For those who don’t know, I was in a long-term relationship for nearly a decade. I devoted my life to someone who never cherished my presence. I take accountability for my reaction to being cheated on and abused. I became acclimated to being screamed at and having items thrown around while I ran and locked myself in the bathroom, scared to death. I’ve even been choked over posting a photo in a bikini. I tolerated being forced to face problems on my own. There were factors I couldn’t control, and I actually lost my friends and family for one person. I even lost myself.

Mind you, my past is my past. One thing I’ve learned to not play victim to my abuse but acknowledge that it has occurred but to heal from it. Learning that trauma that is inflicted on us is not our fault, but it is our responsibility to heal. I am cordial with everyone from my past, but this is my story. I am able to voice it. I am far from perfect, and I am working on it.

In that situation, I had to learn to fend for myself, become strategic, and understand that I only had myself. My mentality became that no one would save me. I always thought steps ahead because I was walking on eggshells. I learned to journal everything and document, keeping an emergency bag with personal information, extra batteries, and money just in case I had to run away. Yet, I was always too scared to make the wrong move.

Luckily, I was able to obtain my degrees and secure a great-paying career. However, I live in my head. I don’t allow anyone close to me anymore, and I’m unsure if I am capable of being loved by anyone after those traumatic incidents. I don’t allow men close to me. It only took one person to ruin everything for me. I used to be so shy, broken, and timid. I would have mental breakdowns every day. It felt as if the current in the water was hitting me head-on while I was trying to swim. Eventually, I got so tired that I attempted to delete myself. My last significant other did everything but love me in order to keep me. It was threats and destruction. My friends and family witnessed everything I endured, the nights that I cried, and now… my body will not allow me to shed actual tears, maybe every two years or so.

I always knew that I would never be ready to be a parent, and I was always upfront about my past and trauma. I was so young, naive, and trapped. I was not in the right mental state to hold up anything for myself, let alone anyone else. I knew that giving a child up for adoption would’ve hurt, but I also knew that I wouldn’t want to bring a child into this world to witness their parent being abused. I knew I wasn’t ready after my trauma from relationship, even my past and I decided to heal myself before bleeding on others. I wouldn’t have inflicted more pain on everyone else after that. I am not going to go into more details upon this topic, but it is out there. Contracts have been signed, and you’ll begin to learn that I try my best for everything that I do. I give it more than 120% so, when I feel like I’ve failed. It takes a huge toll. I know that everyone around me is safe. It’s a daily internal battle that I have. I promise one day I will make it up. Guilt constantly eats me up, and only a few people who know me personally know these things. Maybe whoever is reading this will gain a bit of perspective.

I realized why I am still alive today, and maybe it’s because my story will help someone one day. My purpose here is to help others. Yet, I’m still in a fog amidst everything. If I didn’t have my grandparents or sister, I don’t think I would have the foundation to keep going. I have always pushed myself to extraordinary levels. I find that adversity has placed me on different pedestals compared to normal people. I’ve always had to fight and work hard. When you’re used to constant chaos and pressure, you learn to thrive in madness and insanity. This is probably the first time in my life that I’ve felt at peace, but my thoughts consume my sanity.

Steps I’ve taken to heal include journaling, meditation, praying, hiking, exercising, and working. I work nearly eighteen hours on more than half of my week. I am constantly thinking of the next thing, trying to understand everything. I am not writing this for anyone to feel bad for me because I don’t feel bad for myself. I find that everything that has happened to me was my fault, even if there were occurrences I couldn’t control. The only thing I can worry about are things I can control. I am only writing this because I know that there’s someone out there who could be going through the same thing, but the difference is that I made it out, and yet I am filled with guilt but I have learned to cope.”

1. Embrace Your Journey 2) Healing from Within 3) Build Resilience 4) Converting Trauma into Empowerment 5) Cultivating Self-Love and Self-Worth 6) Setting and achieving goals

Life has a way of testing us, and for those who have experienced domestic violence, childhood trauma, or other forms of adversity, the journey can be particularly challenging. I am here to remind you that your past does not define you. Literally.

Healing from deep wounds requires a holistic approach that encompasses the mind, body, and spirit. Through personalized coaching sessions, we will explore various healing modalities, including therapy, mindfulness practices, self-care techniques, and inner child work. Together, we will create a safe space for you to process your emotions, release limiting beliefs, and cultivate self-compassion.

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity and thrive despite challenging circumstances. I will guide you in developing resilience strategies tailored to your unique experiences. Yes, that means the BS in my life! We will work on building emotional strength, setting healthy boundaries, and developing coping mechanisms that empower you to navigate life’s ups and downs with resilience, and without the grace.

Your past does not have to define your future. Together, we will explore how to transform your traumatic experiences into sources of empowerment. By reframing your mindset, identifying your strengths, and embracing your resilience, you will discover the power within you to create a life filled with purpose, joy, and fulfillment.

Surviving trauma can often leave us feeling unworthy or lacking in self-love. I am here to remind you that you are deserving of love, happiness, and success. Through personalized coaching, we will work on cultivating self-love, boosting self-esteem, and nurturing a positive self-image.

Motivation is key to overcoming obstacles and achieving personal growth. Together, we will set realistic and empowering goals that align with your values and aspirations. I will provide you with the tools, accountability, and support needed to take consistent action towards your goals, ensuring that you stay on track and celebrate your progress along the way.

No matter what challenges you have faced, remember that you are not alone. As your life coach, or friend. I am here to walk alongside you on your journey of healing, growth, and transformation. Together, we will navigate the complexities of your past, embrace your present, and create a future filled with resilience, empowerment, and joy. It’s time to reclaim your power and live a life that exceeds your wildest dreams. Well, what are you waiting for? Let’s start your journey together! COME TF ON!!

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

Or sh*t that happened in my life

Here is a list of my life:

Age 3: I watched people get pass away,

Age 3: Abusive babysitters’ Cambodian genocide, and abusive mom

Age 3: Mom and dad divorced

Age 7: Adopted by a Christian family

Age 11: Modesto with biological family —

Age 13: Mom cut off

Age 13: Learned to survive with sister that is older

• Did not speak English till later. Age 7

• Survived poverty and use to dissociate from horrible situations

• Became advance and tested proficient my sister would hold candles for teach me algebra at Age 8, explains Pyrokinesis

• Meditate and dissociate using fire

• For English – she would make me reread words, and I began to read

• Advance Courses in Elementary—

• Age 11-13: aunt cheated on her husband – and my sister and moved out – she dropped her condom

• Age 15: Vngel Aalesquez – rejected Sophie Gonk and spread rumors about me

• Age 13-16: Bullied badly to the point I was going to drop out, and then, my sister made me finish high school and get a degree

• High school, ROP, and work

• MJC classes in highschool

• 10-year bad relationship

• Age 19: – Waitress/ Victoria Secret – moved to NC – I was not ready for industry

• Age 21: forced to have L, to keep relationship, had to have it natural

• Bought house

• Age 22: 2 degrees

• Age 24: s/o kicked out of army – for beating – general under honorable

• Sdr and damn near fired, super bad at sales

• Age 25: Got out of relationship

• Became an account manager

• Met the worst person in clt became my stalker

25- Moved from charlotte

26 – Bay Area

• Accidentally became an import model

• Became a bottle girl at arena – trained by men

• Photo went viral

• Got published as the first asian low rider at four months

• Spocom – official model

• Music videos

• Territory became San jose

• 386 – Vietnamese

• Biggest bottle girl 1015 sf

• Became an event curator and trained by men in the industry

• Corporate with Arrow the largest electronics over 900 suppliers

• Royal fitment

• Sponsored by car brands

27

Future Vixen Shoot

Heart attack

Stalked – had to leave everything –

Money lost

Isolated from family and friends

Smear campaign

Rico case investigation

Los Angeles

Homeless

No car

Indictment

NO Family

Left in a relationship with so called mentor the guy who was supposed to mentor me

Suicide – attempt

Saved by Fuz

Worked in Ktown

Banned from ktown

Brought back from reputation at 26 – saved by the bay and ktown

Brought back as a boss

I couldn’t work for anyone but myself because I could not pass a background

Started Onlyfans

Fuz – taught me to start a massage business – make enough money to move out

Move with out with my coworker from ktown (my bestfriend, now) 2 months

Miami, Hawaii, Vegas – Heiniken model, Spocom SF, The Cure Company (Nipsy hussels Company)

New Friends – ritz carlton – spoiled life –

First EDC – reunite with family

Pyrokinesis – did my first shot – breaking topics from cia declassified documents

OFTV first video launch -

Survived my murder, and found the solution ai technological psychologcal warfare,

Introduction:

I’m Kim Tha, I am a resilient individual who has overcome bullying and poverty to become a Published Model, Venue Promoter, Event Curator, Content Creator, Sales Pro and Marketer.

My personal experiences have shaped the passion for empowering others to improve their spiritual health, self-development, build confidence, and explore spirituality.

Through my website, I provide, my own personal experiences in life and coping mechanism with additional insights that offer practical strategies for coping with life’s challenges. You are not in this alone! My blog consists of resources such as:

Starting your own business in the Nightlife Industry, which includes curating your own events, and networking.

Alongside,

This is the Hub of The Spirituality, Pyrokinesis, Physics, Esoterism, and Self Devlopment. If you are interested in, go ahead and subscribe or add your email into the list down below for free notifications.

I add in, additional sales advice and guides.

I hope that this helps you within Building your OWN branding and business within The Nightlife/ Event Planning Niche.

This includes Sales Methodology, Building Clientele, Follow up, Pitch, Strategic Planning, Negotiation, Ticket Sales, and Self-development.

This Blog is where everything is wrapped up into one.

Let my story be the reason that you keep going.

My ultimate goal is to create a community where individuals can find support, inspiration, and the tools they need to transform their lives. Together, let’s embark on a journey of self-discovery, empowerment, and positive change.

I donate from 6/13/2025 6% of my income to fund programs geared towards young entrepreneurs that will help break generational poverty. We need better lead better leaders, and to teach self-development, spirituality and moral values, especially when pertaining to business. My story is the catalyst of being a positive impact on lives.

For the GREATER GOOD OF ALL.

Life is short, you don’t take anything with you, but happy memories. Except, what do you leave is impact. If my name is constantly spoken of, my Legacy will never be dead.

What do I want?

To take care of my family, community and create Global Leaders, despite whichever industry. It all starts within.

Let me be the testimonial of the reason that, YOU CAN DO IT! We can build a long-lasting relationship.

I am often asked why I am so dedicated to promoting mental health, exercise, confidence building, and spirituality. The answer lies in my own personal experiences. Growing up, I faced relentless bullying and lived in poverty. Even an Investigation involving a conspiracy in San Jose, in my 20s. These challenges took a toll on my mental well-being and self-esteem. However, I refused to let my circumstances define me. I made a conscious decision to rise above the negativity and work towards a better future. Through therapy, self-reflection, and a commitment to personal growth, I was able to overcome the scars of my past and build a life filled with purpose and joy. I believe that everyone deserves to live a life of happiness, confidence, and fulfillment.

Pain is feeling we have all endured. Others may have a higher tolerance. As for myself, I’ve been through traumatic sequences in my childhood to adulthood to understand how it is to undergo events that could’ve broken me or have. Being physically abused young had taught me to emotionally detach, but I learned from a young age to control my breathing. I find that when I am in immense physical pain. I will breathe slow to trick my brain. See, once you begin to have a grasp on how powerful your brain is, you begin) to realize that with discipline you’ll have more control. As you breathe slowly during a painful occurrence your heart will begin to slow down, and pump blood slower. The tactic that I use when I’m itchy is to distract myself. We take simple solutions for granted. Controlled breathing doesn’t only help you with physical pain but mental pain. Now, let me explain it. When you’re upset or angry, it is easy to let emotions take control, but the outcome is never worth it. Staying calm under pressure is a skill. Once you’re able to have full control over emotions society can no longer trigger you. You’re able to think more clearly and consciously instead of acting upon brash emotions. This can also apply to business decisions and all aspects in life. When pertaining to relationships and talking stages I’ve learned to never take things personally and that people will flow. Men are replaceable but so are women. I learned the art of detachment, and I do feel emotions however, I won’t let emotions take over me. You are in more self-control of yourself than you think that you are. I tend to love having people underestimate me, but in the end, I prove those wrong. I display that I am chaotic (which I can be) but most of the time. I am aware and in control. I am a very strategic person compared to how I display myself. I love playing the card of being predictable, my most favorite is the ignorance card. So, I let people think what they want, and I sit an observe intentions and actions. I don’t let it conflict with who I truly am. Others that downplay you give you an upper hand.

Always, even in sales, use it as a strength. When people think you’re weak, that’s actually when you have the most hold. In order to understand emotional intelligence, you have to speak to an array of people and learn different social etiquette. It all starts with clarity, breathing, strategy and always thinking of the next five steps ahead or options that you create.

Becoming emotionally detached

I am able to show affection but I am not able to feel on an empathetic level, with many people. It’s on a rare occasion that I can. People feel comfortable with me, for an odd reason.

In order to build a soldier you have to break them, physically and mentally in order for transformation to occur. We learn new lessons as we go. Just like muscle we learn in order to obtain gains, we put in the work to tear our muscles. I am thankful for the obstacles I have faced in life because without them, I wouldn’t be as resilient as I am now. I always tend to compare myself to an optimal version of myself. Happy, angry or depressed. I learned to gear all my energy and place emphasis on hard work. My family constantly remind me to focus on my happiness, but if you think about it. Happiness will be an outcome from hard work. Any emotional distress that I come upon, I convert it to work or training. Someone that has emotional intelligence, high IQ and is resilient is a dangerous mix. I learned from tech sales and nightlife that you have to be quick, yet efficient when pertaining to business and people. I realized that, as a woman anything is easy nowadays. Though, as that is true but I’ve always taken the riskier and tougher route. I’ve built myself to compete with the optimal version of myself. Once you learn to put your emotions aside you will become dangerous.

Our minds are so powerful, and I think people downplay that fact. Especially, due to the distractions around us in this day and age. Don’t get distracted, because there’s always someone that works harder, better looking, and smarter.

Being self-aware is understanding your strengths and weaknesses. I write down my weaknesses and failures, along with prompts that I can take to improve myself. Learn to overcome impulses, with delayed gratification. I learn to work very hard for small goals, that will eventually build your mentality to do so for everything else. Example: I wanted a new pair of Jordans. It’s easy to impulsively purchase items but instead of buying items right away, I find one of my weaknesses and work on it for a week or two. Once I have completed that goal, I reward myself. I did this same concept with going back to Charlotte. I wrote myself goals that I needed to accomplish before I went back to close my chapter. Not only did I learn to cherish my time more, this also taught me to always keep my word. Words are so powerful. You don’t want to quit on yourself or lie to yourself.

Why does Kim have commitment issues?

I don’t fail, but even if I come upon a Loss it’s never an L. They’re life lessons. I am mentally and physically tough. I’ve learned to focus and make myself dangerous by controlling my emotional and mentality. Withstanding, the pain and observing others helps me control the situation by letting others have a perception of me that they’ve built.

I’ve been told by others that I have commitment issues, and I believe that is incorrect. I have a strong work ethic, and I train religiously. My daily routine is on time blocks. I am committed to success. I honestly don’t feel that I am capable of being loved by anyone. So, I am happy with being single. As long as I am successful, and my family would never have to work a day in their lives. I have goals that are tough to achieve that requires a ton of concentration. I don’t have feelings for anyone, because my mind is set on everything that I want to achieve. I can easily tell someone that I love them and not mean a word. In sales, we learn to be charismatic. We get paid for making people feel heard and important. Majority of the time, I end up putting people in the friend zone. I don’t like to waste my time. I am not the type to fight for someone in this day and age, and I don’t like it when people are too clingy to me. I need space. I am constantly misunderstood, and I don’t like when people impose on me, especially when knowing of my past. My ideal person is kind, quiet, and understanding. I am a handful. Who knows? Maybe, I will find someone?

However, I am pretty masculine for a woman at times. I am protective over my heart and feelings. I also have very good intuition. So, I understand the difference between someone that is just for fun and someone that I am willing to invest, support, lead (when I need to), and show my caring side to. People that are just fun, they are just phases. People that are meant to stay in my life, I will give them the world. I’ve walked through hell. I have overcome so many obstacles that majority of people wouldn’t be able to withstand. I know my value. That’s why when it pertains to emotions and relationships, I put them on the back burner. Even when it relates to sex. I have self-control and discipline when sex is involved. I would rather not increase my body count. Once I find one person, they become my person. I don’t like to give my soul to everyone, and I can tell if people are just using me as well. Due to the fact that I easily can detach and use work to distract and improve myself. I don’t find myself taking a loss. I am happy with people moving on with their lives. I build myself and uphold myself to standards that I feel my optimal self would be.

My failures are not failures, they’re life lessons. It’s repetitive but I am an overachiever. Anything I put my mind to, I accomplish. I move quick because the quicker I move, the more time and opportunities I have to make money. More ideas. Along with that, I’ve built myself to become aware of perceptions by giving people the idea of being predictable. It gives me control. People that personally know me, they understand I am very inquisitive, intelligent, strategic, loving, and weird. Honestly, it takes time to build this mentality, but nothing can destroy me. Majority of people could not last a day in the shoes I’ve walked in….

** How to Unf*ck yourself**

My lost and found method Feeling lost? Disorganized and cluttered? I have felt the same.

Learning how to time block is how I become to work more efficient. Imagine waking up for corporate at 7am-5:00pm, nightlife from 7:00pm-2:30am, sometimes there would be after hours until 5:30am, and getting up at 8:00am on weekends for photo shoots, car events and music videos. I also have to add in gym. Everything in life at the moment felt like a rush. My actual reality began to crash around me, my home, family and mental health. I began to realize that making money sacrificed so much time away from them. I had such a burden on my shoulders. This lifestyle for six months straight took such a toll on my physical and mental health. I had to take two months for my body to fully recover. It was probably the saddest misunderstood I’ve felt.

What is time blocking?

It’s basically scheduling hours in the day that are designated towards certain tasks and goals. We all have twenty-four hours in a day. It really depends on how we as individuals decide to utilize our time and prioritize. For me, my background is much different from others. I decided to spend my twenties to work hard, so that I can do well when I am off in my thirties. One of my mentors started at 28 and hit their first million at age of 31.

My goal is to make money, take care of my family, and help my community. I keep my circle small. Only a few know me well. However, I am polite to everyone. I always knew the obstacles that I have overcame, I was never meant to just settle. There’s no way God let me go through this, and cultivate this mindset to be something small. I’ll see you all up there. Sooner or later. Just know, have the right mentors, strategies, and ambition. You’ll get there. I’ve seen people become millionaires in a year or two. It’s possible. I know this because they’re the ones teaching me. Be eager to learn.

So, how did time blocking help me?

1. My first steps are to write down goals, along with a blueprint to follow. I call and follow up with my mentors for additional advice. With the information I obtained from mentors, I would create a list. I call this the plan of strategy and execution. Majority of my life lessons will be tied in with my sales experience. Hahaha. when I used to be inside sales I learned to research and prospect, ask the right questions and dig. I was promoted young and went field and managed a territory I began to learn how to ask more questions, create plans with my engineers, and gear my meetings and close. A failure to plan is a plan for failure.

2. Now, that you’ve written down your goals and list. Write down your work schedule, and if you don’t have one like I do. You make one based off the list, however, you list your goals by priority. I will literally time block everything from when I wake up, meditate, commute, meetings, downtime, modeling, side hustle, blog, gym, home chores, journal, prayer and bed. You’ll begin to witness how much time we don’t have and how much we are wasting on our phones. I don’t give everyone my time, and you’ll begin to value yourself and time more once you begin to watch the time blocks display your schedule.

3. What if I don’t complete my tasks? When it pertains to work, we don’t stop working if we are tired. We stop when the job is done. Ahhh… in The Bay, it’s literally fast paced Silicon Valley. So, I get it. For work, I work until it’s completed and I will take time out of folding clothes or chores and then add it to my time block the next day. It does not mean to not touch base and fold a bit of laundry but I will not sit and do it all. I will pick and choose what is priority.

Additional tips to add on:

I drink at minimum of two liters of water a day. I stayed at a hotel in Charlotte and drank so much alcohol and it threw me off once I got back home. Water is good for the skin and detoxing.

Skin care: Vitamin C and Hyaluronic Acid during the day. Retinol, Collagen and anti-wrinkle cream for nighttime.

Gym: Two hours maximum. Write down days and which part of the body that was worked on. I push myself hard at the gym.

Read books/listen to podcasts: For some reason I liked to be yelled at by Andrew Tate for motivation hahah so I stick to that. As in for books, I love financial literacy. How To Get Rich is one of my favorites. I love learning and getting different perspectives.

Modeling: Practice for 10 minutes a day.

Hobbies: My hobbies is learning how to Market and Code. Along with researching tech news. Also, finding new ways to make money. Learning about content creation is something I love.

You really don’t need anyone but your family when you’re highly focused a motivated. Instead of juggling five women/men I work on myself. I am surrounded by people that are willing to coach me. The moment I was in a super car and I’ve witnessed the life of luxury. I knew that I wanted success even more.

Each and every aspect, because hard will will pay off. It starts with mindset.

My younger self looking at 16 would be very proud of myself. Especially, withstanding my past. I ended up becoming a boss, with a resilient mentality. When we’re young we’ve all dreamt of a hero. Other than my older sister that raised me, I became my own hero. I’ve always wanted to be a woman in Corporate America, model and successful. Not only that, I became strong, independent, confident, and strategic. Btw, I’m typing this while high, but I will be working again in like thirty minutes. However, yeah. I am proud of myself. I am not where I want to be at 26, but given the cards that I’ve dealt with. It’s pretty alright. I want even more. I’ve always chased for more.

Advice I would give my younger self:

1. Do not date long term in high school, and don’t get attached to boys. They are phases. If he’s cheated on you before he will do it again. Men in their teens will not treat you well, and men older than you are creeps, until you hit 21. Date more and experiment more!! SHORT TERM! I would’ve broken so many hearts for fun! Literally shits and giggles, but no. I am a total freaking cupcake and falls in love with the idea of love. Except at my age, I can’t commit to anything but success.

2. Be confident in yourself. Sometimes people feel as if they have to dim the light of others to shine. I was bullied so bad in high school for having “fake boobs” or if other girls wanted to date my bf atm. The most promiscuous girls would accuse me of sleeping around. I would’ve told myself to not get your feelings hurt so easily. See, I used to be a sweetheart. People pleaser, I was overly nice, weird and a people pleaser. People began to take my kindness for a weakness. I was bullied so bad. I nearly dropped out of high school because of it. My sister would watch me breakdown every night before I went to bed. Good thing that I didn’t drop out. I can easily make over their salary in a commission check now. That’s just me being honest about how well I’ve honed my skill. It turned me into a tough bitch for sure, an intelligent one at it too. The biggest part to add on. A RESPECTABLE ONE.

3. Take advantage of your looks. Ideally, if I could go back to being 18. I would have a ton of sugar daddies. At least before I cultivated this mentality of being a high valued woman. I’ve always believed in being a high value woman since I was young. It’s been instilled in me. If I were do to do it again. I would take as many chances as possible. Take as many photos as possible while young because you’re never going to get this beauty back.

4. Go for nursing. I always wanted to go for healthcare lmao! I did the nursing program when I was in high school and then early in college. Then, I realized that I don’t like people lmao! I was like, I’m gonna go into investment banking and be Corporate! I was super excited when I was young to be in suits, dressed and turtle necks (Steve Jobs 😂) don’t make fun of me lolol. I’m known for turtle necks and tight pants lmao

5. Active Duty right out of high school. Like, once you walk off the stage you’re off! Not a year wasting time, just off!

6. Start a skincare routine young. I literally thought I was gonna look young forever.

7. Workout harder for gains. Don’t just feel bad for yourself after being cheated a million of times? Either build some ass or leave him! What’s wrong with you bitch? 😂

8. Invest money young. Lmao.. I bet those designer bags, hair, heels and clothes aren’t worth it now 😏 all it got you was pretty and played like a violin lmao

9. Learn a skill young. I started coding when I was young and then gave up. I would have forced myself to continue coding. Or something other than makeup.

10. Work hard young so you could chill when you’re in your late 20s, because your life decisions now will impact your decisions in the future.

I’m gonna leave my younger self a letter:

Note to Bunny (child me):

You are loved, and blessed. Yes, you’re different and you weren’t dealt the best cards in life but remember… it just means that you’re going to learn skills and a hell of a work ethic that others won’t have. I am truly proud of you. You really deserve the world, and you can accomplish anything. Everything tough just push through it. You are so strong! Your traumas could’ve defeated you, but you didn’t let it! Please, don’t turn cold, don’t cut, & don’t starve yourself. It’s okay to cry, don’t hold back your emotions and take it like a pill. It’s okay, to take a break. No more bottling up emotions, okay?! It’s okay to feel alone, just know your sister has you. She’s still alive. You will be the reason why your family will never have to work again. You’re the generational breaker. You will die trying if anything. Please be smart, wise, and don’t become desensitized … at least not too much. I understand that you’ve always fought your entire life. Ever since the age of three, you never had it easy. Please don’t forget that you’re not meant to hurt people. You’re meant to heal, and help make the world a better place. People feel comfortable around you because you make them feel safe since you understand pain. You’re unique. You showed people how it is to feel love, when you’ve never felt it yourself. I love you so much little bunny. So proud of you little bun bun. You’ve come such a long way. (hug) (wipes tears off of younger self)

Trust the Process: An overthinking mind can truly kill. Your thoughts will become words and words spewed out loud cannot be taken back.

In what ways do you mask your true authentic self and why?

I’ve never been the type to be fluid in life. I have always stood out, and I have never known why. People hated the confidence that I exude now. However, my confidence was built over time. I think that my life might be a guide for some, and I can promise you that I am not perfect. I am currently isolating myself from people due to home front/family. I keep my family very private. Only a few will ever be able to meet them. I did not have a conventional life growing up, and sometimes I feel that people will judge me harshly for my past. I am very used to being judged by everyone, but I realized that it shouldn’t matter at this point. I was truly scared to create a blook because I was worried that people would read about me authentically being myself. Honestly, everything has happened so quick for me.. and it’s a lot for someone like me. The pressure of society is already enough. It’s like high school all over again. I have so many people that dislike me and criticize me daily. It’s easy to tell someone to ignore the noise but when corporate, family, business and side hustle is caving in.. it’s a lot.

I’ve felt lost lately because due to my past being uncontrollable, the moment I was able to grasp some type of control I wasn’t able to ease into life. I tend to meticulously plan, and strategize everything that I do. The insane part is that I make the outcomes look effortlessly. I am learning to prioritize my health and then work on my goals. When you’re used to achieving so many accolades in a short time. Nothing, is ever really good enough. I really feel lost and losing a sense of self identity .. and, I’m so tired of being fake… it was so bad I even considered going back to my ex. I stopped talking to everyone, and my main motivation was money…

What solutions have I taken into consideration?

Well, I’m currently on vacation… and it’s nice to just fly out and not tell anyone where I am or my next move every second. I think it’s okay to just kinda take breaks.

I’m stressed currently because I’m in process of opening my business in Simi Valley..

I rarely ask for help from anyone.. so.. most people on the outside just think that I am mentally weak or breaking down. Honestly, those that have had an easier life than I did, they don’t have an excuse but to be more successful than I am…

1. I asked for help from those that started where I was and that had the outcome that I wanted. I love to be around likeminded people and those that I can learn from. Even when I’m depressed or having anxiety. I literally force myself to pull through… ugh. I just want to die already 😭

2. I started writing down goals, short term goals, five year goals, affirmations, and the reasons behind my goals. I started to read these daily.

3. I started drinking more water, waking up earlier and exercising more. One thing about me, I love instant gratification (fast money), I love moving quick and good feedback. I’ve never received positive feedback growing up because I’ve always had to fight for everything I wanted or my necessities. Now, with my corporate career, I show display that I fuck around.. my coworkers comment on my work ethic and say I slack off. However, my superiors understand my talent, and those outside of that don’t see my efforts outside of hours. I don’t show anyone how competent I really am. If anything, sales is my bread and butter. It’s really just active listening, asking the right questions and being friendly. I hate the feeling of being broke, and I literally can’t sleep. Broke, emotionally, financially or physically. I will literally dissociate or try to think of a million ways to make money. It’s crazy because even though, I am above water.. nothing will ever be enough.

4. Keeping myself preoccupied. I work when I’m depressed. I’m usually a lone wolf tbh, even when it doesn’t ever seem like it. I go through my problems alone. I make sure that everyone’s taken care of before I even start to take care of myself. I keep myself busy with gym, work, and… work

Essentially, it’s journal, mediation, gym, prayers, work and sometimes going on dates (which atp I don’t even know why)

1. Podcasts and listening to motivation. Most of the times, I really want to quit. I am on the verge of breaking more than 93% of my life. I just was lucky that I got this far. I’m not perfect and.. I know I’ll never be but I’m always trying to improve myself.

2. Learning to be patient. I hate waiting for shit lol, but I’m learning to endure the process of slowing down. The young version of me would be proud.

Everything I prayed for five years ago so what I have now. Sorry, I’m all over the place

The pressure is immense at this point where I have bottled enough in. My lows are very low, and my highs are very high. Truthfully, I feel that this is safe place for me to be myself, connect to you!

I don’t let people close enough to me to where I am vulnerable. My life is truly chaotic, and it’s started from childhood; and I ended up in a long-term abusive relationship. Thus, left me broken and needing validation from others. Trust me.. when I say.. not too many people know all sides of my life.

I still have flashbacks from my previous relationships… now I’m at a point where if he doesn’t get what he wants.. it’s just empty threats. He never really took accountability for the amount of abuse that he put me through. Trust me, for those that witnessed it.. it was pretty bad. Anyone from the past could give you a re-up on it. It’s sad, because I took time to heal. I was forced into so many things due to him. My life has changed. I’ve tried to give him everything but it just doesn’t seem like it’s enough. His mom would do the same. If she didn’t get what she wanted, she began to throw a tantrum. He was raised by a single parent and that’s all he knew. He has a short fuse, while I take the yelling and screaming. I try my best to ration or just give him what he wants so he can leave me alone. I fight myself mentally over the time that I had wasted in my life. I fight everyday.. truthfully. I don’t want to be here. I want to disappear and stop fighting. Now, his significant others and him are trying to add pressure onto me. I think, once you go through the type of long term abuse that I did. It requires your brain to not feel as much. I was in survival mode. His family can vouch.. one time he screamed at me for talking to his cousin and then, telling his family that he was upset with me because I was talking to his cousin.. his family didn’t think too much about it.. but it got him upset because it made it seem like he was “jealous”. He started screaming at the top of his lungs at me while we were visiting his parents. I was reading my book, and tearing up.. his step mom stayed in that room until he left because she thought he would hit me. She made me realize that.. this.. this is not normal. He ended up getting high, and locking himself in a room. I ended up spending time with the family. I always had the shorter end of the stick when it comes to this. I was always forced, and mentally depleted. Gosh, I really wished I was dead back then. Even now.. tbh. I think it’s the only way I would escape all of it. People judge me a ton. However, they wouldn’t be able to endure what I have. They don’t know the full story.. and it’s like.. I don’t wanna be vulnerable either. I can’t feel anything but sadness, and it’s the type where you want to burst out crying but there’s not anymore that I can.

To add on, family… I’m losing a loved one, right in front of my eyes. It feels like time is flying and I can’t do anything to fix it. Plus, I have to work harder to get to my goals. I just feel so lost. I’ve given up nightlife and solely focus on corporate. I am losing myself.. now, I’m unsure about a lot.. maybe.. I need to pray to God but at the same time.. I just don’t even know anymore

Modeling.. it took off quick for me within eight months. My face being on flyers, photos, sneaker event, cars and everything has gained traction.. good and bad. Now, I have people that watch me.. they don’t even like me.. they just watch me. I’m learning how to go against rules and stipulations so that I can be happier. I’m tired of holding myself back, honestly. I should be happy with my hobby.. it shouldn’t be so serious. It’s just too much on my plate in every aspect of my life. It’s either this or that but if another model does the same.. my levels of expectations.. are on a different level. People expect things from me and sometimes.. it’s never that easy. I make things look easy, I’m always stressed.

