Each one of us is surely chosen for the great roles we play in our daily lives. Every day we wake up following the trail around the clock. Especially we mothers are granted unique superpowers. Nourishing kids and taking responsibility for every single matter of the house. I didn’t get to decipher the ultimate power of motherhood until I became one. From first-time nervous mom to experienced mom of multiple kids. We have so much to tell. Though some of us are chosen by nature to go an extra mile than others. Because we are to raise more delicate and precious flowers from God's garden. I am Bethany and this is my story of raising 4 differently-abled children. This roller coaster journey started when I saw two red lines on a pregnancy strip. Till now I can't forget the feeling of that moment. My dream of having an ideal family life was soon to turn into a living reality. We with the kids make the best of every moment. I felt motherly each time he strolled in my womb. Finally one fortunate day I had my firstborn in my arms. That’s how I stepped into the new phase of life like many others. Keegan was such a sweet boy. Always busy in his own wanderings he was a bit too obsessed with a few favorites. Lightning McQueen and motorcycle cops were some of them. He had all that a mother wants, an intelligent independent boy who puts his food into the microwave all by himself. He always seemed much more mature than his age though he didn’t like to interact with others. We were a happy family. Nothing was complicated until I had to potty train him. I tried every trick in the book but my poor boy seemed to be afraid of toilets. It puzzled me because he was such an intelligent boy. Luckily one day out of the blue he sat on the toilet backward and finally it was a success. Looking back I’m not sure if he just needed to find a way to feel safe or what. Soon after I came to know that I was expecting a baby again. What else I could have asked for at that time. I was about to welcome another member to my happy home. Everything was going great until one day my whole world began to topple.

The endless journey of struggles began when Keegan's teachers complained about his fine motor skills. He was far behind the kids of his age in such activities. Learning disabilities caused him a big deal. Running from doctor to doctor. Fighting the school system. I didn’t take a breath of calm until things got clear. At last, I succeeded to know the truth after almost 7 years of toil. A psychiatrist diagnosed him with an autism spectrum disorder. I couldn't comprehend anything at that time. Maybe I didn’t want to pause to think that what has just happened. I never felt anything odd with him until he joined the school. I just wanted to move forward and do the best for him. His late diagnosis made little harder to get things on track but we got there gradually. I went to the school so many times to fight for his grades. Nobody at school bothered to consider he wasn't learning writing skills in the past. We had to suffer for it. However, I kept pushing the issue that his focus in special Ed time would be learning skills he lacks. Thankfully with time, our hard work started to pay off.

It was the time around my 2nd born Brayden was already in my lap. He was the total opposite of his elder brother. He gave me a tough time from the beginning. No matter how much I tried, to console him he always seemed unhappy. Outings or gatherings were always overwhelming for him. His physical milestones were also met late. I was worried mom rushed to doctors to alleviate my concerns but they always insisted to give him some time. Though it worked. He caught up with his development milestones. Potty training also happened with the flow. He had issues with speech and was difficult to understand. I thought he needs some time in it as well so I wasn’t bothered about it. By this time Keegan was diagnosed with autism.

But once his kindergarten began things changed and my peace of mind was gone forever.  His teacher who happened to be Keegan’s kindergarten teacher as well called me for a meeting. She expressed great concerns for Brayden as she saw the same issues that Keegan had.

I couldn’t believe what just happened. My spirits shattered. I went to the principal and wanted intervention right away as I didn’t want him to struggle like Keegan but he rejected and insisted on giving it some time. Wanting to fix the problem as soon as possible I packed up and moved. The new school was no help at all they didn’t meet Keegan’s needs much less lifted a finger for Brayden.

I was too worried nothing seemed to be working. But as they say ‘Where there is a will there is a way”. My dad offered me his place in a town where my uncle was well known in the school system. This changed the game for not only Brayden but Keegan as well. Both the boys were put into speech, occupational and physical therapy. My Brayden still struggled in school activities. Like Keegan he had no friends and no desire to socialize, the only thing he found joy it was video games. He had such a hard time learning and being around people. It did depress me but what I could have done knowing my kids have different needs I decided to make the best possible circumstances for both of my boys without pressurizing them.

