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The RugMom Thinks It’s Nice That You Do That Computer Money Stuff
GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis. Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.” Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were ...
The RugTwitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...
The RugVitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...
The RugMom Thinks It’s Nice That You Do That Computer Money Stuff
GREAT FALLS — On a recent call with your mother, the subject of what you do for a living inevitably came up. You went on to explain, for the seventh time this month, how you now audit smart contracts for flaws and vulnerabilities, earning a combination of fiat and ETH on a biweekly basis. Your mom replied, “I don’t know what any of that means, but it’s really nice how you do that computer money stuff.” Early attempts to explain your vocation to your mother go back to early 2021 when you were ...
The RugTwitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...
The RugVitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...
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INTERNATIONAL WATERS — In the depths of Twitter Blue, there exists a reclusive and often misunderstood species known as the "crypto whale." The scientific community knows relatively little about these digital behemoths, but one thing is certain: they may soon face extinction.
These majestic creatures once openly roamed the OpenSeas, wielding immense power and influence in both the Pacific and Atlantic crypto markets with their vast amounts of digital assets.
However, recent research suggests they became too comfortable on their early adopter thrones failing to understand what others in the ecosystem know this vast digital kingdom is built on: the social layer.
The crypto whale's propensity for reclusive, self-serving, anti-social behavior has resulted in the population experiencing a drastic decline in the birth rate. This combined with price volatility, mass liquidations and erratic token migration behavior threaten the existence of these crypto leviathans.
This once mighty creature, accustomed to riding the tides of the market, now lays stranded and vulnerable, and the survival of the species depends on striking a delicate balance between the whales, natives, degens, traders and tourists alike as their extinction threatens us all.
By educating the crypto whale and encouraging socialization and the occasional adult beverage, we can strive to maintain the diversity and vitality of the crypto ecosystem for generations to come.
Don't let your local whale get beached.
For more mostly credible web3 news, follow @therugnews on Twitter and subscribe to our newsletter.
INTERNATIONAL WATERS — In the depths of Twitter Blue, there exists a reclusive and often misunderstood species known as the "crypto whale." The scientific community knows relatively little about these digital behemoths, but one thing is certain: they may soon face extinction.
These majestic creatures once openly roamed the OpenSeas, wielding immense power and influence in both the Pacific and Atlantic crypto markets with their vast amounts of digital assets.
However, recent research suggests they became too comfortable on their early adopter thrones failing to understand what others in the ecosystem know this vast digital kingdom is built on: the social layer.
The crypto whale's propensity for reclusive, self-serving, anti-social behavior has resulted in the population experiencing a drastic decline in the birth rate. This combined with price volatility, mass liquidations and erratic token migration behavior threaten the existence of these crypto leviathans.
This once mighty creature, accustomed to riding the tides of the market, now lays stranded and vulnerable, and the survival of the species depends on striking a delicate balance between the whales, natives, degens, traders and tourists alike as their extinction threatens us all.
By educating the crypto whale and encouraging socialization and the occasional adult beverage, we can strive to maintain the diversity and vitality of the crypto ecosystem for generations to come.
Don't let your local whale get beached.
For more mostly credible web3 news, follow @therugnews on Twitter and subscribe to our newsletter.
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