Hi there. My name is Oreoluwa and sometimes, when things are tough I like to go jogging to clear my head but my fat unfit ass gets tired after 1 kilometre and I start hyperventilating profusely

now playing: The Cut Off by J Cole
"I never fantasize about murder çause I'm still sane
But I can't seem to fight this urge to make you feel pain"

Every time my laptop malfunctions these days, the urge to organize boys to beat the person that botched it becomes less and less repulsive. And yes, I know we spoke about love and letting things go last week but I'm still human and sometimes its hard to shake these feelings. Anyway, we move and improve.

Recently, I listened to a poetry unbound episode, in which Podraig reviewed a poem titled 'Phase One' by Dilruba Ahmed. The poem is so amazing in that it holds up a mirror to you and forces you to think about just how much you hold against yourself.

The Author talks about a number of their shortcomings, imperfections and weaknesses, but then she goes further to do something a bit special. After every line containing a shortcoming, they write "… I forgive you".

I forgive you. What's more beautiful than that. Looking your fears and flaws in the eye and making the decision to love, not loathe yourself for it. We all have our dark spots, that is the human condition. Add that to Society's call for conformism and hatred of unique traits (which are usually magnified as defects ) and sometimes its easy to see an individual existence as burdensome. I love the way My friend Mufasa put it:

But this poem laughs in the face of that. The author, who leaves the fridge open overnight, loses her bag in the airport and feels awkward & nervous for no reason, has now come out to tell herself that its okay. And that's not to say that these things are not being worked on. Its just a whole lot easier to work on your issues if you're doing it out of a place of self-love.

Honestly, I relate to the poem a lot. As someone with a lot of unorthodox behaviours, weaknesses, flaws and socially awkward practices, who is somehow also a perfectionist, loving certain aspects of myself is a mountain I've been struggling to climb for a long time. My tendency to overthink and be overcritical about myself and the things I do had me falling out of love with life for a long time, up to the point where I often had no desire to do anything, even the things I once found fun. Real low point tbvh.

But reading this poem, having honest conversations with certain people around me and learning to love the weird parts of myself, has helped in pulling me out of that place. And although sometimes I do slip back in, I realise that this is a journey and there's no pressure to get it right all the time. One practice I like to follow is to is to list out things that I'm feeling insecure about and add an "I forgive you" like the poet did. I've included a template for you to do the same. Hopefully it helps you as well. Feel free to post a clean copy for your friends and families as well. you never know who might need it.

now playing: Blinded by your Grace Pt. 2 by Stormzy ft. MNEK

For any of you that's into crypto, this is a difficult time. It seems like its been a red day for a while and you might be regretting and reconsidering because you're unsure of what's really going on. I'll just say this, just continue to do your research and grow your knowledge. And never forget the golden rule. HODL and have faith. We'll be back in the green soon.

now playing: Animals and Angels by Joy Oladokun

For your viewing pleasure, here's some wholesome content in the form of soldiers being reunited with their families.

This is me signing off and wishing you a beautiful week.
Bless you.