trnqlbnvvnt presents: archés mēns // charm / quark<i 2
prior quark<i installments: tempus ousía
My generation's greatest discovery: through altering his attitudes of mind, the human being can alter his life.
~ William James
[He] who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.
~ Carl Jung
what can i say...i'm a sucker for heptasyllabic couplets
our minds bask in cosmic glow;
souls unite in wholes and parts;
dreams realized with inner flow;
insight dawns in mindful hearts.
fate will bend to one man's will;
paths merge in silent ascent;
humble spirits, always still;
Grace & Mercy, Heaven sent.
we all resonate as one;
vibrant realms ignite the night;
inner fire outshines The Sun;
beings enlightened, future bright.
you can find the handwritten version in Appendix A
With this essay, i intend to offer you some guidance re: the album i curated to supplement my explorative odyssey into the nature of mind, reality and the self. Below, i prepared a brief summary of this essay along with a concise recommendation of how i'd experience the project the first time around.
In Ch. 1 ("the Path, In & Out"), i establish the foundational concepts that will support our investigation. Additionally, i share a deeper glimpses into a few pivotal life experiences that played no small role in initiating my now-unceasing inquiry into the philosophy of mind, metaphysics and ontology. Then, i introduce the album's core essence and layout the meta-structure holding everything together. Subsequently, i elaborate on the mimetic, thematic and linguistic contexts i used to harmonically relate ostensibly unconnected matter into an immersive experience. Finally, i offer some stats for you nerds and some qualifications to my words
In Ch. 2 ("First Fruits"), i describe the nexus between subjective experience and reality—the really real reality. Then, i extend the analogy of mind as a membrane that manifests as individual consciousnesses, the collective unconscious and regular patterns. Finally, pursuing a coherent ontology, i argue why idealism exceeds materialism as a metaphysical hypothesis. Naturally, because i'm closer to the beginning of my journey than the end, my reflections end with more questions and some conceptual implications.
In Ch. 3 Breadcrumbs..., i briefly outline various Holy Orthodox Fathers and non-Orthodox philosophers who i'll read to deepen this particular line of inquiry...Lord only knows when i'll get to that
The Appendix includes a hand-written copy of the poem in the prelude and the table of contents broken down into acts and scenes.
read ch. 1
listen to the album
read ch. 2
read ch. 3 (optional)
dive deeper (optional)
thus, i invite you to peruse this experiential inquiry and call you to cultivate awareness of yourself :)
arranged alphabetically
analytic idealism
the metaphysical hypothesis positing that the world fundamentally represents a naturally transpersonal and extended form of mind with experiential contents
dissociation
defines individuals as those immersed in a mental context of transpersonal mentation
necessary condition for individuation, for it demarcates the beginning of individual existence
mental resonance
upon interacting with localized loops of self-reflective awareness (e.g., individual egos, superegos, etc.), certain vibrational modes within mind's broader fabric get selectively amplified or filtered
natural mind
we can naturally perceive the world in mode that self-reflection does not hinder
such extended perception can engender higher levels of mental function
understanding the world around us necessitates tuning into these natural mental processes and intuitions
qualia
the qualities of experience
the transcendent self
a deeper, more expansive level of consciousness beyond the ego and everyday awareness
transpersonal mind
captures the interrelationships between:
the individual and the collective
the conscious and the unconscious
emphasizes:
the importance of personal growth
the potential for spiritual transformation
based on the transcendent self
i vividly remember it
During December 2020, i remember seeing myself not as a being-in-time but—for the very first time—as a being-through-whom-time-flows. Indeed, because i firmly dissolved my temporal intuitions, i felt somewhat liberated from the shackles of past, present and future holding me back. However, the next calendar year demonstrated that i luxuriated in that liberation to the point of deluded over-indulgence.
thus, i sowed the seeds of tectonic shifts in my self-conceptions
In January 2021, i nearly passed away from this life. As an ambulance body rushed my body to the Georgetown ER, i distinctly remember feeling intimately connected with celestial bodies outside of—according to my understanding—the observable universe. A mere worm of dust, i felt spiritually entangled with all of the microbes in ecosystems both near and far. Even, if for the briefest of moments in a time outside of time, i felt one with all things as i beheld The Beatific Vision.
Then, in October 2021, i almost passed away for the 2nd time in the same calendar year. This time, i carelessly scarfed down half of an enchilada with mole sauce consisting of almost everything to which i'm allergic (e.g., peanuts, walnuts, cashews, almonds, etc.) As soon as my ears became red hot, i knew something terrible had happened.