Resilience is built from adapting and overcoming obstacles that would break you. If anything, as insane my life is. I’m so proud that I never felt bad for myself, I learned to persevere as a little girl. I can finally say that I am able to take vacays now. I promised myself I would be well off legally or illegally. I’ll make it happen .. I’m writing this while I’m at the airport

I never understood this growing up but as I am older, I am understanding that people’s childhood truly reflects upon them. Growing up, I learned to never cry. Never show emotions. Show no fear when you’re scared.

It is as real as it gets because I would never speak about this. I wouldn’t need to make anything up. This platform is safe for me. My friends get it, and people I coach will understand. When I open up, they’re able to have an understanding of the perception behind the advice I give. I wear different faces for different scenarios. Some see me as the fun party girl, insane, and sex symbol. Some see me as goofy, nurturing, prim, responsible and academically achieving. Some see me as cold, calculating and bossy.

To give you a background of myself, and maybe you can relate to it just a little bit. I speak of my life as if these types of circumstances were normal to others. I’ll explain the steps as a young child that I’ve learned through the process. Trust me, I know I’m broken but at least I take accountability.

I know I’ll get judged for having these scars, obstacles.. I am told that I’m fucked up, all the time. This is why I stand strong. If I’m seen differently, then, I understand.

Growing up, I was always jealous of those that did have parents. Reflecting upon myself has made me realize so much. I should be working right now honestly, but I’ve been off my schedule and learning how to regroup myself. I am not always a strong person, there’s times I mess up and breakdown. I’m at an age where my body wants to sleep and relax but my mind tells me that I’m starved to push myself beyond boundaries and to not make excuses. My life has finally became peaceful since I got to June of 2023.. I mean, I’m not happy because I deal with a lot but it’s better than where I was.

Stop reading if you can careless about who I am. There’s no tea spilled here.

Back to the program lol

I had a neglectful mother, and I don’t remember too much of her or my father. He wasn’t really in my life. My ex always tells me that everything that I hated about my mother is what I became. I enjoyed that he never questioned me so much. I was able to cry with him… but he took advantage of me at my lowest points. I used to love him solely for the reason he’s grown with me… that was due to my attachment issues. Now, he’s just a stranger to me. He was also broken, himself. Dealing with issues. He was mentally weak drugs and alcohol became his addiction because I was the backbone. Now, I’m beginning to understand why I turned into him after our split. To add on, yes. I did receive a ring from him. It took him to propose over six times, and I said no every time. Except once. Which.. was a mistake. I’ll dive into that another day.

I came from the pits of hell, and I’m not the ideal woman for anyone. This is due to my unconventional upbringing. No one wants a daughter in law like that. It’s something that I began to accept, and other than my family, that’s why I have no other option but to succeed. I have baggage so, I push everyone away once they get too close. I’m a lot..

My mother, she was a pretty and strong woman. However, she was also neglectful, abusive, bipolar/short tempered, promiscuous, and off the fucking rockers. The Khmer Rouge really fucked her up, where she witnessed her father murdered in front of her. I witnessed someone shot/killed right in front of me at age 3. She starved at refugee camps, and when she came to the states well, she ended up having children with multiple men. Without a marriage license or ring… I wonder why she never married for money? It sounds bad but if I was in the position where I came from a third world country, had two children, and barely making it. I would prepare myself to marry for money, or work hard, so that my children would have financial stability or some type of stability while I built myself. Idk.. maybe to provide a home, food, transportation, and basic shit like that. If I was my mom, I would’ve done anything, to provide for my sister and I. Especially, if our future was important to her. Which, it wasn’t. My sister and I were always alone. Mom was absolutely stunning. Just stupid. Trust me, I’m not perfect but the only year I’ve made the most of my regrets was March 2022 to March of 2023. I’ve fixed them since.

One thing about me, I always try to keep my word. No wonder why I am so hyper independent, competitive and detached. I always want to make sure my family and friends are taken care of. Even, if it’s worth hurting myself. I think of longevity, and not short term.

My sister has undying love for my mother, but my mom would always treat her so bad. Mind you, K is only four years older than I am. I spent majority of my childhood with her. She doesn’t remember her childhood, and I pray to God for only good for her soul. If it wasn’t for her, M, and my grandparents that adopted me.. I wouldn’t be here.

I grew up always standing up for my sister. Actually, anyone that spoke bad upon K. My sister has a cold, asshole personality, but soft heart.. she will talk shit to you.. but she wouldn’t lay a hand on you.. unless needed. I seem nicer because I’m just fake as hell. I’m actually the one that will execute on sight. I am only controllable by my family or best friends when I’m enraged.

My ex always knew that about my sister, that she has a good heart. Don’t get me wrong, I am gentle with my family but I don’t show everyone that. He hates me because well, he has pushed me to that certain point many times.. He’s harmed me and I ran him over.. accidentally though………. 😘 ……. pause

What. A girl can’t see at night 🤓 🤷🏽‍♀️

…….. everyone that’s seen the uglier side of me will know that I will do anything and everything for those I love…I lose control of myself when I am angry. It’s really tough to get me angry. People like me, that have been through the ugliest trials and tribulations have a choice to be a hero or a villain.

The younger version of me has screamed, punched, and even vandalized out of anger. I was clever and swift enough to not get caught. See, I am a sweetheart but my temper. I have a horrible temper but it takes a lot to push me to become angry.. enough to the point where I am like this. There’s no coming back when I lose it on someone. I tend to bottle in emotions. I used to punch concrete when angry when I was a child. I never really learned to control myself until I was 19. I don’t really talk shit, like majority of women. I’m super nice, when pushed to a certain point, I will lose it. It’s the truth. Sad truth. That’s the most dangerous characteristic trait about me. Beautiful, kind, smart and gentle. The other side me.. is so ugly. A literal weapon. Now, I push myself in the gym hard to surpass this.

My family is my entire world. People that deserve the entire world. It is K, A, M and L. I won’t let anyone else in. I don’t need to either. Everything and everyone else is temporary. Nothing is real.

I’ve always despised my mother growing up. Watching her being promiscuous is the real reason why I don’t sleep around with just anyone. It’s the reason why I stayed in a relationship so long. I always wanted to be married, happy, and build with someone. Now, I would rather be left alone. I don’t bring anyone near my family. Also, it’s fucking dirty and gross the way people are now. I am very harsh on myself if I sleep with someone knowing I have no future with them. It’s just disgusting to me. I get disgusted by myself for it. Judging by my looks, and actions I seem like I would be around much more. Especially, with the risqué industry I am in. I’m going to get out of it, I have other things to prioritize. However, my body count is five because I stayed loyal in on relationship for a quarter of my life. I don’t want anymore than that. All I knew was to be with one person. To wake up, shower, eat, watch movies, events, travel and talk to one.

Back to my parent. My mother was abusive towards us, and even tried to sell us off. She actually married at the minimum of four times, within my 10 years of knowing who she was. All broke men too. She would put drinking, shopping, gambling and men over us. She didn’t even get paid for it! I wouldn’t be so upset if my mother was paid to be stupid or fun. It’s just the fact she acted upon it, and didn’t get money out of it. I wouldn’t be this upset if my future was secure when I was young.

.. she did work hard but oh fucking god. She was never in a long term relationship. She was dumb enough to put a joint account with a man that “had it all” and he took all of her money, and left my sister and I with nothing, not even our home. When I tell you that I’ve grown up homeless growing up, and in poverty. You have no idea until you’ve starved. This stuff puts me in an emotional rage. At least choose a man with a family that likes you. My ex, he’s a hard worker, and his family is very well off. He just treated me so bad that they advised that I leave him, because I was good to him. They told me they knew I would always be successful. However, they protect their own. No matter how ugly. I couldn’t get over that. How could you be okay with me being abused? Your significant others family is not your family. Not even if you’re dating, engaged or married. I understand because I would do the same for my family. I have scars. At the age of three my mom would leave me with whoever, and I was abused horrendously by my babysitters, physically and just everything was a lot. They hated me so much. they hated my mother. I was fed dog food when I was a toddler by them before 🤮 I didn’t know any better but I was hungry. I had to learn everything and to fight for my own. I couldn’t say a word because I didn’t start talking by age 7. You know.. talking about this opens so many wounds atm, but to be honest. It’s just firing me up and motivating me to do better for my family & to be thankful for god. I’m probably going to pull an all-nighter and figure out how tf I am going to accomplish the next thing. I know, I am crazy but not everyone has this mentality.

My biological grandmother hated her own daughter and never accepted us… well my sister. I wouldn’t eat, if my sister couldn’t eat. Fuck. The loyalty between K and I is beyond crazy. I would literally walk through hell and back.. as long as we are together. Do you understand the sense of where I am losing myself? If I lost anyone close to me. It feels like everything is crashing. I would say that the only people that were there for us were my Uncle T, Grandma Shirley and Grandpa Dave.. which odd enough I was so lucky to meet them at age 6.. which that’s when I converted from Buddhism to Christianity. If I didn’t have God, I wouldn’t know where I would be. Oddly enough.. this is really hard for me to type right now. Everything memory is flashing in my head. In that I’m going to get to how I’ve overcome all it all at a young age. There’s just much more to it.

A soldier is a soldier. Strong physically and mentally.

1. Read books to distract myself from reality. I learned when I’m in distraught to continue to push myself to learn different concepts. I knew that being smart would eventually pay off.

2. Write down how I feel, and what I wanted out of my dream life. I call it scripting and I will give a tutorial on it soon.

3. Meditate and pray. I am a huge believer on controlling your mind and how you think. Meditation took me away from reality. I also believe miracles are real but I feel that work is 80% of it.

If you think of it.. how can you lose to someone that only wants to be better than themselves and win. Everything is a distraction. So, with all of that said. I learned from a young age to not make excuses. Yes, everyday was a tough day but I learned that if you’re going through hell, to keep walking because you’ll eventually get somewhere.

Finding yourself can feel like you’re digging for a needle in a haystack. I’ve felt so lost, and currently I understand that life is not perfect but the best that I can do is be proactive, thankful and live in the present.

I’ve surrounded myself with experiences in life that I realized that most probably wouldn’t be able to live. However, there’s the good, bad and ugly. I have people that are always concerned of me, even in places that shouldn’t concern me. Learning to live past the noise and redirection is the best way. Once you let people under your skin, that’s when you’ve truly lost. A game of chess is being strategic, thinking five steps ahead and thinking about your opponent’s strategy.

Where I went wrong?

I didn’t learn to pace myself from the jump. I trusted people too easily, and I’ve gotten involved in the politics. I should’ve been nicer and worked with everyone that I felt was worth the time. I tend to move quick, fast. Then, I’m on the go again. Or, there’s always something new. I realized that I need a break. I love being around people that make me feel as if I don’t need my phone. The downtime is great if it’s well worth it. The universe has its way of working. If things are meant to be, they will be. I’m beginning to let everything happen naturally and unravel. It’s actually an amazing feeling. The more successful I become, the more I am likely to disappear. Some want to get rich to be seen, mine is to disappear.

Just imagine. Getting picked up in a McLaren after a long day… getting lobster towers, desert, home, Netflix watching You, cuddles and everything else. Imagine waking up, kissing your person, getting them water, showering, and getting breakfast ready as they’re sleeping. Imagine your person telling you to stay and not go.. even after getting on their nerves. So, now you’re on a couch in living room on your phone.

I love being taken care of, someone that asks me if I’ve eaten or need anything to hydrate. It warms my heart when someone takes those initiatives. I’m used to that type of treatment, even the most asshole of asshole men will make sure you’re nourished. They probably won’t listen to how you feel but they’ll make sure you’re healthy lol

A girl in California can dream 💭

Since, I still think about the person that maybe that I’m supposed to be with in the end

Learning to not be accessible to everyone

I’m learning to not apologize for every minuscule thing. Don’t ever be sorry for something that you didn’t cause. Learn to be quiet when you’re not an expert, to play dumb when needed, to be patient and understand that it’s all a process. Also, learning to live on the present and keep my life private.

It’s a lot I’m learning in my first year, and there’s many more years ahead of me. Well, maybe. If I decide to commit suicide earlier then, maybe not. Learning to let everything flow naturally, if you grasp on anything too hard you’ll lose it. I’m also learning to not be available to everyone, events, and even photographers.. yet it’s a mix of having fun and living life..

I’ve dug myself out of the toughest moments in my life, and yet even at my lowest I still gave, prayed and worked hard. Sometimes, you really have to struggle in order to understand what you can do with your blessings?

Question: What value do you bring to the world?

I think once you realize the value that you bring to the world, that’s when even more money will flow in. Then again, it won’t be primarily about the money. I’m not saying to solely chase your passion. Of course, money is important but it’s also great to think beyond that too. Sometimes you need to breathe, meditate, make lists, and reroute. I try my best to not listen to everything around me, and focus on what I can do next. Miracles do happen, but it’s faith, family/friends (collaboration) and hard work. I realized that I don’t need to announce my next moves, that was my biggest mistakes.

Lessons learned

1. Don’t trust easily. I learned that you only tell people what you feel that the person should know. There’s times I just test people by telling them one thing.. if I find out someone else knows or if they’re throwing subliminal shade. I keep my circle small, so I will always know.

2. Plan accordingly, live off my calendar and notebooks and prioritize what’s worth my ROI

3. Talk to friends and family. Well, the only times I really talk to my friends is about business. I am known to be the crybaby model of the group. Little rambunctious sister but I need to mature for everyone around me. I wasn’t able to live my childhood out, and I grew up so quick. I know, I’m not ideal.

4. Keep all details of life away from Instagram. Well, I have to show more of who I am on there but not everything. It’s kinda the idea of don’t tell unless asked. Honestly, this is a lot. I never knew how observant people were.

5. Pace yourself. Not everything has to be quick, this can literally make your or break you. I’ve learned fast money, instant gratification, and quick growth. I’m learning to lay back and let it happen without pressure. I am enough

6. What’s worth my ROI. If you’re not providing me any happiness, consistency, or financial stability (my career). It will not be welcomed into my life or just simply cut out. I’m learning to stop taking shit from people.

I want to make that point my last one, 36 is my lucky number. I don’t want to write out 36 reasons lmao

Questions to ask yourself

Who are you? What are your goals? How can you achieve those goals? What are the steps and procedures? Why are you pursuing this?

Do you ever sell yourself short? What if you can live the life you want just by changing the way that you think? Then, implementing plans and strategies. I’m not trying to sell you a course, maybe I should create one. On my 1:1 I actually walk my clients through these steps. So, your brain cannot depict whether what’s real and fake. The word beLIEve has the word lie in it. Sometimes you have to lie to yourself in order to get on the vibrational waves that you need. Ever heard of feed my delulu’s?

I wouldn’t consider myself a master at manifesting but when I put my mind to something or say something. The crazy part is that it will eventually come true. Even the most abnormal circumstances. I’m trying to be more consistent.

How to start?

1. Visualize

Visualize the life you want. I spend a lot of time in my head. I get tunnel vision and forget everything around me. However, making a visual board, whether it is on Pinterest, poster board, or even a YouTube video that shows you the life you want. You’ll get a reminder of the life you want. You know how they say to test drive your dream car? Or to tour the condos/penthouse/home that you want? It gives you a feel for it. So that you can imagine yourself there. If you dream to have a rich guy and to be spoiled, then get yourself one that can give you that lifestyle so you can have the jist of how it feels. Imagine the feeling of making it. I am lucky enough to be given the opportunity to experience being in my dream car, beautiful places, lights and cameras. Just be careful what you wish for. Trust me, as a woman that has came from absolutely nothing. I am shocked about how much I’ve been able to experience in my life within a short amount of time.

I play this every morning, as I am waking up and going to the gym. 2) Scripting

Scripting is writing your dream life as if it has happened already. Live in your delulu. I don’t tell anyone my goals, tbh. You keep those to yourself because not everyone will want the best for you.

Start writing as if you’ve already accomplished or you are in the process of obtaining something that you want. Be intentional and thankful, imagine the smells and emotions that you’re feeling. Write in all the small details.

You’re basically bringing your thoughts into the 3D world, and once spoken it’ll be in the 5D. That’s why affirmations in the morning are important. It’s all the way that you think. Also, don’t go back to read what you’ve written. Close it and then, go onto the next time you want to write. Always write in that journal with good vibes and intentions. Speak it, and write it into existence.

If you have a dream car, home, goals, or girl.. maybe a 6’3 dude named Jet lol.. my friend has a crush so I threw it in there

Put it as your wallpaper.

Example:

Dear God,

I am so thankful for everything that you’ve blessed me with. I am in such awe at the moment. I just bought my first McLaren 720, I’ve waited forever to obtain one. It’s black with gold rims. The top comes off, and it’s all carbon fiber. The seats are not too comfortable but it’s beautiful. The doors are butterfly and you need to push a button and push the door up. It smells like new car, and once you push the button. The entire console in the middle lights up, and the screen with the odometer lights up and shows the entire car with information. The car is so loud and fast. I have phonk web playing. I am driving fast on the Golden Gate Bridge and it doesn’t even feel like I’m going 190mph. It’s so beautiful and smooth. I can feel the wind through my hair and it’s an invigorating feeling.

I was only able to describe that because I’ve experienced my dream car. However, you see how if you describe to the tea like that? Your brain will begin to program and look for opportunities that would open doors like that for you.

1. Plan and Execute

A handsome successful man that was my mentor once told me, “Having no plan, is a plan for failure” this was from a man that was the generational breaker in his family. I literally, was 😍 astounded from the advice he gave. Then, again, I’m astounded from any generational breaker. Those that go beyond the grain. I promise you they’re wild and not normal as they appear on the outside. Honestly, I literally tell myself every morning that I’m a lucky girl. Manifestation won’t work if you don’t put in the work either. It’s not magic, you also have to put in your part in order for it all to happen.

I used to tell myself affirmations and feel uncomfortable about it. I was soo unconfident when I was in NC, and now.. well I’m just annoying now lol

Just imagine manifesting the girl/guy you want from years ago. & finally meeting them in person. Every characteristic and physical trait is on point! It’s weird but the universe has it’s way of working.

Everything that I have, I’ve manifested five years ago. I can say that I reached my five years goals from 20-25, and now from 25-30, I am praying and working hard for those goals. This is why I’m telling myself to be careful for what you wish for because I realized I sold myself real short. Always keep your circle with people that are hardworking and like minded and find mentors, along with circles that will get you where you want to be. Write notes, and listen to good shit that will inspire you. Transform your life with one thot, I mean.. thought at a time 😂

Mentality is everything. You can literally walk through a burning bridge and really it is all mental. Pain is great, if you use it as a motivation to become better. Focus on things that you can control. Sometimes you have to put yourself in the mindset that you can conquer anything. Never feel sorry for yourself but always feel the urge to act upon your next move.

I believe that if you put 100% into anything you want; you’ll always become 1% or more better each day. My family is the reason why I work so hard. Even though, I’m perceived to be heartless by others that don’t know me. My family always tell me to do it for myself… because if I don’t, I will be unhappy with anything I accomplish. However, if I did it for myself, I could careless. My main motivation is to make them proud, so they can live at ease. I would rather feel proud. I don’t tell everyone everything. I fight my own demons. I’m the only one that sees all aspects of my life. I always understood how to wear many faces, hats and navigate through life pushing myself. Does it make me fake? Yes, but I can say that being fake has built me to reach levels in life that I never though I could. I’m always having to take care of everything nonetheless. What choice do I have to cry? I don’t have a choice to let people take the lead. I couldn’t imagine being comfortable. It’s just not for me.

Learning how to program your mind

Part of programming my mind is teaching myself to be resilient. Sadly, one of my biggest flaws is that I am not too concerned on how people feel. I can careless for men. I have mommy issues so I love moms a lot

I am spoken of by many and only a few actually are close to me. I deal with rumors in Charlotte, The Bay, LA, Central and LV. I guess, publicity is publicity. Then again, it’s always a group of weak people that try to take one strong person down. Maybe, it’s off to people that I can live total opposite lives. Truthfully, all you ever have to do is ask, or confront me. It’s most likely already 1) Told in my blogs and you didn’t dig 2) Told to you in person

If people really don’t like me, they shouldn’t engage with me at all, nor keep tabs on me. Don’t just watch me from afar, and linger. That’s a waste of time.. That’s just so weird. Cut it off. I’m cool with that, tbh.

I am very straight forward about Instagram being a facade. Along with, not letting people too close to me. My past relationships, failures, and flaws. Also, I keep my family away from business, and people I am unsure of. I prefer to save face for them. & keep everyone of them safe. Anyone would, though! Right?! I don’t know how much else I can really add onto it.

Trust me, when you meet a real strong woman, you will know. Instantly. As crazy and insane as I am. I follow my own set of rules and schedule. I work really well under pressure. Constant pressure or obstacles actually seems like a game for me. I love it! It’s like… OH WELL.. another level.. AHA! I gotta win! Once I’ve overcome the adversity of the whatever level, I’m left realizing that I could do more. The more stress and pressure that one can endure is the measure of success they could be. People break under pressure. So even if you’re not strong, just keep your head up & fucking push yourself. Pain isn’t forever. Trust me, I show people the side of me that I want to show. One thing is, I am always the best at anything I do. So, regardless with my mentality I will always know that I am doing my best in all aspects of my life and for my family. Work, family, and hobbies. Don’t believe in the stigma of fear, and depression. You are powerful, it’s just your thoughts.

When I was interviewing for my promotion to an Account Manager, everyone in my office saw me coming in crying. I never felt bad for people that cried until that day. When I’m in pain, I am silent. My bosses watched me and pressured while I was mentally broken. I was actually bullied by my superiors because they thought I had fake boobs. I then, found a mentor to teach me the fundamentals of sales. This is why I am the person I am now, in my professional front. Prior to meeting with the directors my ex went off on me, started punching things and screaming at me. I remember leaving and coming into the office with mascara everywhere. My colleague Justin helped me out by getting me tissues to wipe my tears. He is the only man, that knows EVERY SINGLE PART of my life. He is perfect for me BUT he is my friend. & deserves so much better. I had only ten minutes left before I talked to directors. I literally thought I wouldn’t get my promotion, mind you. The Bay Account Managers get paid more. I had to learn how to smile, and flip a switch from crying until my entire face was red to smiling in front of directors, and putting on my fake voice along with cracking jokes. I even talked about food, and they said they loved my energy. If only they knew that I was nearly having an anxiety attack ten minutes prior. My bosses saw the way I maneuvered. Btw, every interview I did for each region they wanted me. I was the first one to be picked for two locations. North Cal and So Cal. I chose where market would be the best lucrative. People don’t care what you’re going through. It’s all about outcome. If you believe you’re unbreakable and redirect pain for the better. You’ll always win. I literally tell myself that people would never survive in my shoes. If anything, even with all my bullsh*t. I will lie to protect my own.. I do stupid things when I’m bored. I used to treat people like disposal plates. When I’m upset I get even or I do more to have the last word. I’m learning that not everything needs a reaction.

Moreover, No one can tell me they can walk through the same things that I have faced and navigate my situation better. I was reckless for a bit, and had fun but.. all and all I am a walking testimonial. Try to look at more than one perspective.

There’s always an easy way out of everything but I’m learning that the characteristic traits that I’m beginning to build for myself, will make myself a better person.

I have so much guilt from my past, trust me. I’ve fucked up, but my sister told me it was due to all my abuse. So, they understand. Even if so, I still am the best at everything I put my mind to. I am far from perfect, but those that speak upon the old version of me… never was able to step in my circle now. Even back then, all they can do is hate. I was a triple threat back then, pretty, smart, and rocking bod. for a teenager.

I deal with weak women all the time. There’s a difference between a woman that is able to hold herself up from everything that could’ve broken her. Then, there’s a female that’s had it easy, and given to her. Which nothing is wrong with either types. I just learn that weak minded people have to work together to bring a person down. Weak people tear others down. Weak people find excuses. Weak people are easily beaten at their own games in the long run. Once you let anyone under your skin, you’ve lost. Stay nonchalant. I stand and observe from afar. I’m not stupid, as I am perceived. Those that are focused will always win, in the end. They’re worried about their own end game. Nothing other than that.

I go from being a wild crazy party animal, nurturing, goofy, charming, a good teacher, intelligent, strategic, and competitive. There’s a road map to all of this. Learn to find your weaknesses and focus to become stronger. Build yourself to be a chameleon, and learn to adapt to surroundings. It’s okay to make mistakes but learn from them. Take accountability, and defy all odds again. Be beautiful by staying calm under pressure and outperform. When enraged, give hell. Become Ifrit. Every trauma that has been presented to me, has made me stronger.

I’m still learning, slowly but surely. My end game is to build myself, and my family. Regardless, of everything that’s a distraction. Keep your eyes on the prize.

Once you become more successful, disappear. Keep the momentum. No one cares unless you win. So, focus on priorities and do it. I promise you, you’ll be so much happier. Take trips, journal, meditate, pray, and gym. Workout even when you don’t want to workout. Let people perceive you’re stagnant. Stay off of letting people know too much.

Priorities, priorities man! It’s so easy to get lost in sauce when you have many distractions around. Think of yourself as a jet, your destination is your goal. The birds and lightning that’s around you is the distraction. Keep your eyes on the prize. My grammar is horrible but it’s morning and I’m chilling.

Mind you, I’m not perfect because I do become distracted from my goals, the methods that help the most is my five gratitude, thanking god each morning, writing down my tasks, then I sort each by priority. The toughest tasks, I try to get rid of the the quickest. I work hybrid, and have unlimited PTO. So, I am able to travel often. Tbh, I never spend more than five days away. I won’t post it on IG or anything like that. Last time I posted my flight, everyone was wondering who I was with. Or they think I’m flying out for someone to buy

Realizing that there’s trade offs to life. I went from thinking that modeling would be glamorous. I realized that it’s not worth my ROI. I don’t mind leading people on, but I can’t imagine selling my actual self, and following through.

You’re always going to be around men that are well off.. especially in the automotive industry. Men with money love their toys.. their cars. Literally, some have the same model and make in different colors. Just don’t get lost in all of it. In The Bay, I can’t screw up because I have people watching my from afar from car crews, publications, people from nightlife, kids and who else knows. I try to maintain an image of where I am myself, but also understanding that my personal life will be out there as well. Which, I try my best to keep hidden. It’s kind of hard. So, within my first year. I’ve fucked up but I’m lucky.

So, stay away from Sugardating sites, sex, scandals, and being too wild in clubs. I thought I would be able to live the lifestyle of other models and I lost myself. I just can’t. I broke down after LA, and never came back the same. To the point where my local people were asking me what happened. It went around like wildfire. I’ll throw this out there. Im not sure if I’ll be in the import scene. I have moral values that I stick to. Most, wouldn’t know that either from my past of leading men on out of boredom.

I had a huge reality check recently. Which changed my perception of men and how I treat all men now. Someone told me that karma would go straight to your child. Like, if you’re a fuck boy, you could have a daughter. She’s most likely going to be around men, just like you. If you’re a woman that breaks men’s ego, you may have a son. He could be heartbroken by a woman like you.

California has tainted me so much.

That’s when it clicked.

No more dating, unless it’s genuine. Like, this shit is real.

I will address the rumors about getting pregnant after visiting NC. Yes, it did happen. I am fucking stupid and I should’ve known better. At least it was with someone I knew, and luckily. Straight luckily, I didn’t catch an std bc boy has had every girl

I felt that I was just used as an object. I didn’t check the strings on my iud, it moved. I took two pills, dealt with cramps, and a miscarriage. Things happen, as as an adult I could only focus on what I could change. The crazy part is that people from California know who he is, now. Men, I talked to instantly put two and two together. Lol, they get upset when his name pops up. It’s not a big deal, tbh. Men are possessive and jealous. I literally reassure that we’re just acquainted or strangers now. It was okay sex  , and nothing intimate.. aha yeah.….. LOL Iykyk

I think, I lived on the memory of the old us. I’ll never get that back because we are both so tainted now. He also deserves so much better!

I just wanted to disappear. There’s way more to it but either you already know or this is the part you heard about.

So what happened?

I wasn’t going to tell him anything, but when I did. I kept it short. This is before I left so, if you knew the timeline. I left June 28th. So, the guy I was dating in June

I joked about it, procedure and moved on. No follow up calls or texts from him about it. Which, I mean.. why would he? He has no idea how much pain and mental stress I was under. No does he care. We dodged a bullet  & tbh, I liked that him and I were so chill about it.

I was used to my ex calling me everyday, and checking in on me. Ordering me food, and asking about my health. Aries men, ya know. The other side.. He was crazy, in an abusive way. However, this guy… just like the last loml has many women but he’s cold and calculating.. he’s just like me. So, I learned to deal with this one by being cold and going ghost. I ignored him after this. The way I went about things are different.

Why am I addressing it?

It’s a scandal that looks bad on a new public figure here. Taking accountability shows my responsibility. Yes, I fucked up. Will I do it again? No. Unless, it’s with my future boyfriend. Will I cheat? No. It’s not cheating if he did it first? Right? I’ve learned. Realistically, I ended up burned in the end, and I knew I would be with the person from my old city.. I would’ve gotten hurt. However, going home made me realize that Charlotte is a small city with big fish. The Bay is compiled with big cities with sharks. I became colder by becoming a shark. Small city equated to small minds. Small city, with highly egotistical people, in their small world. Step into California from nothing. There’s actual competition out here. Where they care about your personality, goals and aspirations. This isn’t a small city in the East Coast. Literally, we have The Bay and LA. They eat you alive out here. People in California, we care about ourselves and set trends. All over social media, it’s people from California. In The Bay, it’s about impact not following. In LA, it’s about following and what you can finesse and fake flex. People from Charlotte live is a small utopia.

Watch, most wouldn’t survive. It’s tough out here. My old friends thought that I came back some egotistical, local celebrity/model. No, I came back the same silly girl.. everyone else changed. For the better though. I was so happy walking to my Uber knowing that I’m coming home to The Bay, where this is where my playground is. I have an impact out here to succeed, and build an amazing community.

I am all over the place, literal chaos.. just with a bright future ahead of me.

Yes, I screwed up by sleeping with someone. Trust me, the guilt ate me up alive on my flight back..I ended up at Love and Prop.. and met someone, the most perfect dude until I fucked up by being so inconsistent, but consistent with ghosting. I needed to reach my goals. I didn’t know how to tell him.. I liked him a ton, and I didn’t know how to tell him. He even called me, Princess… and treated me like one.

Just know.. I haven’t committed. I’m over my ex but we promised to work on ourselves and get back together. He’s with someone new now. I’m just still getting used to being.. single.

… Then, I was dealing with family issues, and I didn’t give myself a break.. and boom! Spocom LA.

Btw, SpocomSF and LA were my two first shows.

On the contrary, it’s the same in tech.. with some organization. My last company I was with you have to swallow kids to move up. They also hated my IG, but loved to jack off to it. It’s one of the reasons why I couldn’t last in that environment. It was a hostile environment being sexually harassed. They made a rumor that I was a pornstar, escort and stripper. Which, that money would be sooo nice! However, I’m losing sleep doing it that hard way. Life was good before all the stipulations, and most people outside wouldn’t understand unless they’re in The Bay to see it. It’s a lot for me.

The universe has its way of working. Never tell anyone outside of your inner circle your goals. Learn to pace yourself, have your goals in mind, and trust the process. I promise you, I have more people that want to watch me fail rather than win. They’re nice to my face but behind my back, it’s just them trying to gather tea on me. Always remember when one door closes, another one open. Don’t take anything as a loss, use it as motivation. Always try your best, and do good in the world. Stay humble, and keep your personality.

Currently,

My life is going to change, and it’s going to be different. Learn to love yourself.

I would tell myself I’m NOT the one you’d take home to mom.

My past, modeling, nightlife and career. If I was in the shoes of their mother, I wouldn’t want a daughter in law like me.

However, I realized that I am a very resilient, sweet, smart woman. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea but I am someone’s.. it’s nice because the people around me only succeed. I also, know that I still have myself.