Carrying a third child by now I could have felt broken. My mind would have been crowded with thoughts like what if this happens or that. But at that time everything seemed blurred I didn't think much of such things as deep down I knew that we don't have any other resort than to survive. Both boys struggled to write, tie shoe laces and do activities like this however we kept moving towards betterment.

Madelyn is my 3rd, my first girl child. Things were so much different with her this beautiful girl met all developmental milestones early. She walked around 9 months, was talking, potty trained at a year, and played with toys and other young kids of her age. Everything seemed perfect with her. By the time I was still struggling with Keegan and Brayden in their schools. I could not imagine Madelyn having any sort of problem in my wildest dreams. Around 2 years of age, she had a lot of emotional meltdowns. I just blew it off as normal tantrums. maybe I was a bit afraid to take this as a matter of concern. With time her meltdowns started getting intense. I still remember her hitting them head against the walls over little things. Getting wild to the extent that she started to self-harm. The tiniest things caused her so much agony. The sight of my little girl suffering from bruises after a huge meltdown still makes me teary-eyed. She had no major issues with her gross or fine motor skills but with reading and outdoor stimuli. The self-harm got intense to the point of biting herself, pulling her hair, and tying ropes around her neck. I was clueless as to what was causing these behaviors. It never appeared like autism to me as the boys were not violent in any way. I adapted therapy sessions for both of us just to get guidance to deal with the matter. In second grade the school decided to do their own evaluation of her. It took 9 months in total and they came back with an autism diagnosis. I didn't accept it at first, how this could be autism? Her ability to write, talk, and tie shoes were all there that the boys didn’t have. I fought for her as far as I could until they told me that autism manifests differently in girls than boys. Every individual suffers differently from it. And that these massive meltdowns were due to her sensitivity to sound, lights, and change.

I couldn’t believe my life back then. How could this happen to me? Why me?  I was already struggling with boys to follow the normal course of life and now my little girl too. She had to suffer too.

Managing both boys diagnosed now and struggling with Madelyn’s meltdowns. Nature granted me another child. My fourth born Aryn. Ah! my dear girl is the most affected but also the beat of my heart. She was born healthy and beautiful but her journey is just different. She had a seizure at three weeks of age for which doctors had no explanation. Her development milestones were all much delayed. I still remember my darling lying straight when she should be crawling and babbling around. The comforts of my lap could not soothe her. I had no option but to see her struggling with heavy eyes.

I began seeking a doctor’s help at 4 months, it was waiting to give it time. By 7 months my mom’s gut came to play I took a firm stand. My poor girl needed help now. And for the first time, I have referred to early intervention. She got speech, occupational and physical therapy regularly, we were seeing a neurologist as well. Aryn did sit up around 1 year of age and walked close to 3. She was officially diagnosed with autism at 2. She went through a lot from not keeping clothes on even a diaper, poop smearing, throwing huge tantrums, and is totally nonverbal to date. The danger is unknown to her and has no sense of strangers. Her high pain tolerance causes her to hurt herself to severe extents. I must be on my toes always.

Our outdoor trips often end in a scene, my poor girl being sound sensitive gets overstimulated by things that cause people to comment and judge us. Little did they know how much we had to deal with throughout the day. What they see is just a glimpse of the actual episode.

Honestly, I do feel exhausted and weak surviving the same grind daily. But whenever I'm on the verge of breaking I recall those contended faces sleeping sound in the comforts of their beds. They know in the morning we have someone waiting to love and cherish us no matter what.  Seeing them improve pays off all the hassle I have to go through than regular moms. With the kids getting older and years and years of therapy things are a lot easier now. We do face challenges but through the years I have learned how to navigate through them as they learn coping skills.

