I love going on first dates. Quite frankly, it’s one of my favourite little adventures. The idea that I can become anyone I want to be, at least for a few hours, that I can create any character of my imagination, is incredibly fascinating. It’s a theatre play, it’s a dance, it’s a little silly game. I can never seem to take the experience seriously. I don’t even know what a ‘proper’ date is supposed to feel like. I know that if I meet a person and I can sense that they’re attracted to me and I’m attracted to them, I immediately feel myself fall into a game of hide and seek.

First, there’s the initial talking stage where you sort of gather who is going to be hiding and who’s going to be seeking. It’s that cat and mouse chase, where both of you are enjoying the run, although one feels more like a prize to be one, whilst the other feels like the winner who’s won it. That rests on some sort of invisible power dynamic that the two of you develop before you start peeling off each other’s layers. If the dynamic feels graceful and right, there’s a whole lot of humourous teasing involved in the initial stages of talking. Flirting isn’t simply giving somebody compliments. The superficial boredom of that would make itself apparent within a matter of days. Flirting is much more unique and hilarious. Flirting is essentially an improvised dance. You never know which direction it’s going to take. You can never be sure how your provocation is going to be received. And that’s where all of the fun lies. There are very few things that are as exciting as the little buzz you get from sending a provocative, flirtatious text to somebody you’re passionate about. It’s a moment of ‘Do I dare to do that?’ followed by a scream in the pillow or an ‘Ahhh, I did it, so now what?’. Then, once it’s sent, the waiting for a reply is excruciating, no matter the length of time that actually passes. You once more get to meet your shadow self in your waiting. The thoughts can run through a flash or stay within you for days, depending on the work you’ve done on yourself. Regardless, you learn something new about yourself and get to draw a new place on the map of all of your experiences.

You also get to know the other person’s insecurities and fears through flirting, you learn the boundaries and taboo topics that shouldn’t be touched. You start creating a language that is shared just between the two of you. A specific tone, pet names and inside jokes are the very foundation of the initial getting to know each other stage. It is the stage of wanting to be seen at your best. When it’s too scary to burp in front of each other and still embarrassing to have something stuck in between your teeth. It’s the stage of awkward silliness whilst still tiptoeing around each other because the foundation under your feet is just being formed. The dynamic between the two of you is not set in stone and whilst one day it might feel like you are the one chasing them, another day, through the beauty of a new conversation, the game is reversed. The process of peeling off layers upon layers of one another is incredibly intimate. With each question, you give an invitation for the other person to come dance with you. And if you get lucky, the dance becomes your life.