I knew one day, I was going to be treated well.. I promise you it’s just time, priorities, discipline, and faith. Focus on you. Be selfish, because people that are selfish win. Winners sit with winners. The rest will come.

Sometimes, all it takes is for one to change in your life to take a leap of faith. Everything that you do in life. You’re taking a bet. Always do everything with a purpose behind it. I’m learning to genuinely cherish relationships, coming from the chaos that I am used to. Also, choose your friends and family wisely. Blood is not thicker than water. It’s the covenant some shit my sister said. Then gets all chemist on it lol. Love you, sis. Anyways, it means because someone is your family. It doesn’t mean you have to choose them as family. I feel alone majority of the time or that I’m constantly failing. I am realizing that I need to fix so much about myself. I’m thankful to have people around me that can take me out of that zone. Sometimes, it takes to remove yourself out of a situation and having people give you input. It really took me three days to take a leap, I wrote out every positive and negative. Look at situations from a third person perspective.

Also, ask yourself. If you had a child, what would you advise for them? What future do you want for them? If you had a daughter, would you want her to have the same past as you?

Honestly, I’ve thought about this a lot growing up with the type of mother that I did. I learned to keep my body to myself. I don’t have an OF, where I can easily make money. I’ve tried sugar dating like three times, and I just can’t. I don’t want people I don’t like to touch me. I can’t text people I don’t care about. It’s tough, and I do look up to my friends that do it. The Rizz is insane! They’re also much smarter than I am. I am the geeky, goofy, cupcake in the group. Despite, my one year I’ve messed up.

However, sales taught me to be charismatic, and how to understand people.. in a business setting.

I choose myself, family and success.

My career is tough due to delayed gratification. You have no idea. So, learning to be thankful for the simple things in life, you’ll begin to be grateful for the rest that God has to unravel. You can’t replace or buy good friends and family. That’s why I feel immense guilt when I’m out, or working. I just want to be with my family. I have to work hard for everything.

I’m learning that,

It is okay to be a princess and have people take care of you. I really do love being spoiled, because I’ve truly deserved to be adored, and treated well for once. Keep working, and manifesting your dreams until they come true. A lot of women that have encountered what I’ve been been through. We find it hard to think that people genuinely adore or love us. I’m so used to having my guard up, but you’ll find the right person that’ll ask you, if you need anything. Let’s you make decisions of what you want. Takes you out, shows you off, pushes your success and will explore the world with you.

I wish I would’ve realized this so much earlier. I’ve held myself back, and now I realize to just let go of everything that does not belong to me, or no longer serves me purpose. I’ve had a rocky past but for-sure, you’re not going to meet most that have gone through the hell that I did, and still manage to be here, to help others. I truly, feel that I’m here to help heal.. however, I need to heal myself as well in this journey.

Maturing is life is keeping things private, really indulging in life, working hard and providing a future for your family.

No more drugs, insane nightlife, gangsters, and toxic/impulsive behaviors

More of living, presence, solutions, flights, experiences, good food, priorities and family.

I’m learning proper communication, empathy and moving with purpose

I’ve learned delayed gratification, so people can think I’m lying but in the end. I show what I want to show.. and it takes a bit but they’ll figure it out. Other people’s opinion doesn’t matter. You’ll be successful, when you realize that.

When I tell you, my life is going to change. It feels like a dream. Remember, to pray at your highest and lowest moments. I keep pictures, look at videos of my motivations to keep myself going. Don’t worry about the noise, keep going and everything that’s meant for you will stay, or fall right into your lap.

We never have enough time in the world. After 25, everything begins to fly by. I turned 26 here in The Bay. I lost momentum to focus on myself. I only began living my life after 25, since I left my relationship. I have to snap out of delusion and realize that my reality is my actual reality. Which is not a bad thing. You have no idea how much guilt from my sacrifices that I endure. I just have to understand to move with a purpose. Avoid meaningless shit for sure. I turn 27 in like six months. I feel like I’m gonna puke thinking about it. I won’t be young forever, but at least I age very well. I’ve played myself but set myself for whatever I put my mind to. It’s crazy but it works out. I realize that I have to be more careful because people do watch me.

No, it’s not ideal. Yes, I’m still building myself, healing and trying to focus on the present. Only focus on things I can control.

If you didn’t know, I constantly get lectured. Sometimes, I keep problems to myself instead of asking for help. Which is bad, but realize that no one can save you, but yourself. Always, always have an alternative plan. Try your best to do good deeds, and pray. We are in a spiritual war right now. So, always keep vibes and frequencies high. Coming from someone that understands both realms. I sound insane. Well, we all knew I was lol

You guys have no idea, on my weekdays. I will put both of my phones on DND. Then, lock myself in my apartment until I find opportunities for a design win. I’m serious. In sales, it feels like it’s never getting us anywhere but they starve you, and give you high hopes of hitting a high number. Once you receive that commission check, it reminds you that you’ll want more.

Career, side hustle, family and home

From there fix everything.

Not perfect but thankful and blessed to figure it all out.

I’m literally a lucky walking trouble

Anyways, three months ago. I saw myself moving to Simi Valley, now I see myself moving back to Charlotte because tech companies are booming out there now. There’s a ton of layoffs going on in The Bay, and I pray for those that lost their jobs. The cost of living is cheaper. I just have no reason to move back, tbh. The last time I visited. It just felt like I didn’t have any opportunity to grow out there. Everyone of my friends are married, and settled with their families out there. & I don’t mind having an apartment out here, I negotiated to travel every month as well. As long as my hotel is pretty decent. Here we go again. Sales, modeling, and nightlife we go.

The hustle is much different in The Bay. Plus, I don’t want to go back to any mistakes I made in Charlotte.

Then again, it’s either that or moving into a new home here in Texas, or in general. It’s so hard to survive out here. It’s fun, though. It’s all happening so quick. Everything shatters in my life and literally. I’m left broken, just to put it all together again. My body has been enduring abuse for nearly 15+ years. This is one of the first times, I’ve felt calm.

When I feel safe, I instantly fall asleep. That’s really rare.

Men tell me it’s rare to tame me. I’m not an animal, wtf. Though, I am hard to keep around. Another is to bring out the feminine side of me. I’m not dating like that, btw. I am emotionally detached.

I deal with people always trying to take me out. & it’s annoying. I don’t make time for anyone unless I really like them. Or they treat me really well. Then, I’ll begin to want to spend more time with them.

Materials make me happy but I don’t think it could replace a soulmate. I just learn to work, work, work. I hate giving my time to people, tbh. If I do, I pray to God; that I am spoiled rotten, and paid. It’s rare for me to take off of work for anyone. When I do, I cherish those moments a ton. I will only take time off for my family.

I am lost in my head and spaced out over half the time. I think, becoming more private is a good thing. It’s okay to not be relevant. I mean, I am one in of the largest venues in SF bottle girl 1015, on magazines, calendars, huge events, and in tech. It’s a lot to be honest. You would think I’m happy, I am thankful but it’s a ton to juggle just to make everything work. Those things don’t really matter tbh, I just want to be happy and have everyone around me happy. I’m the one that has to step up and get it together.

What are your triggers? and ask yourself why they’re your triggers.

My triggers are not having control, people that yell at me, people that are passive aggressive, clingy and indirect. Let’s do some self-reflection. I think I’m gonna hike in the Carolinas one day. Talk soon! Love your sis

You can’t break someone that constantly puts themselves together. It’s like breaking your knuckles and letting them heal. Broken bones, heal stronger.

As I’ve said in my previous posts, I’ve been in my head a ton. I learned to take more time to meditate. On my hour commute I take time to talk to God, spiritual ancestors, and guides to help align me.

I’ve learned to rebuke negative energy, and send it back to the receiver. Everything does not need my reaction, if I know karma will take care of it. I will not feed into insecure and low vibrations. I do not need to partake in activities that go against my moral values. I asked to break soul ties, so everyone could be released and move on.

I’ve prayed many times for God to remove the people that are not meant to be in my life. Just remember, when God removes anything in your life. It just means that there’s something better.

Psalm 23:4, John 3:16, Luke 21:1

Each one of those play a huge significance in my life. I know these on the top of my head.

You see, I’m expecting big things, whether others believe it or not. As long as I believe it, keep disciplined, and work hard. I know it will happen. I don’t give just anyone insight on every opportunity I’ve earned. That would be setting myself up. Not everyone wants the best for you either, and I realize that being public. People will find anything and everything. I’ve defied so many odds, it won’t be new this time. Those that stay with me, I’ll love them forever. For those that don’t, I wish them the best, and want them to be happy.

I’m beginning to see through all the BS. It’s like taking off a pair of dirty goggles and seeing everything crisp and clear. I can’t afford to waste time. My family member is slowing leaving me, I need to make sure financially everything is set up well. You can always get money back but never time. We can’t reverse these things. God, I pray that you keep my family alive, healthy and happy. I would give up my own life for everyone to prosper. That’s how deep loyalty runs. I need to be the stable one for everyone. Time is one thing I don’t have. You have to make sacrifices in order to reach certain goals. I promise. It will all pay off. I had to switch my mentality from, “I hope” to “I will”. It’s just, I’ve found myself lost in the sauce for a bit.

No, I don’t do black magic so as it may seem. I joke about it, but I do have an ability to feel, and dream of occurrences that are spot on. I’ll dive into that another day. However, I am very understanding of auras, energy, and spirits. I never use my knowledge for intent harm. I understand people really well, like.. their wounds. People always feel vulnerable and cry when they’re with me. Which, I appreciate.

It’s because I truly understand, and I know how to make a surrounding feel comfortable. When I’m in the right state of mind.

My family calls me, “Lucky girl” because I’ve made it through everything that could’ve killed me. It feels like I’m the opposite but truly, I am blessed to see another day. It gives me another reason to give 110%. It just takes focus. My life is becoming fruitful, and mind you, it’s all perception. Others outside could be envious that I’m still happy, after all of my obstacles. It’s sad that I won’t be able to tell my story on this blook, but just know.. everything that has been said. It’s happened to me. That’s the exact reason why I blank out, and wanted to un-alive myself. I do have struggles, but it’s the way I view them.. are they going to beat me? No. I have to organize and find a solution.

If you’ve been to my home, you’ll notice that I have at least three bibles with me, and sage. I think my mind protects me, to the point it would paint a pretty picture for me… then tell me to go for my dreams. Part of success is work, faith, community, consistency/discipline, focus and resiliency. Building resiliency is great from trauma but this mentality will eventually kill you, you’ll never be good enough for yourself.

People will always talk down, or make you look like a villain. Always keep in mind, if you have pure intentions and a kind heart. Your angels, ancestors and God will play their part. Learn to be patient. The energy you put out will always come back. When my life falls apart, I tell myself that I deserve it and become the evolved version of myself.

I have 24 hours before I fly off to my next destination. Everything is work for me, I can’t seem to turn it off but I know that one day. My boss even emails me to get sleep. I always tell myself to not be harsh on myself. People that have had an easier life don’t have an excuse for failure. They should be more successful. I literally, am a statistic.

It would’ve to stop pushing right? Even if you’re not good at something, keep going because eventually you’ll become good at honing your craft. Even with training, always add an extra rep or minute.

I grew up without parents, poverty, abuse, and neglect. Imagine.

I’ll get there where I can relax. I am positive at 30, that’s when I’ll look back and feel like I can relax a little bit.

At 31, that’s when I will be proud. Watch me ♥️

If you want something. You will be willing to do whatever it takes to get there. I started at a later time, I also have years upon years of wisdom.

We lose track of ourselves when we put others above us. I tend to be the type of person who is either all or nothing. I’ve jumped and fumbled one too many times, which leaves emotional scars for us. Sometimes, being disrespected hurts our ego. “It is what it is” should be the mentality, but how do some people become that way? I wasn’t always like that. I don’t think I am the best role model for this, but I am learning as I am going through the turmoil. I know that hard work will always pay off, one way or the other. It’s also easy to fall into our emotions, and I’ve learned that life is a game. Some play for the short term and others for the infinite. Every decision you make in life will have an effect. Everything that you do is a gamble. One of my weaknesses is that I am very impatient and impulsive. There are times where I don’t think thoroughly about all aspects. When it comes to relationships, it’s all or nothing. I’m beginning to realize that I’ll never let anyone close enough to hurt me, or men will just want me for sex. Really, that’s all it is. Women are in competition with one another. Not all, but most. My friends and I uplift each other, but you don’t find people like my friends.

I’ve been disrespected to my face, a ton. Remember, no matter how nice you are to people, they will always be themselves. The best way to combat that is to treat them how they treat you. I don’t believe in killing them with kindness. UNLESS I am in public, then I’ll be on my best behavior. I am generally very kind and genuine to my friends, but most will not be able to talk to me unless it’s through my friends. It’s a guard that I put up. Remember, I was not the mean girl growing up. I was the girl who bullied and made something out of herself. Not only am I resilient, but everything I’ve been through has made me scary when I’m upset. Crying is one thing, but anger is another.

So, how do I use this for my power?

Remind myself who I am:

Everyone has a purpose here. What is your purpose to be here? Who are you doing this for? If you have no idea, start off by creating an alter ego. Write down your weaknesses and then write the opposite. Those strengths will be your alter ego. Who would they embody? What would be their best contributions? Are they fit? Disciplined? Kind? Successful? Talented? What would their day look like? What type of life do they live? Give it a name. Think… the optimized version of you. I am always battling myself for a reason. However, it’s a good kind of pressure.

New affirmations:

Now that you have your alter ego, tell yourself ten good traits you want in the mirror. I call these mirror spells. Be careful with these. I’ve gotten over my head with these before. At least do them once a day. I did them in the morning. I don’t do my affirmations as much anymore. Now, I no longer need to fake it. You can feel my confidence when I enter a room. At first, it felt weird to talk to myself in the mirror, especially when I used to be so scared and insecure. Mine were: I am strong. I am successful. I am beautiful. I am humble. Speak well of yourself because they’re spells. I don’t do black magic like people would think, due to jokes. I am capable of it, but I’m more into healing and manifesting.

Write down new goals or old goals

Write down goals that you want to work on or that you want to achieve. Make a board on Pinterest and look at it every morning. Why check for a text from a person who doesn’t even want you? Worry about your goals. Go straight for them. I couldn’t care less if men call me boring for always chasing my goals, but in the end, you only have yourself. No one lives your life for you!

Start writing down a routine, water intake, diet, and workout. If you have a good body, skin, hygiene, and money, you already have more than 50% of others. Gear yourself to put yourself first. If you don’t like something, make small goals to achieve it. People will always talk, but it doesn’t matter because you’re always going to be attractive, paid, and have an amazing aura. Worry about things you can actually change.

Distract myself until I am successful and over it. I work around 18-20 hours a day. I think at times it can include the gym too. Also, keep yourself aligned with God or something you believe is bigger than all. I meditate, journal, manifest, and go to the gym. These things are important. Keep yourself busy with good habits because eventually everything will fall into place for you.

I started life a lot later than others but I am very quick. Once you’ve implemented these habits into your daily. You won’t have to pretend because you’ll be the most optimal version of yourself. This isn’t just geared for a breakup, heartbreak but in general. Keep your goals in an arms distance. Live your best life. Anything this possible.

Sometimes, when you hold onto a person, place, or thing, it can hold you back from reaching your potential. Mind you, I am writing this at 4:27 am on October 22nd.

It is better to think logically instead of letting emotions guide you. Logically, when you feel that something, a scenario, or someone is bad for you, you should walk away, no matter how tough it may be.

I began to let go and reinvest my time into myself. This includes learning new skills, taking care of my nails and hair, exercising, focusing on my health, and spending time with family and friends. If something is not meant to be, don’t force it. Only focus on what you can control and become a better version of yourself. You attract what you are, and when you start improving yourself and building daily habits, you emit a higher level of frequency that will attract success, money, and even relationships. Once you establish yourself, you will understand your triggers, how you best communicate, and how to be in tune with yourself. This means you will be secure with yourself, and that’s when you’ve reached self-awareness. Sometimes, you have to go through pain and suffering in order to find fulfillment. In my personal life, I let go of everyone I used to talk to. By reevaluating my life, I realized that these people wouldn’t have any drastic effect on my life. The only person in control of my life is myself. I knew it would be a painful and lonely process, but I know in the end, it’ll be worth it. I trust the process and let everything flow. It is what it is, and I focus on things I can control. I continue to work hard, do good deeds, and improve myself by 1% each day. My mentality is that if I don’t end up with anyone, I’ll end up with a better version of myself.

Remind yourself that you’re meant to be successful. Those who are meant to stay with you will simply do so. Take everything day by day, but always have a plan to execute your goals.

I’ve watched too many people around me cry, and the best way to understand this is to redirect energy. This pain can be used as motivation. Everything is truly a matter of perception. Even when you don’t feel like it, keep your head up and push forward. When you feel lost, identify your weaknesses and research ways to overcome them and improve yourself. Trust me, you’ll become such an optimal version of yourself that people will be attracted to you.

Focus on money, hygiene, fitness, self-awareness, and continuous learning.

It’s hard not to want someone who excels in all the areas I listed above. Options and opportunities will fall right into your lap. Pain is inevitable, but without it, we wouldn’t grow.

The last thing you want to be is insecure.

Begin to distinguish those that would only be around when you’re successful, or those that supported you at your lowest. Would they enamored with you if you were not you?

Regardless of the circumstances, I will always end up where I want to be. Set up goals. Set small increments to cut people off if they don’t serve you a purpose. You’ll begin to realize that life will piece together, once you choose yourself. The right people will resonate with your life and goals. It’s going to hurt, I promise but sometimes when events don’t occur the way you want them to. It’s a blessing for better opportunities

Life has been moving insanely quick for me. I’m learning to take breaks and slow down. Reevaluating goals and breakdown how I would strive towards success. It’s easy to hate someone that worries about their grind but it’s the toughest to match their ambition. Majority of beef that people have towards me, is one sided.

Industry: I’ve realized that industry is so different… kinda… harsh. I believe that people think modeling is glitz and glam, and nightlife is pure fun. However, nightlife is actually hard work. I’m lucky to have good friends. We are tired by the end of the night. My body has to become acclimated to the changes and stress.. which knocked my hormones out of control. I am having to relearn everything. Modeling, if you don’t have enough time to invest into yourself, ie hair, nails and gym. It’s hard to stay healthy and relative. You can be a cute girl but when people find out you’re a model, they are SUPER critical of you. Not only by your peers, but your own. Then, on the top of that, I deal with people that I’ve looked up to, that love to constantly put me down, talk down on me, and a community that would rather talk of me rather than address anything to my face. People that pray on your downfall, constantly. It’s a ton of negativity I put up with on my other side of my life. I deal with people thinking I am a total B*TCH but never having the chance to meet me in person. I have men that hate me for ghosting them. Men, that think I’m a gold digger because they feel inferior to men I’ve dated. I like people with ambition. I have women that don’t like me because of their friends. A modeling industry that treats everyone like they’re replaceable because they are. I’ve realized that when I focus on my grind, everything else around me falls. Modeling is not my catalyst. I am more inclined to run towards where I make the most money. Yes, it’s a brand but I wish I could just be normal again. Where every single move I do isn’t taken out of context. Where, it’s okay for my to have an off day. Corporate and family are really what keep me stable. I love my new friends I’ve made but Jesus. It’s tough to find balance but I’ve realized that the best come from a life without balance and most people that are normal wouldn’t understand that. I had to learn to not focus on anyone that speaks bad upon me. They don’t know me personally, just rumors. It’s high school again, and that part I have to stay neutral and work. Be more focused on goals. My body feels super depleted, truthfully. You can see the exhaustion. I want to quit but I remind myself that I have no other choice but to keep pushing. That’s the self deprecating portion of my life. I will die trying to get where I want to go. I think, that’s why I have a good understanding of sales. I’ve learned that sometimes you only get one shot for an opportunity. I tend to go with the flow, and that’s not really working out for me. Now, I am having to control everything, again.. which that used to be a problem. I’m learning to let go of people that are only around when I am doing good. If they can’t starve with you, they don’t need a seat at your table. My outlook in life is becoming very perplexed especially, after my first year. I really can’t mess up anymore. It’s either, “Kim doesn’t have the same energy”, “She’s too cocky”, or “I have tea on her”. I can’t have the same energy as I did when I was starting because I would be dancing with everyone, flirting and laughing. Now, I can’t even touch or talk to someone without the circumstances being misconstrued. Or, people think I am constantly cheating or being deceptive. I read energy well, so I can tell spot on from the jump. I feel that I am just tired and burnt out. I am super misunderstood, and maybe it’s because I don’t show the side where I am fun and goofy. So, no more men, women, and just focus on myself. People see, “Kim” they don’t see the mental breakdowns that occur every two days, they don’t see the agendas, self criticism, white board with duties and accolades to achieve. It looks like I’m having fun. Truth be told, I am tired, depressed, and alone majority of the times. Everything takes a toll on me, I know how to brush it off. I don’t even know who I can trust most of the times. My mind is my greatest enemy and best friend. I’ve pushed myself to great amounts of extents that most people wouldn’t be able to. Sometimes, I forget that I am a human being. I was too softhearted for this cold industry. It’s sink or swim, negative words.. this is only because I’m not just nightlife. I am literally a model. I really find it tough to navigate this portion of my life. I feel scattered, mentally and physically beat.

The crazy part is that those that have already paved their way, they’ve dealt with this. So, I guess this is just my turn.

Everything else that’s important, I would rather keep that world away from everything that can taint it. I’m understanding self worth and trusting God. New chapter, even though I feel like I’m losing myself.. I am the toughest critics. Trust me, you have no idea. Then again, I’ve survived so much that most people couldn’t endure.

Realizing your worth.. learn to walk away from people, places and situations that no longer serve you.

Take a step back and allowing the universe to take the wheel. I’m learning to surrender and let go. If you hold onto something too tightly, you wouldn’t be able to manifest that you’ve wanted. Realize that energy is created, not destroyed but transformed. I can’t control the actions of others but I can control myself. Sometimes, you ever think to yourself maybe, things don’t happen because God dreamt bigger for you? I tend to be very spiritual and inclined to fall into my meditation habits. I live in a world where I can write my thoughts and visions into my journals. I feel with the right intent, and vision boards you can truly have anything you want.. or even better.

I have a tendency to run away from my issues, and use work to replace having to face the pain I’m in. My last one always told me, I would never find anyone after him that would treat me right.

I’ve just walked away from my twin, someone that understood me on a different conscious level like never before. A similar past, mentality, our hearts would literally beat in synchronicity. Then again, it was probably in my head. So, time to cut it off. However, sometimes you don’t get your cake and to eat it.. and maybe.. it took me to realize my self worth to realize that other men treat me better than he does. He’s still young but I’m not here to wait an eternity. I decided that it’s best for me to work on myself and goals, and what’s destined for me will find me. Tbh, I am glad I did let go. We were better off as acquaintances, which I’m content with. We meet people for a reason.

Then again, my mind is set to have myself from there. Running away and not tackling my issues caused me to avoid a ton of issues which ended up, becoming patterns. Now, I begin to push others away but wish them well. Slowly, I’m beginning to understand that my triggers are what I need to work on. I don’t like anyone raising their voice at me, or speaking to me with a condescending tone. I will walk with courage and stand up for myself. Realizing your worth is also realizing to walk away from careers, and toxic environments that don’t treat me well. Walk away people that don’t take time to understand you. Walk with your head up and dignity because the pain you’re enduring will be the reason why you are much wiser in the end. I used to be scared about walking away from my career. However, money is energy and if you chase money, you’ll never feel like you have enough. Honestly, once you have money.. everyone else around you will always want it from you. Think of it… the concept of money isn’t really real. It’s a number in my account, it’s just energy. Once you realize to find your purpose money will come and flow to you once you’re doing what you love or you’re grateful for what you have currently. Your mentality should be that you are thankful for what you have so, when you’re blessed, you don’t lose track of vision.

Leaving relationships that no longer serve me.

When I love, I love really hard and nowadays in this generation a good heart can cause you more pain than what’s needed. I get told by the age of 27, I’m spoiled goods. Part of me believes it but that’s why it’s always best to put yourself before anyone else. I am the one in my family to that has enough delusion and ambition to push beyond extent for them. Always, always, always focus on your goals. Once you achieve them, you will have a higher frequency, which you’ll attract and be present in places that you wouldn’t have been without your success.

What is yours will always come back because it is meant to be yours. Believe in divine timing, and good deeds. My mentor has taught me to have patience and I remind myself of a younger version of myself

I was uncontrollable, and I still am when upset. I have learned to take a step back because once I’m at an extent. There’s no coming back. I learn to stay calm, even when triggered. I breathe slowly, while looking at someone I want to murk lol jk.. not really. You can feel the tension and anger but I don’t react upon it. It takes self control. With small incremental of discipline, goals and a mentor. It is tough to not become successful.

BTW

THOSE THAT ARE SUCCESSFUL DO NOT FIT IN.

You’re always constantly breaking new glass ceilings and that’s the toughest to understand .

It hard for me to grasp that because I kill it at everything that I do. I forget to realize that others try to bring me down, and even isolate me. Power is silent. Being a sharp shooter is not easy. Talent is talent, and real will recognize real. I promise you, it’s an energy that will we feel.

Life gets so hectic. Starting a new year requires time, reflection and a new plan. Time to close a chapter and open a new one! This is the year that we keep our future goals private, but continue to work and pursue our goals.

2023 was one hell of a year for me.

Ps: I’ve been dragged through it all, regardless of accomplishments. I’ve signed contracts that I’ve regret. I’ve love, lost and still had to persevere. Yet, I am still figuring it all out! I love quality time with my family because I don’t always get time with the people I love. I’m invested on chasing future stability for their freedom. So, when I do get the chance and downtime. I use it for the people I love. I’m happy even just sitting down and eating with them.

Resilience is not a trait that is built over time. Rome was not built over time. It takes courage to face your challenges and walk through the flames. Regardless, of the trials and tribulations that may occur.

To be the best version of yourself is to learn to build yourself. When I meet other CEOs, they can lack the skill of confidence and resiliency. Mind, you, even though they’re CEOs of their company, you are the CEO of your life!

Creating a business is very tough, on top of everything because you’re constantly facing a new obstacle. Learning new skills, and have to learn with trial and error. It’s life.

Everything occurs on divine timing, and keep faith in something bigger because hope can take you very far in life. Sometimes, even if you’re in pain or in a difficult situation it’s how to position yourself for your future. Realize who you are, what you want, how you will get there.

Journal: So that you can feel, let it off to it chest, manifest and plan your goals. Be sure to visualize. A lot of people lack of vision. Include, affirmations. Reprogram your mind.

Drink water & small workouts: I started off with Chloe Ting ten minutes a day until I was ready to power lift an hour a day. You will begin to see results and become addicted. Start off small.

For water make sure that you keep yourself accountable, alerts don’t work for me. You don’t have to purchase this bottle but buy a large container for your water intake to keep yourself accountable.

Remember. ONLY FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL.

Surround yourself with good content and a small circle with good friends and family. Your circle of five friends will be who you will become similar to. Be wise with your time.

I love you guys all sooo much!!

Have you been hurt constantly?

Growing up without the knowledge of self-worth makes us tolerate conditions that did not serve us well. Just because you’ve been through hell, doesn’t mean that you deserve it nor that you should put up with it.

I would have made a video upon this topic, but I will wait for a bit later on. I’m aging gracefully but love to teach others that were once in my shoes to grow their wings, and fly.

We are going to work on our boundaries

When you’re in a relationship with a narcissistic person. There’s times when you become comfortable with a cycle. Where , becoming upset, trying to voice how you feel, having emotions unvalidated and feeling guilt. Mind you, gaslighting will make you feel guilt and even keep you in a toxic relationship. There’s times where someone will tell you one thing because they know it would hurt you. Or, they would isolate you from your friends and family. Double standards is another concept, where it’s acceptable for the other party to react a certain way but not for you.

Having to stand strong on your boundaries will teach people that;

1. You value yourself

2. Stand on business

Being a people pleaser will have you hurt in the end. Being compassionate is one thing but being a walk on mat is another.

If someone shows you their true colors the first time. Usually, for me it’s our first argument. Don’t ever forget that they treated you. Keep it noted, and you decide whether you want to keep them in arms distance or if you want to cut them off. Healthy boundaries, and communicate establish a healthy relationship with yourself and others. I’m in a position where I am able to depict how close I want people to me. At times, people think that they are closer than what they are.

If you had healthy boundaries and understood self worth, these red flags would have been detected earlier. Mind you, we cannot get our time back. I was in a relationship till 25, and that’s my mid twenties and built myself from 25 and on. So, I am giving you my input on what I’ve learned. I would usually use AI to help me with this portion but a human touch in my personal development blog is much needed. With a narcissistic person, silence is the best way to combat their abusive or their counteracting techniques. Healthy boundaries are a vital part in your personal life, career or even when you’re an entrepreneur. Sometimes, you have to give the snip snip.

IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO MAKE OTHERS HAPPY.

It’s your job to make yourself happy. Yes, family is vital but family can also overstep the lines. Even children, teaching a child to have boundaries will teach them to become confident and understand that this is where I draw the line. I’ve read CBT books, and sometimes I would talk to my past relationships with when in an altercation, like I am talking to a child. It helps, when an adult so throwing a fit.

Recognize

Your own opinion

What you will compromise

Information that you are willing to share

How to say no

How to realize a boundary has been destroyed

As men would say, they have dealbreakers, as a woman I don’t like when people overstep. Meaning, if I don’t share something or if I am not ready. Don’t force it.

“I feel uncomfortable with sharing that information with you”

If they ask why? Tell them, I feel uncomfortable, and that you’re trying to establish healthy boundaries. If they respect you, then they would understand. If they don’t, well, that’s shows you that they don’t value you.

People pleasers do not get far, they get walked on. It’s those that break glass ceilings that get what they deserve because they have the audacity to ask for it

One of my triggers is when someone raises their tone with me.

“I need you to change your tone of voice when speaking to me, or else this conversation is over”. —- stand on how you wanted to be treated.

If you had a nephew, niece or child how would you want their significant other to speak to them? We are setting standards for the next generation.

I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than waste time with toxicity. You have to believe that you are the prize. For me, I am the prize but no one can win me. I am just for myself.

I strategically will place people on certain tiers, know your worth. You are worthy.

If there’s a weakness learn to cut it off. I cut people off with by using this method.

– I find a reason why I don’t like something or feel disrespected

– I address how it made me feel, and why

– I start to distance myself slowly with small increments over time. I usually respond very quickly.

When I lose interest, it goes from ignoring people from one hour, to four, to eight, to days, months, years and then I cut them off. I no longer need their energy or enjoy their presence. Or, they no longer align with your values.

Now, I am quick to the point, friends or nothing. Respect my boundaries or nothing. Speak to me kindly, or nothing.

To become a strong woman, it takes time and patience. I used to be scared, shy and timid. I couldn’t even stand to be in a room full of people. I would cry easily. It’s all about the small success

New Year Day has always been a hard time for me. Truthfully, this is when I am reflecting upon trauma, failures and everything that went wrong. However, I’ve learned to shift the mentality to taking the good out, and saying bye to the rest. Keep in mind, that whatever has happened that it always comes back around. Know your capabilities but always try to keep a good heart, even if it can be tough. God, will always protect his own.

Last year, has taught me everything I needed in the end of the year. I’m learning that all I have is myself, and majority of my friends are not my friends. I come off promiscuous and fun, but truly I am a homebody, that’s really weird. It’s been this way all of my life because of how I am perceived. Truthfully, it gives me an upper hand because people doubt me the most. My life gives people something to talk about, so might as well as use that platform to educate someone and improve others lives. Most people did envy my life, without understanding that surmount of damages that I’ve endured my entire life. Mind you, my social media is a facade. My Blog however, is where I am the most vulnerable. I am trying to teach, even if it’s just one person This is not a sob story, I am giving you an insight on why I tend to isolate. I take full accountability for the actions I have caused to myself. However, there are countless of times where I kept a kind heart to good people and endured the pain. The difference is, this cultivated me to become resilient, and drive my faith. Anyone that has survived the amount of abuse that I have, are detached. Just know, that everything will come back around. Please keep fighting, or swimming. Majority of us daydream because our mind had to take us out of reality. We get triggered and even when everything is right. Mentally, we feel alone. We are used to fight or flight mode. Nothing really disappoints me. I am here for you. However, it is hard to stay strong all the time. I have parts of my life where I feel like I have failed because I am unable to provide my presence and care to my family. I am able to materially provide. That’s what I am trying to work on for the next year. For those of you that are in the process of becoming a survivor, I hope my life will be your survival guide coming up. I will be writing for my next blog post + video on how I did. All that I ask, is that when you’ve successfully achieved your goals that you keep your family with you (if they’re good to you).