Keegan is 17 now he is an honors student and is in the top percentile of his class, a member of the Beta Club and FFA. God willing he will be taking college courses next year as a high school senior. Being kind, caring, and respectful, he helps around the house in any way he can. He is my rock.

Brayden is almost 15? The last year of junior high school is upon him. It took me many years to get his IEP exactly the way he needed to be successful. For the past two years Brayden has been an honor roll student all because of his handwork. His confidence is so much better now. He still has a speech impediment and struggles with learning but he fights through it and I'm always there fighting alongside him. Speaking to people is still difficult for him but he is a fighter. He is so funny that he can make you laugh for hours, his jokes are very dry in humor but once you get to know him you just can't help but love him. He is a big-time video gamer like Keegan and that's what he spends most of his time doing at home. Brayden is the joy maker of the house, bringing so much laughter.

Madelyn is 11, she still struggles in school however we are climbing the mountain slowly. She receives therapy twice a week to help her navigate when things get overwhelming rather than harming herself or others. This girl is so talented and crafty and can organize things way better than me for sure.

While Aryn is9 now. Poop smearing stopped about a year ago. She got enrolled in a special school before she was 3, which helps a lot. After tons of therapies, she wears clothes at certain times. She always stays in diapers as she is still not potty trained. However, with patience and hope, I am climbing the mountain with her.

This tale doesn’t end here. While all the hassle was going on in my life. Nature whacked me with another backlash. I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. That was such a scary time for me. Knowing if something happens to me, my kids would have nobody. It hurts to move and it’s even harder to get out of bed or stay awake. Did I cry so much, why? Why this too? If you ask me how I push through it? I can’t even tell you. All I can say is, that it's the love that I have for my kids that keeps me going and when I feel like I can't I remind myself that I have to. So there is no other option left.

I do have a 5th child, Gracie. She doesn't have autism. She is your typical 8-year-old who does great in school, makes friends, is very athletic, and boy does she talk, she is a chatterbox. To be honest I had difficulty raising her. I was so used to cater kids with autism. That’s what all I knew but with this bright-eyed playful loving little girl I had no idea what to do. It was like being a first-time mom. However, she fits in her own way. Helps and looks after her siblings even at this young age.

Back then I had a lot of questions. How can so many of my kids have autism? I wanted answers. For a long time, there were none. A couple of years ago I went to see a new doctor and she was asking me about Aryn so I gave her a brief story about my kids. She was beyond interested and decided to help me get answers. I was referred to a geneticist. And after months of testing and questions, he gave me an answer. It was a relief in a way but also broke me to pieces. I carried a genetic abnormality in the 15th chromosome. It was one of the few genetic abnormalities passed from parent to child. This abnormality typically comes with an autism diagnosis. I was in shock. There is a reason but at the same time, I blamed myself for a long time. I felt I did this, I gave this to my children. They struggle because I am their mother. It is still heart-wrenching. I had to come to peace with it. It was hard but I couldn't let it get me down in a victim mentality because my kids need a strong mother so I cannot break.

It won't be wrong to say that motherhood is like a radiant rainbow. Which is a symbol of happiness and blessing but there are not just 7 shades in it. In fact, there are numerous. Every shade slightly varies from the other. Yet they resemble each other. Likewise, we mothers have our own unique journeys but the best part is we can still relate to one another. Motherhood is universal and speaks the same language no matter where you live.

I have shared my story to find many like you who are struggling at different levels. Know that you are not alone.

Back in my time, there were no parent support groups as now. Doctors and therapists also learned from the books despite practical experiences. When I used to go to them with an issue they seemed clueless. They never heard of the problem before hence no helpful advice or guidance was provided. I was completely on my own.

Luckily today's digital world lends a huge relief in terms of information and support and I would like to do the same. My utmost motive is to convey as much awareness about Autism spectrum disorder as I can. So that no other parent has to suffer as I did.