Although i handled my 2nd bout with anaphylaxis more gracefully than my 1st, i realized that i had completely squandered the last 9 months of my life. Sure, i achieved things of which most only dream, and i did so without breaking a sweat...but at what cost? Some deep part of me intuitively knew that find my way back home necessitated reintegrating myself into The Sacramental Life of The Orthodox Church (i.e., living liturgically).
If any man would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. For, whoever would save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for My Sake will find it. For, what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his life? Or, what shall a man give in return for his life? For, The Son Of Man is to come with His Angels in The Glory of His Father; and, then, He will repay every man for what he has done. Truly, I say to you: there are some standing here who will not taste death before they see The Son Of Man coming in His Kingdom.
~ Matthew 16:24-28 (RSV)
One who imagines that such an experience would immediately engender positive change would not be foolish. However, in my case, one would not be correct.
Rather than initiating an instant transformation, my profound confrontation with mortality left me grappling with the unsettling notion that my reality merely be a function of my mind. Despite having "the meeting"[1], i lacked the spiritual foundations to accurately contextualize this experience. Therefore, my inability to understand phenomena that transcend ordinary physical experience caused me to foolishly conclude: only my mind exists.
In my utter misguidance, i reasoned that life amounted to nothing more than a video game in which i am the only player. Each thought, word, action or deed is good if i deemed it so, and i also appointed myself as the arbiter of bad. Worse yet, i believed that i was The One who created the universe out of nothing. My perverted "wisdom" inspired me to conclude that my will—and my will alone!—pull all things from non-being into being. After all, if my mind (i.e., my consciousness) is the only metaphysically real thing, then my consciousness must produce every one of its contents. Shame colors my countenance as i write these words, yet i considered myself as The Ultimate Artificer of all artificial constructs. Such deeply rooted conclusions enable some of the most soul destroying behaviors.
Moreover, i believe affirming that mind is closer to reality's realest part than matter is a crucial recognition from which all will benefit. As my 2021 demonstrates, such a realization warmly welcomes solipsism—a true wolf in sheep's clothing—into your heart. Absent any genuine experiential foundation, you will succumb to solipsism. It will eat you alive, rendering the individual you actualize to be nothing more than a husk of your fullest potential.
Yet, amid the solipsistic view's overwhelming isolation, an unexpected grace emerged—a sign of reality beyond my self-contained universe. The Good Lord patiently waited for me. Although He allowed me to persist in unrighteous ways, i believe such likely prevented an, even, worse fall—ostensibly, one due to pride as The Fathers teach.
Glory to God for holding onto me with the hands of my spiritual fathers, for orienting me from the darkness to the light and for showing me that i'm not alone in the night! 🙂
Let this be written for another generation, and a people—which is being created—will praise The Lord because He looked out from The Heights of His Holy Place. The Lord looked down from The Heavens upon the earth to hear the groaning of those bound fast; to loosen the children of those who have been put to death; to report, in Zion, The Name of The Lord and His Praise in Jerusalem, while peoples and kingdoms gather together to serve the Lord.
~ Psalms 101:19-23 (LES)
Without question, i am a man who has been blessed far in excess of what he deserves. Such is Our Merciful Lord! Yet, i also recognize that not everyone presently enjoys access to The Church's Rich Treasure-House of Mysteries. Although i believe Orthodox worship's antiphonal and unceasing nature clearly evidence reality's fundamentally transpersonal essence more than anything else, i believe there are other ways to independently investigate the transpersonal nature of mind.
Eager to externalize internal understanding for a general audience, i channeled these insights to craft an auditory experience that encapsulates the mind and spirit's intricate journey. Thus, i prepared my 2nd (re)mixtape, archés mēns ("principles of mind") to help you recognize the transpersonal nature of mind. To be honest, if you attentively participate in The Church's Sacramental Life, i sincerely doubt that you need archés mēns to reach my conclusions. However, even, if you fall into that boat, i strongly believing that engaging with this project will—at the very least—reinforce your lexicon (i.e., your personal word machine) so that you confidently engage with such ideas.
The entire process and aftermath of tempus ousía taught me that thoughtfully curating the contents of these artistic science projects[2] unlocks more thoughtful reflection from the listener. Therefore, taking a page from the classics (i.e., man's greatest hits 🙂), i deliberately structured the album into 3 acts plus 1 prologue and 1 epilogue. Additionally, i divided the entire album into 15 scenes across the prologue, the 3 acts and the epilogue. Thus, any listener can easily find natural stop points, which enable them to confidently end listening sessions. Truthfully, listening to this in one shot is a difficult task that, even, i have not completed. Consider this like a movie or, better yet, a TV show...but audible. Breaking down the overall work into logical segments improves your ability to accurately extract its ineffable essence (i.e., the intellectual process).