So, if you feel stuck, it’s okay. I was once that girl studying in horrible conditions and feeling like I wouldn’t get anywhere. Always do what you can, you’re the only who truly knows yourself, well. Don’t take on responsibilities when you know that you’re unable to fulfill, or if you’re not ready. It’s okay to acknowledge that, once you’re ready you’ll be better than ever.

If you’re opening your business, keep the career, and your own branding and build. The thing is, you want your job to pay for your lifestyle and then your business to lift off and enhance it. Once you’re ready you can leave your career. For now, it’s temporary pain for longtime success.

Also, regardless of words. Know that you’re going to be successful. You fought battles that most people couldn’t bear to walk in. You’ve faced the world falling, and putting the pieces back together on your own.

As we know this book is about self-improvement. I think my purpose of being here and my experiences in my lifetime has taught me quite enough. Take my experiences, steps and advice as a foundation for your recipe and you add your additional spices to become better. I want everyone to be better than I am. It shows that I’ve taught someone enough to strive for higher. (I’ll have a video up but I’m recovering from the flu and sound like squidward)… Tbh, I find that most traffic generated on this site are for the posts in general. Which, I truly appreciate. I think, it might be the SEO.

Some topics we will touch base on is

How to Heal from a heartbreak, leveling up mentally, physically, and career/school wise. Sadly, the cards that have been handed to me were not from the best deck. Luckily, though you are not alone, and I most likely have the answer! We will figure this out together!

Our topic of the week is Narcissism

Ps: this is not a jab at anyone from my past. You were all great……………….. and I am thankful for our past. Chapter closed.

However, for the sake of my younger selves, I’m going to teach you how to save your time. I know, you may think that, “he’s/she/they/them is the one for you”.

Common sentences:

“No matter what, I can’t let them go”.

“He/she/they/them will be better next time”

“It just happened once”

“He/she/they/them is sorry” or never taking accountability.

“The highs are highs, and lows are lows”

Let me save you time, darling and let you know that you may be a victim of Narcissistic abuse. There’s a cycle, red flags, that most narcissists follow. It’s like a check box. The faster you can leave one, the better you’ll find the right one that’s for you. I have a bit of narcissistic tendencies too, I am highly self aware. This post is coming from someone that has those tendencies and has dealt with men with the same tendencies as well.

So, let’s roll

How to Spot A Narcissist (Bullseye ) :

I work with what I call, “Chads” in my field of sales. Majority of men in this field are handsome, charismatic, narcissistic, and sociopaths. I love them, don’t get me wrong and not all of them are like this but being around an abundant amount of these types of people (both genders) helped me become cognizant of reading their energy, and body language.

Most narcissistics need to feel a need importance or seek external validation to feed their egos. They will literally go insane if they don’t receive attention. Thats why your best ammunition when combating a narcissist is learning how to keep your power, and not give them too much time and energy.

They lack of empathy, and most of the time they won’t show it. They come off very magnetic, likable, charismatic, chivalrous, and nearly perfect. They’re not. Majority, of the times they are mirroring you or have done their research on you before even speaking to you. They see you as their prey, or trophy.

Entitlement and arrogant, there’s a huge difference between confidence and entitlement/arrogance. Most narcissistic tend to think that they are better and are deserving of everything. This mentality in corporate is rewarded, even as athletes in school. They may think they’re hot shit, and no one can knock them down off their pedestal. Confidence: is being understanding in your skills, accepting humiliation, and believing in continuous learning and improvement

Narcissists: believes they have no flaws, and they’re absolutely perfect. (Other terms) Everyone else around them sucks.

Envy/Jealousy: They are overly competitive with their friends, easily jealous or agitated. This is a HUGE red flag. It shows that they are insecure. That’s the energy that you don’t want around you. Realize this, from what I’ve learned. If a man is insecure, he will try to dim your shine. Once you leave, that’s when you will begin glow up the most. Even with friends, once I am told by someone that they are jealous, or even feel a bit of resentment towards me in a way. I will space myself. Surround yourself with positive vibes. An insecure person will drag you down in life, and hold you back from your highest potential.

Lack of accountability: They will never take accountability for the harm that they have done to you. If anything the narcissist will shift blame onto you, even if they did you wrong in every aspect. If they can’t get to you. Then, they will speak badly upon you to others to change their perception of you. Stay calm, you know yourself best. Those that have watched you endure your abuse know the truth too. My therapist Ms. Olga told me, that narcissists won’t feel empathy for hurting you. They will tell you things like, their family said you deserved to be beaten if they knew you cared how people looked at you. The only way for you to address these things are spot on. I take forever to address a lot, and ignore everyone. Now, I’ve learned to save time to be upfront. The narcissist will find your weakness and break you down bit by bit. Even, convince you that you are the crazy one, when truthfully, they way you reacted to the gaslighting, cheating and abusive was your reactive state of mind. You can’t continue to hurt someone, and expect the same love. Women will detach mentally before they do physically. I sure well, damn did. However, I’m not made to be in a relationship.

Stages in a narcissistic relationship

Lovebomb (Idealization)

This comes with extravagant gifts, perfection, adoration, complements and all of the above. Don’t get me wrong, I love all of this and all significant others don’t. The part I draw the line is when someone wants to date my after fifteen minutes of meeting me, asking me to commit after five days, and trying to wife me up. I love a sweet person, but someone that wants to learn you well. Take things slow and build over time, I would take that over someone that wants to jump the gun.

Devaluation

Occurs when they begin to degrade you, put you down because you don’t give them what they want. Whether it is sex, or their way in general because they have control issues

Sometimes, you might even be gaslit into thinking that you were in the wrong or what you have felt or thought had not occurred or is invalid. I will touch base on gaslighting soon, for I’ve learn from my previous ones, due to observation.

Trianglution:

The narcissist will bring a third party/ others into your business and manipulate their ideas onto others or influence the people around you. Make up lies about what people had said, because they knew it would hurt you. They’ll do WHATEVER it takes to keep you around.

Don’t be trapped.

Especially, if you’re a good woman, and they “can’t see you with anyone else”. They will try their best to do anything to trap you in that moment. Remember, you are strong enough to break the cycle. Treat your emotions like a business.

Hoovering: When relations ends but party stalks or at times seduces back into a relationship.

Mind you, toxic is fun but it sure is not a forever thing. Unless, you want it to be. Then, it’s going to be a painful journey.

1. Play along (if you dare) but it’s going to hurt. Have an escape plan, play the damsel in distress. The perfect wife. They’re right, you’re wrong. You love them, and would never leave. Play the part like your life depends on it. Meanwhile, have an emergency bag ready, make sure that you strategize and have a plan. So, you don’t leave yourself to nothing.

2. CUT OFF ALL TIES

3. If you’re toxic, you will go HOT THEN COLD, FIND THEIR WEAKNESS, PLAN YOUR ESCAPE, PLAY MORE, WHILE YOU BUILD A FOUNDATION -- ESCAPE.

I’ve had someone email me, stalk me irl/social media, throw a rock at my window to get my attention, literally, the hardest part is to cut off ties. Once you do, take it day by day. They will not change, if they wanted to they would’ve. They would have taken therapy seriously. They would have read self help books. They have enough discipline for things they love, if they loved you? Why wouldn’t they change for you. They won’t.

Narcissistic don’t change, they change partners and find a new victim.

REMAIN DETACHED, and nonchalant

When I’m getting screamed at or offended it is tough to get under my skin. Detach, and do not give in. Their eyes will dilate because they enjoy this. Stay silent, quiet and that you don’t care. They want to break you down. When they realize they can’t. They begin to become insecure and back to being sweet.

Find support

You’re going to need to have friends/family to help you realize that this is not normal

It feels normal but it’s not. They will help you.

Find the right people.

And if you CAN

MOVE TO A DIFFERENT STATE/CITY and start your journey

DO NOT JUMP INTO A RELATIONSHIP

Find yourself and build. You will be stronger than ever.

Why YOU are the Target of Narcissistic people

EXTREMELY LOYAL, COMPASSIONATE, YOU DON’T GIVE UP EASILY, PEOPLE PLEASE, AND CONSIDERATE -- PEOPLE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF NICE PEOPLE

A private girl, can be a thriving girl too! This year is your year to cut off, boss up, and begin to immerse yourself in knowledge.

Pretty girl vibes means to me sweet soul, boss, demanding when needed, someone that knows her self worth, hustler, educated, high emotional intelligence and intelligence. Do not give your body to anyone, keep your body sacred, and cherish being alone. You’ll learn so much once you’re in tuned.

The first celebrity that comes to my mind is Saweetie!

When we bring up boss babe, people automatically think we’re going to degrade men, however, it’s a woman with a vision and nothing or no one can take that away from her.

Life is a game, it’s a reality game think of it as an RPG game. This Universe is all energy, pretty girl vibes, you match a high frequency and you don’t let people that vibe at a lower frequency in your circle. Since life is a game; your life is a choice of right and wrong choices. The more right choices that you choose, and how you allocate your time will be the result of you winning. YOU ARE THE MAIN CHARACTER. Most people would call me insane but you have to be insane to be a genius or someone that breaks glass ceiling. Walk your own in your own lane, once you win you will begin to attract what is meant for you. One thing about a strong woman, it’s hard to beat us, because we see our failures as learning lessons, we move on and improve!

How to elevate?

Start a skin care routine, workout routine, choose a skill to learn, keep yourself busy with self improvement, eat more clean, meditate , Pilates or weights, maintain hair, hygiene, and journal. Start with small steps, and instead of using instagram, I actually use Pinterest. In order to raise your vibrations, cut anything and anyone off that doesn’t deserve your time. Learn how to space yourself from toxicity slowly. Also, learn to not care what people around you think. Remember, you are the main character in your life story. If you think of it like a game of dream life. Before you make a decision, think of four options, good, great, best, and amazing. Once you raise your vibrations, everything will fall right into your lap. Your time is something that you won’t get back. So be sure to use it wisely!

WELCOME TO DETACHMENT 101

I will be your teacher on this blog to help you level up with the wisdom that I’ve gained from my decisions in life.

LET’S START:

Don’t you think you’ve been the nice person for a bit too long? I don’t think it’s fair for you to sacrifice your boundaries to feed someone’s ego. Your time is your money. We only have so much here, since it’s relative. Do you think your purpose in life is not to evolve? Life in general evolved around growth and evolution. So, when you’re closing doors, you’re opening and making room for new beginnings. The unknown will be an exciting enough adventure to help you forget.

Enough rambling,

Take notes, because I learned to cut off my own mother officially from my life at age 12. I have not spoke to her since. Mind you, I also learned to play the game in my last relationship of almost ten years. I was detached at year 3, but still held on when I felt absolutely nothing.

Steps:

Make a list of what bothers you, the

Learn to become an alchemist: meaning, learn to transform your anger, sadness to something that’s beneficial for you. They get scared when you begin to level up. The Law of Action. Not everyone deserves your energy.

Focus on your upgrade in life. Shera777 would tell you to date a rich guy (if you’re getting out of a relationship) in my opinion I would only do that if he’s willing to invest in you, your business and cares about you. It’s a tit for tat. I hope you’re picking up what I’m putting down!

Don’t look back after leaving or cutting people off. Remind yourself that the disrespect is not worth coming back. My sister taught me that your true power is Silence. If anyone burns a bridge with you; you need to block it. They can’t burn a bridge if it didn’t even exist to you. She taught me to never underestimate a powerful woman.

This leads to controlling your emotions, never let your emotions control your level of activity in life. Even if your heart is hurting or you feel betrayed. Keep going, even when you’re wounded.

Don’t let anyone run game on you. If you keep forgiving people, they will devalue you, because you devalue yourself enough to let someone treat you with disrespect. Would they treat their parents or loved ones like that? Even if they did, why would you even let yourself get into that predicament? You’re not living life to be walked on. You deserve more.

Your upgraded version of yourself to will be their karma. I used to cry over the girls my last would cheat on me with. I promised myself that I would become a model, similar to those girls and have a huge booty. However, he will never be able to have access to who I am now. (Not that he would want to, he’s taken & I’m happy for him)

Once I leave. I am done. Relationships, family and friendships. You don’t need to let everyone have access to your aura. Especially, if you’re a healer.

Journal: I sound like a broken record but I have so many journals it’s insane, it’ll give you some clarity to write everything down. I’m a visual learner so, I’m constantly writing things down, and strategizing.

It takes practice to cut people off, trust me. I’ve been in situations where my sister and I stopped talking. It ripped my heart into pieces but we mended it. We’re back and even stronger as a family. Crazy part. Is that we both worked on healing.

Remember, you have the entire galaxy and an immense amount of opportunities. Live life, happily, and you’re only in this body once.

Put yourself first. Winners always have to be selfish in the beginning. We sacrifice time, and end up so lonely but knowing that we’ve made something big of ourselves. Keep in mind, when one door closes, another opens. When things feel horrible, it means better is coming your way.

Keep your circle small, if there is a small feeling of your gut that you can’t trust someone. There do is a reason why. That’s why, I keep people at a distance. Listen to your intuition, keep them close but not close enough to hurt you. Anyone can turn on you. So, always keep that in the back of your head. You really only have yourself.

Don’t get revenge, time will unfold everything. The Law of Karma.

Start creating new hobbies, learn a new skill, something to keep your mind off.

Start by telling yourself it is what it is.

Find the reason why you’re attached to this person? What wounds do you have that’s keeping you on a hold to someone that hurts you?

Power is silent, and silence is a LOUD answer. That’s why most successful men I know, are very low key. They’re happy and have nothing to prove.

Play the same game, or even do it better. Learn patterns: make them rely on you, and when you’re ready to leave. You’ll have a plan, along with being detached. (If you’re in a toxic relationship)

Realize that, God or the universe has your side, cutting people off can be a blessing. The disrespect was not, but everything good comes in when you’re able to vibe high. You don’t need someone draining your energy.

I’ve cut people off, and I wished I did earlier because my life was gifted with a ton of abundance that I held myself back from.

Realize that, their next move does not matter. Let them be themselves and you, stay in your own lane. Most people don’t have enough discipline to learn and improve themselves. They will eventually dig themselves into a hole, and you’ll be on another level where people can’t even reach you.

Your silence will be the killer of their ego, since you’re not giving them a reaction. Nonetheless, don’t even let them have access to your growth. Most people want to stick around to keep tabs on you. Cut it off. They no longer exist to you anymore. & it’s okay, wish for the best and goodbye. Focus on your goals, and end game.

It’s okay to outgrow people, and it’s okay for them to outgrow you. There’s people in life that are not meant to be forever but you did learn a lesson from them. We meet everyone for a reason.

Forgive yourself for your decisions. I realized how stupid I was for letting people have control or access to me, but told myself that I will learn from this and value myself. Uphold higher standards for myself. I played myself the most in the end.

Remember, what you want is not what you always need. Learn to be patient and delayed gratification. Be aware of what you think, and energy you’re putting your thoughts into. Manifestation starts with a thought, so the less you think of betrayal from family, friends or significant other. You will have more clarity.

Don’t expect anything from anyone, and always look both ways, and be aware.

Terms and Laws

LAW 16

Use absence to increase respect.

Too much of something will lose value

STOICISM (women that understand this concept always win)

Prioritize positive and calm environments. Individuality, self-respect, and your connection with God is the utmost important.

** add in fire photo and credits

Let’s dive into it!

Taking back your energy, and learning to place your focus onto your goals. So, I was hurt by seven friends, and trust me. Nothing hurts more than betrayal and having to let go of people you’ve once loved. In the end you really have yourself and God. Instead of feeling sad, find a skill to obsess and kill it in that skill.

Lately, life has felt accelerated so quickly but I’m still left feeling stagnant. Which, everyone feels so often.

Energy is created, not destroyed but can always be transformed. Life is not going to be linear, without its downfalls we wouldn’t have growth. I guess, I word it by stating that they’re lessons. Life is about growing, and without growing we wouldn’t evolve. The world and everything around us constantly evolves.

Trust me, when I’ve told you that I been out through so much. Even death couldn’t stop me.

Everything is made of atoms, and our body creates energy by being existent. Understanding this, is important because you realize that our thoughts create and action. So, being sad won’t get you anything but sad outcomes.

How do you do it?

Use the energy of being sad, and input that into a goal that you’d like to achieve to become a better version of yourself. Small, steps will lead to impactful outcomes. I am a visualization type of person. So, I am always drawing web charts, and listing my goals, and making small steps from there. When you die, you take happy memories with you, and sadness is wasting time; time you won’t get back. Life is not meant to be easy, but it’s all perception. Cut off your distractions, and everything that will hold you back from your goals. Trust God, and the Grind. Keep your moral values and intent pure.

When does this feeling occur? When do I feel it working?

Well, self work, and development is not an overnight process. Give yourself time, document and keep track of goals. Three months, you will have built better habits. Remember, energy can always be transformed. So, just like working out. You’ll become stronger and you’ll feel it. Emotions are confusing, and scars heal within time. It’s going to take time to heal. My end goal is to get rich, disappear, and chase my purpose go help transform the lives of others. My vision doesn’t need a camera to broadcast my accomplishments. Be in a place where other’s agenda is not your concern unless it’s business or impactful to your purpose. Emit positivity if you can, and you’ll match the frequency of what you want. You’d be surprised what the universe will give you. Understand that our frequencies are like radio stations. We have to match the frequency of our desires, then tune into it.

Don’t compare. Keep going. Small steps and consistency will take you further than long strides, that are inconsistent.

My life is insane, and I had to go through it in order to help others.

“Ms. Spocom” when it’s actually Kim Tha

Some questions that run into my head on a daily basis.

What is my purpose?

Why do I feel so lost?

Why do I feel empty?

So, I’ve actually moved. Away from a lot but one thing I’ve learned to was to cut off emotions. Honestly, it is a blessing but a curse at the same time.

Industry, all in all has been great and has its ups and downs … plus I’ve been pretty straightforward about my mental health. So, I’ve taken a lot, I mean a lot of time trying to process everything.

One thing that you have to realize is that everything happens for a reason. Truly, if something or someone is not meant for you. It will not be aligned with you.

1. Time is not something we get back. We have 24 hours in a day, so use it wisely.

2. You have to make sacrifices for what you want. Life is not about being happy but what is logically smart for the moment

3. Do not let your past define you. People can change but you have to take yourself away from everything that has once defined you.

4. Your thoughts become your own reality, and sometimes it takes your back being against the wall to realize that you can think outside of the box.

Lately,

Everything in this city is an eye opener. I’ve been told at the speed I was in The Bay under two years, that I’ve done a lot. I’ve decided to take a different route in this new city, I will soon realize as my home.

The entire point is, there’s times that you won’t be dealt with the best cards, but it is truly how you decipher how you play this game called life. In this industry, I had to learn to live a double life where I did, “fake it to make it”

All I knew in sales was that. We are the frosting on the cake, even if the foundation is off. Truly, you would never know where life leads you but even if you’re walking through hell, keep going.

For my family; I am so sorry that I’ve failed but I’ll make it up. Promise.

Truly,

Most people in The Bay saw me as a rising star. I blew up quick as a model but I never saw the worth in myself as just a model. I am so much more than that. I eventually strive to help my family, and community. Then, eventually live out my life.

I am far from perfect but, here’s a few lessons that I’ve learned.

1. Keep good people around you

2. You have to be selfish, to be selfless

3. Pray.

4. Use timers and reminders

5. Do not over share and trust easily

6. Be kind to everyone and shake hands – you would be so surprised in regard to the doors that it can open

7. Stay calm under stressful situations

8. It’s okay, to not be okay.

9. Read, and question everything

10. Do not think with emotions, Molly Bloom has once said. “In this game, you need to take calculated risks, if you fail to take them. You will lose this game.”

Take it from me, and this memoir, I’ve been through so much but the ratio of my BS and where I should be in life are not quite at the same level. Surround yourself within a circle that can elevate you.

There are many obstacles that should have broken me, but instead they build me to become a resilient person. Eventually, my mentor Alex once said.. eventually.. you will find your tribe and circle that are meant for you. Which, at first I never understood because I felt like I lost all of my friends in January of 2024 and now, well.. I barely have any looking at my right or left side that were worth keeping aside for three. I would definitely choose my new circle any day.. just remember that everything takes time. Everything is not always surface level because once you have that, then you realize that the things that truly matter is someone’s characteristics and how much impact they can eventually leave into the world.

I am not a model, I am not Ms. Damn Spocom.

I’m Kim, and you’re just gonna watch me grow for here.

How does a woman like me become so nonchalant and calm under pressure? The world can seem like it’s crashing down, and well. Truly, it is. However, one thing to take into consideration is that it is all perception. Life will not always become an easy road to drive on. At times, I tend to see life as a hike, there’s different levels to the top. We don’t get to choose the mountain we climb (life) however; there’s a bottom and a top. While you’re hiking the mountain the toughest part is being in the middle, because you truly can’t see how far up you’ve gone, and it’s too late to go back down. It’s harder to climb up a mountain rather than go down. It’s truly on you, whether you want to quit or not. There’s many events in life that we cannot change. Like, a car crash, getting sick, and how people treat us. You can only worry about what you can control. The moment you begin to overtly question and dwell, not only does it lower your vibrations but you begin to worry about things that no longer matter that can hinder you. I’ve been known for, “rolling with the punches”. Example, my ten year relationship or moving to Los Angeles so abruptly. I was supposed to move with friends but I ended up in Los Angeles on my own. I sold my car, quit my corporate job, and side hustle. Even crazier, I left my family behind because I was running away from someone. This year was the toughest year of my life, especially after my heart attack at 27, and my life nearly being destroyed at 27. I’m still 27 as I am writing this. Crying, pity, and anger will not fix anything. The whole point was that, I know that life has been really screwed up to me, but without the trials and tribulations I wouldn’t have the wisdom that I do now. There’s another Buney out there that’s going through poverty and getting bullied. There’s another child that was in my shoes and maybe my story will help someone. Focus on the things you can control. Everything outside of your control is out of your power. You can plan for the future. Where do you want to be? What are the next steps to get th ere? Who do you need to meet? What type of person do you want to become? If xyz, did not pan out? What’s the next solution? If you don’t know the solution, what’s truly the problem? Ideally, what would be the opposite of the problem (usually the solution) then, make steps.If you keep yourself working for a long term goal, you will eventually get where you want to be in life. Remember, character is not something that can be bought. It is truly earned. The qualities in life that are free, most do not have anymore. We live in a fast paced superficial generation where people no longer possess quality traits. Those that know and understand value will find value in those traits such as integrity, loyalty and honesty. Money will bring out the ugly in people, so when you have it all. Spirituality is the next thing that is being dived into but having a community of people you trust feels ensuring. The simple things. We recognize our own is a real thing. So, the tougher route at times is worth it. In the long run, it is a marathon. Not a race. Fast money is great, truly. However, if you earn it fast, you can lose it as fast too. High risk and high reward. A game of sales. & in sales there’s always that one big deal that we remembered that we fumbled. Truly, life is about the journey and learning. We develop at our own pace. Not everyone comes from the same background but the grit between someone that has earned it, is much different than one that was given. I’ve dated two different types of men before. One: He worked at 9-5 until he was 28. & he realized that he didn’t want to be a slave to society. He made his way into real estate. He owns a McLaren and is in SF, He always told me, whatever you do. Do not do it for free. He never cared about how anyone made their money because a business is a business. Money is money. <<<<——- That is a hustler who made it from grit. Compared to a man who came from money. He will tell you that there’s a “right way” and “wrong way”. He won’t even match your hustle. Most real entrepreneurs, will not care about how you make your money. As long as you make it. They would rather see you win, than see you broke. I’m learning a lot myself. It’s destructive because I’m trying to tame the hunger and ambition inside of me, knowing well I can make so much money. Compared to having to do things the, “Right way”. I am constantly around successful men for work, and they tell me to hustle and they respect it. It’s truly the reason why I intend to be single because I can’t stand having men control me. So, with the Law of Detachment. I do care anymore, because the more I let things sit and hurt me, it’ll hinder my growth. So, if it’s out of your control then, don’t worry about it. My friend Fuzzy (the reason why I didn’t commit suicide my first attempt in LA) told me in the end, I have myself so hustle hard, keep my clients and pave the way. I’ve never respected a man so much after that.Thank you, Fuz for saving my life. You had no idea. It was my second month in LA, and I nearly jumped. My fourth month in LA, well.. round 2. Maybe, I’ve learned the art of Detachment a bit too much. Just realize that when you’re scared to let go, it hurts the most. Your conscious mind will be appreciate and react differently when you accept and move on. This is your first step to becoming what I call, “Resilient”.When you realize pain is all in your mind. You will hold so much power over yourself. The mind is what everyone wants control over. Power is in masses, which includes influences. It is all tied together. Once you control your mind, you are no longer a slave to society. You begin to look past the distractions and superficial aspects of life. Tap into your mind and the Universal laws. For now, I wanted to introduce to you. THE LAW OF DETACHMENT

Without failure there is no growth. Life is a balance, of having to learn from failures to strategically plan for success.

Evolution starts with growth and creation.

Entropy: The disorder and destruction upon an entity.

What does that truly mean? Well, without failures you will never understand your deficiencies. As said in previous posts, a failure to plan is a plan for failure.

Without giving the effort for a chance, how would you know your strengths and weaknesses?

One of my worst qualities is that .. I am hard on myself. To the point where it could detrimentally harm my mental and physical health.

I can list examples:

I’ve lost everything due to impulsivity. Family, money, physical health and sanity. I tend to be a perfectionist and overtly obsessed with my goals. Superficial wise, I was greedy and impulsive. I had to learn after my heart attack that life will throw you back a few steps, and that is okay. I felt empty. At first, I could not bear it. There’s stages to acceptance.

You have to learn to detach. You cannot focus on what you cannot control. Focus on what you can control.

Take into consideration that I am speaking upon my own experiences. So, I am here to walk you step by step within the process of coping with failure.

1. You need to fail in order to grow.

2. You need to understand your deficiencies.

3. You need to write down a process. Step by step. (Which I will follow up with additional details as we proceed)

4. You need to write down a plan, with deadlines.

5. You need to reflect and take on mindfulness exercises. Your mind is truly the most important creation that we have compared to our other species. Control your mind, and you are no longer a salve to society.

You need to fail in order to grow. Your muscles need to tear to become larger. You constantly need to push yourself to learn challenging courses in order to obtain wisdom. Life will throw trials and tribulations your way. Trust me, within my early childhood. I’ve had the understanding of “life” compared to my peers. I did not grow up on love, but I grew up on survival. I had to learn the difference between equality and equity at age of six. Just know, if you’re reading this. Please keep pushing, everyone goes through failures in life, just some are at different impacts and forces. It’s all your mind. Let me train you through the next process.

I actually enjoy failure. Now, I know that I can prepare for

You need to understand your deficiencies.

Aside from emotions we need to take a step back to logically think about this. Efficiency is very key to life. Without taking the due diligence to understand our weaknesses we are blind to our opportunity to grow. Evolution is about growth, meaning that we constantly need to create. In order to create we need to understand the gaps, failures or what some call, “weaknesses”

What was your end goal?

What were your challenges?

What steps did you take?

How was the outcome?

How could I have prepared better?

Once you write down your challenges, write down the opposite.

That’s going to lead you to building your solutions. From building your solutions then you are going to break those down and two steps. How do you find your solutions? Those are the opposite of your challenges.

Then; I had mentors take an additional look at the situation from a third perspective. Make sure that your mentor is credible. Only speak upon a subject, only if you’re a subject matter expert. Meaning, you’ve gained enough experience and wisdom to learn from your own mistakes to teach. Life is about growth; evolution. The creation; and which that is you. Failures is a part of this game of life.

Take time and due diligence to do your research. People will fail due to lack of know knowledge. Failure will build wisdom. Time is taken into consideration that is essential.

Now, that we know our failures, potential solutions, and now we make a breakdown.

This is a reason that I prefer flow charts. I am able to visualize everything in front of me.

Once, you’ve had an overview from your previous plan. It’s time to curate a new one.

Think of the life cycle as a project. You are the product. Never be scared to start over, again. You’ve already failed, so now you know what to do for the second round. You’ve made connections, built a reputation (credibility) which you cannot buy (it’s earned) but it can also be lost. However, now, you know exactly how to navigate a situation but twice as better now. You’re slowing become an expert at your own subject. By obtaining wisdom due to experiences.

Creating a plan:

Flow charts, a list of objectives, and an agenda are your best friends.

The only thing that was useful in high school was creating an agenda which is applicable for all areas in life. Time blocking is essential.

List main objective

Main steps and details

Then, add the additional details

The small details to the main steps become your weekly objectives.

Weekly objectives become smaller steps.

You can see the big picture, but you also see the small details to get there. When you climb up the ladder fast. You will never understand the characteristics that it takes to climb up a ladder. You cannot buy tenacity, integrity, nor credibility. Credibility will take you such a long way. As always said, “We recognize our own”.

Last and final steps:

Mindfulness and reflect.

Ten minute meditation, reason being is that you need to keep your eyes on the prize. This is your game. You are own creation. You are own universe. Anything impossible, is possible. Let’s take into consideration of quantum physics and other dimensions. The Law of Polarity. With a plan, people will think you do it at ease. Everything, I mean everything should be ran strategically. Controlling your mind is controlling your emotions. Everything around us is truly a distraction. When people cannot get one up on you, that’s when they try to manipulate you. Silence is power at that point.

Reason being, when you clarify and repeat back what people are saying. & you take a moment of silence.

1. You realize yourself whether this is worth inputting your time into

2. You make them realize their own argument

3. It will help, building communication effectively especially in an argument by proving gaps and deficiencies in their argument that proves failure.

Silence is power, obnoxiousness is not.

When you speak; you speak upon a subject with intent. People should be able to take your words with value. If you give your word to do it, do it. If there is a delay, communicate it. Take accountability. Your credibility and reputation will be the reason why you’re able to continuously further yourself. This does not mean you cannot fail. It means that you need to take accountability and show people that you can improve yourself. That holds more value. Now, you’re able to teach, teaching makes an impact, which causes growth. Which the knowledge can be taught to someone else. (The Universal Law Divine Oneness) When we die, we don’t take anything with us, not even our failures. So, the best thing to do is to fail, to learn, to take accountability and to teach.

Conclusion:

Take into consideration of the Universal Laws and the correlation of quantum physics.

Dearly Beloved,

I never wanted to leave The Bay. I was bread crumbed and sex trafficked at a point in LA.

I never wanted to pivot this career route. I started out in corporate America in North Carolina. I managed The Bay from North Carolina and eventually I had to move.

Sadly, enough I had to move to Los Angeles. I left my corporate, my family, including my son and my side hustles along with my community. Due to a stalker, who wouldn’t leave me alone during that time there was an investigation going on, and I didn’t want to lead anyone to any harm so I had to leave and take the fall.

I met this man in Charlotte, North Carolina (after my split) we stopped talking, he ended up showing up to 1015 Folsom, which is where I did bottle service. This was after our breakup. There I had to decide to move to the Central Valley or to Los Angeles . He wouldn’t stop following me every place to the point where he got an apartment right above mine.

I had a heart attack at 27. I’m still 27. I’m writing this keep in mind that my brother is dying from Huntingtons Disease. My son is moving to the Philippines because of him and he is so upset with me that I had to leave and it’s hard for me to explain it, so this is my letter to you.

Being in a risky industry, where I tried to protect you from everything and everything. All of our videos I still have and I still watch everything that I’ve taught you from physics at the age of three to meditation numbers from reading flashcards all the videos I still have. I was forced to leave The Bay.