Let's connect and build a better community by helping one another

Each one of us is surely chosen for the great roles we play in our daily lives. Every day we wake up following the trail around the clock. Especially we mothers are granted unique superpowers. Nourishing kids and taking responsibility for every single matter of the house. I didn’t get to decipher the ultimate power of motherhood until I became one. From first-time nervous mom to experienced mom of multiple kids. We have so much to tell. Though some of us are chosen by nature to go an extra mile than others. Because we are to raise more delicate and precious flowers from God's garden. I am Bethany and this is my story of raising 4 differently-abled children. This roller coaster journey started when I saw two red lines on a pregnancy strip. Till now I can't forget the feeling of that moment. My dream of having an ideal family life was soon to turn into a living reality. We with the kids make the best of every moment. I felt motherly each time he strolled in my womb. Finally one fortunate day I had my firstborn in my arms. That’s how I stepped into the new phase of life like many others. Keegan was such a sweet boy. Always busy in his own wanderings he was a bit too obsessed with a few favorites. Lightning McQueen and motorcycle cops were some of them. He had all that a mother wants, an intelligent independent boy who puts his food into the microwave all by himself. He always seemed much more mature than his age though he didn’t like to interact with others. We were a happy family. Nothing was complicated until I had to potty train him. I tried every trick in the book but my poor boy seemed to be afraid of toilets. It puzzled me because he was such an intelligent boy. Luckily one day out of the blue he sat on the toilet backward and finally it was a success. Looking back I’m not sure if he just needed to find a way to feel safe or what. Soon after I came to know that I was expecting a baby again. What else I could have asked for at that time. I was about to welcome another member to my happy home. Everything was going great until one day my whole world began to topple.

The endless journey of struggles began when Keegan's teachers complained about his fine motor skills. He was far behind the kids of his age in such activities. Learning disabilities caused him a big deal. Running from doctor to doctor. Fighting the school system. I didn’t take a breath of calm until things got clear. At last, I succeeded to know the truth after almost 7 years of toil. A psychiatrist diagnosed him with an autism spectrum disorder. I couldn't comprehend anything at that time. Maybe I didn’t want to pause to think that what has just happened. I never felt anything odd with him until he joined the school. I just wanted to move forward and do the best for him. His late diagnosis made little harder to get things on track but we got there gradually. I went to the school so many times to fight for his grades. Nobody at school bothered to consider he wasn't learning writing skills in the past. We had to suffer for it. However, I kept pushing the issue that his focus in special Ed time would be learning skills he lacks. Thankfully with time, our hard work started to pay off.

It was the time around my 2nd born Brayden was already in my lap. He was the total opposite of his elder brother. He gave me a tough time from the beginning. No matter how much I tried, to console him he always seemed unhappy. Outings or gatherings were always overwhelming for him. His physical milestones were also met late. I was worried mom rushed to doctors to alleviate my concerns but they always insisted to give him some time. Though it worked. He caught up with his development milestones. Potty training also happened with the flow. He had issues with speech and was difficult to understand. I thought he needs some time in it as well so I wasn’t bothered about it. By this time Keegan was diagnosed with autism.

But once his kindergarten began things changed and my peace of mind was gone forever.  His teacher who happened to be Keegan’s kindergarten teacher as well called me for a meeting. She expressed great concerns for Brayden as she saw the same issues that Keegan had.

I couldn’t believe what just happened. My spirits shattered. I went to the principal and wanted intervention right away as I didn’t want him to struggle like Keegan but he rejected and insisted on giving it some time. Wanting to fix the problem as soon as possible I packed up and moved. The new school was no help at all they didn’t meet Keegan’s needs much less lifted a finger for Brayden.

I was too worried nothing seemed to be working. But as they say ‘Where there is a will there is a way”. My dad offered me his place in a town where my uncle was well known in the school system. This changed the game for not only Brayden but Keegan as well. Both the boys were put into speech, occupational and physical therapy. My Brayden still struggled in school activities. Like Keegan he had no friends and no desire to socialize, the only thing he found joy it was video games. He had such a hard time learning and being around people. It did depress me but what I could have done knowing my kids have different needs I decided to make the best possible circumstances for both of my boys without pressurizing them.

