
Vitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...

Twitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...

Petty Thugs Look for Curve CEO
LONDON — Curve CEO Michael Egorov owes money all over the blockchain. The DeFI guru is 80 M in debt, leveraged to his eyeballs, and staring down the barrel of a margin call shotgun. Blockchains, and their protocol's, are notorious for being "unhuman", that is strictly ran on code. However, given the outsized position of Egorov's debt he now has several petty thugs passing his photo around town, and asking if, "anybody has seen him." Unfortunately the thugs are not that bright, and t...
Web3's mostly credible news source. We take money, seriously.

Vitalik Suspected of Extraterrestrial Origins
EARTH — Conspiracy theorists have taken to Reddit this week in a wild and unfounded notion that Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin is from a recently discovered planet located between Venus and Mercury. Redditors are calling the planet “Cryptomar.” The contention that the blockchain guru is from another planetary body is loosely based on conjecture that he “looks like an alien” and the fact that he put Earth as his location in his twitter bio.Vitalik lists twitter location as "Earth".Despite al...

Twitter Rebrands to “X” Commemorating Drop to 10th Best Social Media Platform
SAN FRANCISCO — In a celebratory move, Twitter CEO Elon Musk changed the name of the platform to “X” commemorating its spot on a list of social media platforms. According to HootSuite, it now ranks 10th behind powerhouses such as Truth Social and Holla. Before the new list was announced Musk was planning to rebrand his social media company as “X AE, v. non-child.” Employees breathed a sigh of relief. “Pretty sure we would have immediately lost all of our users if he named us that,” said Chief...

Petty Thugs Look for Curve CEO
LONDON — Curve CEO Michael Egorov owes money all over the blockchain. The DeFI guru is 80 M in debt, leveraged to his eyeballs, and staring down the barrel of a margin call shotgun. Blockchains, and their protocol's, are notorious for being "unhuman", that is strictly ran on code. However, given the outsized position of Egorov's debt he now has several petty thugs passing his photo around town, and asking if, "anybody has seen him." Unfortunately the thugs are not that bright, and t...
Web3's mostly credible news source. We take money, seriously.

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SAN FRANCISCO – FTX’s latest offering is not another token pair, or leveraged token; it’s chicken! FTX is days away from rolling out Sam Bankman-Fried Chicken, or SBFC.
“Crypto is the future, and we are committed to always offering you the best crypto products and experience,” says Sam Bankman-Fried. “But my real passion has always been mouth-watering, deliciously seasoned fried chicken.”
Bankman-Fried explained how this development came about. “A few months ago, I brought some leftover chicken that I had cooked the night before into the office. People started talking about how great it was, and it became a regular Friday thing. We were having a board meeting, and the CFO joked that chicken should be our next product. We all had a good laugh. But then everyone got really quiet. And that’s when we knew. This is real. We’re doing this.”
FTX will launch their Initial Chicken Offerings, or ICOs, in Austin, San Diego, and St. Petersburg, Florida.
All FTX users will receive a 10% discount on their first order of chicken (with purchase of two or more combo meals). Tornado Cash users are blocked from eating here.
If you want more of the hardest hitting headlines and articles straight to your inbox subscribe to The Rug’s Newsletter.
SAN FRANCISCO – FTX’s latest offering is not another token pair, or leveraged token; it’s chicken! FTX is days away from rolling out Sam Bankman-Fried Chicken, or SBFC.
“Crypto is the future, and we are committed to always offering you the best crypto products and experience,” says Sam Bankman-Fried. “But my real passion has always been mouth-watering, deliciously seasoned fried chicken.”
Bankman-Fried explained how this development came about. “A few months ago, I brought some leftover chicken that I had cooked the night before into the office. People started talking about how great it was, and it became a regular Friday thing. We were having a board meeting, and the CFO joked that chicken should be our next product. We all had a good laugh. But then everyone got really quiet. And that’s when we knew. This is real. We’re doing this.”
FTX will launch their Initial Chicken Offerings, or ICOs, in Austin, San Diego, and St. Petersburg, Florida.
All FTX users will receive a 10% discount on their first order of chicken (with purchase of two or more combo meals). Tornado Cash users are blocked from eating here.
If you want more of the hardest hitting headlines and articles straight to your inbox subscribe to The Rug’s Newsletter.
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