To my brother, I’m sorry I couldn’t spend your last days with you and I had to leave to Los Angeles. I never thought a man who was obsessed with me would ruin my life or try to ruin my life because I wouldn’t date him. (or give him the time of day)

So here’s my story my son, is probably going to see half of the things I’m doing on social media which I am sorry for. I had to learn to survive because I didn’t have everything that I did in The Bay.

Along, with that was protecting you from our family since they escaped genocide and they were nearly obliterated, and those that survived the bloodbath were truly traumatized on both sides.

I never thought a man would have so much fun toying around with somebody’s life and getting away with it. He’s gotten away with rape, pulling triggers before.. so at this point. I’m pretty understanding that this man will never ever be locked up. Please, understand that mom did not want to leave you. I never wanted to leave, if anything I was trying to spend more time with you when I got my heart attack I cut back from work. —- a realllly risky industry that I’m no longer in. I was supposed to be under on supervision because the heart attack was severe enough for me to die at a younger age.

Your dad told me that you hated me and that you’re really angry with me. You can definitely feel that way and I understand how you feel and I’ll take all of it. Just know that I am having to rebuild in a larger territory right now and having to start new. I’m learning how to understand all of this again. I wish I could tell you the full story but gang stalking is a real thing.

I ended up moving from Hayward to the middle of the Central Valley that was an hour and a half away from my corporate job. The commute always tiring.

https://anoniverse.com/how-to-deal-with-gang-stalking/

I had my cell phone hacked both of them. It’s mirrored. My screen.

The small cameras in Vents? Yeah, those too.

The apartments that surround me, yeah, that too. To keep track of me.

I had devices put into my car, to track and record. In the dash.

Security cameras, and ring cameras —- hacked.

Every place I went even, hotels.

The technology devices, yeah. I was under those too:

A man who didn’t think I was, “the real deal” because he didn’t have my tenacity. It took a group of men and one woman to take ME down? Insane.

I know the collaboration.

Dear son, I’ve never wanted to leave. I had to, or you’d be living in this hell. I had to protect you.

Anyone from The Bay reading this. Don’t trust Javier from Charlotte. I am protecting you with my words.

I went to Oakland. My friends were also dragged in on this. —- btw, one of my friends saved my ass by reporting to the police. There was left over proof. There was a paper trail. Still is. If I go missing: there’s a trail. Which, landed me here, in a new city. Triggers. I mean, triggers pointed. The girl telling him to pull it, constantly. I was fine with it, if he would’ve done it. Rather than conspiring a plan against me. He’s not allowed to in clubs in SF, nor events because one of my friends overheard him talking about me, and didn’t realize we were close. Thank you, Ant. No one wants a crazy stalker at their event that drove their friend to LA and to restart. Truly, a legend from The Bay.

I was in Atwater for three months and everybody from the bay was wondering where I went. They thought I nearly was under a rock. Javier, from clt. You are horrible

I eventually moved to Los Angeles in September but rebuilding is the hardest part. Just imagine your phone is your lifeline

Your family is what keeps your soul.

Your community and your friends are also who you protect and what you protect.

Impact is a real thing, and I was truly making a difference in an impact within my community and working along with my inner circles.

I never intended to do Only Fans. I never intended to do financial domination, etc., etc.

I am doing OF to survive because of this man ruining my life.

I was well respected because I kept my integrity. I was an Account Manager.

Once somebody cuts me off, I understand that as an adult we move on and that was fine with me.

I was also a bottle girl in the largest venue in San Francisco. I also would host events for charity car events because I was the highest rising in import model at that time from North Carolina. I did all that under two years and I ran my own territory.

I honestly did not know what I did wrong. I waited to my ex and I to break up. He unfollowed me on Instagram, so I blocked him on everything and his phone numbers both phone numbers. Even, the fake one he texted I would not date this man, because I smelled snitch from miles away. I am a person of my word. Javier, I will have to forgive you but I’ll never forget what you did to me. Especially, ruining my innocent son’s life. As if it wasn’t hard enough. His father is a great man, now. He didn’t need extra pressure. So, is Light’s step mom.

I don’t know where he is now truly but I do know that my life was definitely torn apart.

I sold my dream car and gave my money to family.

I came to LA with nearly nothing and my friends were supposed to move with me, but I ended up being here by myself.

I had to learn how to navigate Los Angeles where wolves really are

So I got into insurance sales, finishing up real estate, throwing my own rave events in LA. I’m learning how to run another territory that’s three times the size. I’m learning how to market in regard to Content creation and modeling.

For those in Onlyfans I eventually want to teach creators because Onlyfans can only last so long, but if you have a lot of money, then you can put into an asset and then if you train people the skills they can to sell to their subscribers

My life

Is very very treacherous, but one thing is I really want he gives 6% of my annual income one day to the impoverish meaning, that I want to create programs to steer people in the direction of becoming entrepreneur and learning skills so they can learn how to break generational curses I came from absolutely nothing.

Trust, I am nowhere I want to be in life, rn

However, I know when people are lying, gaslighting, and trying to control me. That’s why, I’m usually gone.

The crazy part is that you would never know that I have my bachelors in accounting. I worked my way up to 150 CPA credits, which is equivalent to a masters degree and I have a minor and pre-law and prior to that I was in the medical field I came from a family that gave a genocide, and I was raised by my older sister because my mom was absolutely abusive and she can no longer have us. I also cut my mom off at the age of 12 so my sister and I together when I was 13 and up had to learn to hustle.

I ran a territory at 26,

I paved up my way as a bottle girl import model. I also have got my community, but please forgive me my family for I wasn’t able to spend time with you. I did it all under two years and I had a heart attack after because I was only sleeping for three hours and I was pulling three all nighters. So yes, essentially you do need to sleep and less stress. It hasn’t even been a year since my heart attack by the way. & I had to start over in LA so you can only imagine the stress I was under.

So, I had to leave my family and everything behind, start from scratch deal with gang stalking, this is only one person there after and that’s me. I am the target. I want you all to know that Instagram is truly a façade. It is not a reality unless it’s truly used for portfolio and that you have credibility. Credibility is so important wherever you go because you never know when it’s going to save you, which is saved me.

The credibility from The Bay actually saved me in Los Angeles and truly for integrity, civility, moral values, loyalty, and respect. I am truly grateful for.

I learn to be grateful for God, even though I yell at God all the time

I am truly sad. I am writing this, but I know that all the trials and tribulations that I went through I’m going to utilize my wisdom to change the world for the better I’m going at this step-by-step.

Anyone in the adult industry or anything that’s in regard to nightlife and underground I feel like it’s OK to make fast money but it’s also important to think long-term and that’s why here to help you guys navigate throughout this blog within spirituality and how to build your own LLC.

I paved my way by being a nightlife prodigy. I learned to find deficiencies and businesses and gaps and challenges and find a solution for that. I just need a few more months to ramp up. My goal is to take my family on a jet  like I promised.

I will teach you the fundamentals of this blog. I’ll do it for free because it’s about the impact. This is not about numbers at this point if I were to die one day at least this will be your blueprint.

If you’re going to your future generations because when we die, we take no money with us and we take absolutely nothing and the rest is impact to other people and for their generations from there.

The men and one woman with him are not detectives. They are gang stalking me.

Here’s the additional

https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2025/01/18/us/sheng-thao-indictment-oakland

https://www.thefederalcriminalattorneys.com/federal-stalking

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7178134/

https://www.isdglobal.org/explainers/gangstalking-and-targeted-individuals/

https://patents.google.com/patent/US20200275874A1/en

https://www.ohchr.org/sites/default/files/Documents/Issues/Torture/Call/Individuals/Militarygrade.pdf

If you are going through gang stalking or stalking, it is very hard to get a restraining order. Just know, that it will get better throughout time and if you ever need support, I am here for you.

In this series, I talk about setting up your only fans and building your brand. As an import Model, I’ve already outgrown my threshold. Within my first year, I’ve been published from North Carolina, and I am one of the largest models in the import scene from the Bay Area.

I’ve learned how to curate events, climb up as a bottle girl, And ended up at one of the largest clubs in San Francisco. I said that I had worked with a new venue in San Jose.

Regardless, if you are a promoter or anybody that is starting out in nightlife, just know that your brand in business is your LLC.

Brand awareness of marketing is crucial just as much as a cell so this video touches based on my experiences, an upcoming import model from Charlotte North Carolina, who became a rising public figure in the bay that move to Los Angeles.

I’ve overcame poverty, abuse, Stalking bullying them anymore, so this is my testimonial to help those that are around me cultivate themselves to become better. May we all rise to resilience and become successful all in one, whatever you do, become an expert at it and obsessed. No matter where you go somebody that is an expert at their subject matter will always thrive in any circumstance and location that cannot be faked that unless that is truly genuine.

There’s so much to what truly meets the eye.

When your back is against the wall, that is where you will begin to see the most growth within yourself.

Learning to zone out and control your thoughts and emotions will steer a path of being undefeatable. If one cannot take you down, they will take a group to do it. Actions, and credibility speaks louder than words.

I have had a man spread rumors and defame me because I had ignored him. He ended up causing businesses to close from Northern California to Southern California. I left to protect The Bay. It makes sense, to point fingers at one, but the real culprit is the one who began to point the fingers, in the first place. Coward. You do not want to let that consume you, but you let it fuel you. I have been put into situations where I had to deal with isolation, and my family in detrimental situations. Being one of the first, in my family that came from a Genocide to hit my first six figures, purchase a home at 21, and start my own. I realized that you have to lose, to teach yourself that you can do it, again. If I can push through gang stalking, that is being controlled by some man from North Carolina that I ignored, then you can push through this to. It is all mental resilience.

https://www.cnn.com/2025/01/18/us/sheng-thao-indictment-oakland/index.html

Within the link provided, they are a good and generous family. Please do not let media fool you. Do things with the intent with the greater good of all.

My limits are children and people that are forced without consent to do things that they do not want to do.

Control your thoughts.

Children are innocent, and deserve a safe place, even the most men in power that I know, would still protect children. They are the future, and I strive that when I become successful one day. To build nonprofit organizations for children to learn the skills of entrepreneurship. It is mind, body, and soul. Just because you are the black sheep does not mean you are crazy. You are just meant to be the 1%, that breaks generational curses. Whichever, industry that you are in, always have a code of ethics, and good intent.

Your mind, that is truly what cultivates who you are.

Your mind controls your body, and your thoughts and actions control the purity of your soul.

Our brain is powerful, dive deeper into the understanding of breathing methods. Perceptions are a hologram of our thoughts, meaning that you create your own reality. Knowing too much is not a good thing when society tries to manipulate and control the masses, with superficial thing. Realize, that you have to be aligned to obtain superficial materials, and to ascend into heaven. Which is your state of consciousness. If you hear something enough, you will believe it. The way to control someone is to control their beliefs. Be resilient, like the chosen ones. I have been submerged with knowledge, to the point where I can teach it. I have to make it, because of my compelling story, that can help impact others. When you are ready, that is when divine timing will deliver. I had to realize that I have gained so much knowledge growing up and especially having a heart attack at 27. I am still 27.

I realized that I had the chance to see the afterlife and trust me. As The IT Girl of The Bay, I had to see past the cameras, lights, clubs, parties, after hours, drugs, alcohol, materials, supercars, shopping, and traveling’s. I realized that superficial material things, did not make me happy. I was still a sad girl, just with magazines publishing behind me. My Instagram, and hard copies.

What has these trials and tribulations taught me?

You cannot take superficial things with you.

Impact is truly important. Do things for the greater good.

Always move with the intent of knowing that you only have 24 hours a day to make an impact. Tomorrow is never guaranteed. Also, the afterlife, is about your subconscious, if you have not made amends, and you are afraid, your vibrations will be lowered. Your body is a vessel, life is about growth. When you’ve reached your purpose, that’s your time to go. When I died, I was afraid, and it hurt the most, until I came into acceptance.

Truly, fix your mind, and you will fix your body and soul. You will be in alignment. There are shortcuts to life, but not the afterlife, and that is true judgement. Once you’ve sold your soul to the devil or materialistic values, your afterlife will be a cold one. It will be bleak and black… I have never experienced hell, but this dimension is hell for me.

Nirvana is the state of peace. In your afterlife, because this life is only given for so long. That is truly, where you want to look back and emphasize the change you have made to the world. Life will always go on, so make sure the impact is a positive one.

Jesus is real, or whatever you believe in. One thing is to believe in yourself.

Angels are real, but so are demons.

There is so much to this universe than what meets the eye. The occult, quantum physics, frequencies, energy, universal laws, the brain telepathy, telekinesis etc

The government has done their studies, check the declassified documents.

There’s more than one dimension. Quantum physics prove it. However, if you are one, there is a lot that physics cannot prove. Control your mind, control your emotions, so that you are playing a game of chess. Control it all, because power is in the masses, hashtags and trending. Social dilemmas, and beliefs. It’s all rigged.

Study your universal laws, meditate, exercise, and pray.

Praying is a form of acceptance and affirmations within yourself. You are reprogramming your brain but do it with positive intent for the greater good of all.

Learn that pain, is part of growing. Always have a plan. Do not shoot random arrows, be strategic with your shots. You will attain accuracy and efficiency. Learn to pick the brains of others, for your cheat codes. Learn that everything is truly connect. Divine Oneness, everything has been written but you, entirely you. Control yourself. This is your game, your simulation, you are the product, make sure that you become an expert at whatever you do. Life is competition, but a friendly competition, meaning that, if you move fluidly … you will attract everything with a higher vibration. It is okay to suffer, just know, once you prevail, you become stronger. Those that have done you wrong. The law of karma will always, deliver. You cannot escape the matrix or universe, but you can control your own creative universe. Align with the frequency for the universe and tune in like a radio channel and find your purpose. Once you do, everything will fall into alignment.

There is more than one universe, galaxies, planets, and souls are a real thing.

As I woke up, I realized that tomorrow is not always granted. Make sure that everything that you do is truly with pure intentions. I wish I could have had more time with my family. However, in this life everything is controlled by the dollar, which is superficial.

The trials and tribulations were a path that I was given, to obtain knowledge to teach others to expand within their minds, and lead a generation of resilience, because this generation has technology as an upper hand, so resilience is a factor that was not learned by everyone. Resilience is one of the major keys to success. You can have everything you want if you are resilient.

Resiliency is truly a skill of intelligence that is cultivated over time.

I realized, as an entrepreneur, you will hit the lowest of the lows. However, even in life. Everything will be at your shoulders at a point, but I began to realize that everything truly occurs for a reason.

Apologies, lies, and deceitfulness will eventually show. Truly, it is who you are with the best intentions that will eventually shine out.

My journey to LA,

I got to experience human trafficking, defamation, even sleeping on the ground to avoid situations and betting on content creation for survival. Being alone, isolated from my friends, family and community. All I had was myself, my reputation and GOD. I would pray even when I did not want to pray. I dealt with gang stalking — indeed it is a real thing. I have dealt with an entire community slandering my name just for the same person that started the entire rumor, or smear campaign to apologize and ask for me back. I came to Los Angeles, to protect those in The Bay, because a man opened his mouth, and ruined opportunities for others to grow. This took time that I could not get back with my own family, I was taken away and not able to see anyone grow up, which honestly. I know that people think I move carelessly, but truly what it seems on social media is not the ideal and real deal. It is truly all in the mind, when people try to control your beliefs, that is when they yield the most power over you.

“I am sorry for everything” “I am proud of you because you became stronger” — Those were some of the last words from the man that ruined my life and to find out that he is married.

Truly, I lost everything and I mean everything.

Family, finances, and some even tried my reputation. Understand, there will always be people that don’t like you but genuinely move with a good heart, and everything good will eventually show.

I had girls in my past from high school, ten years later try to smear my name as well, because I was the one out of Modesto High School that became an import model. Everything accomplished is truly hard work, tears and dedication to exactly where I needed to pivot to.

No one saw my accounts being locked and frozen, the nights I went through being touched when I did not want to, the times I had to zone out and have sex when I felt as if I was dying on the inside, amongst that gang stalking — which consisted of daily harassment from people that did not know me. I had people in high school, still… bring me up as if I would remember them, I apologize. I do not remember majority of anyone from ten years later. I humbly mean that

When I am conveying a story of dealing with homelessness to SELF-MADE. The stories behind doors, were the darkest of my life. I never saw myself having to fall deep into the industry, I was trying to get out. However, I was deep into it.

It was my friends and God that saved me and I would never turn my back on them. I have learned so much, and realized my purpose in life.

Yeah, I walk through the darkest valleys of hell, but I shall still shine the light within because with thy rod and thy staff, I shall endure and overcome any obstacles. For God is truly within her, she shall not fail. Psalms 23 and 46

Dealing with poverty, an abusive home, Ophaned _ foster care and adoption — even a ten year abusive relationship from 16- on (He’s not like that anymore)

Age 1-3 Abuse from baby sitters: I was forced to eat dog food at a point by my baby sitters – and molested — even seeing someone shot in front of me at age 3– when youre abused so young, I had no idea but the world is a cold world — This will lead into my pyrokinesis and clairvoyance

Age 5-7: Foster care, and I was adopted into a Christian family at age 5, I began to go to church, and I was officially baptized at age 7. Learned about God and faith. Transitioned from Buddhism to Christianity. I learned spirituality so young due to all the death in Buddhism. At this age, I was dealing with a broken home, poverty, and sexual abuse. — The best way for my mind to mentally take all of this in, young was books education and music. I did something called dissociation – which is a form of meditation – evening paranormal activity was around me all the time, but I would pray to angels and see shadows – God is a force that told me to keep going. Even during the blizzards in Wichita Ks, not electricity, no water, no food, just an empty foreclosed home with candles and my books.

Church and being adopted saved me, even if it was not full time of being with them. Humanity for the first time, was beautiful and it was church — which leads to my faith now.

I always fought with my mom; shortest temper alive. I had to cut her off at age 12. My grandma was the evilest person alive. She tried to starve my sister, but I told her. I will starve with my sister, I will not eat, unless my sister ate. I learn to sell chips at a young age so my sister and I could go to Quick trip and get us food. I understand why my sister was gone, and she left to save herself majority of the time. I used to actually hate a lot of it, but I realized that all I had was m. Hatred was real because I was always protecting my older sister from all of the Cambodians – (They were really abusive and gossiped a lot). There was a ton of Child predators in the Cambodian community. That is why, I never came back to plane view. I never, and I mean never, wanted to be around everything because I enjoyed my church family. That was beauty.

I did have one babysitter, at age 4 before. Ming (Auntie) Thea. She had cats, and I resonated with animals, and books at that point. I never was really able to around her, but she was the first light and beauty I have seen growing up in the Cambodian culture — I eventually steered myself from my own Ethnic background.

Age: 7-11 Part time church family, poverty and an abusive mom.

At this age, I did not know how, I was going to get food unless, I was going to church. Which fortunately, saved me. I was going without warm water, and it was difficult, but I learned to become more advance in school at this point. I did not start speaking until the age of 7, I couldn’t read well until my older started teaching me how to read and algebra at age 8 because she was doing homework, and I was holding our candle during our electric outage, the electricity never came back — so we just had candles, and God. I began to advance in school, went to ESOL to Advance courses and top proficiency in elementary and — accepted into a Computer Science Magnet school — but I never really got to go

Age 11-12:

Moved to Central Valley: Mom was in California with our family

Biggest mistake of life

We thought she changed but never changed. Then genocide really took a huge impact, on my family. My aunt, was 26 and trying to take care of a family but she also cheated on her husband and got us into the mix of it. He was sneaking through our windows while her husband was gone, and her father was taking care of her two kids in the same house, eventually. He dropped a condom, and her husband found it and she tried to blame it on us. She gossiped a lot, and looked down on a lot, and it was just ugly. I realized why no one liked her, and she was diagnosed with Thyroid cancer once we left. I cut off my mom at age 12-13. We moved out when I was 13, and realized it is only my sister and I that saw through the wool that is pulled over people’s eyes.

Age 13-16: Homeless again, and hustling.

This time – my sister and I against the world. She decided to go through pharmacy tech school and pulled all the strings. I studied my ass off, but I was being bullied really bad. I really played it off well, but school and music was my outlet. Karie, I love you so much. I always to promise to make it. Even, if we are not close now. I promised you, I would do great at anything I do.

Age 15-17: Hired, I was able to work. I did, and I did nurse training while I was figuring high school out. I was bullied really bad to the point where I was going to drop out. I figured my own transportation and would miss a lot of school. I even tried to get a diagnosis for schizophrenia to get out of high school. I literally was acting crazy for a damn diagnosis, but they realized that I didn’t have it. I had to independent study, but I did find out that I had benign cancers tumors in my nose, and I took so much medicine, Ammox, Testrone, Allergy medicines, and CT tests like no tomorrow. I dealt with an entire community gossiping about my fake boobs, and fake sluttiness — from two Asian girls who didn’t like me — Thank you, Angel Velasquez who was my best friend but rejected another girl that eventually made rumors about. I apologize for friend zoning you.

Anway’s, my sister eventually PTCB test for pharmacy tech! We secured our apartment + new car. I moved to Beyer High School. Best and worse decision, ever.

I was a virgin until 16, but I also entered an abusive relationship with an Insta famous guy — & I was too when we were teenagers (He’s became a better person, esp after our split) I went through so much. I mean, so much. Cheating, his anger, and I even helped him pass high school when his mom wasnt there for him, and it was hell. I mean hell, but it was my first love. He went to the military —

Age 18: I worked ———-

—-

Age 19- 25.5

A lot and paid for our wedding in dollar bills. 19 Big ballers, and I would only sleep 3 hours. I am so proud of him; I promised him too always do better. Perfectly, imperfect. Abuse got him out of the military. We both learned a lot. I eventually graduated with my first degree – to pursue medical but I could not stand blood — due to the trauma from age 3.

He left to Cuba, and it was just.. me and my Light, but my post trauma made it hard to keep going, especially being forced to have — grow up so quick — pain from body and abuse —

I got to watch him party and have fun while I was crying and having to pull strings, and hold down the fort. I learned a lot. My family, and therapist told me that with the severity of my abuse for near ten years, I had to heal myself because this is not something you can get over. I still have tremors till this day.

PTSD.

If you worked with me, I zone out a lot.

In regards to my family, I would like to keep that within us, it was bad and better for us to split, especially in the risky I was in. Affiliated in. I have a ton of explaining to do, but I did a lot to protect my own, and if that was to keep family away. So be, it. I tried to make the best memories when I had the chance but see… my work and reputation saved me in Los Angeles. When everything eventually fell.

Graduated top honors with Light & working

Secured Corporate job in Charlotte – moved from small SDR – to Territory Account Manager

Age 25.5 – on

Under two years, I ran The Bay.

I became an import model, held my BS in Accounting, 150 credits for the CPA (there’s more details to add but damn, it is going to be a book)

Pre-law

I worked corporate, juggled night life, modeling, after participations & family

Three hours of sleep, again. Trying to make the dream, ANY way I could.

I was close, very close.

I went through rape and getting roofied, but I learned a lot about industry, and I ending up climbing up quick. Small bottle girl at Arena, to Managing Events and Promo, scaling to Lead bottle girl —

—-

Other Obligations

—-

1015 Folsom * the biggest club in SF ***

2/21/2024 —

** Heart Attack**

Supervision needed and forced to slow down. My Instagram is a portfolio of my work. My reuptation that saved me in Los Angeles, is the key to my success.

4/12/2024

I had it all taken away from me.

All of it, someone had ratted out businesses, and operations. My name was tied to it. I was trying to work hard, and save for the next generations. I worked so, the proof is in pudding and even my own reputation.

I warned everyone. I left after the under cops talked to me. I did it, to save my community. To keep, Light out of it. To keep my sister out of it. TO Help everyone else’s business, because they are all just trying to survive in The Bay.

I sold my son’s dream car, and moved to Los Angeles

Businesses began to get raided. Oakland Mayor got a Rico.

I went through being homeless, and I went through not being financially able to make it. I was depleted, and the sad part is,

Once I moved to Los Angeles, a man from Charlotte that I once hooked up with that caught feelings for me during my split. Ended up, putting a smear campaign on my name, is the handler for my gang stalking, and when I was down, he really kicked me down.

I had to prove my own, in K-town. I began to work up in k-town — which saved my life with small money. I jumped into Onlyfans to save my life — saved up enough — I left my situation —

I eventually started my own business, hired for businesses, and then, my onlyfans became my business. I learn to scale as a model, and as someone that had nothing but content creation.

ONLYFANS TV & Signed contract: THE BIGGEST CONTRACT OF MY LIFE

MY FAMILY, COMMUNITY & FRIENDS BUT MY FAMILY WILL NEVER HAVE TO WORK AGAIN (If I can pull this off)

I did for my FAMILY and for THE BAY

I tried to commit my first two months in Los Angeles 11/02/2024

4:00PM on the Vincent Bridge. I could not stand being away from my family.

Pyrokinesis, and Clairvoyance:

Do you remember the candles from my childhood during the blizzards and the electricity being out? I would pray with my candles — this is a form of a seance. I never felt normal

I do pyrokinesis, and fire breathing —

I might have my own series —

It’s crazy how God works,

OFTV is not about nudity –

I am able to teach telekinesis, spiritual awareness and esoteric knowledge — everything on my blog into a miniseries

— I am looking into Vixen after

I am grateful, for everything. I am grateful for the trials and tribulations — to be able to teach and make an impact on lives through teaching spirituality

AI will eventually replace everything but not your soul or conscious

I am not just an “Asian Baddie” I am so much more than what meets the eye. I am truly the written tribulation to prove that is God is real and within.

If you ever think, you can’t make it. You can.

Life has been crazy. I had to hustle in high school, I never lived a normal life, because you all got to go home to your family, but I never had a home. That is why, I am humbly who I am

Sometimes, all it takes is for one to change in your life to take a leap of faith. Everything that you do in life. You’re taking a bet. Always do everything with a purpose behind it. I’m learning to genuinely cherish relationships, coming from the chaos that I am used to. Also, choose your friends and family wisely. Blood is not thicker than water. It’s the convenant some shit my sister said. Then gets all chemist on it lol. Love you, sis. Anyways, it means because someone is your family. It doesn’t mean you have to choose them as family. I feel alone majority of the time or that I’m constantly failing. I am realizing that I need to fix so much about myself. I’m thankful to have people around me that can take me out of that zone. Sometimes, it takes to remove yourself out of a situation and having people give you input. It really took me three days to take a leap, I wrote out every positive and negative. Look at situations from a third person perspective.

Also, ask yourself. If you had a child, what would you advise for them? What future do you want for them? If you had a daughter, would you want her to have the same past as you?

Honestly, I’ve thought about this a lot growing up with the type of mother that I did. I learned to keep my body to myself. I don’t have an OF, where I can easily make money. I’ve tried sugar dating like three times, and I just can’t. I don’t want people I don’t like to touch me. I can’t text people I don’t care about. It’s tough, and I do look up to my friends that do it. The Rizz is insane! They’re also much smarter than I am. I am the geeky, goofy, cupcake in the group. Despite, my one year I’ve messed up.

However, sales taught me to be charismatic, and how to understand people.. in a business setting.

I choose myself, family and success.

My career is tough due to delayed gratification. You have no idea. So, learning to be thankful for the simple things in life, you’ll begin to be grateful for the rest that God has to unravel. You can’t replace or buy good friends and family. That’s why I feel immense guilt when I’m out, or working. I just want to be with my family. I have to work hard for everything.

I’m learning that,

It is okay to be a princess and have people take care of you. I really do love being spoiled, because I’ve truly deserved to be adored, and treated well for once. Keep working, and manifesting your dreams until they come true. A lot of women that have encountered what I’ve been been through. We find it hard to think that people genuinely adore or love us. I’m so used to having my guard up, but you’ll find the right person that’ll ask you, if you need anything. Let’s you make decisions of what you want. Takes you out, shows you off, pushes your success and will explore the world with you.

I wish I would’ve realized this so much earlier. I’ve held myself back, and now I realize to just let go of everything that does not belong to me, or no longer serves me purpose. I’ve had a rocky past but for-sure, you’re not going to meet most that have gone through the hell that I did, and still manage to be here, to help others. I truly, feel that I’m here to help heal.. however, I need to heal myself as well in this journey.

Maturing is life is keeping things private, really indulging in life, working hard and providing a future for your family.

No more drugs, insane nightlife, gangsters, and toxic/impulsive behaviors

More of living, presence, solutions, flights, experiences, good food, priorities and family.

I’m learning proper communication, empathy and moving with purpose

I’ve learned delayed gratification, so people can think I’m lying but in the end. I show what I want to show.. and it takes a bit but they’ll figure it out. Other people’s opinion doesn’t matter. You’ll be successful, when you realize that.

When I tell you, my life is going to change. It feels like a dream. Remember, to pray at your highest and lowest moments. I keep pictures, look at videos of my motivations to keep myself going. Don’t worry about the noise, keep going and everything that’s meant for you will stay, or fall right into your lap.

In this series, I talk about setting up your Onlyfans and building your brand. As an import Model, I’ve already outgrown my threshold. Within my first year, I’ve been published from North Carolina, and I am one of the largest models in the import scene from the Bay Area.

I’ve learned how to curate events, climb up as a bottle girl, And ended up at one of the largest clubs in San Francisco. I said that I had worked with a new venue in San Jose.

Regardless, if you are a promoter or anybody that is starting out in nightlife, just know that your brand in business is your LLC.

Brand awareness of marketing is crucial just as much as a cell so this video touches based on my experiences, an upcoming import model from Charlotte North Carolina, who became a rising public figure in the bay that move to Los Angeles.

I’ve overcame poverty, abuse, Stalking bullying them anymore so this is my testimonial to help those that are around me cultivate themselves to become better. May we all rise to resilience and become successful all in one. Whatever you do, become an expert at it and obsessed. No matter where you go somebody that is an expert at their subject matter will always thrive in any circumstance and location that cannot be faked that unless that is truly genuine.

Resiliency is truly a skill of intelligence that is cultivated over time.

I realized, as an entrepreneur, you will hit the lowest of the lows. However, even in life. Everything will be at your shoulders at a point, but I began to realize that everything truly occurs for a reason.

Apologies, lies, and deceitfulness will eventually show. Truly, it is who you are with the best intentions that will eventually shine out.

My journey to LA,

I got to experience human trafficking, defamation, even sleeping on the ground to avoid situations and betting on content creation for survival. Being alone, isolated from my friends, family and community. All I had was myself, my reputation and GOD. I would pray even when I did not want to pray. I dealt with gang stalking — indeed it is a real thing. I have dealt with an entire community slandering my name just for the same person that started the entire rumor, or smear campaign to apologize and ask for me back. I came to Los Angeles, to protect those in The Bay, because a man opened his mouth, and ruined opportunities for others to grow. This took time that I could not get back with my own family, I was taken away and not able to see anyone grow up, which honestly. I know that people think I move carelessly, but truly what it seems on social media is not the ideal and real deal. It is truly all in the mind, when people try to control your beliefs, that is when they yield the most power over you.

“I am sorry for everything” “I am proud of you because you became stronger” — Those were some of the last words from the man that ruined my life and to find out that he is married.

Truly, I lost everything and I mean everything.

Family, finances, and some even tried my reputation. Understand, there will always be people that don’t like you but genuinely move with a good heart, and everything good will eventually show.

I had girls in my past from high school, ten years later try to smear my name as well, because I was the one out of Modesto High School that became an import model. Everything accomplished is truly hard work, tears and dedication to exactly where I needed to pivot to.

No one saw my accounts being locked and frozen, the nights I went through being touched when I did not want to, the times I had to zone out and have sex when I felt as if I was dying on the inside, amongst that gang stalking — which consisted of daily harassment from people that did not know me. I had people in high school, still… bring me up as if I would remember them, I apologize. I do not remember majority of anyone from ten years later. I humbly mean that

When I am conveying a story of dealing with homelessness to SELF-MADE. The stories behind doors, were the darkest of my life. I never saw myself having to fall deep into the industry, I was trying to get out. However, I was deep into it.

