Hi everyone👋🏾 Happy 420!

I came across someone's tweet on starting a 90-day journal challenge, and I think I'm gonna do it. They provided prompts to make it easier for people to follow, and I'm wondering why I didn't just do that.

Today was okay. I was up till 5 am this morning so I slept then and woke up by 11 am. I spent most of today farming airdrops and learning more about runes. I was supposed to work on my auction smart contract. I planned to write the function to end the auction and distribute the item and bids, but now that my brain has decided that this is a hard task, we've been procrastinating and writing different logic (in English) to implement it but not writing the actual code. I'll try again tonight anyway, I believe I'll get it done.

I had laundry to do, but I've been really sad and unable to do a lot of physical activities. I managed to shower sometime this evening and I felt some kind of relief afterwards. I also made yet another plan to help me get stuff done. I can't wait till I'm better at writing code so I can build stuff to carry out all my tasks for me. I'm absolutely thankful for the constant electricity here, it's made me considerably more productive. I'm also glad I didn't get a bigger apartment because my workspace would have been in another room and it would be such a struggle to get to it every day. Plus, I'd spend the whole day in my room, on my bed wallowing. At least now I can do that at my desk instead.

I spent most of today high as fuck, because 420 (not that I needed a reason to be high on a Saturday). I'm not quite sure how to describe my mood for today, but let me tell you, it was a lot better than yesterday, so yeah, I'm thankful for that too. I wish I could channel all of this sadness into being productive. I already do not have much of a social life, so why would I rather spend the day on my bed staring into space and wishing I had a better life? Instead of actually putting in the work to get all of that. Well, I'm trying not to be too hard on myself because I've shown up this week. So I want to be optimistic that I'll keep showing up like this and keep pushing so that by this time next year I'll have stopped feeling like a fraud.

Bye!