For your reference: the prologue and epilogue act as the project's on- and off-ramps. Most of my favorite poetry (i.e. Pindar's epinicean poetry ) begins with an inspiring invocation, which gently reframes the audience's mind so that it better grasps the true content. Likewise, the two songs in scene 1 ("inhale") that comprise the prologue encourage the listener to breath in the spirit of the project. Conversely and naturally, the two songs in scene 15 ("exhale") that comprise the prologue encourage the listener to breath it all out.
I wanted to focus on songs with subject & object pronouns across all three grammatical perspectives (i.e., i/me, you, we/us). For, these songs enable the greatest variety of commonly unique and uniquely common experiences.
For example, consider the term "home": you precisely know the essence of the reality to which i'm referring when i use that term. However, i highly doubt that that terms identical contemplations in everyone's mind. For me, "home" refers to 706 Huntsman Place...if it also does for you too, then i probably call you papa, mama or dojay iykyk 😂 Likewise, the same exists for the term "verb" and any phrase include any of the 5 pronouns listed above.
Heard from the subject's POV, songs deploying i, you and we evoke a particular set of unique feelings. In those songs, i refers to you (i.e., the one reading this sentence), so each listener must experience each in fundamentally unique ways. On the flip side, the same songs heard from the object's POV will evoke a new set of equally unique feelings. Nevertheless, you in those songs also refers to you (i.e., the one reading this sentence), so you will have equally unique experiences.
Furthermore, as it so happens, the species of music that consistently deploys such pronouns is that pertaining to love & relationships. Most—if not all!—songs about relationships have at one instance of i and you. Honestly, any exception to that rule would shock me, so please let me know if you found one. Therefore, the entire album—across 3 acts and 15 scenes—maps the topology of how beings relate to things or other beings.
Specifically, act 1 aims to evoke feelings of falling in love—hence, the act's name (c.f. Appendix B). Within this act, i deployed ascending tempo schemes (i.e., the tempo of each song increases from start to finish) to describe a chaotic adoration. Conversely, act 2 aims to evoke feelings of falling out of that "immature" devotion, and i leveraged both ascending and descending tempo schemes to underscore a vibe of fear, uncertainty and doubt. Finally, act 3 aims to evoke feelings of experiencing love again. However, within this act, i deploy descending tempo schemes to describe a harmonic adoration. Allegorically speaking, vehicles tend to slow down as they approach their destination. Moreover, act 3 ends in an ambiguous and indefinite manner. Hopefully, if you're in an "act 3" relationship, your journey is in the present continuous tense: the ending's up to you and you alone! :)
Naturally, the easiest application of this relationship framework is interpersonal relationships. However, you can certainly extend it to how humans relate to non-human things. For example, you could theoretically extend these concepts to your relationships with different identities (e.g., roles, responsibilities, games, etc.) and goods (i.e., valuable goods, useful goods, pleasurable goods). Fear not, for i've yet to do this myself!
How—in the span of 4 months—a "shortlist" of 137 songs turns into 68 recorded songs, which itself becomes 59 songs published in 15 scenes and 3 acts...how all that manifests is beyond me
as of March 1, 2025, i am not a father—let alone, a father of 4 (c.f. song #1)
i (really hope that i) don't know anybody named Layla (c.f. song #53)
although this feels like a "love" album, no part of it refers to ANY particular girls (c.f. song #2) or boys
To be brutally honest, when it's all said and done for me (i.e., when the Shushefo veils my face ), this entire work (from my pov) will likely refer to more boys than girls (c.f. song 58) 😂
Note: i primarily produced this album (along with every single other reflection i've published) with myself in mind. To be clear, i have and will publish 0.0% of my reflections from which i haven't personally benefited.
Reiterating my earlier exhortation: before reading my reflections of this album in Ch. 2, spin through the album once. Then, after completing at least one listen, i invite you to read the reflections i compiled below. Subsequently freely return to album at your leisure and notice if your experience of it evolves. Play around with perspective: listen to one song as if you're the subject of adoration ("the adorer") and re-listen to it as if you're the object of adoration ("the adoree"). Have fun with it, and i will only make 1 guarantee: your experience of this album—and, thus, the insights it helps you generate—will be fundamentally different than mine! Enjoy!
As a whole, the universe represents the appearance of a universal conscious inner life of transpersonal mental states (i.e., ideas and emotions) underlying all nature. Such extrinsic appearances of transpersonal mental processes display on the screen of perception. They inform us about the essential experiential states comprising the substance of reality that individuals cannot access directly. Thus, nature represents a transpersonal form of natural consciousness: a naturally extended field of subjectivity.