Carrying a third child by now I could have felt broken. My mind would have been crowded with thoughts like what if this happens or that. But at that time everything seemed blurred I didn't think much of such things as deep down I knew that we don't have any other resort than to survive. Both boys struggled to write, tie shoe laces and do activities like this however we kept moving towards betterment.

Madelyn is my 3rd, my first girl child. Things were so much different with her this beautiful girl met all developmental milestones early. She walked around 9 months, was talking, potty trained at a year, and played with toys and other young kids of her age. Everything seemed perfect with her. By the time I was still struggling with Keegan and Brayden in their schools. I could not imagine Madelyn having any sort of problem in my wildest dreams. Around 2 years of age, she had a lot of emotional meltdowns. I just blew it off as normal tantrums. maybe I was a bit afraid to take this as a matter of concern. With time her meltdowns started getting intense. I still remember her hitting them head against the walls over little things. Getting wild to the extent that she started to self-harm. The tiniest things caused her so much agony. The sight of my little girl suffering from bruises after a huge meltdown still makes me teary-eyed. She had no major issues with her gross or fine motor skills but with reading and outdoor stimuli. The self-harm got intense to the point of biting herself, pulling her hair, and tying ropes around her neck. I was clueless as to what was causing these behaviors. It never appeared like autism to me as the boys were not violent in any way. I adapted therapy sessions for both of us just to get guidance to deal with the matter. In second grade the school decided to do their own evaluation of her. It took 9 months in total and they came back with an autism diagnosis. I didn't accept it at first, how this could be autism? Her ability to write, talk, and tie shoes were all there that the boys didn’t have. I fought for her as far as I could until they told me that autism manifests differently in girls than boys. Every individual suffers differently from it. And that these massive meltdowns were due to her sensitivity to sound, lights, and change.

I couldn’t believe my life back then. How could this happen to me? Why me?  I was already struggling with boys to follow the normal course of life and now my little girl too. She had to suffer too.

Managing both boys diagnosed now and struggling with Madelyn’s meltdowns. Nature granted me another child. My fourth born Aryn. Ah! my dear girl is the most affected but also the beat of my heart. She was born healthy and beautiful but her journey is just different. She had a seizure at three weeks of age for which doctors had no explanation. Her development milestones were all much delayed. I still remember my darling lying straight when she should be crawling and babbling around. The comforts of my lap could not soothe her. I had no option but to see her struggling with heavy eyes.

I began seeking a doctor’s help at 4 months, it was waiting to give it time. By 7 months my mom’s gut came to play I took a firm stand. My poor girl needed help now. And for the first time, I have referred to early intervention. She got speech, occupational and physical therapy regularly, we were seeing a neurologist as well. Aryn did sit up around 1 year of age and walked close to 3. She was officially diagnosed with autism at 2. She went through a lot from not keeping clothes on even a diaper, poop smearing, throwing huge tantrums, and is totally nonverbal to date. The danger is unknown to her and has no sense of strangers. Her high pain tolerance causes her to hurt herself to severe extents. I must be on my toes always.

Our outdoor trips often end in a scene, my poor girl being sound sensitive gets overstimulated by things that cause people to comment and judge us. Little did they know how much we had to deal with throughout the day. What they see is just a glimpse of the actual episode.

Honestly, I do feel exhausted and weak surviving the same grind daily. But whenever I'm on the verge of breaking I recall those contended faces sleeping sound in the comforts of their beds. They know in the morning we have someone waiting to love and cherish us no matter what.  Seeing them improve pays off all the hassle I have to go through than regular moms. With the kids getting older and years and years of therapy things are a lot easier now. We do face challenges but through the years I have learned how to navigate through them as they learn coping skills.