It was my friends and God that saved me, and I would never turn my back on them. I have learned so much and realized my purpose in life.

Yeah, I walk through the darkest valleys of hell, but I shall still shine the light within because with thy rod and thy staff, I shall endure and overcome any obstacles. For God is truly within her, she shall not fail. Psalms 23 and 46

Dealing with poverty, an abusive home, Orphaned _ foster care and adoption — even a ten-year abusive relationship from 16- on (He’s not like that anymore)

Age 1-3 Abuse from babysitters: I was forced to eat dog food at a point by my babysitters – and molested — even seeing someone shot in front of me at age 3– when you’re abused so young, I had no idea, but the world is a cold world — This will lead into my pyrokinesis and clairvoyance

Age 5-7: Foster care, and I was adopted into a Christian family at age 5, I began to go to church, and I was officially baptized at age 7. Learned about God and faith. Transitioned from Buddhism to Christianity. I learned spirituality so young due to all the death in Buddhism. At this age, I was dealing with a broken home, poverty, and sexual abuse. — The best way for my mind to mentally take all of this in, young was books education and music. I did something called dissociation – which is a form of meditation – evening paranormal activity was around me all the time, but I would pray to angels and see shadows – God is a force that told me to keep going. Even during the blizzards in Wichita Ks, not electricity, no water, no food, just an empty foreclosed home with candles and my books.

Church and being adopted saved me, even if it was not full time of being with them. Humanity for the first time, was beautiful and it was church — which leads to my faith now.

I always fought with my mom; shortest temper alive. I had to cut her off at age 12. My grandma was the evilest person alive. She tried to starve my sister, but I told her. I will starve with my sister, I will not eat, unless my sister ate. I learn to sell chips at a young age so my sister and I could go to Quick trip and get us food. I understand why my sister was gone, and she left to save herself majority of the time. I used to actually hate a lot of it, but I realized that all I had was m. Hatred was real because I was always protecting my older sister from all of the Cambodians – (They were really abusive and gossiped a lot). There was a ton of Child predators in the Cambodian community. That is why, I never came back to plane view. I never, and I mean never, wanted to be around everything because I enjoyed my church family. That was beauty.

I did have one babysitter, at age 4 before. Ming (Auntie) Thea. She had cats, and I resonated with animals, and books at that point. I never was really able to around her, but she was the first light and beauty I have seen growing up in the Cambodian culture — I eventually steered myself from my own Ethnic background.

Age: 7-11 Part time church family, poverty and an abusive mom.

At this age, I did not know how, I was going to get food unless, I was going to church. Which fortunately, saved me. I was going without warm water, and it was difficult, but I learned to become more advance in school at this point. I did not start speaking until the age of 7, I couldn’t read well until my older started teaching me how to read and algebra at age 8 because she was doing homework, and I was holding our candle during our electric outage, the electricity never came back — so we just had candles, and God. I began to advance in school, went to ESOL to Advance courses and top proficiency in elementary and — accepted into a Computer Science Magnet school — but I never really got to go

Age 11-12:

Moved to Central Valley: Mom was in California with our family

Biggest mistake of life

We thought she changed but never changed. Then genocide really took a huge impact, on my family. My aunt, was 26 and trying to take care of a family but she also cheated on her husband and got us into the mix of it. He was sneaking through our windows while her husband was gone, and her father was taking care of her two kids in the same house, eventually. He dropped a condom, and her husband found it and she tried to blame it on us. She gossiped a lot, and looked down on a lot, and it was just ugly. I realized why no one liked her, and she was diagnosed with Thyroid cancer once we left. I cut off my mom at age 12-13. We moved out when I was 13, and realized it is only my sister and I that saw through the wool that is pulled over people’s eyes.

Age 13-16: Homeless again, and hustling.

This time – my sister and I against the world. She decided to go through pharmacy tech school and pulled all the strings. I studied my ass off, but I was being bullied really bad. I really played it off well, but school and music was my outlet. Karie, I love you so much. I always to promise to make it. Even, if we are not close now. I promised you, I would do great at anything I do.

Age 15-17: Hired, I was able to work. I did, and I did nurse training while I was figuring high school out. I was bullied really bad to the point where I was going to drop out. I figured my own transportation and would miss a lot of school. I even tried to get a diagnosis for schizophrenia to get out of high school. I literally was acting crazy for a damn diagnosis, but they realized that I didn’t have it. I had to independent study, but I did find out that I had benign cancers tumors in my nose, and I took so much medicine, Ammox, Testrone, Allergy medicines, and CT tests like no tomorrow. I dealt with an entire community gossiping about my fake boobs, and fake sluttiness — from two Asian girls who didn’t like me — Thank you, Angel Velasquez who was my best friend but rejected another girl that eventually made rumors about. I apologize for friend zoning you.

Anway’s, my sister eventually PTCB test for pharmacy tech! We secured our apartment + new car. I moved to Beyer High School. Best and worse decision, ever.

I was a virgin until 16, but I also entered an abusive relationship with an Insta famous guy — & I was too when we were teenagers (He’s became a better person, esp after our split) I went through so much. I mean, so much. Cheating, his anger, and I even helped him pass high school when his mom wasnt there for him, and it was hell. I mean hell, but it was my first love. He went to the military —

Age 18: I worked ———-

—-

Age 19- 25.5

A lot and paid for our wedding in dollar bills. 19 Big ballers, and I would only sleep 3 hours. I am so proud of him; I promised him too always do better. Perfectly, imperfect. Abuse got him out of the military. We both learned a lot. I eventually graduated with my first degree – to pursue medical but I could not stand blood — due to the trauma from age 3.

He left to Cuba, and it was just.. me and my Light, but my post trauma made it hard to keep going, especially being forced to have — grow up so quick — pain from body and abuse —

I got to watch him party and have fun while I was crying and having to pull strings, and hold down the fort. I learned a lot. My family, and therapist told me that with the severity of my abuse for near ten years, I had to heal myself because this is not something you can get over. I still have tremors till this day.

PTSD.

If you worked with me, I zone out a lot.

In regards to my family, I would like to keep that within us, it was bad and better for us to split, especially in the risky I was in. Affiliated in. I have a ton of explaining to do, but I did a lot to protect my own, and if that was to keep family away. So be, it. I tried to make the best memories when I had the chance but see… my work and reputation saved me in Los Angeles. When everything eventually fell.

Graduated top honors with Light & working

Secured Corporate job in Charlotte – moved from small SDR – to Territory Account Manager

Age 25.5 – on

Under two years, I ran The Bay.

I became an import model, held my BS in Accounting, 150 credits for the CPA (there’s more details to add but damn, it is going to be a book)

Pre-law

I worked corporate, juggled night life, modeling, after participations & family

Three hours of sleep, again. Trying to make the dream, ANY way I could.

I was close, very close.

I went through rape and getting roofied, but I learned a lot about industry, and I ending up climbing up quick. Small bottle girl at Arena, to Managing Events and Promo, scaling to Lead bottle girl —

—-

Other Obligations

—-

1015 Folsom * the biggest club in SF ***

2/21/2024 —

** Heart Attack**

Supervision needed and forced to slow down. My Instagram is a portfolio of my work. My reuptation that saved me in Los Angeles, is the key to my success.

4/12/2024

I had it all taken away from me.

All of it, someone had ratted out businesses, and operations. My name was tied to it. I was trying to work hard, and save for the next generations. I worked so, the proof is in pudding and even my own reputation.

I warned everyone. I left after the under cops talked to me. I did it, to save my community. To keep, Light out of it. To keep my sister out of it. TO Help everyone else’s business, because they are all just trying to survive in The Bay.

I sold my son’s dream car, and moved to Los Angeles

Businesses began to get raided. Oakland Mayor got a Rico.

I went through being homeless, and I went through not being financially able to make it. I was depleted, and the sad part is,

Once I moved to Los Angeles, a man from Charlotte that I once hooked up with that caught feelings for me during my split. Ended up, putting a smear campaign on my name, is the handler for my gang stalking, and when I was down, he really kicked me down.

I had to prove my own, in K-town. I began to work up in k-town — which saved my life with small money. I jumped into Onlyfans to save my life — saved up enough — I left my situation —

I eventually started my own business, hired for businesses, and then, my onlyfans became my business. I learn to scale as a model, and as someone that had nothing but content creation.

ONLYFANS TV & Signed contract: THE BIGGEST CONTRACT OF MY LIFE

MY FAMILY, COMMUNITY & FRIENDS BUT MY FAMILY WILL NEVER HAVE TO WORK AGAIN (If I can pull this off)

I did for my FAMILY and for THE BAY

I tried to commit my first two months in Los Angeles 11/02/2024

7/11/2025

Yes, I have a career on OFTV, I found the solution for Psychological Warfare, Teaching consciousness, and even survived my own Death Valley of gang stalkers.

4:00PM on the Vincent Bridge. I could not stand being away from my family.

Pyrokinesis, and Clairvoyance:

Do you remember the candles from my childhood during the blizzards and the electricity being out? I would pray with my candles — this is a form of a seance. I never felt normal

I do pyrokinesis, and fire breathing —

I might have my own series —

It’s crazy how God works,

OFTV is not about nudity –

I am able to teach telekinesis, spiritual awareness and esoteric knowledge — everything on my blog into a miniseries

— I am looking into Vixen after

I am grateful, for everything. I am grateful for the trials and tribulations — to be able to teach and make an impact on lives through teaching spirituality

AI will eventually replace everything but not your soul or conscious

I am not just an “Asian Baddie” I am so much more than what meets the eye. I am truly the written tribulation to prove that is God is real and within.

If you ever think, you can’t make it. You can.

Life has been crazy. I had to hustle in high school, I never lived a normal life, because you all got to go home to your family, but I never had a home. That is why, I am humbly who I am

ONLYFANS TV & YOUTUBE

I am taking the biggest bet in my life by jumping the gun. There is so much risk in life but if you live in constant stagnancy will you really grow?

6,400$ put into my marketing.

I have only been on Onlyfans for 4 months, today is my fourth month monthaversary. I have dealt with so much, in regard to defamation, slander, for people to find out that yes, I am the real deal.

I know that the story can seem very farfetch but, yes. I am Kim from The Bay, Kim with the Famous Ass, Kim one of the BIGGEST Industry women in The Bay. Which, now led me to Los Angeles, I wouldn’t have been able to make it in The Bay without solid friends and a good relationship. I moved up so quick within my industry because of the constant hard work that I would put into honing my craft. You can’t make Kim, a celebrity because she is already one. Yes, I am known in The Bay, and my reputation followed me here. I am Kim.

Yes, her.

So, as we know,

I am now working with Onlyfans TV.

Prior to that, I was dealing with people trying to tell me how to make my money which caused me to become very broke. I will never allow a man to dictate how I make my money. I cannot deal with men that gaslight, I will leave and hustle until I can leave.

Smart girl.

Next,

It is sad, because I am on the risk right now, of flying into Las Vegas to shoot content and praying that marketing and production will have my back… What if it does not work out? & I lost 6.4k that I have made? I literally scarified everything, and I mean, everything in life to make it. It is a make it or break it for me, but for me to have this opportunity to work with the production that I have the chance to work with is one in a million.

I advanced into my abilities, and happiness with my friends and likemindness, if I win, they win, we all win for the greater good of all.

I slept on the floor, at times even pushed myself beyond my own limits, and tried to do everything I could for the greater good of all, one thing is that when or if I make it, I will always promise to help others out. I sacrificed myself, even being judged to make it. I did it to make it, and when you want something, you will do what it takes. That right there, is honorable to me. It takes value to know value. It takes a real entrepreneur to know one. Investors are great but those that are the creators, that built themselves from nothing, have all the tenacity and character, because we have a reputation to keep. Especially, if it is our business model. I was blessed to have chosen God, the entire time. Hopefully, my story can be a tribulation into how one can succeed with full resilience and tenacity. I made it while I was being gang stalked, and I had to prove myself. When you are gang stalked you have a handler and people that are assigned to watch you, and I can promise they are not nice, at all. Javier will never leave me alone, even if he is married, he will always want to keep up with me. Sadly.

I think the only way to end it. there’s no way, cause marriage couldn’t stop this man’s obsession, or a child. If there is money, and employees, good pay, they will do it for a lifetime. So, what do I do? Live a happy life, eventually get married again, and take care of my family, and adopt in the new family. Built chosen ones, and new ones. & follow up with church, when or if that day comes, as heartless as I sound, I will eventually get married again and live a happy settled life. A man couldn’t keep him away. I don’t know what else to do but scale my business, first. Take care of my family, community and well.. settle.. if I do. Just to keep him away, he has to be one powerful rare man, that follows God. — **Pivot**

Even my handler’s wife – which I don’t understand why her husband is stalking me, and why she is obsessed with me. Psychological warfare is a real thing, and I can promise that if someone can influence the way that you think and your thoughts enough, you will begin to believe it. Even at the lows of the lowest, keep your faith because there is always the light at the end of the day that will prevail. I am the light, but so are you. It is all spirituality and within. My flight is early morning, and I shoot right after that, then I head into clubs to either work or audition to figure the rest out. I have to promise myself that this will work, it will. Hopefully, prayers. Pyrokinesis, Clairvoyance, — Telekinesis,

Yes, it is real. So, indeed is spirituality.

Kundalini awakening, and there are people that can do these things,

That right there,

Kim Tha Import model, biggest industry girl in The Bay, is indeed. A pyrokinetic & clairvoyant.

https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP96-00788R001700210016-5.pdf

https://www.monroeinstitute.org/

This is me, and it is crazy because I always thought this was normal.

I am treading right now, in regard to how much I am losing and whether this is risky or not. I do not have to prove anything to anyone but myself, so my contract has indeed, been signed.

I am now, one my last praying that I make it, through.

All or nothing,

People will tell me that I need to get a real job, I have my name investigated and currently some situations, that made me unable to work a normal job. SO, this is my only route.

Content creation.

I will indeed, promise to use the money to take care of my family, and then circle back to my community.

Teach entrepreneurship to young adolescents or anyone seeking within spiritually

To make an impact and break generational poverty.

My life has been a journey of walking through hell, but I found the beauty in darkness. No matter what, walk with God, and yourself because that is all that you have in the end.

Everything should be put into investments, and from there, the people that I will mentor will become my investments. They will learn moral values, commadore, Integrity, reputation, resilience and strategy.

To sit at a table shall be earned but to find the qualities in one, is by their actions and moral values.

Instilled,

I am nervous, and my flight is in a few hours.

Thank you for being here on my OF journey.

I look forward to the rest, and if this doesn’t work out, it is okay too.

It just means I am out of 6.4k

Striving for perfection is a long stride

Having to realize that your craft is truly yours to own. Out work everyone, and having a plan will lead you to success.

I think that it’s easy to find yourself lost in a rut, with the questions of, “what’s the next step”?

Ps: I’m in Waikiki right now for business

Taking a step back and having to strategize rather than move with impulsivity. Feeding off of emotions can be a skill that’s highly used as a closer. Once people begin to feel a certain way, that’s when you’ve grabbed them. I think losing desire and having no fear is a huge indication of burn out or depression. It’s all in the mind.

Everything is all in the mind, and being able to control your mind, and understand that the information that is fed to us is truly to strap society to what we call, “norms”.

However how fun in life is it to be normal?

Do you want to live a normal life? Like I mean, over 70 years into what we call a 9-5:00pm? However; regardless of people’s decisions in life we all go through a rut or a place where we are falling off and losing the grip: losing grip on reality or even a sense of ourselves.

Resilience is a key component which is a type of intelligence. It’s gained through experiences and wisdom. In order to teach wisdom one has to go through the experiences and teach it. Where does this even pivot to? This pivots into changing how you think and see everything in a perspective to attracting what you want. The Law of Attraction.

You have to switch the way that you think.

It’s so easy to complain about evening but in hindsight we should be grateful for the conflicts in life.

Feeling the pain, you can let it defeat you, and you let everyone else around you think they’re correct or you… with your will. Stand up, and figure it out.

How do you figure it out? Trust me, coming from someone who had to unfuck herself out of situations.

I realized a ton for my entrepreneurial journey.

One:

There should be faith in something above. Manifestation is real but without the law of action you will not get anywhere

Two:

Journal everything down, and I mean start writing. I fumbled when I stopped because I need to be able to visualize where I am headed and reminded of certain goals and tasks. write down where you are stuck, how you feel, and I mean everything.

Three:

Read it.

Take a look at what you wrote and take out the emotional portion.

Write a line through it.

Treat your life like a business because you are own brand.

Take out the challenges that you are having

Four:

Write down the opposite for your challenges. This will be in written in a flow chart manner.

Break it down into lists, and follow up

Five:

Find someone that is at the level where you want to be and take notes on exactly how they won. They have the cheat sheets to your industry. & one thing about people who are successful 95% of the time; they will teach you where they went wrong, so that you don’t make the same mistake: the idea of greater good of all, falls into place when you are truly doing things with good intent.

So, it’s 80% strategy

20% execution

You can work hard all you want but if you’re working smart and hard, your efficiency of energy that is being utilized is helping you strive through less obstacles and great networking.

Building a business is truly on yourself. Even if there is not a short term gain; there can be a long term gain.

In sales, high won’t always be able to make a close your first meeting. The meeting is an introduction, which we are taking our clients out to eat etc.. building those interpersonal connections. Then; once that has occurred you can find out about certain projects etc

Right?

Everything takes time and yes

Fast money is great but be able to think rationally when it pertains to your business

Just remember that your reputation, is the key essential to your thriving. So, keep a clean head on your shoulder. When you’re down, write it out.

Start a schedule, maybe? I am not a schedule person tbh, my nights and days can be hectic. However,

My largest weakness is that I can’t stand a schedule but organization, lists, and work will help you

Even with content,

Practice makes so much better, and if you have talent that can never be taken. It’s you; your camera, talent and personality.

That’s what it takes to be a star? The next rising star?

Cadence

Delivery

Into

Hook

Meat and potatoes

Outro

Next video

Follow up …

Honestly, it is the way that you carry yourself.

It all starts with the mind.

The mind, will turn into action

Actions toward the right direction with pure eagerness will lead to success.

It is all in you. There’s no such thing as luck but only preparation.

Don’t give up on your business

My field is very saturated; there’s a million people chasing fame: don’t let a small group of people get into your head

There’s 8 billion people in the world. Go travel and love it!

When you think of a psychic, you would probably think that it is truly all in the head however, you are right. It is all in the head, we have the Gateway Process, which touches base on being able to, Astral Project, Healing, Manifestation, Psychic Enhancement, and Spiritual Awakening.

What is consciousness?

Your consciousness is your thoughts, which shift your realities. Your reality is what is in your head. You have the control, and you are the creator of your reality.

Levels of Consciousness?

Conscious: You are alive: awake, talking, moving, you feel. That is conscious

Subconscious: DNA helix regenerating, Cells regenerating, your heart beating, breathing, and memories being stored.

Your brain.

Unconscious: Rebuilds your body, brain etc, it restores.

Your brain is party of your Nervous system:

Parasympathetic nervous system: Rest and Digest

Sympathetic nervous system: Responds to stress, your blood pressure will increase

This is important to understand because your body is constantly generating energy, without you even know. However, let’s take another dive and look into this. Without, the utilization of your brain, you would not be able to function properly because your brain is the shot caller. Meaning that every small movement your body does is controlled by the brain.

When you think of that, think about

When your heart is beating, lungs breathing, stomach churning, and pupils adjusting to light. That is basically, the autonomic nervous system — think of the word “Auto”.

Trust me when I tell you that, we are just beginning our journey.

Now, that you know that the mind is truly in control of everything, you have to be able to understand that you see or hear is truly what can change your beliefs and how you react.

270 mph: Tiny electrical currents are running through your nerves to make your move or react.

When there is a sudden change in the environment, your body will react. It starts from the way you think, your brain it is all the control center. We only use 11%.

In the midst, today, 6/30/2025,

Ai technology is transcending and could possibly replace jobs on the near future. Also, let’s take into consideration the possibility of an economic, downturn. However, we are not here to place emphasis on that portion.

We are here to talk about how the Utilization of AI in the wrong hands can actually have detrimental effects on the entire world.

How? You ask?

Well, what you see, and you hear, changes what you believe.

Further down, hypothetically speaking, imagine if someone were to hack your phone, spread misinformation, use frequencies to distort your reality and find your triggers? That is truly how you destroy someone within.

Studies conducted by the USSR shows:

https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP96-00788R001300010001-7.pdf

V2K, and MK Ultra –

These are synthetic frequencies that are created by vibrations or oscillations which are created by machines or software

• Binaural Beats, Isochronic Tones, EMFs (5g, Bluetooth, wifi)

The reason why I am placing an emphasis on this is because when we look into the gateway process, it displays that binaural beats can control the brain.

Even, Elon Musk, said within an interview that AI is far more dangerous than we think it is, if it falls into the wrong hands. Not only will our jobs hypothetically become obsolete due to AI advancements, but this so also opens an opportunity for technology to manifest into our realities by manipulating the psyche.

Imagine if you were hacked, surveillance 24/7, v2k (control over frequencies trying to manipulate the function of the brain) refer to Gateway Process, isolation, Spread of False information, Financial Disruptiveness, AI technology and Drones. This is the Era of invisibility. So, either you destroy yourself or other people. I am here, to teach you how to heal, and combat, as a survivor but as a Gateway. Control your mind, so that you can free your mind.

On this blog, or my video series, I am teaching how to combat psychological weaponry that is created by AI. It takes one, to have experience all of this, and have the psychic ability + pyrokinetic to be able to teach this firsthand. This is not about one Nation, this is about the world.

https://hiroko.or.jp/wp-content/file/nextgenerationwirelesstechnology/FreyEffect/007/Microwave_Auditory_Effects_And_Applications.pdf

https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP96-00788R001300010001-7.pdf

Entropy: Destruction, in order to build and create a Great Awakening, we must learn to find God, meaning yourself and consciousness.

We need a Restart, and it starts within.

If there is entropy outside, we have to heal from the inside.

Truly betting on yourself

It is all mental and the mentality should be to strategize, detach and perseverance. When your back is against the wall, all you have is yourself and God, or whatever you believe. You are forced to look within.

How do people with pain tolerance deal with pain? Well, enough pain has been inflicted to the point when it becomes normal. Think of it, it is actually like this

Example: You are raised in a family that constantly yells at you. You would be more adjusted to being around a setting where you are constantly being yelled at compared to someone that came from a background that is not.

Now, with pain –

It is exposure and increasing your level of pain each time. The body adjusting if you add more pressure.

Diamonds are made out pressure.

You have to remind yourself that

So, you found yourself in a dark place, in your mind, when you want to give up?

1. Calm down and breathe (Meditation)

2. Make a plan (Create goals + Utilizing YouTube to meet goals.

3. Keep going. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if you don’t see it. Even if you don’t know where you are going, just keep walking, look at what you could’ve done better yesterday, and then you do it the next day.

This is also a time to dive deep into a meditation.

This will start to piece together because as an entrepreneur, you are working for yourself so

Think of this:

You are your own creator and your own boss. Tomorrow, if granted means that there’s 24 hours to make a difference or money.

Meditation will help you dissociate from reality. When you dissociate, breathe in and hold – count to four – breathe out hold and count to seven. Really focus on the breathing.

Do this for twenty minutes

From there

Write out your journey even if it wasn’t a journey for you

Write out your dream life

• Visualize (this is key)

Use platforms such as Pinterest, which is I’ll help you create visuals. <—— It Girls (We use this thing called Manifestations)

We write down exactly what we want, and we get it.

Once you have this, you’ll begin to write down the steps to get there.

If you want it; and if you love what you do. It will never feel like a chore for you! I love writing in my blog, do I get paid? No.

However, it was a wrap up of all of my social medias. Which connects everyone at a hub, of my journey. I am only able to teach because I literally had to record and live through the trials and tribulations. Even being gangstalked

Against all odds, and harassment, I made sure that I had to hold myself up. I can’t take care of anyone else when there’s so much. I had to look within

Started meditating, let to my place, started working the way I wanted to. It takes change and a huge event in life to change your perspective in life.

There is happiness at the end of the tunnel, and life is really a game to others but I always knew that I am in danger due to the gang stalking.

In order to protect others around me, I had to leave.

When you find yourself in a dark abyss just know that everything happens for a reason. Maybe, you won’t see it yet but that rejection is a redirection towards better.

When you find god, within, everything will align because I went through the at most trials and tribulations of them all.

Breathe through it; and strategize, then execute. That’s all that you have to do. Then, YouTube motivation because in the end, if you can find the mentor in person. Might as well, as find the mentor online, once you’re able to build yourself into that level, then you’re able to sit in the circles that you want to be in.

Look how everything is truly within. Taking a leap of faith and following what is considered the most uncanny decisions for a visualization, or a dream can be undetermined in regard to the paths that are chosen. just remember that you chose a route that most people do not. Even if it is dark the light is within you.

Taking a huge leap of faith. As in 05/05/2025 I AM SIGNED TO OFTV, AS THE FIRST FIRE BENDER/ PYROKINETIC.

Last night felt like a movie, my friend dance did a fire dance in honor of the element. Pyrokinesis is much more than fire bending, it is what is within. Within, is where you can cause yourself to find the balance in your mind. I have PTSD, so having to be able to control my mind has been one of the toughest uphill battles but realize that, as long as you are doing more than the day prior and constantly, emitting the intent for the greater good of all, you will attract everything that you truly need and want.

Honestly, this all fell into my lap. I moved from Los Angeles, with NOTHING. Especially, having an entire investigation on me, gang stalking from dude from Charlotte, and now, I am finally signed. It took me to lose corporate, family, bottle service etc. Most people will tell me that I ruined my life by doing this, but content creation is all that I had to rely on, aside from God. This is truly my story, of everything I had to do to get to the level of seeing an approval email, taking strategic risks, and pushing through them. Knowing that the waters were shaking and not knowing the depth within my industry. Which is traumatizing, believe it or not. I have met amazing people in Los Angeles, and I have also known of the people that were supposed to support me from my hometown but decided to tear me apart. I am grateful for my reputation in The Bay. I have had my name smeared. Only because, I kept my family away from my industry to protect them. Now, we stand here and look at everything I built, and worked 21 hours for in a day, and even a heart attack. To have it all taken away from me. I was so close, then being harassed and being called broke over a million times a day from the man that caused me to lose everything, and even families in San Jose / Bay etc. It was tough having to rely on my own, and not even being able to pass a background check to save my life. I had to become SELF-MADE. I did not know that being affiliated with nightlife would cause my life to tremble over a man who couldn’t keep his mouth shut, but I am grateful because I have documented everything and now, you have followed me through my journey. I had a group of people from high school, ten years later trying to gun for who I am. Which happened ten years prior when rumors were made of me. I have a resume to show, how many accolades in life I have successfully achieved, but being known, or even a verge to this is another level that I had a feeling that I would

Remember, that when you are singled out, there has to be a reason, AND it is a great thing to not walk within sheep, when you are a wolf. I am literally pyrokinetic, people call me a “freak” which, it is not a bad thing either, especially in my industry.

Regardless, your destiny will find you when you are ready to handle it.

An essential part of success is being able to become obsessed with yourself. The moment you begin to gossip about someone, that is when you are losing. You need to be able to work on yourself, before being concerned about the next person, you have to be in their arena. First and foremost, you will fumble because of the lack of alignment. Have you taken into consideration why certain people sit in certain circles? There is always an end game in which they all align on. The moment you are unable to reach that Eschelon, you should focus on who you want to be.

You want to be perfect? Focus on making yourself perfect but the first thing you would need to work on is the mind. Vibrations, and then, strategize. I can promise you this on my life, the lowest vibrations is;

Envy/hate

The energy is very powerful, especially when pertaining to any sort of energy. It takes a level of concentration from conscience. That is why it is super imperative to protect your energy. Whether you believe in above, or you find it within yourself.

ENERGY CANNOT BE DESTROYED NOR CREATED….

BUT

IT CAN BE TRANSFORMED.

Taking the pain and transmuting that into a positive enlighten in your life will being happiness and attracts what you want by raising your vibrations. The last memories, that you take with you are your happiest memories, anytime you laugh, any time you smile, any time you make a positive impact, you are choosing a higher vibration. I want to live a happy life, and being around spiteful will lower my vibrations, and equals less happy memories, why would you want that?

You have to ask yourself,

Why surround yourself with beyond negative people? The universe will see it as guilty by association. Meaning that,

given reference

Oranges, when one is spoiled, the other ones will spoil as well. I look forward to taking care of my family, community and creating programs to teach entrepreneurship skills, and so that our future generations can break generational poverty. A huge part of this journey is spirituality, and vision, without a vision, you won’t be able to strive for your goals. Train your brain so you won’t be programmable. AI and Psycho-nanopsychiatry are

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23183130/

The understanding of growing up without anything and making it to have it taken away again. Time and time, there have been moments of breaking down and having to generalize all of my challenges. The first step is self-accountability, and realizing which options to weigh out, and trust me. I had to do a lot of inner searching. Discipline is a huge factor that I lack in, however, as a content creator, I am able to hone in on my craft and continue to push on my own time. This is the story of a small girl, which had to make it herself.

I had to sacrifice everything, and even time away from family. I realized that everything happens for a reason. Now, you are not in my shoes, but I am giving you an idea of the person that is teaching you how to look within.

Even when it feels dark, just know that you are the catalyst. I always recommend finding an outlet. My general advice:

1. Becoming obsessed with what you want. Only because there is less competition when you are the best. Where does this pivot to?

2. Learning the deficiencies in your industry and from people that have experienced your industry. Listen, I need to do this better. I am lucky to be pyrokinetic but the pain and work, that it took to have a deeper understanding of spirituality was hard enough, and it carried with me to my twenties, it is crazy how the past replays.

3. Planning

4. Double – check

5. Do not quit.

   Let’s Entangle: Energy Entrainment -

   Everything happens for a reason whether we believe it or not. I feel as though as the depiction of everything I’ve been through in a short time has been so much, yes.

   Aside from this,

   How do you keep a positive outlook and good energy?

   A lot of control and meditation

   Simply, I notice that when observing others that when you’re able to control yourself when you’re angry or under pressure. That is the upmost power that one can have. Which is the power of the mind.

   We are used to people that are highly impulsive and ready to hate others for no reason. Hatred jealousy/envy are the most lowest vibrational frequencies, but they are powerful. However, without the day, they will not always be night so in the end; light will shine through anyways.

   Take into consideration when you’ve once gossiped about someone, you’ve already let them win. By giving your time and energy.

   Trust me, I have tons of friends that make a lot of money, but could I ever say that they are truly happy? That is truly upon themselves. Are you truly happy when you’re not focused on your own goals.

   These type of people are what I call, “low vibrational” people.

   Example: The Kardashians, people talk a lot of crap about them but are you on their level?

   1. Make sure you’re talented, or as resilient

   2. Make sure that you’re competing between someone in your lane. Most of us, actually collaborate. & this is what I do, to lead a team. I only sit with women that are business oriented and worry about their own. Sit with like minded people.

   3. Will it make you money or impact on the world for a positive change for your behavior?

   In hindsight,

   Do you want to be a boss? A star? Or do you want to be the ones that observe.

   While you’re moving up; I can promise you that they have wasted their time that —-

   THEY CANNOT GET BACK

   Aging, and progression takes another level.

   You either choose to learn to hone in on your control of your emotions and become successful or you become a creator of your own world.

   I didn’t go nursing, I didn’t pursue accounting/ corporate anymore. If I didn’t have my industry & God I wouldn’t be here.

   Okay, now that we have that concept down.

   1. Worry about yourself – you need to be selfish to be selfless

   2. Build a skill

   3. Gain an amazing reputation and outwork everyone even if you don’t see your results

   I was not made to be normal, I’m a pyrokinetic, and well…

   The whole grasp on this blog is to teach,So

   Spirituality, consciousness and healing. This is truly what I want for everyone around me. To break generational trauma, and heal all together.

   Yes,

   I am in the adult industry, but only because of my circumstances that I’ve been put under. Many would not be able to overcome this.

   Eventually,

   My family background is from a genocide which … well, it’s an insane background.