Note: this discussion strongly echoes sentiments i shared in "on divinity", the 2nd essay i ever published almost 3 years ago! Although i now disagree with myriad assertions in that essay, comparing that investigation with this one may draw your curiosity.
As far as self-evident truths go, we only have naturally transpersonal experiences. Each of us swims in an ocean of transpersonal endogenous mental states (e.g., thoughts, emotions, instincts, etc.). The physical world—used in the conventional sense—simply represents how such experiential states constituting the world as it is in and of itself manifest to our perception. We share a transpersonal and mental external world of which the physical world merely represents an image. Ostensibly, the world as it is in and of itself is more akin to a transpersonal inner experience than anything else.
Transpersonal mental states (i.e., reality's true substance) impinge on the dissociative boundaries of each individual within the field of consciousness. Mental activity bidirectionally impinges on the dissociative boundary. For, an individual's inner dissociated mental activity affects the transpersonal mental state of universal consciousness through impinging on the dissociative boundary, influencing other conscious individuals.
Furthermore, an analysis of brain activity signals indicate that the dissociative boundary becomes porous during empyrean entheogenic journeys. Therein, otherwise unregistered transpersonal experiences may percolate through the more porous dissociative boundary, which is increasingly sensitive to transpersonal experiences.
Consider the following: imagine our experiential patterns as the vibrations of a hyper-dimensional membrane (i.e., a membrane in more than 3 dimensions of space). Imagine the entire set of reality's phenomena as a dynamic painting unfolding on a certain canvas, which we shall henceforth refer to as the fabric of mind. Imagine the fabric of mind as a hyper-dimensional membrane that supports incalculably myriad modes of vibration: visualize a 2-dimensional, flat membrane vibrating in different modes. Instead of a world outside of mind, the fabric of mind itself vibrates in unfathomably complex modes to produce these experiential patterns.
Furthermore, suppose that different parts of mind's hyper-membrane can "fold in" on them themselves to form (partially) closed loops, producing unique "local loops" of mentation. Whether recursive or fractal (i.e., loops on top of loops on top of loops...etc.), loop formation changes the natural mode of vibration within the loop similar to how pressing a guitar string anywhere changes its note. Only certain modes of the broader, unfolded hyper-membrane resonate within the loop, while others get filtered out.
Moreover, because of its specific topology, the local loop could support entirely new oscillatory modes that, even, the broader hyper-membrane may deem alien. These peculiar modes of oscillation within loops may leak out and influence the broader membrane. The loops modulate experience but do not generate, for the broader hyper-membrane's vibrations alone excite the vibrations within the loops.
Additionally, consider these loops as areas of self-reflective awareness in the mind, so they are analogous to our egos. Although there is only one universal fabric of mind, the illusion of individuality arises when localized loops of self-reflective awareness form on this fabric. Each has its own vibratory characteristics, but all stem from the same fundamental source.
A loop's topology may fluctuate over a lifetime because certain vibrational modes interfere with its structure similar to how a musical instrument can resonate with itself. Altered states of consciousness partially or temporarily alter the loop's topology, potentially enabling access to more modes from the collective unconscious that lead to transpersonal yet non-local experiences.
Finally, unfolded areas of the broader hyper-membrane represent the collective unconscious. Experiences exist (i.e., oscillations occur) there, but they lack self-reflective loops. Some vibrational modes in the collective unconscious get filtered out, and others form the shared "data stream" underpinning our consistently shared experience of reality. Vibrations within individual loops (i.e., egoic experiences) can leak out via resonance to influence the collective unconscious.
Natural laws describe patterns according to which subjective experiences regularly flow. For example, the laws of physics capture the vibrations within the loops that most humans ordinarily perceive. Science discards statistically insignificant peculiarities because every loop may have slight variations. Natural laws merely describe commonalities of oscillation across loops.
Your conscious perceptions exist.
Other living entities have different conscious perceptions from your own that also exist.
Things exist independently of and outside of conscious perception.
Things that exist independently of and outside of conscious perception generate conscious perception.
qualification: nature may behave as if the following model were true but not literally or ontologically true
Materialists grant all four principles; agnostic realists, the first three; idealists, the first two; and, solipsists, only the first. Thus, as an idealist, i only grant the first and second principles but neither the third nor forth.
Only subjective experiences themselves exists, so there's no world outside of mind that modulates your subjective experiences. Strictly speaking, there exists no proof of a world outside of or independent of experience because verifying such a proof necessitates experience. We infer an external world because it explains why different human beings report similar and mutually-consistent experiences. If everything subsists in mind, it may be all in your mind; yet, despite the lack of deductive proof, you can reasonably accept that other people also have minds.
