my fiancee. Uh, that was for a year or so. During the years of drunkenness. At the end of my drunkenness, thankyou-very-fucking much.
I had this idea. I make this little GAN art Squishy cute … OK they are SO CUTE OMG … fucking adorable little “Smol Squish Companions” I have been calling them. But you know, no one cares to buy your art when no one knows what it’s worth or why and no one else is there to sell it to them and I certainly fucking won’t, honestly, I’d rather - and have been - just giving them away, it is much preferable. I like that people like them so much! Also, I really would like to go to a therapist, did -- yeah… said that.
What if I can sell these little dudes, AND give some away. No wait wait wait. What if you, reader, could support - well I won’t lie to you - ME with YOUR money, uh, fuck. Yes really lol. I am not starving but I want and need this shit holy crap. And I don’t have a job, I have projects I work on, but I don’t leave the house, I can’t (social phobia).
What if I can sell my lil Squish Companions and also give them to people when I want to, and what if by selling them I can not be broke, I can afford therapy - ok, broke, and with therapy? Totally agreeable. In fact, it would be super therapeutic (alongside ACTUAL therapy please) to be able to raise money for other people out there that are suffering - no matter how fortunate or unfortunate otherwise, because listen, no one can invalidate your emotions, fuck anyone who tries, not that they ever really have, probably, maybe, Idunno, Idunno you. I might like to even get to know you - wait wait wait. I always over-oblige myself. I probably should not try to offer talk therapy right here like I almost did.
So maybe not the best delivery. Second try lol, remember… Uhm. Yeah.
I will use the money to help myself, and others if that’s how it works out. Maybe this never gets read, maybe I never show anyone. Whatever. Concisely: Money donated or in exchange for Smol Therapy Squish NFT critters here or wherever I post ‘em, I will make sure it goes to a good cause and that means not just me but others. Others can also help me with the distribution part of it all, if they really want. I mean. I really don’t want the responsibility of running like. Some huge practice. But I can be inspired and I love to be helpful, so certainly, I will keep my word. To the best of my capabilities. Honestly, I want help, and I want to help others… so here we are.. Smol Therapy Squish Companions.
I’ll mint the Squishie NFTs on Polygon because broke. Ha. Also why make people pay gas fees, waaaaaay better uses for that huge chunk of money. Make it a chunk of change ohh ok you see that? That was funny. I am feeling better. This is already serving its purpose. I got my next doctors appointment for my OCD medication, I DID THE THING!! YES! Good job dude. I’m proud of you - I am proud of myself, I fuckin’ love myself o_o WOAH. No it’s okay I say that a lot lol.
and here: twitter.com/Alchemyst0x
and no matter what, if you’re reading this, just as my mom always would say and does to this day say to me, I say unto you, reader: You are blessed, and you are a blessing, and those who bless you are blessed. Blessed be. (:
-Adam