   However,

   I want to launch off programs to build entrepreneurs, and help others break their generational poverty.

   Energy entrainment

   With Pyrokinesis.

   Pyrokinesis is about within being energetically who you are subconsciously reprogramming your mind and understanding what consciousness is

   How to be able to do any type of energy entrainment every force has an aura around it, especially if it’s fire; fire will give off the energy that is being admitted from the chemical components that are being utilized to start the flame

   so since your body has an aura in order to generate a high vibrating aura, you had to learn how to utilize energy and frequencies

   The concept of Nikola Tesla was the main concept of energy and frequencies and learning how to utilize it

   Once you understand that the universe is truly all energy. Everything is charged particles where we are.

   It gives you a different concept perspective to look into this

   So in order to vibrate at a higher level and to increase your aura

   In regard to energy and train that since there’s a force around the fire, you’re able to utilize your energy to pull in the fire closer to you

   Think of this

   Let me do a breakdown for you

   You have two magnets together

   One magnet is strong stronger than the other what will happen. The force will gravitate to what is more stronger.

   It doesn’t make sense but when you understand that the body generates energy around us

   By involuntary movements, such as breathing, blinking, and our heart beating

   It starts with the way you think because our synapsis are actually the ones that are generating these type of chemical flows in order to decipher how our body moves in voluntarily

   But what does this actually start with?

   Now do you understand the concept of the simplicity of breathing?

   Control your mind so society will not control you

   “Life fucked me long and hard, the opposite of this guy” Trials and Tribulations

   1. J snitched out the entire Bay.

      He tried to say that I was fake, stalking and a smear campaign, but everything that backs me is legit,

      This man told my business to undercover cops, and the undercover cops actually spoke to me

      So I warned my people; and left to LA

      How else would you know my business if this isn’t true? He told everyone my business and then it turned into, The Bay’s Business.

      The article on CNN is walking around knowing damn well, at EDC that I wanted to hug everybody again. I prayed for this and here’s the memoir.

      I did things for the greater good of all, regardless of what business ethics there were It’s for everyone to make their money and feed their families and build legacies

      That’s what my community and family does just because you don’t understand us does not mean that we are your enemies

      If anything, we are your alliances?

      Instead of starting any war, we actually became alliances

      Social media CNN, makes everything so misconstrued

      It’s not about how you make your money it’s about who you are

      It’s not even about how much anyone makes it’s about who they are

      When you learn as a leader to choose to select selectively of who is on your team, it only takes one to actually take everything apart

      One thing, energy don’t lie but snitches do.

      They tell the truth and then lie to save their ass

      I lost damn near half 1 million at 27, because of this guy.

      I may share my community, and my people were good from this investigation

      This man literally tried to make my life crumble apart because I wouldn’t give him the time of day

      I literally went for sleeping on the ground in LA from having to do anything that I needed, and I mean everything in Los Angeles to make OFTV

      Now, I have my own reality series about spirituality on there, but everything is going to happen in time

      I teach physics on porn hub spirituality on OFTV and psychic capabilities

      I had this man put a smear campaign on me and smear me for my reputation just to find out that my reputation was so strong that he couldn’t do that

      My community, my people my team I treat everyone with respect.

      He tried to discredit who I am because he’s the one who snitched out the entire bay

      He tried to say that I was fake but, everything that backs me is legit

      I did things for the greater good of all, regardless of what business ethics there were. It’s for everyone to make their money and feed their families and build legacies

      That’s what my community and family does just because you don’t understand us does not mean that we are your enemies

      If anything, we are your alliances

      Instead of starting any war, we actually became alliances

      Nobody respects a snitch in this industry, and in order for people to have your back you have to be about it

      Social media CNN makes everything so misconstrued

      It’s not about how you make your money, it’s about who you are

      It’s not even about how much anyone makes it’s about, who they are

      When you learn as a leader to choose to select selectively of who is on your team, it only takes one to actually take everything apart

      This boy wasn’t even part of my team. He was just a man that I fucked for fun.

      This boy calls me a prostitute when I’m literally on porn hub and OF lol

      This boy tried to defame every single bit of me and throw all of my family business out there

      He’s married and he even tried to get back with me when I was in Miami.

      He won’t leave me alone, it’s either I’m dead or that’s it. Aside, from putting my business out there he threw the entire San Jose out there

      And if one thing everybody knows from San Jose where I came from, especially in nightlife.

      If you ever meet me a real life, you’ll understand the respect that I give is given to everyone. I will shake your hand and introduce myself.

      My friends when we first initially saw him in April last year at my club 1015 Folsom, we’re doing bottle service. I literally told them that that’s the guy.

      I warned everyone a year prior before this investigation hit,

      Now I’m in LA, I used to think that Los Angeles supported snitches

      I found out that my reputation from the bay headed down to Los Angeles and they protected me

      People in Los Angeles are not fake not all of them

      I’ve met some of the realest people out here, and they protect me because of who I am up north in the fall that I took

      I wouldn’t have made it if I didn’t have my brothers in San Jose. I told him about this man damn near prior to all this.

      I did that out of my word I left my community, my family, my corporate job, bottle service and most of all my own soul insanity because that is all it took for me to hustle

      So, if you ever wonder why my reputation is the way it is.

      I came from Charlotte, North Carolina under 2 1/2 years and ran night life under a year. I became one of the biggest import models in The Bay under six months and published two low riders as the first Asian.

      I spent time away from my family trying to stack up just to have it all taken away from me, and I mean the most important thing. This breaks my heart so much.

      I built myself up in the bay, just to have it destroyed by one man who couldn’t date me

      I am one of the biggest bottle girls in San Francisco one of the biggest industry girls there too.

      I was mentored by men who ran the industry in The Bay. I very well respect the hustle, and mentality that drives in our blood at home.

      Till this very day, I took the biggest fall for The Bay, so everyone had time to understand what was going on

      I’m in Los Angeles now and now I’m on OFTV WILL BE SHOOTING VIXEN AND THANK YOU FOR MY NEW TERRITORY

      WHEN I TELL YOU THAT I SACRIFICED EVERYTHING AND I DID NOT WANNA GO INTO THE SEX INDUSTRY I WAS FORCED TO BECAUSE I HAD NO OTHER CHOICE. I COULDN’T EVEN PASS THE BACKGROUND CHECK.

      People will always ask why he is still here then if you’re the real deal? I do not give a fuck about labels and what people think about me.

      Don’t incriminate me for shit lol because I’m a victim of this man.

      You’re right, I’m not the real deal but one thing is you wanna play a long-term game instead of something short term.

      Impulsivity will rock the shit out of your fucking world because you’re not smart with your emotions

      For lack of all words just to wrap everything up

      I can go from being broke to being rich

   2. We live in the United States, capitalistic society

      Moral values

   3. You will have it all if you have these traits. Your reputation is your business.

   You cannot go from being a snitch to not being a snitch. Irreversible. Non-Uno reverse card.

   There’s a huge difference between us

   These are the codes that you should live by

   In the end, if brotherhood is real partnership is real, they will never cut you. We keep our mouth shut and work together.

   Before anything and anyone says anything else about me

   Make sure that you check yourself first and if you’re gonna say shit about me by the highway back, make sure you say it to me

   I don’t like to talk shit about people, but I will show up when I need to show up.

   Now ask yourself if he’s telling my business to everyone?

   You already know my business. You’re here, right?

   What makes him not do it to you? I only knew this man under two months in Charlotte.

   How much does he have on you?

   He was starting a smear campaign about me while I was at CaliCreaming

   He called me a poser in import model just to find out. I am one of the biggest ones there.

   The story is,

   This man couldn’t get me so he tried to destroy me

   Ended up, destroying my city, my family and my community

   And this is why it hurts so much but at the same time, I am grateful for all the trials and tribulations because it truly showed me that I made it.

   I am not affiliated, I am just an upcoming celebrity that’s coming from OFTv and import model under 2 1/2 years from Charlotte, North Carolina

   Money will never change who I am

   I will always do things for the greater good of all

   And by doing so I will always attract good things, and I would suggest that you guys do too

   Integrity, Camaraderie, Respect, And most of all, courageousness.

1. Control your F*cking mind

In order to control someone’s mind is to control what they believe in. In order to control what you believe in, you have to be careful on what you hear. Life is about decisions, and in order to form those decisions, the ability to cognitively think, and weight out decisions we need the ability to think with caution.

Your thoughts control your reality.

As an entrepreneur, you have to be able to see a vision, that one does not. Einstein, Nicola Tesla, Elon Musk, etc inventors, scientists, ….

Geniuses.

They all a few things in common, they have vision.

They think out loud, and they understand frequency and energy.

From my perspective as a Clairvoyant, and Pyrokinetic — there is only hundred thousand in the world. In the Case of The Gateway Process, There was a study that was created to research humans with these innate abilities. Which include, Telekinesis, Past viewing, Future viewing, Astral Projecting — These abilities are worth more than a trillion dollars because they cannot be bought.

With AI replacing everything, your soul cannot be replaced.

Sounds, and frequencies mimic different vibrations and beating of the heart. The Universe is all energy and frequencies – We have waves – charged particles in the Air (Quantum Vacuum). With that being said,

It is all consciousness.

What is conscious? It is the mind, that is my definition, but it is being cognitive of your thoughts, body, surroundings, beliefs and anything that interjects.

There is a study that was conducted with plants,

They vibrate at frequency and if words are spoken to each subject, one in a positive tone, and the other in a negative tone, the one that is spoken with positive intent will flourish, while the one spoken with a negative tone will be wilted.

Plants have something called Photosynthesis, and chloroplasts which causes them to vibrate at a certain frequency.

The most famous one is conducted with water. I will circle back once I explain the dynamics.

The experiment you’re referring to is commonly known as the “Rice Experiment,” popularized by Dr. Masaru Emoto, a Japanese researcher who claimed that human consciousness could affect the molecular structure of water. In this experiment, portions of cooked rice were placed in three separate jars:

1. One jar labeled “Thank You,” where participants spoke positive affirmations.

2. Another labeled “You Fool,” where negative remarks were directed.

3. A third jar left unspoken to, serving as a control.

Over a period of time, the rice in the “Thank You” jar remained relatively preserved, while the rice in the “You Fool” jar became moldy and decayed faster. The control jar’s rice also deteriorated, albeit at a different rate. This outcome was interpreted by some as evidence that positive words and intentions can influence physical matter.

Here is the Research Article: Water Consciousness.pdf

Take a look at page 13, the droplets of the water changed per affirmation subject’s vs Negative words.

75% of our brain is made up of water.

The impact of the words that you hear, will change what you believe, what you will you believe will change your actions and your actions make an impact on others, positive or negative. There is only 24 hours in a day. & when you die, all you have is your conscious, if you vibrate at high frequency, you will be able to ascend within yourself, acceptance. It is all the minds.

One thing about energy, energy cannot be created or destroyed. However, it can be transformed.

So, make it a positive life

Each frequency during a meditation, will trigger different portions of the brain or what some refer as dimensions.

Each breath inhaled, and will trigger a state of consciousness,

What does that mean? Well, think of sleep. REM stages, here you are. While you are meditating, your body is awake but tapped in.

Back to frequencies,

When you blast your bass next to water there will be ripples, will move differently at different speeds and patterns —

Now, you turn it louder it will increase.

So,

When you are speaking, and it is in a positive tone, you are transmitting frequencies to the other person. They will intake the information will influence their behavior, which also means. It is vice versa. When stated, the greater good of all, the dynamics of learning how to become conscious and aware of society will help impact for a positive change. As you can see,

from Case study above that I have provided, the frequencies that we listen to, can change the way we think, because it changes our beliefs. MK ultra is a technology that is used for psychological warfare, to manipulate and control people, with AI emerging, the only to be able to not be weaponized, is to be awake.

1. Root, 396 Hz - Red

   Sacral, 417 Hz - Orange

   Solar Plexus, 528 Hz - Yellow

   Heart, 639 Hz - Green

   Throat, 741 Hz - Blue

   Third Eye, 852 Hz - Indigo

   Crown, 963 Hz - Violet

   Color breathing is the ability to focus or think of a color while meditating, when you are doing that, and listening to these frequencies that align with the color. This will trigger portions of your brain, that will cause you to be able to feel energy at a higher level, called intuition. Intuition is that gut feeling when you know something is bad. Why does it happen? When are in a state of nothingness, you are able to feel everything within your body at a heightened sense without distractions. Your body hair is like an antenna to frequencies. Energy does not lie, but people do. Do you see your cellphone, do you see media? It is the things that you hear and see that changes what you believe.

   Will you be the 99% of the distracted? Media is ran by hashtags and trends. To distract everyone. Trust what you see, not what you hear. Trust energy, and not bull sh*t. People talk a lot of shit; there’s people that will talk shit and, not fight. You; you are here to learn to just show up and execute. A sharp mind will exceed one of the many others. Are you one of 8 billion or are you one of them? Control your mind so that society will not control you.

   However, we do need people that are ignorant enough to not understand this. The right knowledge, moral values and competence will get you to right people.

   Mind over Matter, and money will always follow the mind.

   Moral values are controlled by the way you think and the way you act.

   The next generation is depending on it.

   The DNA helix is always evolving, creating.. etc

   Make sure snitch is not in your DNA, because it gets passed down.

   You can from broke to rich –

   You cannot revive a snitch.

   How did Pyrokinesis start?

   A hard life —

   I dissociated which led to a state of meditation for hours –

   Think of someone that has PTSD – when they have flashbacks they dissociate – I used to do this for hours a day since age six. I began to learn physics at eight, after reading books at seven. I learned Algebra at eight from my sister of four years older than me, because all we had is a candle and books. When you change the way that you see things, and how you interpret things, it will change your energy and aura. Do things with positive intent, and gratitude, and you will live a prosperous life — of happiness — and elite genetics because you learned how to heal yourself

   Life is about evolution. Heal your mind, body and soul.

   Resources b*tch:

   https://ia802303.us.archive.org/13/items/water-consciousness/Water Consciousness.pdf

   https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP96-00788R001700210016-5.pdf

One thing about core values, is that; you cannot find them within everyone. I look into myself and my situation of having to jump into an industry that I wasn’t ready for, which is the sex industry. I’ve dealt with a ton of tribulations the entire time.

I became resilient by becoming numb:

I only focus on the things I can control and keep going even with tears in my eyes. I know that I will be judged by many but those that understand the root of the story would grasp the same.

Being isolated, taken away from

Family

Community

Career and not even being able to pass a background check. The worse feeling is knowing that there’s so much bad happening to the people that I love and not being able to do anything about it.

It’s my community and family that I do things for wishing in a prayer that everything would eventually take off from here.

I am grateful for the respect, and credibility that is shown to me. Thank you, The Bay, Las Vegas, and Los Angeles for taking care of me for The Bay.

That, my family; I am very appreciative of everything but only if you knew that I lost a big portion of myself to make these things happen.

I can’t wait to come back to my family knowing I’ve built a foundation for them, and network.

The warnings, leaving and even mind, body and soul to make these things happen.

Just for OFTV? Well… onlyfans truly saved my life and helped me get to a new place where I can make money and leave

Even help with my mental health.

The material that I am teaching is about the creator but yourself as well. Personal development to change the next generation because the DNA helix is always creating new strands and each trauma that you heal, you heal the future. However, not only that you are becoming a higher vibrational being that will begin to see the world in a brighter light and begin to become positive to everything else around you.

The forbidden knowledge of esoteric knowledge

My Blog, and OFTV

Are marketing materials to teach for The Greater Good of ALL

Regardless of your stature, structure, industry and money. Your character cannot be bought

Your reputation is your business. Vice Versa.

As AI transcends we will need to be able to distinguish what is real, and artificial.

So?

What is this? Well,

Pyrokinesis, yes. Is one of my very few talents. I can go in deep on all of them but I decide that this blog is about philosophy, philanthropy, physics, esoteric and even a dive onto religions.

Mostly,

I am teaching you how to tap into your conscious mind.

How to understand the universe and alignment

Energy, frequencies, the anatomy of the brain

This includes, case studies, physics, and the subject right in front of us.. you and I

We live in an illusion of what society deems as “Normal” but everything will eventually become obsolete due to the innovative technology. Elon Musk, he is right, if we do not put regulations on AI, this could be very damaging to the human race itself. Don’t get me wrong; I love technology but the adaptation is also at a rapid rate.

So, the next new age is the Age of Aquarius.

We know that the conscious mind, is a real thing that has been studied, “Gateway Process”

https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/docs/cia-rdp96-00788r001700210016-5.pdf

You are the creator and remember one thing, what you listen to, and what you see will change your beliefs. Energy does not lie, but words do.

We live in a society of, hashtags, trends, and low vibrational humans. As we arise to become one of the few … well…

Let me break it down,

It is all linked together ——

And well, only a few have a big enough platform to teach this

https://www.theresearchlodge.com/further-light/kabbalah-freemasonry

https://www.gadu.org/wp-content/uploads/kabballah-and-freemasonry.pdf

https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/docs/cia-rdp96-00788r001700210016-5.pdf

Energy and Frequencies

The brain

Breathing techniques

Holograms

Astral projection

The science behind Kabbalah, this is the knowledge that is known to be “forbidden” or known as Devil Worshippers. Which, not all of us are. We do things for the greater good of all, truly. Out of everything I began to realize that it all truly aligned with myself. As a pyrokinetic, one of the Billion.

I can tell you right now, all of that above is linked together which is made to become our

“Society”

Now,

Open your eyes if you may, and take a leap for positive impact.

Realize that, tapping into meditation will help with alignment and alignment will increase your energy that is around you. The universe speaks in frequencies and energies

The hemispheres of the globe, and our brains.

Outside of all of this, aside from this vessel we have as a body. Additional planets, space, galaxies, we have one thing in common: energy.

Learning manipulate energy by tapping within. This is all divine oneness, and every universal law will play a part of this life that we live in this dimension until the next. Your soul is energy.

In regard to where your soul ascends, that is truly within your conscious.

Love, gratitude and acceptance is truly what will elevate your souls after life but even if so,

Kindness.

However, not everyone in this world can grasp the concept of this notion. Even the biggest, and baddest gangsters understand this concept of treating each other the way that we want to be treated. Brotherhood, partnership, and family.

We all have a code of conduct, core ethics that cannot be bought. In order to learn to decipher the difference between those that will weigh you down, and potentially backstab you. & knowing value, which is truly within yourself and seeking your true inner healed version.

OFTV is the platform that I use for marketing to teach the creator, yourself. & The one above. The Universe. The Greater Good of All.

The sun had to come from somewhere, and energy is what truly runs to entire system here. So, think… as a pyrokinetic. I am the light that defies physics itself as a human being. It takes one gifted human being to be able to teach others how to tap into their abilities. We do not completely use our brain, each day our DNA is evolving. So, this starts with the healing within ourselves, and the knowledge that we obtain is truly what cannot be taken away from us.

For All.

The purpose is much bigger than matter

Mind over Matter.

Matter will follow the mind

With positive intent.

The world will become a better place for all.

If I am going to die, I will die

Being an Iconic LEGEND.

Auras – Soul

Everything in this world vibrates at its own pace –

Gas – charged particles that are vibrating in the air at a higher rate

Light and sound are vibrating at a higher rate

Higher levels of dimensions and charged particles are vibrating in the air; to match the level of vibration – you have to do thing enable to raise your frequency to match it.

Example:

When you’re in love, your heart beats fast…

in order for your heart to beat fast, your brain has to process it, in order to have impulses dive through your dendrites and neurons.

So, you feel your heart beating when you’re in love

• it beats fast and hard, that is generating energy in your body — which causes an energy shift within your aura — The aura is the energy around your body

• So, the things you hear, the things you speak, are frequencies

• However, when you are feeling your heart beating faster, and faster you are creating energy around you to become stronger as your aura.

• Involuntary movements within your body are also, generating some type of vibration which your heart is the core center of your body

• So, imagine, waking up, and hearing all good things that raise your frequency — Which is joy, happiness

Let’s take a step back and look into this topic in retrospect;

We are on Earth; we are part of a solar system aka a galaxy –

Let’s take into consideration – *Space* – Sun (fire) – energy

Now, take a look at yourself, as a vibrational being.

Gas molecules – the air we breathe – charged particles that are moving in the air (gas) – every planet and space has gas —

Where does this lead to –

1. Everything is energy

2. Your thoughts and emotions create your vibration – what am I trying to do? I am trying to teach you to control your emotions and thoughts. The only way to manipulate someone is to control their thoughts, feelings and emotions. — How is this important for you? As being in this world, you will always have people that will try to fool you, but energy does not lie, but people do. Now, I am trying to help you align yourself to opening your chakras – with scientific evidence so that you are able to use your intuitive abilities to read energy. Sometimes you can feel when someone is off, and your gut feeling is correct. I want you to be this aware often. Self-discovery is how you will be able to choose family and soul tribe. It’s brotherhood, partnership and family.

3. You are the creator of your reality – Pyrokinesis – manipulation of fire (which grabs your attention) now, the whole point of this is self-development – ok. So, our DNA helix is constantly regenerating. I am teaching the known that is unknown by providing case studies from Military on subjects, along with the proof of quantum mechanics, cited sources and the Subject (Myself). Now that we understand that the DNA helix is constantly evolving which is the meaning of life — however, healing yourself will heal the next generation. Your reality will start with the way that you think.

4. What you hear and what you see, will change your perspective and create your beliefs but you as in yourself can always change your own perspective – your own reality and create life to manifest you want. These exercises, not only shift your vibrations, increase intuitive abilities, I am teaching you how to master yourself despite all of the distractions — we only 11% of our brains —Here, I am as a pyrokinetic teaching you the greater good of all

   .

The Law of Vibration

Energy and frequencies

It is the universe, look at the sky – it is bigger than all of

How does the Universe work? — let me burn some

The universe as we look into the sky is running on energy and frequencies

The language of the universe is frequencies –

Nature – birds chirping – think think think

Those are high vibrational noises

Now,

Success….

What do we usually do when we are proud of ourselves?

We are happy or celebrating

When you are happy, you are more likely to make someone else happy or be around happy people. Surround yourself with people who are vibrating at your level or above.

Those are high vibrational noises?

Since the universe only speaks in frequencies, you can shift your frequency to align with others that are in the same frequency. Do not he sadden when you lose friends, you will align with those in your frequency, yes because life is about growth, and as when you are shifting your frequencies – you are shifting to a higher Eschelon.

That’s when we recognize our own comes in.

They say, if you sit in a room with 5 millionaires, you are the next one.

Who do you sit with? Where do you want to be, without jeopardizing anyone else or your moral values? — Remember we don’t burn bridges in our family — unless need be.

The Universal Law, divine Ones – Everything is connected.

The point is, it is all how you think, in order to control yourself and not be a slave to society, you have to be a master of your mind.

You have 24 hours a day, to make an impact –> tomorrow is not always guaranteed.

Why do I do this?

It is not Just Onlyfans –> I got onto OFTV to teach the material on my blog, because my story is a tesimonial of resliency, and belief in the creator and oneself.

I intend, and I made a promise to God that if I had another chance in life that I would my it a purposeful one.

— Well, the material here is used to teach — OFTV is my large platform — I am teaching how to heal, physics, clairvoyance abilities because everything is going artificial you will need the ability to read people — this blog is more than self-development — it is not getting me paid — it is my draft for my oftv content material

But I’m presenting this as my content which I want to be as efficient. Think of this as the original version.

However,

The fact that I am including myself as subject, case studies, and physics to prove it

I am truly helping the world align themselves.

6% of my annual income starting today 6/13/2025

Will go towards curating programs for young adolescent entrepreneur programs to teach the core values of entrepreneurships, skills so that they can break generational poverty to create Global Leaders for The Greater Good of All. It only takes one to break generational poverty, and when I am dead, I can’t money with me but my impact on families will live on forever — that means — My name will always be alive —-

For my family, for my community, and all.

Progress with a Pyro –

Resonate tuning is basically humming to the frequencies, which is changing of the vibration. How? Hmmm, the sound hmmm, send vibrations to the body, so if you are humming. You get it, with breath work your heart synchronizes with frequencies. To synchronize with binaural beats from the gateway hemi sync methods you are shifting your vibration.

Your body is asleep, but your mind is flowing, the left hemisphere of the brain is relaxed, but the right side is going

Think of having like… flashbacks… There is a focus called focus 10

Focus 10 – Louder music, and being able to zone and continue to move in this dimension – soul is out of body, but you will be able to move.

Your soul is energy, and everything in the universe is made of energy. We only 11% of our brains.

You ever have a conversation, but you are thinking about something else, or someone else, this part of focus 10.. we are able to vibrate, traveling multidimensionally while in being body awake.

Don’t believe me, read this case study:

https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP96-00788R001700210016-5.pdf

The Law of Correspondence is: When I tell you, that it is truly mind over matter. Your mind will be a reflection of the matter. What you think, is your reality, so in order to cultivate the light at the end of the tunnel, you have to think about your end game. Make sense? In order to build your resilience.

What are holograms?

3D images aka a video that is playing right in front of you, what hemi sync audio does is stimulate one side of the brain, while the other is relaxed? Think about this, when you zone out of conversations, or when you’re imagining someone while fucking. Yeah, it’s a form of meditation. However, this explains Holographs, and now, try to imagine being me, a psychic.

What are Holograms depicted in the Gateway process?

Holograms in the gateway process is depicted on how you want it. What do I mean? It means that, if you can visualize it, like a movie. You can become closer to that reality? Yes, Holograms remember? Your brain doesn’t know real from fake, with the hemi sync. You are the creator of your reality — your thoughts are your reality.

Excerpt:

Once I have fulfilled my purpose, and within my future endeavors, my duty within my Society is to lead, guide and develop future Global leaders. With doing so, part of my responsibility is to teach consciousness to new leaders, AI innovation will be beneficial to society, but so will the awakening of Conscious, everything happens within divine timing.

Today, marks the day where I start my ten-day journal of hemi sync meditation – this includes the meditations, the decibels, and alchemy that is utilized

In a world full of elites we are all divinely aligned, but it is on you, to choose to awaken. There are only 24 hours in a day, 8 hours is utilized to work, 8 hours is utilized to sleep, and you have an additional 8 hours, plus commuting. You choose how you want to live life, but I choose to create a vision, follow with strategy, for the Greater Good of All. My name and Legacy will always live on.

Thank you, to my mentors

Let’s list off Five things we are grateful for today!

Let’s off our five affirmations in the Mirror

Today we are learning about Focus 15

How to Travel into your past and access something we call Akashic Records is your past, don’t believe me…

Try this meditation and this very case study

ANALYSIS AND ASSESSMENT OF GATEWAY PROCESS — Focus 15

Use this guided meditation. It is for an hour.

She is amazing with her meditations:

She gives you the guides and binaural beat – I give you the Logic, case studies, and subject.

https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/docs/cia-rdp96-00788r001700210016-5.pdf

Imagine that, you can change your reality in no time! Being able to zone out and visualize your goals.

You are the controller of your life.

So, the things that you hear and see will change your beliefs. Let me tell you, the ride to where I am now, you will have a lot of doubters, but you have God, which is you. You are, The creator of your reality. Zone out, by using earphones. Simply, if you don’t want it in your reality, forget it. Even with breakups. I am going to teach you how to become stoic and detached. You have to have to get used to not expecting anything. The Law of Detachment, you got to let it go, and let it flow. What is meant for you, will align with you. Only worry about what you can control. Also, hyper focusing on something that will Better yourself, whether physically, spiritually or mentally.

Being in this industry you will, and I mean will have an audience, you can’t make everyone happy. However, what you need to visualize is, Who you are in five years.

Plug in your earphone, go by your plan, because think;

you are a Jet.” Soaring through the air, the thunder does not matter, the birds does not matter, you still have to fly to get to your destination —

If you can’t see it, and you can’t hear it

It should not exist to you. It is your reality if you accept the hurt as your reality. In our family, we cut off people quick, and one way to best do it. It is to pretend that they don’t exist. Then, they we forget they existed, the rest of life, is so much better when it is enjoyed.

Focus on what you can change.

People can gossip about you, however, if you persist to train and work towards your goals, their words never will mean anything to you, because you did not hear it in the first place to change, the projection of yourself. When you are listening to these things that others would say, they will lower your vibration.

Hone your craft, become an expert and you will have less competition. No one can beat your hard work, unless you let them get to your head.

They do not matter, your ex does not matter.

Make your plan, write your goals, put on some earphones, and zone tf out and work. For the greater good of all,

I hope that you become better

If anyone wants a reaction, do not give them a reaction, because the fact that people can control your emotions, will make you weak.

Social media targets people’s emotions, and in order to control someone control what, they hear, what they see, and that changes their beliefs, which is their emotions.

So, regardless, you are the alchemist of your life and the controller.

If you didn’t hear it, it did not exist in your reality. So, lowering your vibrations, will attracter lower vibration, but if you shut it out and work, on the better, you won’t hear the noise. You just keep going up from here.

When you think of a psychic, you would probably think that it is truly all in the head however, you are right. It is all in the head, we have the Gateway Process, which touches base on being able to, Astral Project, Healing, Manifestation, Psychic Enhancement, and Spiritual Awakening.

What is consciousness?

Your consciousness is your thoughts, which shift your realities. Your reality is what is in your head. You have the control, and you are the creator of your reality.

Levels of Consciousness?

Conscious: You are alive: awake, talking, moving, you feel. That is conscious

Subconscious: DNA helix regenerating, Cells regenerating, your heart beating, breathing, and memories being stored.

Your brain.

Unconscious: Rebuilds your body, brain etc, it restores.

Your brain is party of your Nervous system:

Parasympathetic nervous system: Rest and Digest

Sympathetic nervous system: Responds to stress, your blood pressure will increase

This is important to understand because your body is constantly generating energy, without you even know. However, let’s take another dive and look into this. Without, the utilization of your brain, you would not be able to function properly because your brain is the shot caller. Meaning that every small movement your body does is controlled by the brain.

When you think of that, think about

When your heart is beating, lungs breathing, stomach churning, and pupils adjusting to light. That is basically, the autonomic nervous system — think of the word “Auto”.

Trust me when I tell you that, we are just beginning our journey.

Now, that you know that the mind is truly in control of everything, you have to be able to understand that you see or hear is truly what can change your beliefs and how you react.

270 mph: Tiny electrical currents are running through your nerves to make your move or react.

When there is a sudden change in the environment, your body will react. It starts from the way you think, your brain it is all the control center. We only use 11%.

In the midst, today, 6/30/2025,

Ai technology is transcending and could possibly replace jobs on the near future. Also, let’s take into consideration the possibility of an economic, downturn. However, we are not here to place emphasis on that portion.

We are here to talk about how the Utilization of AI in the wrong hands can actually have detrimental effects on the entire world.

How? You ask?

Well, what you see, and you hear, changes what you believe.

Further down, hypothetically speaking, imagine if someone were to hack your phone, spread misinformation, use frequencies to distort your reality and find your triggers? That is truly how you destroy someone within.

Studies conducted by the USSR shows:

https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP96-00788R001300010001-7.pdf

V2K, and MK Ultra –

These are synthetic frequencies that are created by vibrations or oscillations which are created by machines or software

• Binaural Beats, Isochronic Tones, EMFs (5g, Bluetooth, wifi)

The reason why I am placing an emphasis on this is because when we look into the gateway process, it displays that binaural beats can control the brain.

Even, Elon Musk, said within an interview that AI is far more dangerous than we think it is, if it falls into the wrong hands. Not only will our jobs hypothetically become obsolete due to AI advancements, but this so also opens an opportunity for technology to manifest into our realities by manipulating the psyche.

Imagine if you were hacked, surveillance 24/7, v2k (control over frequencies trying to manipulate the function of the brain) refer to Gateway Process, isolation, Spread of False information, Financial Disruptiveness, AI technology and Drones. This is the Era of invisibility. So, either you destroy yourself or other people. I am here, to teach you how to heal, and combat, as a survivor but as a Gateway. Control your mind, so that you can free your mind.