Separately, although i deny principle three, i do not deny that other people have inner lives. Instead, i affirm that you have an inner life—a personal stream of experiences within consciousness—that i cannot normally access. Recognizing each other's inner life necessitates accepting a broader variety of experiences than those we can ordinarily access within our individual streams.
Idealists deny the existence of anything outside of consciousness. They grant that countless experiences exist outside of an individual's inner life, but these experiences are also streams of consciousness.
The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts.
~ Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
A viable alternative to materialism as our cultural narrative's underlying ontology requires a coherent, unambiguous and explicit system that accomplishes 3 objectives. First, it explains everything that materialism explains. Second, it explains empirically verifiable observations that materialism does not explain. Third, it accomplish the first two objectives with fewer ontological categories than materialism. Such a system that necessitates faith because it enables us to extend our single certainty (i.e., self-evident truth of subjective experience within mind) beyond its face-value individual boundaries.
how can you explicitly or implicitly affirm beliefs without experiencing them?
if the universe solely consists of experience and nothing outside of it, how can a model of such a universe accommodate apparently different minds?
why do all these apparently different minds seemingly share the same reality if there's no common "outside world" modulating their experiences
how does one coherent model reconcile all of this?
If one claims that qualia exists in the world rather than inside our heads, the world necessitates at least one non-personal/transpersonal experiencer. The crux of the debate rests on whether the experiencer is human or non-human, embodied or disembodied. I affirm that the nature of such an experiencer underscores the ontological necessity for The Holy Trinity, but let's set aside that discussion for another day.
We cannot explain how different people experience the same world unless we infer a transpersonal binding that unifies disparate personal experiences. Like inferring transpersonal binding, we analogously infer that the Earth extends beyond the horizon to explain the cycles of day and night.
Now, the above discussion represents not the end of my investigations but yet another beginning. Below, i've loosely sketched out two different trails of breadcrumbs on which i'll amble as i explore this topic for the rest of my life 🙂
One day, i hope to read St. Gregory Palamas, who explored the concept of The Uncreated Light and the profound dimensions of spiritual experience. I hope to continue reading: St. John Chrysostom, whose sermons often illuminate the relationship between the inner spiritual life and the external world; St. Isaac the Syrian, who poetically meditates on the unseen and ineffable elements of Divine Consciousness; St. Maximus the Confessor, whose emphasis on Mystical Union and the role of the Inner Divine Light hints at an underlying transpersonal reality; and, St. Symeon the New Theologian, who stresses direct personal experience of God and the transformative quality of Inner Light.
One day, i hope to read: Plotinus, who discusses The One and how the mind emanates from The Ultimate Source; Hegel, who explores how The Absolute and Spirit (Geist)—a transpersonal dynamic—unfolds through history; Carl Jung, whose development of the collective unconscious and archetypes directly influence transpersonal psychology; Ken Wilber, whose integral theory bridges the personal, transpersonal and collective dimensions of mind and reality.
01 father of 4 (intro)
02 city of stars
03 mystery lady
04 chham se
05 say something
06 i was made for lovin' you
07 be my lover
08 i confess
09 take control
10 full moon
11 jacob's ladder
12 henny
13 sugar
14 shadow dancing
15 say my name (remix)
16 LOUD
17 just stay the night
18 dangerous
19 pressure
20 lacchi gaani pelli
21 hair down
22 down for me (interlude)
23 bluffin
24 SPLIT DECISION
25 what did you say
26 let the music play
27 what you've done to me
28 tears on the dance floor (DJ edit)
29 missing you
30 strangely sentimental
31 hrudhayam
32 love again
33 biggest regret
34 wicked game
35 better by myself
36 mufasa dies
37 my love is gone (interlude)
38 phases (4am remix)
39 underwater
40 o baana modagale
41 amali thumali
42 sì 'a cosa cchiù bella
43 about u
44 honey boy
45 you boy (remix)
46 into you
47 aaja soniye
48 resonate
49 girl you got my heart (remix)
50 my dil goes mmmm
51 coming home
52 call my name
53 layla (acoustic live)
54 invitation
55 where you are (watching sunsets remix)
56 together
57 music is better (club edit)
58 still miss my {boys}
59 war baby (outro)
Mind as a hyper-dimensional membrane ~ Bernardo Kastrup
The heart of the matter ~ Bernardo Kastrup
i'll reserve another day for an in-depth discussion of "the meeting".
Alternatively, you can think of these as scientific art projects both work, so pick your poison LOL.
first time reading? please check out the sailing manual for helpful guidance!