Keegan is 17 now he is an honors student and is in the top percentile of his class, a member of the Beta Club and FFA. God willing he will be taking college courses next year as a high school senior. Being kind, caring, and respectful, he helps around the house in any way he can. He is my rock.

Brayden is almost 15? The last year of junior high school is upon him. It took me many years to get his IEP exactly the way he needed to be successful. For the past two years Brayden has been an honor roll student all because of his handwork. His confidence is so much better now. He still has a speech impediment and struggles with learning but he fights through it and I'm always there fighting alongside him. Speaking to people is still difficult for him but he is a fighter. He is so funny that he can make you laugh for hours, his jokes are very dry in humor but once you get to know him you just can't help but love him. He is a big-time video gamer like Keegan and that's what he spends most of his time doing at home. Brayden is the joy maker of the house, bringing so much laughter.

Madelyn is 11, she still struggles in school however we are climbing the mountain slowly. She receives therapy twice a week to help her navigate when things get overwhelming rather than harming herself or others. This girl is so talented and crafty and can organize things way better than me for sure.

While Aryn is9 now. Poop smearing stopped about a year ago. She got enrolled in a special school before she was 3, which helps a lot. After tons of therapies, she wears clothes at certain times. She always stays in diapers as she is still not potty trained. However, with patience and hope, I am climbing the mountain with her.

This tale doesn’t end here. While all the hassle was going on in my life. Nature whacked me with another backlash. I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. That was such a scary time for me. Knowing if something happens to me, my kids would have nobody. It hurts to move and it’s even harder to get out of bed or stay awake. Did I cry so much, why? Why this too? If you ask me how I push through it? I can’t even tell you. All I can say is, that it's the love that I have for my kids that keeps me going and when I feel like I can't I remind myself that I have to. So there is no other option left.

I do have a 5th child, Gracie. She doesn't have autism. She is your typical 8-year-old who does great in school, makes friends, is very athletic, and boy does she talk, she is a chatterbox. To be honest I had difficulty raising her. I was so used to cater kids with autism. That’s what all I knew but with this bright-eyed playful loving little girl I had no idea what to do. It was like being a first-time mom. However, she fits in her own way. Helps and looks after her siblings even at this young age.

Back then I had a lot of questions. How can so many of my kids have autism? I wanted answers. For a long time, there were none. A couple of years ago I went to see a new doctor and she was asking me about Aryn so I gave her a brief story about my kids. She was beyond interested and decided to help me get answers. I was referred to a geneticist. And after months of testing and questions, he gave me an answer. It was a relief in a way but also broke me to pieces. I carried a genetic abnormality in the 15th chromosome. It was one of the few genetic abnormalities passed from parent to child. This abnormality typically comes with an autism diagnosis. I was in shock. There is a reason but at the same time, I blamed myself for a long time. I felt I did this, I gave this to my children. They struggle because I am their mother. It is still heart-wrenching. I had to come to peace with it. It was hard but I couldn't let it get me down in a victim mentality because my kids need a strong mother so I cannot break.

It won't be wrong to say that motherhood is like a radiant rainbow. Which is a symbol of happiness and blessing but there are not just 7 shades in it. In fact, there are numerous. Every shade slightly varies from the other. Yet they resemble each other. Likewise, we mothers have our own unique journeys but the best part is we can still relate to one another. Motherhood is universal and speaks the same language no matter where you live.

I have shared my story to find many like you who are struggling at different levels. Know that you are not alone.

Back in my time, there were no parent support groups as now. Doctors and therapists also learned from the books despite practical experiences. When I used to go to them with an issue they seemed clueless. They never heard of the problem before hence no helpful advice or guidance was provided. I was completely on my own.

Luckily today's digital world lends a huge relief in terms of information and support and I would like to do the same. My utmost motive is to convey as much awareness about Autism spectrum disorder as I can. So that no other parent has to suffer as I did.

Let's connect and build a better community by helping one another