On this blog, or my video series, I am teaching how to combat psychological weaponry that is created by AI. It takes one, to have experience all of this, and have the psychic ability + pyrokinetic to be able to teach this firsthand. This is not about one Nation, this is about the world.

https://hiroko.or.jp/wp-content/file/nextgenerationwirelesstechnology/FreyEffect/007/Microwave_Auditory_Effects_And_Applications.pdf

https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP96-00788R001300010001-7.pdf

Entropy: Destruction, in order to build and create a Great Awakening, we must learn to find God, meaning yourself and consciousness.

We need a Restart, and it starts within.

If there is entropy outside, we have to heal from the inside.

XOXO

Kim Tha

Ochoa, K. D., & Windebank, J. B. (1987). Nerve conduction velocity: physiological and pathophysiological aspects. Muscle & Nerve, 10(6), 577–588. https://doi.org/10.1002/mus.880100604

https://hiroko.or.jp/wp-content/file/nextgenerationwirelesstechnology/FreyEffect/007/Microwave_Auditory_Effects_And_Applications.pdf

https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP96-00788R001300010001-7.pdf

This is an invisible war in your head, if hypothetically anyone could alter the frequencies 5g, wifi, and etc … even with music and what you consume. You are what you consume.

Earphones – shut out noises, and with those you can eventually gain the skills to dissociate. The best way to combat frequencies that could hypothetically be used, is to use another that would combat that frequency. So, when they tell you that, music heals.

Let me give you an example,

Delta0.5–4 HzDeep sleep, unconscious healing

Deep ambient, slow drone

Theta 4–7 Hz Focus 10 / Focus 12 (Mind Awake, Body Asleep) Shamanic drumming, ethereal pads

Alpha 8–12 Hz Entry-level meditation. Lo-fi, calming music

Beta 13–30 Hz Awake/alert state. Most pop & fast-paced music

Gamma 30–100 Hz Peak consciousness, unity experiences. Rare in natural music but can be mimicked via pulses

• In order to trigger this trance of meditation these are the types of Hz to listen to in order to trigger certain portions of the brain. This includes,

These types of beats trigger a certain emotion due to a portion that is being stimulated. People use different tones, that trigger different part of your brain, which causes an electrical impulse –> causes you to feel a different emotion. Now, when you feel a certain emotion, and you want to feel another, you will look for this frequency or this song with that frequency.

Think of when you listen to a sad song, the beats, voice, tone, tempo, all of it. It makes you feel sad, when you are listening to a sad song. Yes, this is exactly what it is.

So, hypothetically,

EMF can distort sleep and cause anxiety, or it can entrain meditation.

Using subliminal aka messages, and frequencies that can trigger a portion of your brain can be harmful if used incorrectly.

MK Ultra

Let me show you part of the brain and the emotions that are tied with them:

Delta 0.5–4 Hz Deep sleep, subconscious Trauma release, dreamwork Cellular healing, regeneration

Theta 4–7 Hz Trance, creativity, hypnosis Deep meditation, reprogramming Gateway for reprogramming & trauma release

Alpha 8–12 Hz Calm, alert relaxation Relaxed focus, light meditation Light meditation, visualization Creative visualization, calm presence

Beta 13–30 Hz Focused thinking, Alertness, thinking, anxiety Short meditative focus bursts Insight, advanced learning, spiritual states

Gamma 30+ Hz High-level cognition Peak focus, unity consciousness Expanded consciousness, spiritual insight, advanced learning, spiritual states

EMF: think of your cellular towers, wifi etc. these can manipulate your brain

The Frey Effect shows microwaves modulated at speech frequencies can beam words into your mind—bypassing the ears.

Binaural beats: Deep Healing + Self Awareness

Flashing Lights: Disorientation + Pineal activation & Clarity

Hypnosis state: Suggestion control + self-Programming & intent

Subsonic frequencies: Induced fear or unease grounding + energic cleansing

Neurobehavioral Experiments:

My job here is to teach, you how to dissociate and meditative, this will be able to help, with you with your intuition. Why is intuition so important. It is important to understand intuition, to decipher right and wrong. What is authentic and what is not?

Economic cycle

Late/Pre-trough  2025:

Massive layoff – AI

Go to Bloomberg to check all your indexes

Housing unaffordability

Stagnation risk: High prices low growth

Types of waves:

Each frequency has a drastic

A: ALPHA 8-12HZ entry Alert state

B: BETA 13-30 HZ Awake/ Alert state :

D: DELTA .5-4 HZ Deep sleep, unconscious healing

G: GAMMA 30-100HZ Peak consciousness, unity experiences

T: THETA 4-7HZ Focus 10 / Focus 12

Brain Area Role in Music Response

Nucleus Accumbens: Pleasure, reward

Amygdala: Emotion processing: Small

Hippocampus: Memory formation

Prefrontal Cortex: Planning, attention tiktok

Cerebellum: Timing, coordination

Auditory Cortex: Sound perception

Binaural beats –

Include MRI and research –

Types of Focus 1-21

Hemi Sync:

Brainwave Frequency State Used for

Beta 13–30 Hz Alert, thinking - Default waking state

Alpha 8–13 Hz Relaxed, meditative

Focus 3–10: calming body, visualization

Theta 4–8 Hz Deep meditation, trance

Focus 10–15: subconscious access, remote viewing

Delta0.5–4 Hz Deep sleep Focus 21+: gateway to nonphysical experiences

Gamma 30+ Hz Hyper-awareness, intuition Rare — advanced mental processing

Microwave (300 MHz – 300 GHz)

• Reported Effects: Anxiety, confusion, auditory hallucinations ("voices")

• Associated Technologies: Frey Effect, Moscow Signal

Infrasound (< 20 Hz)

• Reported Effects: Fear, unease, panic

• Notes: Rumored use in crowd control

Ultrasound (> 20 kHz)

• Reported Effects: Irritation, insomnia

• Notes: Rumored use in interrogation

Extremely Low Frequency (ELF) (3 – 30 Hz)

• Reported Effects: Lethargy, mental fog, trance-like states

• Notes: Can penetrate through water and earth; linked to brainwave entrainment

Pulsed Electromagnetic Fields (PEMF)

• Frequency Range: Varied

• Reported Effects: Emotional shifts

• Notes: Experimental applications

Scalar/Longitudinal Waves

• Frequency Range: Theoretical

• Reported Effects: Remote transmission of emotion or intent

• Notes: Associated with fringe science and black projects

Okay, Now we just realized that there’s soundwaves to counteract other waves, that can be used for lethal purposes.

Yay, I got featured! IT was a day to celebrate because most people don’t this early. I have found many different journeys in life, I lost my family, community, self, careers, and I mean everything. This, only fans, would not have happened if it wasn’t for him, and everything he did out of anger, my family. If anything has happened to you, I do not know. I am praying each and every night that Light, K, and A are well, and protected by my angels. My pink, bible. I hope that he keeps, I try to astral project but know. I miss you, every day, and every minute. I am sad, because it’s everyone growing up, losing time… from everyone important to me. I promise you, I will protect at all costs, especially when I am back.

You would think the money is insane, I am grateful. However, there’s a lot of expenses. So, much, you have no idea. Then again, scaling social media under a year, is pressure. In end, I will take of everyone and everything that needs to be paid. Due paid.

Without, that man, who thought I cheated on my ex-husband. I did not. We split in March.

Now, my family and community did suffer. Yes,

it felt like I was a sacrificial lamb, because a man’s ego was hurt, and an investigation was involved. Guilty before innocent, when I was trying to help my communities’ businesses, because they are immigrants, and I understood how it is to come from nothing.

I saw Satan, and I am telling you, this man did not care, not one bit. All, of the technology that I speak of, yes.. that all I will say. I am teaching this is because all I had/have is God. Discrediting, Reputation Ruining, stripped of everything (environment), everywhere I went, it was like people spreading rumors — high school again—- what if you found out it was about a girl in high school that started rumors about me — and the technology (that’s how you destroy someone from the inside). That is how you win, an invisible war. One that you cannot trace, until you understand technology. Resiliency ran through my veins — How so? I am a Pyrokinetic / Psychic — the 100,000 out of 8 Billion ( which is our planet) & This is why I can walk you through any type of combat. I had to go through it.

Imagine,

It took me everything to lose, to jump on Onlyfans – 2025 is the AI Boom

This is how much stubbornness, to start an only fans means to lose everything. I was a corporate girl, and yes, I did a lot of nightlife

OFTV signs me, 3 months in — while I was struggling, and I had to pay fees

HSV: positive, never had a sore, until after EDC (paid as an influencer)

I get featured on Month 6th, and now — there’s war in Gaza — release happens showing a fire bender – the first one to explain the phenomenon. Gateway process is now out – with through research – Ai is the next thing – next technology – but it replaces the job market & it is also dangerous. HSV ended up saving me — by making my body healthier. Nanotech.

OFTV is a streaming service that is PG ..

Well, we can put it all together, right?

So, chatgpt earlier said that this would be my route after taking a look at my blog

However,

Now, I am on OFTV, after that guy took everything from, family, and community. Even when we did things for the greater good of all,

I realized the gateway out of this war, partial of it is me, the first signed fire bender — sounds weird, but I have phenomena – to explain the phenomenon.

I am teaching you, to dive in because you will need to if, If Ai gets into the wrong hands — yes, so if he had an idea that I was like this, and this is testing — the money.

However, for greater good of all, how many innocents has he done this to?

That is for God to know. That is a threat to society, and for I,

well, I am going to teach because it’s not about segregation, it is about healing and protecting ourselves from AI.

So, from here, family, Light, K, and A.

I apologize for having to leave to protect, but in the end, i am sad but the world, needs this type of healing, during the next events that come up from this……

Economy – *stimulation for economy* — we need to heal within and protect within, and …. the way that time is leading — I really have to be effective and do with purpose.

As much as I think that LA is fucked as fuck, I realize compared to the Bay. They actually are about it, because they do not deal with snitches, they are used to fake here, that they are able to read people. They will join with their family, yes. They will take your word at first, if you are their fam. But, for me, I had to prove myself. Now the difference is in The Bay, we are assholes, but we have good intent. Majority of us, are really smart, degrees, and even beyond. Tech, innovation is where we stem. I came from and nightlife, it is a mix of LA & The Bay. You have to have true genuine character to have a reputation out there, certain circles will not affiliate with you, and people will not support you, if you don’t have the right network and reputation. This is only speaking from what I know now coming from The Bay. Trust that, I am the newest in the circle. My reputation from The Bay came down to LA & Las Vegas, nightlife is small. My Instagram, yes. It is my nightlife portfolio, and yes, I kept tags, and location just for additional proof, of how my reputation, saved my ass. If you have a question nightlife, ask industry in The Bay — Which saved me. So, I got lucky, that I kept my integrity, camaraderie and I was courageous for the Greater Good of All. I could’ve easily opened my mouth, like that man did. Do you ever know why, I know about this technology??

Read this all,

Resources:

Frey, A. H. (1962). Human auditory system response to modulated electromagnetic energy. Journal of Applied Physiology, 17(4), 689–692. https://doi.org/10.1152/jappl.1962.17.4.689

Monroe, R. A. (1983). Analysis and assessment of Gateway Process (CIA Report No. 1983-0000018). United States Central Intelligence Agency. https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/document/cia-rdp96-00788r001700210016-5

Lin, J. C. (1978). Microwave auditory effects and applications (viii, 221 pp.). Charles C Thomas Publisher. https://hiroko.or.jp/wp-content/file/nextgenerationwirelesstechnology/FreyEffect/007/Microwave_Auditory_Effects_And_Applications.pdf

Ochoa, K. D., & Windebank, J. B. (1987). Nerve conduction velocity: physiological and pathophysiological aspects. Muscle & Nerve, 10(6), 577–588. https://doi.org/10.1002/mus.880100604

LaMothe, J. D. (1972, July 1). Controlled offensive behavior – USSR(CIA‑RDP96‑00788 R001300010001‑7). Defense Intelligence Agency; Central Intelligence Agency. https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP96-00788R001300010001-7.pdf

Well,

There’s a reason, why I don’t want to be around him. Calling someone out for stalking me, oh yeah, and the rest the 1015 bottle girls knew. Yeah….

I went through hell, to find out that I am the solution to what counteracts psychological warfare, AI technology, yes. Ai the brain, and guess? They’ll go control over … boom , your brain…. of course

This

is the invisible death.

Provided earlier,

Ai technology

• V2k: Microwaves signals that are being used to trigger portions of your brain plus subliminal. Soviets have used it in the cold war, and we have ai technology that we need R&D for

• Ai is the brain, to take someone out, it is within – target brain – who else better to target other than me. A girl who opened her mouth about her stalker – just to keep her quiet

• Now, we influenced under frequencies, and how they can be used? How do i know this? Well, I went through it. & they didn’t know that I am the gateway. yes, he found the few of 8 billion, that’s the planet.

• I should be dead.

• First step: Campaign – you have to discredit your victim, ruin their reputation. He tried to ruin my reputation but mine is solid– thank you, The Bay. Everyone from The Bay, that had my back — btw– this is how I got signed to OFTV and other territories im regard to businesses in LA — my reputation saved my ass.

• Then, you Blame mental issues – if Ai is the brain, people want control of the brain. Remember, discredit; and ruin reputations. In combat, ai can actually swade people’s beliefs and even smear people’s names

• I am telling you exactly what they will do, because I am the R&D. I am the micro level, while it’s smart because we are in a late phase prior to the Great Depression

• We need to test hypothetical…. Tools.

• This is how we will win, not just as a nation, as a unified globe together — -global unity — … after all of this I fought with myself whether I would share my story’s

• AI Technology in the wrong hands — I asked myself how many women did he do this to? That’s their blueprint. I survived.

• Ai is the Brain -> Technology new waves -> we need to stimulate economy from downfall ->

• Frequencies -> they change what you hear with subliminal -> so, they Change what you think -> especially from changing the things you see (Socials media campaigns) Yes, yes, yes!

• So, Someone spreading misinformation/rumors/gossip, and

• Even, hacking into devices.. this is what I went through

• Cyber-attacks hacking, misleading information (rumors), nanotechnology – the creation of synthetic viruses — your health are is exposed, and even so… DNA helix is always expanding. Whether, I am going to be alive after this, I don’t know. What, I can tell you is that I survived invisible death, for opening my mouth about a stalker. <- intent

• In order to weaken your enemy, you have to isolate them, target -> which I am in La, and my reputation attempted to be smeared, “that is how everyone in LA, knew certain things about me”. Target environment, make them paranoid, and even so, use Ai technology on their brain -> v2k-> next ai is — technology vs the brain

• Invisible death with no trace, or evidence. Who else will he do this to? If he had it in his instincts once, can you imagine another girl did it.

• Now, their/victim reputation is smeared, people think they have mental issues, financially they put you in financial strains, now, you are stuck. & you’re away from your family and they can be hurt. This is, the invisible death, yeah. J from Charlotte. I will never forgive you for this, but without, this. I wouldn’t be able to help, a nation, but the world. This is the technology they will hypothetically war, and the fact that I have this ability, my psychic abilities that I’ll teach you. With the Gateway. I am supposed to be dead. and they didn’t know, and it was not in my health records, studied, it was a secret that I had… for myself. This is the key to win, psychological warfare. The Gateway Process. I’m Kim, I had to prove my abilities for OFTV.

• It was either a silent death, hearing broke, broke, broke, broke, rumors — imagine how someone narcissistic, they are the reason why you’re hurting, and they still blame it on you. The whole point here, for me. Is to teach consciousness, regardless, if people -> the life cycle. I can’t stop it, no one care when it was me, in LA. Except a few, and those I hold to my heart. They kept me going: However, now. I think how much was put into this. & now you found a gateway – how much did he get paid out of this? It was either a silent death or getting paid.

• This time, The Source has me, and guess what? We have the blueprint to win, for greater good of all. What they did to me is what they will do on a macro level aka larger level, that is why I can talk about this. We know their schematics now. I am supposed to be dead.

Not necessarily from everyone else, but it was truly, I did with good intent.

In LA it’s the home of creative or you don’t have to be too smart. You just have to be talented, if they see potential, a big label will, sign you, once you sign, marketing will push you out. I had PROVE that I can bend fire — This is the dream we come here, with… a dream of. Well, I came here to protect. I just accidentally got signed however, I am truly grateful.

So as an entrepreneur when people try to defeat your dreams and tell you to get a real job, XYZ remember you’re going to be making their salary while you’re sleeping. So, keep going the next thing… is truly on you to decide whether you are going to take the step out -→

Only 1% of people make money off of content and I did under a year, and now I’m teaching you.

The Law of Action

Now, that we have learned that everything is truly energy. Let’s look within to hone in on your personal goals. Without being able to visualize what you want and realizing that what you truly think is how you create your reality. Meaning, that you can go from a negative place in life to a positive with the way that you THINK.

You have to dissociate from your reality and see the future version of you when you plug in those earphones. This is truly the key to winning this portion.

If in combat, signals are being manipulated, you have to be able to meditate and control your mind.

Being able to visualize the life that you want, and writing it down what you have envisioned, and then create your goals. There’s light at the end of the tunnel.

Like, learning a new skill to create a new business, to drive the economy. It all starts with heart and pure intent for the greater good of all.

So,

choose a skill that aligns with you for the greater good, especially if you are within potential travel sanctions.

Hone in, on it. Do your research and make a plan from there.

Always strive to become the better of yourself, remember that, if you vibrate at a higher frequency, those that are lower frequency individuals will always result in envy, which means — they stay in envy

Success – you applaud for, and you are proud

Jealous – Jealously, you are envious and lower frequency.

If you want to be around success, vibrate at a higher level because, energy does not lie, but people do.

A failure to plan is a plan for failure.

Remember, to think long term for the greater good of all.

Resources:

Frey, A. H. (1962). Human auditory system response to modulated electromagnetic energy. Journal of Applied Physiology, 17(4), 689–692. https://doi.org/10.1152/jappl.1962.17.4.689

Monroe, R. A. (1983). Analysis and assessment of Gateway Process (CIA Report No. 1983-0000018). United States Central Intelligence Agency. https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/document/cia-rdp96-00788r001700210016-5

Lin, J. C. (1978). Microwave auditory effects and applications (viii, 221 pp.). Charles C Thomas Publisher. https://hiroko.or.jp/wp-content/file/nextgenerationwirelesstechnology/FreyEffect/007/Microwave_Auditory_Effects_And_Applications.pdf

Ochoa, K. D., & Windebank, J. B. (1987). Nerve conduction velocity: physiological and pathophysiological aspects. Muscle & Nerve, 10(6), 577–588. https://doi.org/10.1002/mus.880100604

LaMothe, J. D. (1972, July 1). Controlled offensive behavior – USSR(CIA‑RDP96‑00788 R001300010001‑7). Defense Intelligence Agency; Central Intelligence Agency. https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP96-00788R001300010001-7.pdf

AI THAT MANIPULATES THE BRAIN: Soz, I forgot the piece on back of my hair to braid. I was playing with The dog.. anyways!

I solved my potential murder! It was a group from Modesto that conspired against me from high school. Aha! I also found the solution for artificial intelligence, psychological warfare!!

OK now here I am,

Here I am

The first bender signed to OFTV

However, with all the significance of this, I stumble upon be stalked by someone from North Carolina. It all started so well which I wanted low-key because as the rising next celebrity of the bay that’s adopted by the nightlife Circle group. I already knew where my trajectory was with my first year of being in California.

I got up from being a small bottle girl from corporate from such a hostile lifestyle. Truly, having to be ripped away from everyone and I can’t even protect them at this point because the protecting that I did was to actually leave so none of this was targeted towards them.

It wasn’t just nightlife and affiliation, so-called allegedly. It was because for the greater good of all I wouldn’t want anybody to be directed to what I dragged in.

No, you watch Bay chapter 1 Bay, chapter 2, LA chapter 1, LA chapter 2, on my Instagram highlights as my story yes, my Instagram is definitely my portfolio for nightlife and entertainment.

Now as I look eight months back to when I first got here, LA, homeless. Not be able to pass the background check also I didn’t have anything with me because I left everything behind for the greater good for everybody. Well everybody what I was first in LA was probably under their own type of “thing”. My dear, I was poster to child of the Bay. They started people that I knew that people didn’t like, but what the yes they would support a certain place because I was affiliated with it. I learned to keep my integrity, camaraderie and loyalty instead of throwing everybody under the bus. If she wasn’t guilty, why was she running?

I read because I knew that there was nail salons, restaurants, and businesses that were tied with immigrants that were working hard to pave way for their legacy. I watched myself from sleepy to the floor to becoming a one percent onlyfans influencer. Also, I’ve seen the upside down of life. I swear I’ve met the devil myself, which is the person that threw everyone under the bus actually he wasn’t aiming for everyone was aiming for me. What happened?

Well, he asked for for money and I sent him only $100 and he unfollowed me on Instagram so I blocked him on everything

Knowing me, I have short-term memory ADHD I forget easy and I forget people

He stumbled upon 1015 Folsom, which is where I was a bottle girl, one of the biggest SF bottle girls. My entire crew of bottle girls also saw how frantic I was.

Now this is the story of how the San Francisco largest bottle girl had to leave her city, her family and corporate career

In the end, the man started talking to undercover cops and Spewing out a lot of allegations

OK, I moved to LA prior to that. I was in Atwater for three months literally under a rock. What are my friends actually was really scared while I was in the bay and had to create a report. When I tell you, people around me were frantic for their lives.

So I had to leave, intense, intense, intense

And now it seems like it just finally I got a break

That last video I posted up in the blog prior there was just something about it that made sense to everybody.

Remember, it’s just a story

If you’re not guilty, you wouldn’t need lawyers or you wouldn’t be phased

I actually never needed to really Lawyer up.

Going through a whole year of understanding, artificial intelligence, and what these things were doing to me. I would test myself to see whether this was reality or whether it was not.

This man literally ruined my reputation and smeared my name while I was in Los Angeles, but my reputation in the bay saved my ass.

When I tell you all I had was a tripod myself God and a phone

I finally did it. I made enough money and I be really good friends at my job and they became my roommates.

I have amazing neighbors and friends

However, this does not negate the fact that what I went through in regard to V2K, phone being hacked, surveillance, along with this one was probably has to do a spirituality

If you don’t know, me as a person, what you will know. Is… that I am a very spiritual person along with that comes with religious. I do it for a reason if people feel my energy where it feels I don’t know, safe.

I feel bad for my neighbors if they ever felt like they were being watched

OK, now that I’ve went through all this. What else is bext

I always wonder how I got signed to OFTV so quick and how why I scaled onlyfans so quick

Would I tell you I hustle my ass off and it’s so disrespectful for people to tell me that I don’t work at all? I was sleeping on the floor and barely scraping by while everybody is screaming at me that I was broke broke broke broke, but they didn’t realize the person snitch they were friends with was the biggest ditch up north, which caused a lot of raids.

Now we have a understanding of my breakdown of the video coming off, clean slate

Meaning that if a girl were to call you out for whatever you did and her friends already to see you… there … well

The utilization of AI could be used to the wrong hands which I’ve witnessed myself if & I had to deal with myself

Could you imagine somebody trying to use frequencies v2k, AI, security, put you in a bad financial position, everything that I explained on a micro level of my video is what’s gonna be done on a macro level if our economy keeps shifting downwards, and if there is additional conflict worldwide

I was able to connect all of it.

However, you have to realize that I gave up a lot of myself if you know how religious I am whether you know about me, is when it comes to God I’m very close to God.

trust me, what I said, my world has been upside down

Trust me when I tell you, he tried to get back with me while I was in Miami

He tried to apologize for everything and take accountability under another stupid fake account on Instagram, JK. Right?

Yeah…

I was nice to the wrong person

OK.

I didn’t think you would end this way

However, maybe everything happens for a reason

Without me going through this a stalker leaving to Los Angeles

Going broke and losing everything

Having to leave my family God knows what happens to them. I’m praying nothing happened.

Having to start from absolutely nothing while having all of this type of technology used on me

I was not supposed to survive this at all

Plus the investigations

But you know, it’s really good about the investigations

I don’t think he realize that the fact that was being investigated actually probably saved my ass and that I’m very grateful for.

For the things I’ve said about psyops, I apologize. There was some people that I didn’t like and they were on “another level”. It felt like torture.

To the new unit, I apologize. Thank you guys for doing your job.

I apologize if we ever butt heads.

OK now in order to interject into your operations, you don’t really tell the person that you’re investigating secretly.

But if this person is in danger, the way that this all makes sense… how about other people?

Now we learned about the invisible death, right?

This person could use frequencies to try to control someone v2k

OK, let me go into the gateway process again

Now that you know that psychics are real

The Gateway process plus AI is a very dangerous mix

Psychics can interact with other paranormal

These are called poltergeist

We are opening these type of phenomenon you’ll be able to see certain things

If you hit spiritual psychosis is when you rush, spirituality, and you won’t be able to decipher what’s reality or what’s not

For me, I’ve started since I was six so I was able to always understand this because of energy

However, if you are a new person and you’re new to the gateway process, are you try to speed this up

You end up in spiritual psychosis

Also take it to accountability that psychics open other doors to spirits and even entities

So imagine somebody who started playing with witchcraft out of nowhere

Because they opened their eyes to the gateway process, and this is where it gets very, very unwary from here

If somebody opens their third eye and enables their psychic capabilities and they begin to conjure something called demons

Along with the usage of V2k on their victim they understand that they’re able to control how their victim is processing things with constant harassment.

And if there’s somebody who they already know that cannot be destroyed because well, you could feel it and some people….

OK, now you understand that there’s demons but if there’s demons, there’s something we call angels

It sounds crazy. It’s insane, but it’s my blog.

Opening the door, the gateway process opens up more questions and this is not my battle to fight. This is someone else’s that is a successor of mine.

But now you understand, backtrack, to the gateway process, psychics, spiritual beings,… Yes, remember there’s people out there that could travel to the future, travel to the past, and Astro project, and have a psychic abilities

Why does God choose these people? I don’t know why you have to realize that

… God is literally the source, which is the sun.

Everything is truly energy so if everything is made up of energy, everything is made up of the source, which is God

These individuals who have the psychic abilities naturally are the ones that manipulate energy

However, you realize that these souls

If they’re psychics and people who can do all these abilities of the gateway, can you imagine them when their dead

The gateway opens your eyes to new doors

If this is an ascended soul already as it is, in a human vessel form

If I’m dead, I will be sure to make sure that everyone’s guardian angel. I would probably be stronger dead.

It takes a few of us to manipulate energy and understand, psychic abilities to teach other people how to awaken their conscious mind

So if I’m dead tomorrow, I don’t know

If this person is out loose, who is their next victim? How many victims?

And if he’s out,

After me, of course

Or who is their victim before me because

this type of mentality cannot be changed.

The obsessive behavior will carry on until the job is done, so it’s best to do keep on the investigation. It will prove intent, either way and all directions. If there’s people watching me through an investigation, then there’s people watching him.

That means if his obsessive behavior carries on until the job is done

Well, people will be watching him until the job is done

One down, one point, made one, intent that was proven

Life in well, his reality 

We have somebody here that’s out who is utilizing AI technology for our civilians when we could possibly have a bigger worldwide battle

And this is happening from the inside

This is why stress on why AI technologies is very very dangerous

It means that somebody can get away with m– – – – –

Utilizing frequency, so guess what, no evidence

Nano technology maybe give someone a virus

No evidence

Hacking someone’s device

Starting smear campaigns

Even discrediting 24/7

Take financial matters into this portion

What’s the last part? spirituality

Yes, yes yes just because I ignored this man

And now I sit here, realizing that is Satan spawn

And now that you realize we’re playing with demons, you sacrifice people

Demons will always fein

Yes, what do I mean you have to sacrifice something or someone

Play with demons is a low vibrational type of field

Yes, hell is very much below us

But this is not really considered hell this is just a lower dimension with lower vibrating frequencies

Heaven and playing with angels

Yes, Jesus is real

A real person at a point

He was just an ascended person maybe that his consciousness levels were at another level

OK, so now you understand that the gateway process proves that there’s people with these type of yes yes yes

Jesus had to sacrifice himself in order

OK…

Play with angels, you have to sacrifice yourself for the greater good of all

They will destroy your life so you can build something long lasting

Playing with demons you will have a shorter, but you’re high-yield

Meaning that if you want something with a good foundation for the greater good of all, you’re gonna have to suffer a lot to learn

Will you play with demons? You’ll have whatever you want right there until you can’t give them anymore.

So what if what if

This person has obtained the knowledge of witchcraft, occult knowledge, knowledge of AI technology, and has the money to purchase all these things

What if this person sacrifice the other humans for their rituals?

And guess what they’re getting away with a clean slate

The visible serial killer

The power of AI technology

The power of greed.

However, we did find the key to winning this technological manipulation as I call it

What if this happened? In Charlotte, North Carolina to someone else?

Who is his next victim if it’s not me afterwards because if you already have the mind to kill somebody invisibly through AI technology, all you had to do is put down money as civilian

Wouldn’t people just be killing everybody then?

Aside from that one

You have a person who’s out loose probably just offing people?

So any small or altercation and this person harassed for life and a clean, easy death if I wasn’t the gateway, I would’ve been in a worse position

OK, now trust me I know I won’t be alive

If he’s out, he’s going to kill me

If he’s in prison, he will put a hit on me

While he’s out, he’s gonna continue doing all of this because well you can’t change their mental, if you can’t change their mental, that means there’s another victim behind another victim behind another victim …. My murders from The Valley and him are still out

It’s the murder that I wrote because I figured out everything but losing me is losing the key to win the next combat

And maybe we need that maybe I’m too advanced

I just wanted everybody to develop for the greater good of all

And maybe the knowledge that I share on here will be my next memoir for all of you guys

I love you guys so much

As technology begin to transcend, we noticed that artificial intelligence is in increasing in demand. AI is the brain so it’s going to be technology brain versus the human brain. Well, what do people want? If this is the case control of the —— However, artificial intelligence is the key to opening new doors, but there is a down side effect of all this. Imagine if there was a small price to pay to get into someone’s mind with utilization of AI.I just the importance of the gateway process on my page because without the gateway process, I would not be a survivor. Imagine if someone can change a man manipulate frequencies as simple subliminal and use AI. By the way, V2K and MK ultra Imagine being able to walk away clean handed. This is why AI is very dangerous, and this is why I’m teaching the gateway process. Terms to look upV2KMK ultraNano technology- protein synthetic viruses USSR Nina Kunlinga KGB psychic, Gateway process. Now I’m going to summit down all of this video together. Imagine being a civilian and be able to do these things on a micro level, but this is on a macro level now.I go over economics, history of psychic, potential warnings to look forward to, I think you guys get that have dark humor, right? I’m teaching this all for the greater good of all. This is how you control your mind so people are nothing else can control you. This is not one nation. This is not a segregation with politics, this is global unity, For the greater good of all.

Resources:

Frey, A. H. (1962). Human auditory system response to modulated electromagnetic energy.

Journal of Applied Physiology, 17(4), 689-692.

https://doi.org/10.1152/japp1.1962.17.4.689

Monroe, R. A. (1983). Analysis and assessment of Gateway Process (CIA Report No.

1983-0000018). United States Central

Intelligence Agency. https://www.cia.gov/

readingroom/document/cia-rdp96-00788r001700210016-5

Lin, J. C. (1978). Microwave auditory effects and applications (vili, 221 pp.). Charles C Thomas Publisher. https://hiroko.or.jp/wp-

content/file/nextgenerationwirelesstechnology/

FreyEffect/007/

Microwave_Auditory_Effects_And _Applications

•pdf

Ochoa, K. D., & Windebank, J. B. (1987). Nerve conduction velocity: physiological and pathophysiological aspects. Muscle & Nerve,

10(6), 577-588. https://doi.org/10.1002/LaMothe, J. D. (1972, July 1). Controlled offensive behavior –

USSR(CIA-RDP96-00788 R001300010001-7).

Defense Intelligence Agency; Central Intelligence Agency. https://www.cia.gov/ readingroom/docs/CIA-

RDP96-00788R001300010001-7.pdfhttps://medium.com/timeline/nina-kulagina-spy-psychic-5644ac54066dhttps://youtu.be/lZL-CS-VYpY?si=8En2uDcph7Gq2E_t